Andrew and the traveling computers!--UPDATE!

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Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:10 pm

There are so very many overly dramatic quotes from these lads, just which one do you add to your siggy line? Maybe you should wait. There might be even better ones coming. Very Happy

This safari is very entertaining. I hope you can get them to Benin City. The only way they will get there is to borrow money, or sneak out in the middle of the night and go on the run from the hotel manager. This line amused me, but it's too bad you can't answer that one. Never burn a lad! Smile

Quote:

which means all is a calculated attempt to put me in shame, if really that is what it means, my question is WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU? that i deserve such treatment.

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:41 pm

Thanks for all the support everyone!

Today is day 6 of the safari, and I really thought it would be done. But there have been some developments that I will be posting up as soon as I have a free moment.

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 5:03 pm

They are on their way to Benin City!!!!

Just got a phone call that they had chartered a car, and they are on their way!!!

Last night I sent an email to Ahmed, their boss

Quote:

Ahmed,

You have got to get these boys some money. They have continually fucked up every stage of this project. They missed the first delivery even though I gave them detailed instructions on how to get to the drop site. Then they missed the pick up the next morning. Then they didn't event try to get it the third time, which caused the package to move up to Ibadan. They didn't even fucking try to get it there. Then it flew up to Abuja, and by a stroke of good fortune I talked the company into flying it down to Benin City where this is the LAST CHANCE they have to pick it up. I have sent them the flight info, including flight number, time of arrival, name of the airline, etc.

Andrew keeps telling me that I have got to send him money, but I am out on a fucking boat repairing a sunken oil rig.
I have just gotten off the phone with Andrew and he was practically begging me to do something about it. What the fuck can I do?

You said these men were capable. I have even told them that once they get the package they can take out two computers and sell them and keep the money. I don't fucking care. I can tell Dell that they were broken and have them replaced. I need that package to be picked up! This is the last chance before the whole thing becomes even more royally fucked.

Barry

and he wrote back, not very happy with me I must say

Quote:

Barry you must be a bastard to tell me to give them money after i have given them mobilization fees to enable them move with all hope that you will take care of them, do you know actually what you are doing to such a man with a family, they have called you many times informing you of their situation still you never shown any sign of concern, is that how you are?
i trusted you and went to convince this people with their family left with hope that we are dealing with somebody that has human sympathy but you choose to stabb us below the belt.

I have met many Americans here in the bank and non has misbehaved like the way you did, they called you that their things has been seized at the hotel, they have gone to the extend of selling their wrasit watches depositing their passport to the hotel in order to see where to sleep,Let me tell you i will not spend i cent in your personal contract, i have given the wife another $200 send the money back to me immediately.

You are sending them to Benin will they fly or do you think they are lying?
maybe because you are a liar that is why you think they are lying be very careful with they way you treat them because the anger of God will surely come upon you for your deeds.

Go to any availble place send money to enable them move to pick the package at benin airport they will not move because they have no money to do that and no magic.
Ahmed

I stayed up super late last night so that I could fly the little red marker from Abuja to Benin City and have it land on time.

I put a call into Andrew about 3 a.m. my time, and he was so frantic and worked up that I couldn't understand a word he said. I hung up, hoping that he would call me back and I could record it, but no luck.

It looks like Ahmed has sent them some more money and now they are headed to Benin City airport.

Oh, man, this is great!

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 5:20 pm

Quote:

we are blaming nobody but God

who are these ingrates to actually QUESTION god!??! the rev might want to hear about this!

cheers

grimbleton

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 5:29 pm

Tuco wrote:

Quote:

i will have no option to sell my shirts

Could he mean "Shorts"?

why not? so far claiming to have sold their necklaces, cell and watch. why not the shirt and shorts too. i hear nigeria and the surrounding countryside has a rather mild climate.

cheers

grimbleton

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 5:34 pm

SlapHappy wrote:

There are so very many overly dramatic quotes from these lads, just which one do you add to your siggy line?

i think the bit where he mentions that they've sold everything and have no options left but suicide is priceless.

cheers

grimbleton

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 5:48 pm

I'm wondering if once they get to the Benin Airport the jig will be up.

I sent them very detailed instructions on exactly where the package would be in the airport, and I'm sure they are going to ask someone, who will then say 'there is no such office'

I'm not even sure how to end a bait...? Obviously, I will not tell them they've been fooled. The best cons are the one where the person doesn't know they've been conned. I heard that in the movie The Sting (great flick!)

If I can get them to stay the night in Benin City i'll be happy. As it stands now, I have about an hour before they get there. Not much time to plan.

here · Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 5:51 pm

Mr Gomer collects the laptop package?

you could let them watch it going back to where they started their safari from in Gomer's truck?

clearly YOU think they've picked it up and are stealing the whole shipment Laughing

Not quite a Newb Joined: 09 Mar 2008 Posts: 43

I'm with bait_my_hook, if your wonderful bait must end, a Gomer chop would be a most appropriate finish. Myth becomes reality

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 6:10 pm

Great idea!

I have to tell them that the package has been picked up otherwise they will get to the airport and find out there never was such a package.

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 6:21 pm

Nowhere Man wrote:

Great idea!

yeah! great idea. too bad some genius didn't PM you about that a few days ago. Wink

cheers

grimbleton

Not quite a Newb Joined: 09 Mar 2008 Posts: 43

I feel like Gunther Toody. "Ooh! Ooh!"

The Reverend Phil Shucks, during his trauma, and not in full possession of his faculties, hooked-up with the Gomer Boys and sets in motion a chain of events......

ROFL

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 6:44 pm

Nowhere Man wrote:

Great idea!

I have to tell them that the package has been picked up otherwise they will get to the airport and find out there never was such a package.

It's not your fault that the polished, professional impostors got to the airport ahead of your inept lads who kept dilly-dallying along the way.

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 7:01 pm

^^^And then there´s the crook WU agent.
And Wanda.

Even as G makes off with the puters under the noses of these hapless lads, there must be some way these two keep the bait going...I have faith in your baiting skills, NWM.

I especially loved it when the lad wrote:

can't you ask your wife or any friend o just walkk to western union or money and send us some money,

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 9:00 pm

I have to say, people have given me some great ideas, and sent me some PM's that I haven't been able to respond to. So, thanks!

@Grimbleton--sorry. You were the first to suggest that idea. Props!

Before I talked to Andy today, I was trying hard to convince another lad i've been emailing (who is also in Lagos) to give my two stranded friends a ride to the Benin Airport in exchange for a laptop. He refused. It would have been great to link up 2 baits and have them all in one car together! How classic!

In a stroke of unbelievable luck, Andrew and Chima called me to say that they had arrived at the Benin Airport to find that the airport offices had closed. That means another night at a hotel!

They are going to try again in the morning--unfortunately, by that time the package will have moved already. Actually, it already moved, but the lads don't have any internet access so they don't know that yet.
I told them in our last email conversation that the package would stay at the airport until Saturday, when it will then travel to Port Harcourt. I neglected to tell them what time on Saturday it would move. Looks like they struck out again.

They asked about Rev. Shucks, and if anyone had heard from him. They are worried about getting paid once the package is delivered.

Tomorrow they'll get the news that the Rev. has been kidnapped. I'll knock up a newspaper article tonight.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day for our lads!

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 10:09 pm

This is some positively lad-tastic baiting, Nowhere Man!!!

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 10:19 pm

I loved this one:

Quote:

you choose to stabb us below the belt

Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 10:53 pm

Quote:

Chima has been as silent as the grave.

what a shame that didn't turn out to be the literal truth.

this really is a classy safari bait.

hmmm... "nowhere man"... the road to nowhere... ah, happy days.

Posted: Sat Sep 04, 2010 5:40 am

I called the lads again and they are a bit frustrated. I let them know that I am doing everything in my power to get the package to them. I just wish there was really a package involved, then maybe we could actually get something done here. Laughing

http://www.4shared.com/audio/zdOIPFX0/problems_with_the_package.html

This message brought to you by Guinness Stout

ETA> In every instance that I could not understand what the hell the lad was saying, I responded with "Yes". It seemed to make him happy.

Posted: Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:31 am

Wow! this whole thing just ratcheted up about 20 notches. To recap:

At the start of day 7, Andy and Chima were in Lagos. I get a very desperate voicemail from Andy...

http://www.4shared.com/audio/OxYLWnIw/desperateandy.html

I don't call him back because...well, why should I?

I then get a very hopeful voicemail about an hour later (around 9 a.m. my time)...

http://www.4shared.com/audio/d-Wmz97q/progress.html

Looks like they have chartered a car to drive them to Benin City (the package, remember, is waiting at the Benin City airport and has to be picked up by Saturday or it will move again). They have a terrible time getting there. The roads, they tell me, are terrible. It takes them hours to make the drive from Lagos.

Lucky for me they arrive and the airport offices are closed. The lads sound very hopeful. They will try again in the morning. They are rejoicing again in their near success.

I decide to move the package again towards Port Harcourt, and pull it off the road in the middle of the Bayelsa National Forest. I don't actually want them going to the airport. I figure they will find out there is/was no package.
This is when Cuervo makes his call (see above). I love the part when Cuervo says that it is late and that he should be at home with his girlfriend.
I figure the lads will just hop to an internet cafe and track the elusive computers, but no. I get this message:

http://www.4shared.com/audio/whzoBxCX/arik_air.html

They are in the airport office!
I give it about two hours, figuring no one will wait in the airport office for two fucking hours--but Andy sure does. He insists that I talk with the airport agent. I hang up quick and feign a bad connection. He calls me back begging to call him. I do.

I wish I could have recorded the phone call, but google wont record outgoing calls. This was the most intense phone call I've made so far. It was basically this:

I get Andy on the phone, he passes me over to the airline agent. I ask the agent to go into an office away from Andy where it is quiet. I then tell him that these guys are 419 scammers. He gets it. I tell him that I am trying to isolate them, and possibly get them arrested. I don't want to put the airline guy in any danger, so I ask him if he will say that he (the airline guy) has to make some calls, fill out some paper work, and that he will call me when he knows anything and I can relay it to Andy. He agrees. I just want Andy and Chima out of the airport at this point.
He is very curious about where I am and what I am doing and where this guy (Andy) is from. I ask him if he can see if Andy is wearing a wrist watch. No, he cant see (damn! I wanted to catch Andy in a lie). The airline guy was nice as hell, and agreed to help me out, and did, and then handed the phone back to Andy.
I tell Andy that it is going to take a while to sort out and that he should leave the airport and go get some lunch or something. This sets him off. He asks me how he can buy lunch when he has no money. His passport is still back in Lagos at the hotel. He has apparently promised the driver to sell him one of the laptops for cheap in exchange for a ride from Lagos to Benin City, and what is he going to do now that there is no laptop to sell? He tells me again that he has sold his wrist watch. He has no money, no place to sleep, and a driver that is expecting payment.
He is fucked. End of story.

We get disconnected, and when I try to call him back he doesn't answer. I will try to get him to travel some more tomorrow. For now, sleep.

HUGE thanks to Cuervo.