HELL SAFARI – Edo State, Nigeria - Ghana, Benin & Kano

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Hello I'm New here! Joined: 14 Oct 2011 Posts: 18

I've done a little dabbling in baiting before but this blows my mind away. I actually feel sorry for the dupe, even knowing what SOB's they are. What's he going to have to do? WALK back home? Methinks he's going to find another occupation before long... Shocked

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 3:53 pm

If you feel sorry for this criminal scumbag who has no conscience, go read this recent story posted here. You may soon change your mind.
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=209801

Scammers who get streded always make it home ok, unless they are rare fools like Andrew and Charles of the Wicked Evil Safari, who decided to stay streded. Probably to avoid paying back their debts to their creditor friends and to avoid all the humiliation and ridicule they would receive if they went home. This idiot asshole will surely get back home. They borrow money from home in most cases. I wish I could actually get a lad to walk home from a 1,000 mile safari. Sadly, this is not possible.

What can he do now? Hopefully suffer some more. Resorting to male prostitution is also a good option for him. He sold his soul to the devil for money, so screw him. Maybe an elephant will come out of the forest and gore him. I just wish I was a fly on the wall to see how the dirty bastard is crying like a little baby right now. Whatever he suffers, it is no where near the suffering that he inflicts on others. Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 4:14 pm

Monsignor, can you make reservations for him at the Simba Safari Camp? It's not very far from Parakou, and I hear that the accommodations are exquisite.

You can send the lad's money directly to the Concierge and your lad could collect it upon arrival. I am also told that they have a small airstrip there. If you were feeling really bad about the lad's condition, you could even charter the lad a direct flight back home.

Master Baiter Joined: 03 May 2011 Posts: 237

I have zero sympathy for lads - I just wondered if he would get back or not. I care not whether he gets stabbed in a back alley somewhere, or whether he has to hoof it back to Lagos, without food or water.

Posted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 9:09 pm

DAY 4. Today's highlights:

Quote:

I requires you write me now to inform me what he is putting on and the color of his car because today now will make it 4 days in the street of parakou without a bath and a paste so am really tired of been in the street.

Quote:

SIR WITH DUE RESPECT I WANT YOU TO SEND ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER SO I CAN CALLED YOU TO LOCATE YOUR OFFICE INSIDE THE AIRPORT BECAUSE REALLY I WANT TO GET BACK TO NIGERIA TODAY OK

It’s Salami’s day off, so his Deputy Mr Mbayo sees an opportunity:

Quote:

kelvin dis mbayo-salami rest monday.check very well wat i tell u.

i se you yestrday. salami send me most time lookin but i ave 2 wait 4 im to take rest day becos i need 2 email u 1-1. salami is good man but e like indian hemp. he smoke all day. guy check well e email, dis start good but by nite de all wrong.

listen i no u 419 artist. 1st time i ear nigerain an 1000 cash i no. but i don giv 2 fuck. my ancestor use 2 eat dese fuckin colonialist. salmi and robins don no dere bomba from di mango, o.k?

i can elp u if u can elp me. i no safe combi & can get yr moni 4u. i can do somtyhin else 4u. 2moro early di mail plane (small lite aircrft 2 seat) cum 4 mail & go 2 cotonou & den Abuja & on 2 cameroon. i no pilot well & can get u on plane 4 bribe 2 pilot.

check me well,if u tell robins den i tell im u 419 & u no get dis fuckin moni. salmi ave u arres. di gendarme (polis) ere dey flog u.

so, guyman, ow much upay mi? mbayo

Lad responds:

Quote:

SIR AM IN THAT CAFE CAN WE SEE ABEG COME NOW YOU WE MEET ME HER OK

But Mbayo holds out for a firm price for his assistance:

Quote:

Listen i cannot jus lve airport. they have camera & secrity log all dis. today i do all w=rk dat salami lve me plus mi wrk also. i onlybak in dis offic mayb evry hour or 2 hr.

u giv me price & i elp u. u get moni & also di CFA Franc in envelope (ghana). u get ride in plane bak 2 nigerai.

ow much u pay mi?

Despite 4 days in the streets, greedy Lad holds out:

Quote:

Hello
So all i need you to help me now is the full address of were Mr.Salami is located because am very much desperate to meet him.

Remember that this consignment was ship to me by a friend (that must be me) in UK,he has been shipping things for me before even before this i went to ghana for this same purpose so were is Mr.Salami?

If only what i requires from you now is to assist me with legit location address so i can come to your office now and dont worry once i retrieve my parcels definitely i will give you something ok,and i wants to correct the impression that this is not a 419 ok.

Thanks and await your address and phone number for easily location
Alex Kelvin

He then emails Salami (who he knows has a day off):

Quote:

Dear Mr.Salami

This is to let you know that i tried to hear from you today but all could not avail,so all what i requires from you first thing tomorrow is that i have plan to be going back to Nigeria tomorrow because my state of health is not comfortable and conducive for me as a result of the fact that the bench at the stores is now my bed of sleep each night ever since i came to PARAKOU.

I want you to check/pick me up yourself not your driver again because am well convice beyond reasonable doubt that your driver has a hand in the inability of me meeting you.

So i am still passing a night at the same junction not far away from the same cafe i told you to pick me up,so first thing tomorrow morning probably before 7:00AM i want you to driver straight to the cyber cafe yourself to pick me up i will be waiting to meet you ok.

Sir,please try all possible best to ensures you get here in time as stated by me so to enables me collect my consignment and get back straight to Nigeria due to my phone is not with me and my family by now will be worried that they have not heard from me since the past days now.

I will be waiting to meet you as scheduled in the morning,and acknoldege the receipt of my mail in regards to see you soon.

Thanks and Good night.
Alex Kelvin.

He then appeals to me:

Quote:

Dear Sir

i want you to know that your office here in Benin is fraustrating me and now am confuse because this is almost what happens in Ghana that made me left untill some one came to retrieve my package.

i have been in the street for the past 4 days without a bath and paste my mouth all because i want to collect my parcel so all what am saying now is for you to call or email Mr.Salami to get in touch me with today because if i cannot get the parcel today then there is no need of wasten my time here in PARAKOU because for the past 4 days now i sleep in the street ,which i dont have anybody to stay with so i demand an explaination for this whole mess and delay

Sir,what is going on i need salami phone number now or his office addres here in parakou because this was the reason i refuse early to travel down to benin and my mission to get my package today must been accomplish.

Acknoledge the receipt of this mail asap
Regards
Alex

Acknowledge it I do:

Quote:

Dear Alex,

I can only apologise. I e.mailed AllStar a few hours ago and BELOW is the reply. THE NEWS IS GOOD!

I will reply again as soon as I have the booking from Robins. He is going to put a rocket under Salami in the morning.

This time tomorrow, you will be in a taxi on your way home! I will expect my loan by end of this week.

Yours in God,

Monsignor

From: [email protected]
Sent: 17 October 2011 15:12
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: TO MR ED ROBINS – FROM MONSIGNOR XXXXXXX; ALLSTAR PARAKOU

Dear Sir,

I thank you for your email. I am very surprised to learn that the receiver has not yet picked up his package. I am unable to speak with Mr. Salami today as it is his rest day.

Getting through to any AllStar airport office is always difficult as the staffs are forbidden by national aviation authorities to use cell phones airside, as the signals from these devices can interfere with airplane radio and radar. Therefore, there is one landline in each office but if the staffs are busy in depots they will not hear it ringing. This is why AllStar uses gmail.

I eventually managed to speak with the Deputy, Mr. Mbayo and he told me that Mr. Salami is dealing with it personally. Mr. Salami is returning to work tomorrow and I have left a message for him to sort this out tomorrow. I will also ring Mr. Salami personally in the morning.

I ASSURE YOU THAT THIS WILL BE RESOLVED IN THE MORNING. I WILL PERSONALLY COMMAND MR. SALAMI TO MEET THE RECEIVER AT THE AIRPORT FRONT ENTRANCE. THERE WILL BE NO VARIABLE. IT IS ABSOLUTELY DEFINITE.

Meanwhile, please pass my apologies to Mr. Kelvin. I will have our admin office book him a hotel for tonight. It may take a few hours to arrange and I will e.mail you personally in a few hours or so with his booking details. This will be on AllStar. I will also instruct Mr Salami to apologize for this mess. In over 12 years with the company, I have NEVER known anything like it.

Best regards,

Ed. Robins
Head of AllStar Customer Service

And finally, a few hours later at 2138 hrs local, I send him this. Hope the Cyber Cafe is still open...

Quote:

Dear Alex,

This just in from Mr Robins.

Yours in God,

Monsignor

From: [email protected]
Sent: 17 October 2011 21:12
To:[email protected]
Subject: Re: Re: TO MR ED ROBINS – FROM MONSIGNOR; ALLSTAR PARAKOU

Dear Sir,

Our admin office has just phoned me to confirm that a room has been booked for Mr. Kelvin tonight. It is at Hote1 xxxxxxxxx. Tell Mr. Kelvin to walk South out of the town and he will find it on the main road.

I have spoken with Mr. Salami at his home and commanded him to meet Mr. Kelvin tomorrow afternoon outside the airport main entrance at 1500 hrs sharp. He will bring with him the package and the money from the abortive Ghana trip. There will be no problems. It really is very simple. It will also allow Mr. Kelvin a well-deserved lie-in tomorrow morning.

Best regards,

Ed. Robins
Head of AllStar Customer Service

Well, let’s see tomorrow how Our Man in Parakou enjoyed his night’s rest.

PS: Thanks all for your comments. I much appreciate your encouragement.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 14 Oct 2011 Posts: 18

slaphappy said "What can he do now? Hopefully suffer some more. Resorting to male prostitution is also a good option for him."

Ha ha ha! You guys are diabolical. Truly one of the funniest threads I've read in a long time. Smile

I'm surprised that the lads go back to their miserable profession after a run-around like this one. Smile

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 28 Sep 2010 Posts: 923

I look forward to the updates on this Safari! Keep up the good work because this is absolutely epic!

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 12:59 pm

Terrific! Magnifique! Wunderbar! Bravo! ยอดเยี่ยม!

Introducing the sleazy driver so the Lad still believes in your main character was a great touch.

I hope you can keep him going long enough so that his torn trousers collapse totally and he has to limp back to Naija with his hinder hanging out.... Laughing

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 14 Oct 2011 Posts: 18

Just took a look at Parakou on Google Maps. That's a real shithole if I ever saw one. Half the roofs in the city look like they are rusting away. There are some pointers marking banks in the city, if you think that your lad would want to visit one of those instead of the airport ... Wink

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 10:20 pm

Day 5 Update; Streded, Starving, Stinking, and now Seriously P*ss*d Off:

Lad spends yet another miserable night on a bench in a hostile city in a strange third world country. In the morning, to bring him some cheer, I forward him this e.mail ‘from AllStar Customer Support’:

Quote:

Dear Sir,

Our admin office has just phoned me to confirm that a room has been booked for Mr. Kelvin tonight. It is at Hotel xxxxxxxxxxx. Tell Mr. Kelvin to walk South out of the town and he will find it on the main road (he won’t, it’s actually East. He should get mugged again, going that way).

I have spoken with Mr. Salami at his home and commanded him to meet Mr. Kelvin tomorrow afternoon outside the airport main entrance at 1500 hrs sharp. He will bring with him the package and the money from the abortive Ghana trip (expenses on this Lad’s recent AllStar safari to Accra). There will be no problems (like **** there won’t). It really is very simple. It will also allow Mr. Kelvin a well-deserved lie-in tomorrow morning (on his bench).

Best regards,

Ed. Robins
Head of AllStar Customer Service

The Lad is relieved:

Quote:

Mr.Monsignor

Thanks for your mail...........................Today once it is 3:00pm this afternoon i will be in the airport main gate to be waiting for Mr.Salami and aslo i hereby inform you to also email Mr.Salami to ensures with all possible best to see that he pick me up at 1500hr at the main entrance gate ok.

Thanks for your understanding.
Mr.Alex

Unfortunately, Salami is spaced out on cannabis again, so he sends his Deputy Mr Mbayo (who knows that Alex Kelvin is a 419 Scammer and wants a cut of the £1000 GBP to keep his mouth shut). Our Lad waits outside the airport again for an hour or 2 of scorching heat and mediocrity and eventually drags his filthy body (he must look like Ben Gunn by now) back to the Cyber Cafe, to get this from Mbayo:

Quote:

guyman,salmi sen mi wid van o.k but i now in cyber uda side town. u wan moni den u giv me price. udawise i sit in bar an drink beer 4 2 hour den i go bak dey offic an tell salami i no fin u agin.

u b 2 greedy kelvin,u no wan share wid me. check very well fool- u no i no u guyman. i no u 419 from day 1. o.k. idiot mugu like u.

so wat u do? u wan stay like raggi hungri monkey in street or u deal wid me? don ask meet mi b4 price, u no fool mi.

i tell u if u wan i can get u on flight evry mornin. tak 3-4 hr 2 abuja,

ow much u pay mi?

Mbayo

Our Lad ignores this and angrily (he must be seething now) forwards it to Mbayo’s boss, Salami (in CAPITALS):

Quote:

Mr.Salami
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOUR DRIVER MR.Mbayo IS PLAYING A GAME WITH ME OK?BECAUSE HE TOLD ME VIA EMAIL THAT HE SAW ME BUT NEVER WANTS TO MEET ME AND YOU QUITE KNOW WELL THAT SINCE A CAME BACK HERE I HAVE NO PLACE I STAY SO WHY ARE YOU FRAUSTRATING ME?

MR.ROBINS AS YOU TO LOOK FOR ME AND NOT YOUR DRIVER OK?SO I WAITED FOR MORE THAN 2 HOURS AT THE AIPORT GATE BUT I DID NOT RECOGNIZE HIM SO WHAT IS THE PROBLEM.

SEACR FOR ME YOURSELF OK

AWAIT YOUR URGENT RESPONSE NOW.

Salami replies with an offer of more hotel accommodation and a meet in the morning:

Quote:

Sir, mbayo loyal deputy ere for few yaer no and no problem. He back abt 2000 hrs and i spk wth im then. Allstar confirm hotle rebook for you, same hotel but late bookin and room no reday til 2100 hrs. food included but not phone or paper.

I will bring cash myself to hotel in mornin at 1100 hrs sharp. Mbayo disciplin if he mess up again (he drink beer too much sumtime)

Heartily,
Pierre
Depot Manager
AllStar Benin Mail Hub

But Lad wants his parcel now (1830 hrs already? Doesn’t time fly?)

Quote:

sir am right at the airport gate and ensures you delievered the parcel to me now because even if it took me night journey am ready to get out from this country

am really tired been here ok

However, after 4 hours of being ignored (I went out) this idiot evidently still believes that a paid-for hotel room awaits him and that a collection will happen....but always the next day:

Quote:

ON MY WAY TO HOTEL XXXXXXXXX NOW AND TOMORROW BY 1100 TOMORROW MORNING I WILL BE WAITING TO MEET YOU OK

THANKS AND AM ON MY WAY NOW
ALEX KELVIN

Let’s see how he is in the morning, having been ejected from the same hotel for the second night Sad

PS: ^^^ Thanks for recent comments. Much appreciated.

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 10:28 pm

Seriously, this just gets better every day. I am absolutely loving how you're playing this lad like a violin. He's in this over his head and simply doesn't realize it. A thing of beauty.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 15 Oct 2011 Posts: 47

Hmm.. maybe you should go down and meet with him in the morning. Of course, it wouldn't be your fault if someone else by the name of lad stayed in his hotel room last night and collected the money from you? Twisted Evil

I sure hope he does gets mugged. Maybe they strip him a bit more of his wardrobe tonight!

Btw, I wonder how he's still paying for internet time? He's lied once before about spending all him money..hmmm

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2003 Posts: 4747

"WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOUR DRIVER MR.waMb@yo IS PLAYING A GAME WITH ME OK?"

Well this guy is living the high life, the excitement of a vacationing, camping and now he is playing some sort of game with your driver.

Can’t he get away from the X box long enough to take care of business?

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 1:08 am

Epic bait The Monsignor , Love it

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 1:27 am

This is a masterpiece Monsignor Very Happy

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jun 2011 Posts: 1066

Ah yes. Stredded, starving, and totally screwed. Just the way a lad should be. Bait on my friend. Smile

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 2:54 am

If the incompetence at the Parakou facility can't be resolved, maybe the Monsignor could pull some strings (paying all the additional costs, of course) and have the shipment transfered to the AllSt@r offices in Niamey (Niger), Lome (Togo), or Sokoto/Kano/Abuja (Nigeria)?

He's still got enough money for the cafe, so he's either lied about how much he had with him or he's picked up a westy from his friends/family. I'm assuming he's a Lagos lad? If so, you may be able to convince him to get to Sokoto/Kano/Abuja. All are further away from Lagos than Parakou, but the fact that they are in Nigeria may be appealing enough to get him to move. Then he's doubly screwed.

(BTW, you are doing a wonderful job on this lad without anyone's input, just thought I'd throw that out there!)

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 4:02 am

This is just brilliant. The poor bastard has the makings of another Adamu.

Perhaps the next time you book a hotel room for him, he should be informed that he doesn't need to check in at the front desk. Just give him a random floor and room number and tell him it will be left open for him. However, the door to that particular room gets stuck a lot, so if he's having trouble opening it all he needs to do is keep trying to force it open as hard as he can.

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 4:04 am

Marvelous, TM.

There is something about a lad on safari and stredded somewhere in Dante's sixth ring. Twigging and moving on to another victim just isn't an option, is it? Twisted Evil

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 14 Oct 2011 Posts: 18

This thread gets better and better! He's stuck worse than a fly in a web, because he can't even see the web. Very Happy

Bravo!

Acoustic fidelity said "Of course, it wouldn't be your fault if someone else by the name of lad stayed in his hotel room last night and collected the money from you?"

That could be an interesting twist. I wonder how mad your lad would get if S@lami's corrupt lackey organised one of his friends to go collect the money on his behalf? Laughing

It might be interesting to see if your mugu hangs around to witness the untangling of the web, only to get shunted someplace else by rob1ns.

Epic.

bow_down

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Posts: 1301

I'm just going to echo everyone elses sentiments. Epic and b****y marvelous that this lad is having such a miserable time. Also, all done single handed so bravo.

The idea of the corrupt drivers friend staying in the hotel and picking up the money might just drive the lad apoleptic - so far he has remained pretty calm bearing in mind his circumstances. However while he's calm he's also well hooked. Looking forward to reading today's activities.

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 7:52 am

^^^ Thanks, all for the most encouraging and generous comments. Yes, I reckon he either lied about how much cash he had left, or he got a payment from back home (Edo State), or the Parakou Igbo Chief helped him. I'm glad, as otherwise, no e.mail contact and no fun.

Thanks also, for the suggestions on strategy. It's now 0850 hrs local, so let's see how he is this morning.

Another update later. Enjoy.

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 8:27 am

Brilliant work, I love this to bits Very Happy

here · Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 8:59 am

been lurking this thread & enjoying
IMHO, simply world class baiting

Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 9:03 am

astounding work Monsignor, I am very much looking forward to the next installment of true lad misery.

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