Prince Abonime

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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 9:28 am

I hope I can do this right.

I responded to the usual scam letter, promising me millions blah...blah..

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My Dear Prince Abonime & Family

It is with much confusion that your e-mail came to my
attention. As serving administrator for the foundation,
first of all allow me to bestow our blessings upon you and
your family.

It is with much interest that I read your proposal. As
you are probably aware the Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
was first set up in 1972 in order to donate resources and
monetary aid to the many starving children of the world.
As of last year, our foundation has managed to raise and
then donate just over $45,000,000 to deserving charities.

Father Benny Dictus first saw the plight of the starving
children whilst on Missionary duty in Ethiopia. It was upon
his return that he contacted our good father in Rome, who
gave him the go ahead to set up the foundation. Unfortunately
shortly afterwards he sadly passed away, and never saw the
full fruitation of his dream. It is to this sad end that the
Sisterhood took a vow of silence in his honour.

Although chiefly a charitable organization and mainly
concerned with redistribution of funds, the offer that
you have proposed, has let us say, �Peeked our interest.�

Before we can enter into the matter and give your proposal
serious consideration. We would however require certain
assurances from you that should our foundation be successful
in assisting in the release of this money, that a small percentage
be put aside in order to set up a trust fund for the children.

Having said that� I am sure that you are a man of sincere
integrity. I shall look forward to your reply on this delicate
matter. May God be with you? (Amen)

Sister Teresia.

The above was sent in response to the usual letter requiring
the transfer of funds. Here was his reply.

Quote:

Dear Sister Teresia,

Thanks for your response and interest to help me and my
family. Below are the roles I would want you to play in this
transaction as regards your intended help to me and my
family.

You are hereby required to provide:
1. your full names
2. your contact address or mailing address
3. your marrital status
4. core job
5. copy of your international passport or drivers lisence.

With these informations, our attorney would proceed to
secure all the legal/vital documents all in your name/favor
to legally/officially make you assume the status of the
beneficiary to the money which is presently deposited
with a finance firm in Europe.

Once these documents are secured in your favor, our
attorney would forward them to the finance firm for them
to invite you to there office for the collection of the money.

Please do note that this money is the only asset left behind
for us by my late father (King Solomon Abonime) [Not THE King Solomon?] so do not betray us. Your sincerity and honesty
is what we want you to assure us.

We would reward you with a reseanable percentage
from the total sum. And also you would help us to go
into investment in your country as we intend to relocate
to your country for our dear safety as our community
leaders and Governments are after us and our proparties.
I wait to hear from you as soon as possible.

Regards,
Prince Abonime & Family.

Time to test� the waters.

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My Dear Prince Abonime & Family

First let me bestow a blessing upon yourself and family
I hope this letter finds you in good health. If not then
that is just too bad, because since reading your letter
it has pricked my conscience to see that you get what
you truly deserve.

Before I can proceed with this secret transaction, I
would like to know more about you. Call it an old
woman�s curiosity if you like, but I really do have
to be careful with whom I am dealing. Only last
week Sister Incontinent was caught in a rather
compromising position with a Muff Diver from
our local market. It caused quite a commotion
when she returned to the convent smiling and
stinking of fish.

It is now common policy that discretion be exercised
with any future transactions outside the convent. To
this end I will need a brief family rundown of your activities
to date. If at all possible maybe even a family photograph,
then I can certify that you are indeed a person of pure
refinement and integrity, as I�m sure you are.

I would also require your assurance that this matter be
kept strictly between us. Please forward the documentation
from your attorney, plus your sworn affidavit that this matter
will be treated with all of your integrity, which shouldn�t be
too much.

I shall await your reply. In the meantime I shall be away
for the rest of the afternoon gusset sniffing at the local fete.
God bless you my son for your kind consideration in this
matter, and I look forward to receiving your photograph.

Yours Sincerely

Sister Teresia

And here�s his reply�

Quote:

Dearest Sister Teresia Green,
Thanks for your kind understanding. due to our present
predicament, I cannot give you my family picture or my
personal picture without first consulting our attorney.
For your information, since the death of my late father
who was the ruling king of our community (Ogoni Kingdom),
they entire community and the Government has been after
us, they have taken all that belongs to us, we are left with
nothing except the money that my father deposited with
the finance firm in Amsterdam. So we are very careful
towarded send out any of our private informations.
However, our attorney would handle everything legally
on our behalf okay.

Please let me have the required informations to enable
our attorney can proceed to secure all the legal documentations.
in your name/favor. after this you would be invited by the
finance firm in Amsterdam for the collection of the money.

We would be willing to offer you 20% of the total sum for
your kind assistance which would be used for charity as
you indicated.I have to let you know that your status as

So for now, I want you to understand our predicament and
also keep the transaction confidential.

I wait to hear from you ASAP.

Regards,
Prince Abonime & Family.

Ok�so he won�t play ball. Time for a quick slap!

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My Dear Prince Abonime & Family

It is with deep regret that you cannot provide me with proof
of your identity. I fully understand the trial and tribulations
that your family have been put through these past few
months and our blessings reach out to you.

I am afraid that without some form of trust between us
I will no longer be able to assist you or your family as
promised with this transaction. I hope you can appreciate
our view on this. I was willing to supply you with highly
sensitive information, but the lack of trust on your part
has left me no option but to donate our resources to
someone who is more disposed.

It is a great pity that such a trivial thing should thwart our
attempts at helping you and your family, but I am sure you
know what is best.

Many thanks for informing me that you wish to terminate
our agreement and no longer require our assistance.

God bless you my son.

Yours sincerely
Sister Teresia

The prince didn�t seem to like that�so he sets his attorney
on to me.

Quote:

Attention: Teresia Green,

I am Barrister Kenneth Nkwocha, my client prince
Abonime has informed me about you interest to assist
him and his mother and two younger sisters to
relocate to your country and also help them exterblish
[This is really good spelling�keep it up Ken]
an investment with the funds they have, which is
presently deposited in a finance firm in Europe.
In line with this, I have attached to this email copy
of my international passport and my certificate of
call to bar as a recorgnised attorney here in Ogoni
River State. I do this to make you know that my
clients have all the legal back ups to assure you that
the this transaction is 100% risk free and legal.
I would require you to forward to me the following
informations (1. your full names,2. your contact
address,3. core job, 4. marrital status, 5. and any
form of identification) to enable me secure an
affidavit of oat [ Perhaps he�s got a horse?] stating that
you are the beneficiary to
the said funds, this would make it easy for the
finance firm to recorgnise you and also invite you for
the collection of the money on behalf of my clients.
I wait to hear from you as to proceed immediately.
Regards,
Kenneth Nkwocha Esq.

He attaches the following phoney passport�

Then I rattle his chains a bit�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My dear Barrister Kenneth

Thank you for taking the time to write, but I am afraid
that there has been a misunderstanding.
Prince Abonime has made it quite clear to me that he no
longer requires my assistance.

Being head administrator here at the foundation, I have
to account for millions of dollars that are ready to be redistributed
to the needy children of the world. This puts me in a rather delicate situation as you can appreciate.

I requested to your client Prince Abonime, that I would need
a photograph to put on my desk in order to pray for guidance
in this matter, or else I could not proceed with the transfer of
funds. He politely refused my request. So I took his refusal to
mean that he no longer required my help with this important
matter

I was and still am willing to help with this transaction and any
costs that it may incur. But I hope you realise that a certain
amount of trust is needed on your client�s part. As soon as I
receive visual conformation that he truly exists, then I shall
forward the necessary paperwork.

God bless you my child

Sister Teresia.

I thought I had blown it, but then this came a week later.

Quote:

Dearest Sister Teresia,

Thanks for your interest to assist me and my family. Our
attorney after reading hearing from you advised me to
forward two copies of my photo's to you as requested. So
attached to this email are my photos for you kind viewing.
Please go ahead and furnish me with the required informations
to enable our attorney proceed immediately. I wait to hear
from you ASAP.

Regards,
Prince Abonime & Family

Attached Photo�s

Of course I had to thank him�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My Dear, Prince Abonime.

It was with much rejoicing that I received your letter and
beautiful photographs. My thanks and prayers go out to
you. I shall forward the necessary paperwork to Barrister Kenneth immediately, as I feel that a great deal of time has already
been wasted.

It is just unfortunate that we have to deal with Lawyers and
Barristers; they really do tend to slow things down
somewhat. Although quite an old woman, I still like
things to move along quickly. Some of the younger
girls here at the convent school have even remarked
well humouredly, that for an old girl I am quite fast and
racy for a sister of my age.

I shall dispatch the paperwork immediately.

The Lord is with you my son.

Sister Teresia.

I then get in touch with Barrister Kenneth�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My dear Barrister Kenneth

I have just received comforting news from Prince Abonime.
He has forwarded his photograph and now I feel blessed
that we can continue this transaction without further delay.

I quote� �Et mundi coitious interupti� which as your aware
means �Let there be no further interruptions�

Now the information you require:

Sister Teresia Fellatio Green

Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
St Purgatory Convent
Whimple Grove
Sussex S41 GT9

Chief Administrator�World Children�s Relief

Single (but married to our Saviour Jesus)

Identity Card Attached.

I hope that this is the information that you require. The
Prince and I would appreciate a speedy response. Please
acknowledge receipt of above.

May the Lord be with you my son.

Sister Teresia

And send this attachment�

I then receive this from Barrister Kenneth�perhaps I
shouldn�t have told him my middle name?

Quote:

Attention: Sister Teresia Fellatio Green,

This is to acknowledge the reciept of the required informations.
I have so far secured some of the vital/legal documents in your name/favor. Hopefully, by Monday next week, everything will
be ready and I will forward them to the finance firm in Europe
for onward release of the funds to you.
However, I would require to have your direct telephone
number for easy communication between you ad the
finance firm.
Have a wonderful weekend and be rest assured that I
will do everything in my capacity to speed up this transaction.

Yours Faithfully,
Barrister Kenneth Nkwocha.
234-8037231680

So I quickly reply�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

Dear Brother Kenneth.

It is with great delight that I received your letter. I am so
worried about the good Prince and his family and feel that
it is up to the two of us to assist them as quickly as possible.

Although saying this I have been left with a small dilemma.
I am sure that the Prince has already informed you that
the Sisterhood is a silent order and that telephones here
at the convent have been removed. To alleviate this
problem, the Bishop however in his Holy wisdom has i
nstalled a voice messenger.

The only problem is that messages of a private nature
are forbidden. I would hate for his Holiness to put the
mockers on this transaction, should he by any chance
overhear any messages that you or your associates leave.

The only way around this delicate matter would be if the
Bishop was led to believe that you were in fact a charity
organisation that wishes to donate funds to the foundation.
To this end if you use the words� �Give me Fellatio� then
he will probably ignore all messages and instruct me to
deal with it.

I know it probably goes against everything you believe to
tell lies like this, but as it is only a small one and for the
sake of the Prince, not to mention the thousands of children
that will benefit from our subterfuge. I feel that the Lord
would only smile down upon us in his infinite mercy.

The number you require is�1860-371-3571

May the Blessings of the Lord be with you my son.

Sister Teresia

Then the Prince writes�

Quote:

Dearest Sister Teresia Green,

Greetings from me and my family. Thanks for your kind
guesture towards me and my family. Please do ensure
that the attorney handles everything as fast as possible.
I know with more preasure from you, he would definitely
get things finalized as soon as possible, since we have
wested a great deal of time already. Have a nice weekend
and my the be of the Lord be with you and the entire
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation.

Regards,
Prince Abonime & Family.

Without delay Barrister Kenneth gets in touch..

Quote:

Attention: Sister Teresia Green,

This is to notify you that the finance firm in Europe has
acknowledged the receipt of the legal/vital documents
which has your name as the beneficiary of the funds
However, they have also officially recorgnized you as the
beneficiary of the funds.

They require the sum of $6,500 as activate fee since the
account has been domant for more than 2years. Once the
account is activated, the finance firm will then contact you to
request for an account where you want the money to be
transfered to.

Send this money to me immediately through wesern union
[Oh dear! I don�t think I�ll be able to find one of those.]
money transfer, to enable me forward it to the finance firm
as soon as possible.

Here is the name and address to send the money to:
Name: KENNETH NKWOCHA KELECHA
Address: 18 AWOLOWO ROAD LAGOS NIGERIA.
Text Question: What word?
Answer: Charity.

Send the payment informations to me once you make the
payment to enable me finalize everything with the finance
firm as soon as possible.

Yours Faithfully,
Barr. Kenneth Nkwocha.

N/B: CALL ME IF NEED BE.

I decided to ignore his letter for a while� The Prince is the
first to get worried�

Quote:

Dearest Sister Teresia,
Please do get back to me so I would know the progress so
far between you and the attorney. I was at the attorneys
office today and he told me that he has not heard from you
after his last email informing you about the charges that the
finance firm needs from you to activate the domant account
to be able to carry out the transfer of the money to your
account. Please do get back to me ASAP.
Regards,
Prince Abonime & Family.

I wait awhile before replying�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My Dear Prince Abonime & Family

I hope this letter finds you in good health. I and the sisters
here at the convent continue in our prayers for you and your
family.

I am at a loss for words and quite mystified at your last letter.
I have not received any communication from Barrister Kenneth
for over a week now, especially one about Charges from a
finance firm.

What charges would these be? Please let me know what is
happening as soon as possible.

I shall be away this weekend for a Sabbatical and Rectum
mass in honour of the Late Bishop who sadly passed away
yesterday due to engorged haemorrhoids. So please make
haste my dear brother and contact me immediately should
you find out any information.

Yours in Spirit

Sister Teresia

The prince nearly wets himself�

Quote:

Dearest Sister Teresia,
I was with the attorney this morning to inform him about
the situation at hand. He promised to resend the message
to you and also call you on phone today.
However, he made me to understand that the finance firm
needs the sum of $6,500 as ACTIVATION OF ACCOUNT FEE.
This is due to the fact that the account which the money was
deposited has been domant for close to two years now.
Sister, please assist us with this so that the transaction would
proceed. At the moment we do not have any money at hand
so please see what you can do. We promise to payback once the transaction is finalized and you have the funds in your custody.
Sister, please lets settle this before you go for your Sabatical.
I am waiting to hear from you as soon as possible.
Regards,
Prince Abonime & Family.

I then receive a voice mail from Barrister Kenneth saying�
�Felletio�Felletio�Give me Fellatio� before he hung up. This
was followed by his second reminder�

Quote:

Attention: Sister Teresa Green,
I am suprised to hear from Prince Abonime this morning
that you have not heard a word from me for a week now.
Well Below is a cope of the email I sent to you on Monday,
12 Jul 2004 at 11:35:45 +0100.

The rest of the letter we have already seen. I now try a
new ploy to see if I can take his mind off the $6,500
activation fee�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

Ref: Codeword�Give me Felletio.

Dear Brother Kenneth.

I hope this letter finds you in good health my brother. I
have received your letter and have acted upon it without
further delay.

It is of paramount importance brother that you read this
letter carefully. As you are probably aware, due to my
position it will be impossible for me to raise the $6,500
personally. However I have approached the new Bishop
who only took over office this morning after the untimely
death of his predecessor the late Bishop Comefast, informing
him that I will require a release of funds from the new projects
and building accounts.

I have submitted the paperwork and the immediate release
of $82,000 has been approved upon receipt of an invoice
from the contractors. I explained that we needed the money
urgently to off set labour charges on the new building project.

I realise that $82,000 is over ten times the amount you
requested, but if I had submitted a request for a smaller
amount he would have become suspicious. Besides I am
sure that other expenses; such as your fee for example,
will crop up sooner or later. Once all the legal expenses
are out of the way, the remainder of the $82,000 can be
given to the good prince to tide him and his family over
until the full transfer is complete.

I therefore urge you brother to assist me with this subterfuge
as it is the only way the monies can be released. I have
attached an invoice for you to sign and fill in the particulars.
Please give this your most urgent attention as the good prince is depending upon us both to help his family regain their former glory.

I shall pray for us all my dear brother Kenneth�God bless (Amen)

Sister Teresia.

I send him a blank invoice to fill out... which he returns by fax...

I also receive two phone messages telling me to empty my e-mail folders. I then inform the Prince how things are progressing�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My Dear Prince Abonime & Family

Blessings to you this day my son.

I have received conformation from Barrister Kenneth reference
the activation fees and all is well. It would take a little too long
to explain all that has transpired between us, but I�m sure that
he can fill you in.

My heart is still with you and your dear family, and rest
assured I will do all in my power to right the wrong that
has befallen you. You really can trust me my son to see
that you get that which you so rightfully deserve.

As I informed you in my last letter, I shall be away for a
few days due to the untimely death of Bishop Comefast.
But rest assured my thoughts will be with you.

Please do not worry yourself over this matter. All that needs
to be done is done. Please believe me my brother when I say
that no-one can do you better than I.

The Lord watch over us (Amen)

Sister Teresia

Meanwhile Barrister Kenneth is ripping his hair out because
my inbox is full again�I receive another voice message.
I then send him the good news�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

Ref: Codeword�Give me Felletio.

Dear Brother Kenneth.

First allow me to apologise for my delay in contacting you.
I did not get chance to return to the convent till the early
hours.

I hope that this letter finds you well and in good spirits.
Thank you for your speedy reply to my request. I have
presented the completed invoice for the Bishops approval
and he has agreed to release the funds we discussed.

I had a great deal of trouble persuading him due to the fact
that it was in fax form and not the usual church format.
Luckily when I played him your voice message informing
me that my inbox was full, he conceded. It was unusual
for my box to have been so full so quickly. It was probably
due to the many letters of condolences over Bishop
Comefast�s demise that I received. Some of the mail
was so big, that my box just overflowed. It has been
many years since I last had anything that large in my box.

Now brother you can expect a short letter of response
from our accounting section. This will be to discuss the
best method of transferring the funds to you. It should be
pretty straight forward and nothing to worry about. If you
do have any problems, please don�t hesitate to contact me.

Oh and a word of caution my dear brother Kenneth�do not
make mention of our secret dealings concerning the Prince�s
transfer of funds. That is something that we shall deal with
separately.

Gods speed my son.

Sister Teresia

He doesn�t waste much time with his response�

Quote:

Atten: Sister Teresia,

Thanks for your email. I am happy for the progress
made so far. I was with Prince some minutes ago, I
have informed him that everything is okay.

Like you said, I would be waiting to hear from the
accounting section. Also understand very well your
instruction about the Prince Transaction. I also have
to let you know that I appriciate the way you are
keeping everything secret and confidential.

I have already made available the receiving account
details, I would forward it to the accounting
section.once they contact me.

Please do ensure that everything is done fast to
enable us proceed to our Major transaction okay.

Have a nice day and God's blessing.

Yours Faithfully.
Barrister Kenneth Nkwocha
NB: I HOPE THE ACCOUNT SECTION HAS MY CORRECT CONTACT
INFORMATIONS WHICH IS:

[email protected] OR [email protected]
PHONE:234-37231680.

The good sister�s accountant gets in touch�just to hint at
Kenneth that it�s not going to be all plain sailing�

Quote:

Robert Ublind
Accounting Dept: World Children�s Relief
Sussex.

Ref: TRANSFERRAL OF BUILDING COSTS�$82,000

Dear Mr. Nkwocha

Please be advised that I am in receipt of the building funds
as per your invoice Ref No: 783/217 received in this office
19/07/04 for the sum of $82,000 (eighty two thousand
dollars United States)

I have received written instructions from our head of
Administrations Sister Teresia Green that the payment is
to be released immediately and with all haste.

Please remit all details as to where and when the payment
is to be made and forward them to this office �[email protected]� stating the Ref No 783/217
and accompanied by photographs of the work in progress
for our records.

Yours Cordially

Rob Ublind (Accountant)

As predicted�Kenneth has now lost control putting the good
sister in the driving seat�

Quote:

Atten:Sister Teresia Green,

BELOW IS THE EMAIL I RECEIVED FROM Rob Ublind
(Accountant) I need your advise as regard the picture
he requested. I will wait to hear from you urgently
before forwarding the account information to him as
requested.

Yours Faithfully
Kenneth Nkwocha.
******************************************************
Ref: TRANSFERRAL OF BUILDING COSTS�$82,000
Dear Mr. Nkwocha

Please be advised that I am in receipt of the building
funds as per your invoice Ref No: 783/217 received in
this office 19/07/04 for the sum of $82,000 (eighty
two thousand dollars United States)

I have received written instructions from our head of
Administrations Sister Teresia Green that the payment
is to be released immediately and with all haste.

Please remit all details as to where and when the
payment is to be made and forward them to this office
�[email protected]� stating the Ref No 783/217
and accompanied by photographs of the work in progress
for our records.

Yours Cordially
Rob Ublind (Accountant)

He also replies to the accountant�

Quote:

Attention: Robert Ublind,

Ref: TRANSFERRAL OF BUILDING COSTS�$82,000.
Invoice Ref No: 783/217.

Below is the account I would need the funds to be transferred.
I would send across to you the photographs of the work in
progress for your records as you requested. However, I
would also need you to forward to me the copy of the
payment slip sent to me via email attachment once the
transfer is made to enable me broker confirm the payment.

Receiving Account Information.
AMERICAN EXPRESS NEW YORK
SWIFT CODE: AEIB US33
CR: TO: PRO BANK
SWIFT CODE: PRNK GRAA
A/C NO: GR9505400230000068322022019
FAVOR: UNIVERSAL CONTRACTS SERVICES LTD.

I would appreciate if you can effect the transfer of the funds
today and also forward to me the payment slip immediately.

Thanks for your understanding and corporations.

Yours Faithfully,
Kenneth Nkwocha.

The accountant replies�

Quote:

Robert Ublind
Accounting Dept: World Children�s Relief
Sussex.

Ref: TRANSFERRAL OF BUILDING COSTS�$82,000

Dear Mr. Nkwocha

Thank you for your banking details. As soon as this office is
in receipt of the photographic evidence of the construction
progress then the funds shall be transferred within the week.

Yours Cordially

Rob Ublind (Accountant)

This unsettles Kenneth a little, so he writes to Sister Teresia�

Quote:

Atten: Sister Teresia Green,

This is to inform you that I have forwarded the account
informations to the accountant. Please do ensure that he
sends to me copy of the payment slip via email attachment
once the money it paid into the account. This would enable
my broker to confirm this transfer.

I have earlier sent you an email yesterday regarding the
picture the accountant requested, though I informed him
that I will send it to him, I am still waiting to hear from you
in this regards.

Please get back to me as soon as possible.

Yours Faithfully,
Kenneth Nkwocha.

Another voice message later, and then he sends me this�

Quote:

BELOW IS THE EMAIL I RECEIVED FROM THE ACCOUNTANT. I REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE TOWARDS PROVIDING THE PICTURE OF THE CONSTRUCTION SITE.

***************************************
Robert Ublind
Accounting Dept: World Children�s Relief
Sussex.
Ref: TRANSFERRAL OF BUILDING COSTS�$82,000
Dear Mr. Nkwocha
Thank you for your banking details. As soon as this office is
in receipt of the photographic evidence of the construction
progress then the funds shall be transferred within the week.
Yours Cordially
Rob Ublind (Accountant)

I offer him a solution�it should be interesting to see his
response�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

Dear Brother Kenneth.

God be with you my son. I am in receipt of your letter and
was as confused as you at the content. I have never heard
of the accounting department wanting photographs before.

I showed your letter to the new Bishop for clarification and
he informed me that due to so many fraudulent claims being
submitted during the past, that photographic evidence of the
work in progress is now required.

To this end Kenneth I can only suggest that you go out
and find a construction site somewhere close by and snap
of a couple of pictures. If you could have the name of the
new church in the photograph somewhere then that would
make it all the more convincing: Perhaps if someone was
holding a sign with the words �St Mary�s Menopause� somewhere
in the picture that would satisfy them.

I am sure that a man of your stature and bearing will be able
to produce something convincing.

Please keep me informed brother, as I feel that we are so close.

Sister Teresia

I�ve got to hand it to him, he responded quite rapidly�

Quote:

Attention:Sister Teresia Green,
Attached are copies of the Photographic evidence of the
construction progress which I sent to the accountant. Please
follow up from your end to ensure that the transfer of the
funds is effected as soon as possible to enable us proceed
with our transaction. Have a nice weekend as I wait to hear
from you ASAP.
Regards,
Kenneth Nkwocha.

He attaches these crappy photos�s�

I give him some news�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My dear Barrister Kenneth

Thank you my dear brother for your swift reply. If only a few
of the people that I have to deal with each day were as
professional as you�then my life would be a lot easier.

I have tried to contact Mr Ublind several times today, but
he seems too busy to reply to my mail. So I took a taxi and
went to visit him on your behalf, but his office was empty.

It was then, brother Kenneth that I did a terrible thing�God
forgive me! I found that he had left his computer switched on
and I peeked through all his recent documentation. My dear
brother�what I saw there disturbed me greatly!

It seems that Mr. Ublind isn�t the God fearing person that
we all thought he was. As if the disgusting and highly
compromising photographs of himself with his secretary
weren�t enough, it seems that he has been embezzling
church funds for several years.

I made copies of everything, but I don�t know what to do
for the best. My first thought was to contact the police, but
realised that any hasty action on my part may endanger our
own transactions.

I even contemplated blackmailing him with the photographs
I copied to teach him a lesson, and perhaps get more
money out of him but I suppose that�s just an old woman�s
foolish imagination running away with her. Oh my dear
brother what shall I do�I am at my wits end.

The other bad news is� I think he�s rejected the pictures
you sent him. His drafted letter said something about being
too small and no banner or sign showing their genuine.

I thought that was pretty cruel coming from a man as perverse
as he has turned out to be. Still I�m sure that in time his
wicked ways will come back and bite him�I certainly hope so.

If you have any suggestions on this urgent matter my
brother, please contact me soonest. I have attached the pictures I found� but before you open them I must warn you that they are disgusting!

Gods blessing to you (Amen)

Disturbed Sister Teresia

I attach some rather compromising photo�s of the accountant
in action�sorry folks but they really are nasty�can�t publish
them here. Let�s just say they were obtained from an adult
website! Then just to rub salt into his wounds I send him this
from the accountant�

Quote:

Robert Ublind
Accounting Dept: World Children�s Relief
Sussex.

Ref: TRANSFERRAL OF BUILDING COSTS�$82,000

Dear Mr. Nkwocha

Thank you I am in receipt of your photographs. I regret to
inform you however that they were found unsuitable for our
records for the following reasons:

(1) The prints were far too small and unclear.

(2) No reference was found to the name of the Church.

Please see it from my point of view Mr Nkwocha�these photographs
could have come from anywhere. Until I am in receipt of
certifiable proof that the construction work is indeed related to
the Church of the Holy Menopause. Then I will have no choice
but to defer payment of the $82,000 as requested.

I shall await your response.

Yours Cordially

Rob Ublind (Accountant)

I didn�t have to wait long before he contacts the good sister again�

Quote:

What is going on?? I can't understand why the delay.
Please use your position to handle thing from your end.
Regards,
Barr Kenneth Nkwocha

(Note there�s no Dear Sister�it�s just short curt and too the point) Obviously he didn�t get the point of my last e-mail from the sister.
He then sends me his ultimatum�

Quote:

Dear Sister Teresia Green,
BELOW IS THE EMAIL I GOT FROM ROBERT UBLIND. I HAVE
TO LET YOU KNOW THAT WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER AND
YOU KNOW THE Church of the Holy Menopause. GIVE ME
THE PICTURES SO I CAN FORWARD TO Robert Ublind. IF
YOU CANNOT DO THIS, THEN I AM SORRY THERE IS NOTHING
I CAN DO.
Barr. Kenneth Nkwocha.

He attaches a copy of the letter I sent from the accountant.
The only clue that I have rattled his cage comes from the way
he seems to have �cocked up� his capital lock on his keyboard.
Time for a gentle slap I think�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My dear Barrister Kenneth

I hope this letter finds you well.

In answer to your request�It seems that what I have asked
you is proving way too difficult for your comprehension. It is
impossible for me to send you pictures of The Church of the Holy Menopause because it hasn�t been built yet!

If you remember my dear brother, we fabricated the construction
of the church in order to release the $82,000 construction costs.
All that was required from you was to go out of your office�make
a sign saying�Church of the Holy Menopause�stick it into the
sand and then take a photograph.

I am sorry that you have found this difficult, but remember
I have difficulties of my own to deal with at this end. I e-mailed
you all the information I found out about Mr. Ublind and still
you were unable to persuade him to see things from our
perspective or provide him with a suitable forged photograph.

I can help you no more my son and am sorry to hear that
there is nothing further you can do. I wish you and the prince
all the luck in the future and shall pray that you find someone
else that is willing to send you $82,000 without the need for
one easily obtained picture.

Yours in God

Sister Teresia

Then I write to the Prince�

Quote:

Sister Teresia Green
Administrator�World Children�s Relief
Sisterhood of the Holy Flagellation
Sussex

My Dear Prince Abonime & Family

Blessings to you by dear brother. I am writing this letter with a
heavy heart that is crying out to you and your poor family.

I have the unpleasant duty to inform you that our good friend
Barrister Kenneth has decided to terminate the transfer of the
$82,000 that is waiting in the bank at this end, ready to be
transferred to you and your family, as the modalities have
proved too complicated for his tiny brain.

It seems such a pity that all is too be lost for the sake of
leaving his office and taking one easy photograph of a building
site. Still it is his decision to make.

I apologise for any hope I raised in you and your good family,
but it seems we have been let down by a Lazy Barrister.

I wish you and your good family all the best and dearly hope
that you can find someone to help you during your time of
turmoil. Either that or get yourself a decent Barrister that is
willing to use his brain a bit more and get off his fat arse and take
a couple of photographs.

I shall wait for one more week, and then I�m afraid that the
$82,000 shall have to be forfeited or donated to some other
worthy cause.

I shall pray for you my son.

Sister Teresia

The bait finished here sorry to say...but I enjoyed it whilst it lasted Laughing

Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 11:31 am

Great read Cherrie.

Pity it ended so abruptly as it was developing into quite a tale.

Now tell me more about *Gusset Sniffing*, is that a hobby or a church duty Shocked