The Sacred Poopsock

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Quote:

FROM THE DESK OF ENGR. ABBA
[email protected]
MINISTRY OF PETROLEUM
LAGOS NIGERIA.
DEAR SIR,

WE ARE SENDING THIS LETTER TO YOU BASED ON INFORMATION
GATHERED FROM THE FOREIGN TRADE OFFICE OF THE NIGERIAN
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY. WE BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD
BE IN A POSITION TO HELP US IN OUR BID TO
TRANSFER THE SUM OF FORTY-ONE MILLION,FIVE HUNDRED
THOUSAND DOLLARS ($41.5M USD) INTO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT.
WE ARE MEMBERS OF THE SPECIAL COMMITTEE FOR BUDGET AND
PLANNING IN THE MINISTRY OF PETROLEUM. WE ARE
PRINCIPALLY CONCERNED WITH CONTRACT APPRAISALS AND
APPROVAL OF CONTRACTS IN ORDER OF PRIORITIES AS
REGARDS CAPITAL PROJECT OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF
NIGERIA. WITH OUR POSITIONS, WE HAVE SUCCESSFULLY
SECURED FOR OURSELVES THE SUM OF FORTY-ONE MILLION,
FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATE DOLLARS(US$41.5M).
THIS AMOUNT WAS ACCUMULATED THROUGH UNDECLARED WINFALL
FROM SALES OF CRUDE OIL DURING THE RECENT WAR AGAINST S
ADAM HESSEIN AND HIS ADMINISTRATION.

WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU IS TO PROVIDE A SAFE ACCOUNT
INTO WHICH THE FUNDS WILL BE TRANSFERRED SINCE
GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS ARE NOT ALLOWED BY OUR LAWS TO
OPERATE FOREIGN ACCOUNT. IT HAS BEEN AGREED THAT THE
OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT WILL BE COMPENSATED WITH US$8.3
MILLION OF THE REMITTED FUNDS, WE KEEP
US$31.125MILLION WHILE US$2.075MILLION WILL BE SET
ASIDE TO OFFSET EXPENSES AND PAY THE NECESSARY TAXES.
IT MAY INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT TWO YEARS AGO A
SIMILAR TRANSACTION WAS CARRIED OUT WITH ONE MR.
PATRICE MILLER, THE PRESIDENT OF CRAINE INTERNATIONAL
TRADING CORPORATION AT NUMBER 135, EAST 57TH STREET,
28TH FLOOR, NEW YORK 10022 WITH TELEPHONE
(212)308-7788 AND TELEX NUMBER 6731689, AFTER THE
AGREEMENT BETWEEN BOTH PARTNERS IN WHICH HE WAS TO
TAKE 25% THE MONEY WAS DULY TRANSFERRED INTO HIS
ACCOUNT ONLY TO BE DISAPPOINTED ON OUR ARRIVAL IN NEW
YORK AS WE WERE RELIABLY INFORMED THAT MR. PATRICK
MILLER WAS NO LONGER ON THAT ADDRESS WHILE HIS
TELEPHONE AND TELEX NUMBERS HAVE BEEN REALLOCATED TO
SOMEBODY ELSE, THAT IS HOW WE LOST US$27.5M TO MR
PATRICE MILLER.

THIS TIME AROUND WE NEED A MORE RELIABLE
AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON OR A REPUTABLE COMPANY TO DO BUSINESS
WITH HENCE THIS LETTER TO YOU, SO IF YOU CAN PROVE YOURSELF TO
BE TRUSTED AND INTERESTED IN THIS DEAL THEN WE ARE PREPARED TO
DO BUSINESS WITH YOU.
WHAT WE WANT FROM YOU IS THE ASSURANCE THAT YOU WILL
LET US HAVE OUR SHARE WHEN THIS AMOUNT OF US$41.5M IS
TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.
IF THIS PROPOSAL SATISFIES YOU, PLEASE CONTACT ME
STRICTLY THROUGH MY E-MAIL STATED ABOVE SO WE CAN
ADVICE YOU ON THE MODALITIES OF THE TRANSACTION. ALL
MODALITIES OF THE TRANSFER HAVE BEEN WORKED OUT AND
ONCE STARTED WILL NOT TAKE MORE THAN 14 WORKING DAYS
WITH THE ABSOLUTE SUPPORT OF ALL CONCERNED. THIS
TRANSACTION IS 100% SAFE.
PLEASE TREAT AS URGENT AND VERY CONFIDENTIAL. GOD BE
WITH YOU AS I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR REPLY.

BEST REGARDS.
ENGR.ABBAS SANNI

For some odd reason this one just sparked me to go with it.... I have never done this so I am sure it looks weak to you guys.

Quote:

Hello ENGR.ABBAS SANNI,

I currently hold about $324,000 in my main account and the FDIC will not insure much more than that amount. So, how would you propose I protect this money if we were to do this type of transaction?

He, of course got a woody...

Quote:

A very good day to you, i got your mail this morning and i am very pleased that we can rub minds and make money.

The funds are now in London and this funds are real whay is delaying the release of this funds is for me tosecure a trust worthy foreign contractor that will stand as the beneficiary of the norminated account in London.

I want you to promise me that you wont,t sit on this funds when it is finally paid into your account.

I will like to have the following informations.

1; your real name

2; your contact address

3; your fax and telephone number for easy communication

When iget this informations iwill contact my lawyer to process the necessaty documents that will enable you clear this funds with ease

Iawait your urgent response

Regards

Enger ABBAS SANNI

I waited a couple days and then this came in...

Quote:

Dear,justin,
How do you do, i hope you are having a nice time.I was waithing for you to send me those informations i asked from you. I have already discussed with my colleuges and we came to a con clusion to make you the foreign contractor.

MR justin, i want to take you as a fine gentleman and right now what we need is trust for us including you to conclude ths transaction. Already most of the paper works are being processed ,i want to let you know we are members of the special committe for budget and planning in the ministry of petroleum. We are principally concerned with contracts appraisals and approval of contracts.

I want you to send those informations to me so that our documents should be fowarded for the approval by the ministry.

Note that this funds can only be clamied by a foreigner

REGARDS
ENGER; ABBAS SANNI

So, I probably made a newbie mistake and went in hard...

Quote:

Hello ENGER; ABBAS SANNI,

I do apologize for my delay in answering your email(s). I am very happy you have decided to trust me with your money. As I am sure you understand, I have to be absolutely sure we are all working in a professional manner.

In the United States, it is customary for the person approaching with a business proposal to give a "show of good faith". Based on your superior grasp of American business knowledge, I am sure you were already aware of this custom. Before I can go any further with our business transaction, as a "show of good faith", I require something from your end.

My family is of American Indian origin, we hail from a tribe known as the Black Foot tribe. This tribe was most famous for "scalping" anyone that would dishonor their family or land.

One of the lesser known customs of my American Indian heritage is known as the "oshoto w�-iiti�", which loosely translated in English is "poopsock". This was a long bag, usually made of animal leather. This bag was then filled with the feces of the person attempting business or trade, as well as anyone in the family of that person. In American Indian custom, the feces of a human was thought to hold parts of that persons soul. By trading a oshoto w�-iiti� to the intended partner, they were giving parts of their soul and therefore they were to be trusted.

I understand you can't mail me one of these sacred items, but it would go a long way to start our relationship on a good foot if you would create the oshoto w�-iiti� (using a cotton sock, instead of leather will work in this case) and then take a picture of yourself holding the sock with a sign saying "Mine and my family present you with our sacred "poopsock"." Please be sure I can verify it is filled with the proper feces. I ask you to write the translated version, as the phrase in American Indian is very sacred to my people and should only be written or spoken by one from the Black Foot Tribe.

Once you have shown your trustworthyness and trust in our transaction we can start moving this forward.

Thank you in advance, and I look forward to our future transaction. In the words of my people... "Nea'e�e"

Let me know if you want any more of this one... Although it was probably a very weak start and the conversation eventually slowed, I had a blast! ;p

Everyone should do this... Very Happy

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 3:15 am

HAHAH poopsock, eh? Nice!
Don't be surprised if he doesn't reply. Sometimes it takes a bunch of times before one of these jackasses will bite.
Anyway, are you really a Blackfoot? Hheh

Posted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 10:23 am

Hey that was pretty funny Laughing

poopsock! I'm sure that got his head spinning. Hey you never know, you might open your mail box one day and find that trophy.

Sometimes I don't hear from my lads for days after I say something so outrageous, then poof, there they are! Wait another day or two and hit him up again for the poopsock, but finish off the mail by reminding him of how eager you are to get the money transferred as soon as possible. His greed will get him hooked again! Good Luck!

Read Ana L. Felcher v. Mary Benson here! · Master of Master Baiters Joined: 01 Apr 2004 Posts: 751

HA HA HA HA! The traditional poopsock! Now that is brilliant. You've got to get that trophy! Laughing

Running from the law Joined: 21 Sep 2009 Posts: 310

That was not newbish at all. that was great.

In baiting, there is no real modality. Just go with what you feel comfortable with.

And that you did.