HELL SAFARI – Edo State, Nigeria - Ghana, Benin & Kano

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Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 5:04 pm

Awww..... How sweet to offer him dinner, a shower, and cold beer. I know he appreciates it.

Quote:

I WILL BE WAITING

Oh yes, that part is most definitely true. Laughing

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 6:44 pm

In 1911 hrs local, this time from Randy's e.mail address:

Quote:

Hello Mr.Salami

i receive your mail and it was well understood ok,so my yahoomail has been block from sending mail right now so i decided to use this to reach you.

Meanwhile am sitting down at the beer parlour closer to the main gate of the airport so once it is 7:30pm-8:00 i want you to check on me there and please do remember that i have no where to go to.

Thanks
Alex Kelvin

Looks like he is having a beer after all! Smile

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 7:04 pm

Well, if he can afford luxurious taxi rides and leisurely afternoon beers, he can afford a room at La Princesse Hotel in Parakou. Highly recommended!
Or, perhaps 55C Pendjari National Park, only a couple hundred miles away past Natintingou would be more to his liking? Tomorrow night, I hear they are serving Prime Rib of Angus Beef and Alaskan King Crab legs, and the wine list is phenomenal! Laughing

Nice stredding, Monsignor! Very Happy

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 8:52 pm

The Lad wrote:

please do remember that i have no where to go to.

Thanks
Alex Ke1vin

Amazing, they always go on Safari with just enough money to get there. Figuring they will get more than enough to get home with their pockets filled. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 8:59 pm

More bad news at 2141 hrs local from Our Man in Parakou:

Quote:

Dear Mr.Salami

I want you to know and understand perfectly well that both of us have tried to meet but fortunately we could not meet so here is the method i want you to use now because am right here in the street of parakou cyber cafe opposite the main gate of airport.

Sir,the reason we both were unable to meet is that i dont have a phone number for easily location so here is the manager of the cafe phone 93563XXX number and i requires that you can me now so i can tell you were to pick me and know that since moring i have not eating anything and i dont have any were to sleep

Please with all due respect i am expecting your call immediately ok
Thanks
Alex kelvin

I sent him this:

Quote:

Dear mr. kelvin,
Well i have been out looking again and not found you. I am wonder if you are in right place in parakou.

I am going home now, but cannot leave you streded, so i hav spoke with mr ed. Robins at allstar h.q about your plight. Mr. robins has booked you into a hotel in parakou for this nait. When you get to check in desk, make it clear to clerk that you are alex kelvin guest of allstar. Your room and food in cafe are included, but telephone and newspaper is not.

The hotel is called Hotel le Princes and is just north of town off main road from malanville. From the airport is about 15 mins walk,. Anyone will direct you, or you can get bush taxi.

Now, important instructions for morning. My deputy, mr. mbayo will pick you outside hotel in morning. He will bring you direct to me, so no more problem.

Your money is well secured in iron safe here, so no need to worry about this mater.

Look out for mr. mbayo outside hotel in morning.

Heartily,
Pierre
Depot Manager
AllStar Benin Mail Hub

So, let's see what the morning brings... Crying or Very sad

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 9:48 pm

I can just see him if he makes it at the 'La Princesse Hotel'

Quote:

I am 'alex ke1vin guest of allst@r'

Hotel clerk

Quote:

Who

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 9:54 pm

Superb baiting. Dangle carrot, lad reaches, falls on his face. Dangle a new carrot, lad reaches even further, falls that much harder. Rinse and repeat. "Please Monsignor, will you abuse me some more?" Lovely stuff. Very Happy

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 10:11 pm

JF, I see that you have had a Safari with almost identical geography. How did your Lad get back (ie, method and funding) to Nigeria from Parakou?

Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 11:14 pm

I think the first lad I sent to Parakou borrowed money from friends or family to get there, and no doubt went back to them for money to get back home.

The second was in a different bait, and was an oga who too charge of my maga personally. He drove to the camp from Cotonou with one of his cronies but somehow never found it. Laughing

But he did damage his jeep on the rough roads. He was pissed.

For the third one he sent one of his flunkies, a ladette. Like yours, she went with just enough money to get there, expecting to come back with something like $50K in cash. Oops. She hired a driver to take her to the camp but never found it. Ultimately he hauled her to Tanguietta and turned her over to the police for non-payment. The oga bailed her out and paid her way home. He insisted my character pay for the costs but that didn't happen, oddly enough. Laughing

That was one mighty unhappy oga. And the whole time I was also playing a lad character who did meet up with the (widow) maga in the camp, and not only got the money and laptops she brought, but seduced her as well. The oga went apoplectic on my fake lad and lavished me with threats. Good times!

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2003 Posts: 4747

"and i dont have any were to sleep "

What a whiner, how many people spend big money to go camping?

I used to have a character called, Mr. Fozzy the pimp who could have helped him out. He was around a few years back and he had stable of boys to “pleasure” western visitors. He also worked for “stress reduction” in farm animals.

I should brush up on my pidgin English. Twisted Evil

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 2:42 am

Excellent safari, Monsignor! Thumbs up

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 4:48 am

Stupendous baiting, The Monsignor!!! Very Happy

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 7:51 am

You get extra points from me for working "fraudstars" and "harkers" into your phone call, without him catching on. Laughing

I wonder if there could be some kind of security sweep going on at the airport so all packages must be moved to another location? Maybe a bomb threat or the like. All cleared packages are to be picked up at some approved collection centre a little further down the trail.

You could add that there will be "two" cold beers waiting him as well. Wink

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 12:05 pm

Someone up above is smiling on me! This is just getting better and better...

Quote:

Dear Mr.Salami

I want you to know that am very angry with the ways things are going because according to your mail was that a hotel La princess has been arrange for me to spend a night,so i went there yesterday night and the hotel clerk told me that there was no booking for me so with that i was confuse and fraustrated in the street looking for where to rest my head not untill i find some one who i shared my problems with,he told me to meet the Chairman of Igbos(Nigerians) so that he can help me but by the time i got there it was past 10:00PM they have all slept and i decided to meet people at the motor park till i fell asleep but unfortunately i was rob by the thief during my sleep when they cut my trouser and found out that i have nothing,so i thank God that my Driver licence was not stolen.

Sir,all i want you to help me now since both of us as been by passing and misplacing each other for days now and my staying here is not plan and comfortable been in the street was all i does not want to happen so am here by requesting for your personal phone number so i can call you to let you know my exact location at a spot ok,because i does not want to spend extract days here today.

Mr.Pierre,Since the mistake of our misplacing each other has been realize so am right here in the CYBER CAFE with the address::: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx near airport ok,so am right here for we to meet and finalise this deal in other for i to get to Nigeria today.

Await your urgent response
Alex Kelvin

He's an Igbo? I can't believe it. Igbos are renowned in Nigeria for being very shrewd in business.

Well, thunderstorms were predicted in Benin for this weekend; I hope that he has an umbrella.

PS: Many thanks JF for sharing the info ^^^. I will look through your posts to find the safaris. Thanks all for your encouragement.

Master Baiter Joined: 03 May 2011 Posts: 237

Things really aren't looking up for this lad. Think he'll ever get back to Nigeria? Or think he'll get die/get killed on the streets of Parakou?

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1301

It is a great safari. Maybe the hotel had a problem with the credit card you weren't aware of. Still sounds like a nice enough place to be stranded.

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 4:42 pm

Streded, sleeping in a car park, and getting robbed. HUGE thumbs-up for this bait, Monsignor! Epic lad pain, and it is far from over. He has a long way to go before he can get home, and no way to do it.....

I need to get back into the safari business. I just looked up my old Parakou bait (my, how time flies...) and I had forgotten what a blast it was. Especially since I got to butt heads with an unusually educated, upper-level oga. Good times. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 8:45 pm

Well, it's been another miserable day for our streded Lad. The AllStar Benin Mail Manager (Mr Salami) has made numerous unsuccessful attempts to find him, as has his Deputy (Mr Mbayo). Salami asked the Lad for a photo with a sign, but no luck (he has left his mobile phone with the Cotonou taxi driver who brought him on that fateful journey to Parakou). My baiting character sent him £60 GBP from his Chapel Poor Box via MoneyGram, but what a shame! It required Security Shie1d verification and after another day on the streets, our Lad's cash seems to be finally out and his internet time with it.

Here are a few highlights since this morning:

Quote:

Sir,i dont understand what you meet ok,as i told you before that i went to the hotel la princess yesterday night and the clerk said that they manager of the hotel leaves in Abroad and i shown them my driver license that am allstar guest they told me that they did not book any arrangement ok,

I dont have any money with me to take the photograph so with my driver licence you can confirm by identification and beside today is sunday you quite knew that many store did not open.

am still right here at the cafe ok

Quote:

IF YOU DONT BELIVE ME THAT I WAS IN THE HOTEL YESTERDAY NIGHT THEN YOU COME AND PICK ME SO WE CAN GO STRAIGHT TO THE HOTEL TO CONFIRM MY PRESENCE FROM THE CLERK IN THE HOTEL.

I SPEND UP TO A HOUR EVEN THEY DONT UNDERSTAND ENGLISH SO SOMEONE CAME TO INTERPRET MY ENGLISH TO THEN IN FRENCH

Quote:

I DONT WANT THIS TO DELAY MY JOURNEY BACK TO NIGERIA BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO THIS PLACE IN MY LIFE I DONT HAVE ANYWHERE TO STAY SO WITH DUE RESPECT I KNEW QUITE WELL THAT YOU HAVE TRIED ALOT SO JUST ENSURES YOU FINISH THE GOOD WORK YOU HAVE STARTED (I will, my son, I will).

One from Mr Salami:

Quote:

hello sir,

i have now been round this area 6 times these past weekend days and no sign of you. I am thinking you are an internet game player wastin my time. Listen carefully, i rang princes hotel and the manager confirm the bookin was made last nait so how you say the clerk no know of it!?

Mr. robins sometime pay the wisecrack on us here and send us on a wild goose chase 1 or 2 time each year. Is good nature butthis time is go on for too long.

I know well the adress you give me for the cyber cafe but i no go dey again as i go 6 time around now.

If you really dey then you must prove to me as i fed up with this game, o.k? you must take photo of your self and e.mail to me. To prove you are really dey and not pull picture from internet, you must hold up sign with this written on it: I AM WAITING FOR MY SALAMI. You say you hav no cellphone well then u get the cyber cafe owner or anuda bro to take picture and e.mail to me.

Mr. mbayo is now out in van until 1600 hrs or about then,. If i have picture from you before then, i come and pick you from cyber cafe on xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. No photo then i know this is robins joke, o.k.

Send the picture and i pick you.

Mr, Salami
Depot Manager
AllStar Benin Mail Hub

Quote:

PLEASE SIR I DID NOT SEE A SNAPPING PHONE DO HELP TO SAVE MY TIME

Quote:

SIR PLEASE THEN YOU CAN AS WELL DIRECT ME IN A SIMPLE WAY TO MEET WITH YOU BECAUSE I REALLY DOES NOT UNDERSTAND ALL THE DELAY

I BEG OF YOU FINISH THE GOOD WORK YOU HAVE STARTED OK?AM TIRED OF BEEN IN THIS PLACE IF I MUST CONFESS THAT SINCE I CAME I HAVE NOT TOOKEN MY BATH AND PASTE ALL BECAUSE I HAVE ANY WHERE TO STAY SINCE 3 DAYS NOW.

PLEASE I KNOW YOU HAVE ALL TRIED (eh?) BUT ALSO CONSIDER MY SITUATION HERE IN PARAKOU AND I DID NOT BRING ANY CLOTHS RATHER THAN WHAT AM PUTTING ON SINCE THE PAST DAYS HERE.

ACTUALLY MY PLAN AND THOUGHT WAS THAT ONCE I GET TO COTONOU THE DAY I CAM IS TO COLLECT THE PARCEL AND RETURN BACK TO NIGERIA AND THE WORST PART HERE IS THAT MY TROUSER AS A FELL ASLEEP YESTERDAY NIGHT AT THE MOTOR PARK WAS TEAR MY THIEF YOU CAN AS WELL VERIFIED ONCE YOU SEE ME.

AM DEPESTRATE TO ME YOU TO ENABLES ME GET BACK NIGHT JOURNEY TO NIGERIA ABEG

THANKS
ALEX

Quote:

sir,am getting this whole thing confuse did you still wish me to sleep in the street today again?
come and see me here at the cafe the cafe dont have a cod so am not getting this whole thing funny ok,

you can verify me here and not just because of this i will be spending another day in the street since i came here i dont have anything left for me so i really does not no why now you are fraustrating me

Quote:

AM WAITING NOW 9.00PM STILL HERE SO ONCE HE COMES LET HIM ASK OF ALX KELVIN

I DONT HAVE ANY MONEY TO BUY TIME AGAIN SO ONCE IT IS 9.00PM DO RIGHT NOW AM STILL HERE HE MUST SEE ME NOW OK AND THIS IS THE LAST MAIL AM SENDING TO YOU TODAY SO LET HIM ACKNOLEDGE MAIL BY COMING TO MY AID FOR PICK UP HERE AT THE CAFE

REGARDS
ALEX

I'm thinking about chopping him tomorrow (if I hear from him).

Sleep well, Alex.

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 9:15 pm

Simply beautiful. And the fact that he sincerely believes you're trying to help him makes it all the sweeter. No ranting about betrayal; he's totally on the hook and actually grateful for all you're doing for him, not realizing how thoroughly you have screwed him. Well played.

Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 9:18 pm

^^^ Thanks, JF. I'm hoping for more bad news from him in the morning.

PS: Thanks for the link to one of your own Parakou Safaris. I'm up to p3 so far.

Baiting Guru Joined: 27 Mar 2011 Posts: 21158

Juan Freizwidatt wrote:

my old Parakou bait

That was a great read Juan! Not to take away from the bait in progress here, but I didn't want to necro that thread!

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 12:29 am

Quote:

AM TIRED OF BEEN IN THIS PLACE IF I MUST CONFESS THAT SINCE I CAME I HAVE NOT TOOKEN MY BATH AND PASTE ALL BECAUSE I HAVE ANY WHERE TO STAY SINCE 3 DAYS NOW.

Quote:

I DID NOT BRING ANY CLOTHS RATHER THAN WHAT AM PUTTING ON SINCE THE PAST DAYS HERE.

Quote:

PART HERE IS THAT MY TROUSER AS A FELL ASLEEP YESTERDAY NIGHT AT THE MOTOR PARK WAS TEAR MY THIEF YOU CAN AS WELL VERIFIED ONCE YOU SEE ME.

It just gets better every day!

jump_4_joy

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 1:14 am

Quote:

did you still wish me to sleep in the street today again?

Yes! Totally screwed lad!

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2003 Posts: 4747

This might be useful

NIGERIA and the Republic of Benin have initiated new measures to check increasing threat to security along their common borders and to make movement safer for citizens of both countries.

This was made known at the weekend by President Boni Yayi of Benin Republic, after holding talks with President Goodluck Jonathan at the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport, Abuja. ( "Nigeria, Benin Republic initiate new security measure " by Leon Usigbe, Abuja Nigerian Tribune Monday, 17 October 2011 )

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 1:42 pm

Quote:

I MUST CONFESS THAT SINCE I CAME I HAVE NOT TOOKEN MY BATH

There simply is nothing that makes me laugh harder than a lad who writes how dirty, stinking, and rotten he is feeling by saying this. Stupendous safari!

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