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 Au Pair scam

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Branwen
It's fair


Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Posts: 4521
Location: Down on the (Playmobil) farm


PostPosted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 2:19 am Reply with quoteBack to top

From [email protected] Thu Jun 24 08:10:07 2010
X-Apparently-To: [email protected] via 217.146.176.79; Thu, 24 Jun 2010 08:10:09 +0000
Return-Path: <[email protected]>
X-YahooFilteredBulk: 87.248.115.77
X-YMailISG: <cut>
X-Originating-IP: [87.248.115.77]
Authentication-Results: mta1030.mail.ird.yahoo.com from=live.com; domainkeys=neutral (no sig); from=yahoo.com; dkim=pass (ok)
Received: from 127.0.0.1 (HELO web23804.mail.ird.yahoo.com) (87.248.115.77)
by mta1030.mail.ird.yahoo.com with SMTP; Thu, 24 Jun 2010 08:10:09 +0000
Received: (qmail 56242 invoked by uid 60001); 24 Jun 2010 08:10:07 -0000
DKIM-Signature: <cut>
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
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Received: from [10.11.5.68] by web23804.mail.ird.yahoo.com via HTTP; Thu, 24 Jun 2010 08:10:07 GMT
X-Mailer: YahooMailClassic/11.1.4 YahooMailWebService/0.8.104.274457
Date: Thu, 24 Jun 2010 08:10:07 +0000 (GMT)
From: "[email protected]" <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: NANNY NEEDED
To: undisclosed recipients: ;

Quote:
My Dear,

My name is Kelvin Janet Magus and I am Fourth years old, I work in an Oil and
Gas company (GUPAL OILS)here in London United Kingdom.

My wife is a busy person and working with hsbc bank.
I am looking for an au pair to be a big sister to my children and to
become another member of my family.

I have decided to find an au pair because I need someone who
will look after my child with some light housework.

I have two lovely kids a boy and a girl, I do not have any pet and I do
not smoke. I have a fun lovely young child looking for a kind heated fun
au pair to mix in with.
If you are interested and would consider being our au pair please contact me.

Yours sincerely
Kelvin Janet Magus.

[email protected]

_________________
Purple Flower Mc Fry Sand Timer x14

It is your first time to use western union so therefore none can blame you. It is always like this at the first experience. - Yes lad, and at the second, and the third... you'll see.

I don't want to guess the number - But, lad, isn't that the best fun to be had with MoneyGram reference numbers?
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Lehigh Guy
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 18 Dec 2008
Posts: 683
Location: Somewhere under the rainbow


PostPosted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 12:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
My Dear,

[...]
I am looking for an au pair to be a big sister to my children and to
become another member of my family. [...]

Yours sincerely
Kelvin Janet Magus.

[email protected]


I've been away for a while. Is this a new scam? I haven't seen it before. How does it work?

_________________
== == == == ==
Lehigh Guy - Closed lad accounts x ? Easter Egg 2013
== == == == ==
"Am surprise you are west-ting this much time and you know that your daughters life is astake ... I see it strange, something is fishing." Mr. Ben Lod, ATM lad wanting my daughter's medical trust fund.
_______________
"If You Are A Sinner That Means You Will Go To Hill. Repaint And Give Your Life To God So That You Will Leave Long." Mrs. Edna Oleibe, who does not like that I quoted the Bible: "The love of money is the root of all evil."
_______________
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Branwen
It's fair


Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Posts: 4521
Location: Down on the (Playmobil) farm


PostPosted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 9:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The scammer requests some kind of fee before the would-be au pair can take up the position. This is often demanded through a 'travel agent' (the same scammer or associate). It might be a fake visa fee, or a fake work permit fee, or money for fake flight tickets. Therefore, it can be baited much like any other advance fee scam - just, this time, the lure is not money, but a job and the opportunity to travel to another country and improve language skills.

Unfortunately, it does trick a lot of people who would like to have this sort of opportunity.

You can read more about the scam here.

_________________
Purple Flower Mc Fry Sand Timer x14

It is your first time to use western union so therefore none can blame you. It is always like this at the first experience. - Yes lad, and at the second, and the third... you'll see.

I don't want to guess the number - But, lad, isn't that the best fun to be had with MoneyGram reference numbers?
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Saint Pesmo
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 22 Jan 2010
Posts: 52
Location: Seventh heaven


PostPosted: Sat Jun 26, 2010 1:18 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hey he is forth years old....no wonder he needs a nanny Smile

And Janet... unusual men's name Smile

_________________
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PG Malone
Master Baiter


Joined: 30 Jan 2010
Posts: 182


PostPosted: Sun Jun 27, 2010 8:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi all,
I have Kelvin on the hook at the moment and he has just directed me to the "Uk boarder agency" to arrange my travel and visa's etc.
The Job has moved some how from a Nanny to a Security Guard, for him, his wife, Daughter and Au Pair.
I count myself lucky though as not many ex con alcoholics get the chance now a days to get job's like this.
Have a look at his "PAD" nice place dont you think lol, the EDGEWARE rd has altered a bit since i was last down there.
Looks big enough so that i dont have to "Room" with the Au Pair, shame.

PG

My Dear Ronnie pucker =2CThanks for your kind response to my email. My =
wife is a very busy person=2Cas we are working class and rich.We
need security to my entire house hold most important my daughter=2Cwe
need someone who can secure and take care of every person in the house
so I decided that a private security would help us to give our child
security which she deserve as well my house. We
are American fun loving family living at 112 Montrose Avenue=2C
Edgware/Greater London HA8=2C United Kingdom. and we will enjoy it if
you are a person who enjoys doing lots of stuff with the kids.Our
prime objective is to make sure our child is well secured both in and
out side the my living premises =2C This would also naturally mean that
sometimes you would have to help secured her to school=2Cchurch and all
other place she desires to go . I would say that 85% of the
time will be spent on the child=2C 15% on household safety . We are
Christians=2C and it is very important for us to have some one who loves
God serves God too.Brenda is a Four years old baby and she is
a friendly little girl=2C who loves to play with her friends=2C but can
also play alone. She is a bit shy and checks things out before she
participates. Very caring and easy to get along with. She loves
singing and dancing and is more artistic . She enjoys being read to and
relationship oriented Note
that you are not going to partake on house hold cores or laundry as we
have an aupair that takes care of that and child neatness. We
would go into contract with you as our new private security =2C for 24
months We are willing to incur the expenses of your flight=2C
entrance/work permit paper and deduct 0.5% of it every month from your
salary=2C but the mutual agreement remains that you must contact the UK
HOME OFFICE for important instruction in regards to the procurement of
your travel document and requirements to present before embarking your
journey to United Kingdom=2C as this is reference to our bad experience
in inviting a private security =2C after we secured he"s entrance to UK
he arrived and was repatriated due to lack complete requirements which
brought to the loss of expenses which was incurred by us . So we were a=
dvised by the UK HOME OFFICE /attorney to follow up with
this policy from the UK HOME OFFICE for legal security purposes
confirmation of applicant coming down to UK. But we advise you
wait while we prepare the Contract Agreement Letter from our company
lawyer (GUPAL OILS) as we will also give you directives on which you
will be required to read the contract term carefully sign and return
for further action.We are excited to see you join us soon. Find attached
the picture of our family picture=2Cmy house and apartment where you will al
so stay with us .


https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=36d32aef63&view=att&th=129735ef38cb599e&attid=0.1&disp=inline&zw

So I replied, as you do.

Sir you have nice house, i very lucky to come work for you.
You have lovely family and au pair.
I am written to border agency an tell them i come to der UK soon as they ready with papers.
I tell them about me not liking to fly so i hops they can let me comes by boat.
Will they be to pick me up when der ships in Sheffield and how far is Londons from this place.
I very exited as i no have ever been outside Izbeckistan and now i am free woman with all the crimes behind me i can start new life in London, sheffield.

Ok i go know, many thankyou's

Ronnie.


I then got this?????From the UK Border Agency,
(Nigerian division obviously)

ATTENTION MR RONNIE,

I am writing on the receipt of the mail you to sent,we are UK BOARDER AGENCY you are to sign the appointment letter and send it to us and along with your traveling papers you need to be fast with all this proposals.

Thank You


So now i wait for a day or two before replying and its off to Londons i go, wish me luck

ttfn PG

_________________
If only they could!! Easter Egg Closed lad accounts x9

An unfortunate member of "The Todger club 2011"

THEY ARRESTED TWO OF MY FRIENDS AND DETAINED THEM IN A POLICE CUSTODY, ACCUSING THEM OF ABUSING CURRENCY.

You are Unworthy of my complimentary ending, bastard

Unfortunately,we were happily married for 13 years
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cece
Master Baitress


Joined: 17 Jul 2009
Posts: 199
Location: USA


PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 1:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I love this scam! Here's the email I just sent him. I'm wondering if he'll reply. Would you, if you were looking for a nanny? LOL

Dear Kelvin,

I have a shady past, but I'm hoping someone will give me a chance in life. Maybe that someone will be you. I can only hope.

I must be honest with you, since I have now found the Lord and must repent for my past sins.

I am a 35 year old woman, never married, no children. I have no ties to my country, the U.S.

I have had two DUI's, and am a convicted felon. Two years ago, I gave my drug dealer two of the children I was baby-sitting for two hours in exchange for drugs. But I promise I've changed.

Also, I am a registered sex offender in the state of Nevada. I'd rather not talk about that now though, as the case is still pending and my attorney told me not to discuss it.

I'm looking for someone who can help me get back on track with my life.

Please let me know if you'd still like me to care for your children.

Thank you so much...



Razz

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Subject line in email: "I regret I ever met you"
Mama, I am not hurted by your email, but I muss comfess I am not happy with the way you are treating me.
I recived your email but the secured site for western union is very stressfull i have been here for almost three hour trying to get the MTCN numbers.
Just wanted to inform you that i almost lost my mind trying to reveal the MTCN numbers for the money you sent obviously this is punishment to the receiver of the funds.
fuck uuuuuuuuuu asssssss

Goat
Closed lad accounts x7
Cellphone x3
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Lehigh Guy
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 18 Dec 2008
Posts: 683
Location: Somewhere under the rainbow


PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 4:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

cece wrote:
I love this scam! Here's the email I just sent him. I'm wondering if he'll reply. Would you, if you were looking for a nanny? LOL

Dear Kelvin,

[...] Two years ago, I gave my drug dealer two of the children I was baby-sitting for two hours in exchange for drugs. But I promise I've changed.
[...]

Please let me know if you'd still like me to care for your children.

Thank you so much...

Razz


Just getting a bite on this one will be comedy goal. Keep us up to date.

_________________
== == == == ==
Lehigh Guy - Closed lad accounts x ? Easter Egg 2013
== == == == ==
"Am surprise you are west-ting this much time and you know that your daughters life is astake ... I see it strange, something is fishing." Mr. Ben Lod, ATM lad wanting my daughter's medical trust fund.
_______________
"If You Are A Sinner That Means You Will Go To Hill. Repaint And Give Your Life To God So That You Will Leave Long." Mrs. Edna Oleibe, who does not like that I quoted the Bible: "The love of money is the root of all evil."
_______________
"you son a beach , bastard , you will die by gun, ogun will kill you [a dozen words snipped] ANY PLANS YOU HAVE PLANNED EITHER TO RUB ME OR ANY OTHER THING , YOU WILL DIR BY OGUN BYE" -- One truly pissed off lad.
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Bart Fargo
Corporate Baiter


Joined: 22 May 2010
Posts: 1605
Location: Free munchies for the cantaloupe masters


PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 9:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote: "Brenda is a Four years old baby"

I know that some parents will still consider young ones their baby. But I'mm picturing this huge kid still in a diaper, shaking a rattle and crying her head off.

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PG Malone
Master Baiter


Joined: 30 Jan 2010
Posts: 182


PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 1:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well good ol Kelvin Juliet (nee Janet) is being good enough to hold the job open for me until i can swear an "Oat" at the (wait for it)
"Supreme court Boarder Agency UK"
So it's only right and proper i look after my new Boss, especially in my new role as Security officer, so when he wrote and told me this i just had to reply.

I am writing in respect to let you know that the job is still their for you but you have to talk to me through this email id [email protected] just for security reasons because
my secretary has been operating in my private,s documents.

Best Regards

KELVIN JULIET MAGUS.


So i thought i would start as i mean to go on and protect him from afar
Especially when its obvious he is a POST OP CROSS DRESSER.

ME

Dears Kevin
I haf write to der border agency and they tell me i haf to send many monies to them,
I haf write also to them to let them know you are paying for these thing's they ask fors
and i will pays you whens i get works with yous ok.
So your secretary lady is messing wid your privates, if you want i slap her around for you whens i get work der,
or maybe brek her fingers so she never cross yous again, i am vere good at this security works, in village i vere gut lady wrestler, yes thank you, but i never beat big Olga, she was lick man.
Any who i dont lick peoples that mess with the boss,s privates.
All here in internat cafe think i lucky to get works with yous so i look after yous good from now. yes please.

thanks you Ronnie

I await his or her reply

PG

_________________
If only they could!! Easter Egg Closed lad accounts x9

An unfortunate member of "The Todger club 2011"

THEY ARRESTED TWO OF MY FRIENDS AND DETAINED THEM IN A POLICE CUSTODY, ACCUSING THEM OF ABUSING CURRENCY.

You are Unworthy of my complimentary ending, bastard

Unfortunately,we were happily married for 13 years
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cece
Master Baitress


Joined: 17 Jul 2009
Posts: 199
Location: USA


PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:48 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Surprise, surprise!

After letting Kelvin know I am an ex-convict, drunk driver, drug addict, and registered sex offender, he wrote back. They're excited to meet me! Smile


Edited: Here's what I just sent back to him:

Dear Kelvin,

Thank you so much for giving me a second chance in life! You don't know how much I appreciate this. I have a question for you though.

Would it be all right if I entertained men from time to time in order to supplement my income? Would I have my own private entrance to the house/apartment? Are you and your wife sound sleepers or do noises late at night wake you up?

Please let me know if this would be a problem. If it is, I'll try to find another way to supplement my income.

Billy

_________________
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Subject line in email: "I regret I ever met you"
Mama, I am not hurted by your email, but I muss comfess I am not happy with the way you are treating me.
I recived your email but the secured site for western union is very stressfull i have been here for almost three hour trying to get the MTCN numbers.
Just wanted to inform you that i almost lost my mind trying to reveal the MTCN numbers for the money you sent obviously this is punishment to the receiver of the funds.
fuck uuuuuuuuuu asssssss

Goat
Closed lad accounts x7
Cellphone x3
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PG Malone
Master Baiter


Joined: 30 Jan 2010
Posts: 182


PostPosted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 10:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well Kelvin Juliet was getting a little quiet after passing me
over to the BOARDER AGENCY, so i thought i would liven up
his world a tad by throwing
in a quick dollar chop.
So i wrote him from another of my email accounts and got this
reply "minutes" later.

MY man you don't have to do this to me my man instead just find me small cash
make i use am hold my side i am just like a guy like you please broda
.

WTF is that supposed to mean anyway????

I thought i would get the whimpering little weazel,s attention.
Now i know i can make him sweat should i ease off ??????????????NAH!!!!!!!!!
He isn't a "guy like me" anyway, cos i bet he aint sat there laughing Ha Ha.

Rgds PG

_________________
If only they could!! Easter Egg Closed lad accounts x9

An unfortunate member of "The Todger club 2011"

THEY ARRESTED TWO OF MY FRIENDS AND DETAINED THEM IN A POLICE CUSTODY, ACCUSING THEM OF ABUSING CURRENCY.

You are Unworthy of my complimentary ending, bastard

Unfortunately,we were happily married for 13 years
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Inspector Gadget
Angel of unrealistic meetings


Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 6108
Location: Trumpton


PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 10:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

new email address for this lad.


[email protected] <[email protected]>


well, two actually.

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Ghost
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 11:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

moved here from surplus

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FrumpyBB
Dean: Eater University


Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 5988
Location: Germany


PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 12:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yes, I know him, too Smile
Quote:
From: [email protected]
IP: 41.206.27.188
Subject: APPOINTMENT LETTER

1.0

My Dear,
Thanks for your kind response to my email. My wife is a very busy person,as we are working class and rich.
Weneed security to my entire house hold most important my daughter,weneed someone who can secure and take care of every person in the houseso I decided that a private security would help us to give our childsecurity which she deserve as well my house.We are American fun loving family living at 112 Montrose Avenue, Edgware/Greater London HA8, United Kingdom. and we will enjoy it if you are a person who enjoys doing lots of stuff with the kids.

Ourprime objective is to make sure our child is well secured both in andout side the my living premises , This would also naturally mean thatsometimes you would have to help secured her to school,church and allother place she desires to go .
I would say that 85% of thetime will be spent on the child, 15% on household safety . We areChristians, and it is very important for us to have some one who lovesGod serves God too.
Brenda is a Four years old baby and she isa friendly little girl, who loves to play with her friends, but canalso play alone. She is a bit shy and checks things out before sheparticipates. Very caring and easy to get along with. She lovessinging and dancing and is more artistic .. She enjoys being read to andrelationship orientedNote that you are not going to partake onhouse hold cores or laundry as we have an aupair that takes care ofthat and child neatness.We would go into contract with you asour new private security , for 24 months We are willing to incur theexpenses of your flight, entrance/work permit paper and deduct 0.5% ofit every month from your salary, but the mutual agreement remains thatyou must contact the UK HOME OFFICE for important instruction in regards to the procurement of your travel document and requirements to present before embarking your journey to United Kingdom, as this is reference to our bad experience in inviting a private security , after we secured he"s entrance to UKhe arrived and was repatriated due to lack complete requirements whichbrought to the loss of expenses which was incurred by us .

_________________
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theblob
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Joined: 31 May 2010
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 1:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=186824

Just sayin.

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Cold Justice
Master Baiter


Joined: 18 Jun 2010
Posts: 129
Location: Inside the Neverwhere of my mind.


PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 10:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I've been keeping dear Kelvin busy. I write him every day, usually something that requires an actual answer. Then the UKb got into the act and to my surprise, sent me a form without specifying how much the fees were, so I filled it out but of course ignored that part. I waited a day then asked them how it was proceeding (I've been working weekends and evidently so do they) I got a VERY rude letter telling me in very broken English that I was wasting their time and to send the money blah blah.

Well! I was highly offended and let them know. Then I wrote a long sobbing letter to my employer, saying as Americans we deserved better from that and I doubted the UKb was even British because they had sent me another email address after the first one (evidently both his previous accounts were closed) and maybe they were hacked and I wasn't even TALKING to the UKb blah blah sob blah. After all, I have been so nice to his little girl, sending letters, cutsy animal pictures, lots of questions so I'll know what to bring with me...and he treats like this! Because he's so inept he forgot to include how much he was scamming me for!

I got an apology within 20 min from the UKb and an outraged at their behavior one from my employer. Sadly for him, my broken heart is being cosseted by my roommate and her boyfriend, who have whisked me away for the weekend. Now I'M getting the mail, which will be answered on Monday. I don't know how many of us are baiting this guy, but I'm beginning to feel special that I've caught his attention, smirk smirk! Oh, this is fun!

Although I'm getting very concerned at the quality of his other employees I'll be working with. Imagine, his secretary getting into his emails! Shocking!

_________________
<i>Cold Justice</i>
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Cold Justice
Master Baiter


Joined: 18 Jun 2010
Posts: 129
Location: Inside the Neverwhere of my mind.


PostPosted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 1:31 am Reply with quoteBack to top

How is everyone doing with Kelvin? I think we should have a nanny/guard/ex con/what ever party. He's been grumpy lately, the UKboarder was so rude to me I will only deal through him. Then he suggested that I was wasting his time, because I didn't write him for 3 days. How rude! I mentioned to my other lad that NY had been hit by a storm and it was on the news, and he called me dear and said yes, he'd seen that. I thought about slapping Kelvin, it was so much fun slapping the UKboarder, but I really want him hooked on me. I don't have a driver's license so I sent him my very faked school ID. I look just like Christina Applegate...after she was badly mangled by going through the wash several times. No English speaking person would believe that card! And I ignored his rudeness to sob that they were asking over 500 dollars in US money and I didn't have it and what should I doooooo because I already felt like family and loved little Brenda sooooo much sob sniff sniffle. It worked.

Quote:
My Dear Cyndi,

I felt so bad when reading your mail, i shaded tears while reading your mail. No my dear you are already a part of the family right now. i was sent for an official trip to Nigeria and be back to UK after two working official days in Nigeria. But do not get worried everything will be okay i will have to help you out okay. But you know i have spent a lot of money in your traveling papers. You are to send the one you have so i can complete it for you and send the money to them. Note you are to use my agents info to send the money.


and back to business. I love his shaded tears. But I guess he wanted to make sure I stayed hooked, because he told me to make him proud and then said he would be out of town so his wife would be in touch, and Juliet emailed me. Awwww, I have the warm fuzzies. I think it's because I told him I only had the $300 to send. He's so totally inept at this, $300 probably sounds good. I googled him, he's all over the internet with people laughing at him. Now he's seen my id, hopefully he won't push it when my passport won't open.

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PG Malone
Master Baiter


Joined: 30 Jan 2010
Posts: 182


PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well folks looks like Kevin has undergone a slight name change although he never ages, he is still only "Fourth years old".
Same script, different name, but i have to admit he aint done bad for a 4 yr old, good job, wife and kids nice house.
To think i wasted all those years at school Surprised Surprised
It would be rude of us all not to continue his (De) education, i have just the person he is looking for??
Olga the female wrestler from Uzbeckistan would be the ideal candidate
she was let down badly by another guy called Kevin a few weeks back and is still looking for employment??
OLGA!!!!!!!! are you there.

Rgds PG

PS His IP comes from Australia, Olga goes "down under" as it were Phew!! no thank,s

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Date: Tue, 3 Aug 2010 22:56:02 -0700
Message-ID: <[email protected]>
From: [email protected]
Subject: NANNY NEEDED
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

My Dear,

My name is Johnson.Hill and I am Fourth years old, I work in an Oil and
Gas company (GUPAL OILS)here in London United Kingdom.

My wife is a busy person and working with hsbc bank.
I am looking for an au pair to be a big sister & brother to my children and
to
become another member of my family.

I have decided to find an au pair because I need someone who
will look after my child with some light housework.

I have two lovely kids a boy and a girl, I do not have any pet and I do
not smoke. I have a fun lovely young child looking for a kind heated fun
au pair to mix in with.
If you are interested and would consider being our au pair please contact
me.

([email protected])

Yours sincerely
Johnson.Hill.

_________________
If only they could!! Easter Egg Closed lad accounts x9

An unfortunate member of "The Todger club 2011"

THEY ARRESTED TWO OF MY FRIENDS AND DETAINED THEM IN A POLICE CUSTODY, ACCUSING THEM OF ABUSING CURRENCY.

You are Unworthy of my complimentary ending, bastard

Unfortunately,we were happily married for 13 years
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Cold Justice
Master Baiter


Joined: 18 Jun 2010
Posts: 129
Location: Inside the Neverwhere of my mind.


PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 10:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

What? Olga got let down? Well sign her on up, she sounds like a hoot! My lad has had to change his email address AGAIN.

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Bobtheelephant
419Eater is my life


Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 381


PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 10:56 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Gary needs to step in and have a go, I think.

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sunshine
lolcat


Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Posts: 2804
Location: Anywhere a lad needs setting on fire


PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 7:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Back when I was a little kid I had a dragon as an imaginary friend... now imagine if the Johnson's children could have a *real* dragon

---
Quote:
Tumescent greetings Mr Johnsonhill

Most excellent email for receive happens and offer of gainful employment as AuPair and wish large brother to make for children of smallness being.

I am "Lung Tien Diao" called and being of dragon come from land of China and live most high on mountain in Guangzhou, Guangdong provence where practice ancient dragon arts of Feng Shui, Origami, Kung-Fu and Macramé most off of which can to your small infant be teach, for free!

English I learning at moment and a regret happens speak it not very good and make apology I have for not good translate. I make for the learning with Master Wu Emporium of Foreigner Language correspondence course! Come to London make much unprovement of England speak skill also. In return also child of yours will be teach Mandarin and Cantonese speak and also special language Durzagh for dragons - much roaring fun your child will be having yes!

I also have no pet as did have small furry animal but make accident to step on one day - clumsy dragon! Also smoke slightly little bit on occasion but as not like western dragon be I of oriental extraction mainly for cloud and rain make for the happening. Promise curtain not to set alight and most careful where exhale I do.

Can make for travel to England London within 2 week.

You have a happy?

With great Detonations.

Lung Tien Diao


Do you think Lung Tien wil get hired. The Johnson's are going to have to extend the guest room a bit if he does Wink

(Actually there's probably a Hollywood movie plot in this somewhere - "Our Nanny's a Dragon!") It could have Rick Moranis as the long-suffering father.

_________________
so dont push my spirit to do a bad fasting for your head if not you will confam your self as a died person okay - Pastor Divine
OBOSH WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL NEVER SEE GOOD THING IN LIFE. OGUN WILL KILL YOU BASTARD SUN OF OBOSH. - Dr Oilyseagoon
AN ALIEN YOU ARE FROM THE PIT OF HELL - Abraham
I have explain this whole process to you so many times over and over again. - Spencer
Safari Praveen - Hanuman Junction - Hyderabad x2
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theblob
419Eater is my life


Joined: 31 May 2010
Posts: 255


PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 7:33 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^Some funny shit! Very Happy Very Happy

I'm still perfecting my Romanian English. Lads love it!

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Bobtheelephant
419Eater is my life


Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 381


PostPosted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 3:40 am Reply with quoteBack to top

OK, I took Cece's idea and ran with it:

Quote:

Dear Sir:

I recently read your advertisement for an au pair. I am a 35yr old
male who just got out from doing a dime in Joliet for statutory.
I'm looking to get a new start on that business, and your family
seems like the perfect opportunity.



That's right; my opening e-mail just came out and basically said "I would like to rape your children"

His response? That sounds great!

Quote:
My Dear Gary,

Thanks for your kind response to my email. My wife is a very busy person,as we are working class and rich.

We need security to my entire house hold most important my daughter,we need someone who can secure and take care of every person in the house so I decided that a private security would help us to give our child security which she deserve as well my house.

We are American fun loving family living at ****/Greater London HA8, United Kingdom. and we will enjoy it if you are a person who enjoys doing lots of stuff with the kids.

Our prime objective is to make sure our child is well secured both in and out side the my living premises , This would also naturally mean that sometimes you would have to help secured her to school,church and all other place she desires to go .

I would say that 85% of the time will be spent on the child, 15% on household safety . We are Christians, and it is very important for us to have some one who loves God serves God too.

Brenda is a Four years old baby and she is a friendly little girl, who loves to play with her friends, but can also play alone. She is a bit shy and checks things out before she participates. Very caring and easy to get along with. She loves singing and dancing and is more artistic . She enjoys being read to and relationship oriented

Note that you are not going to partake on house hold cores or laundry as we have an Au pair that takes care of that and child neatness.

We would go into contract with you as our new private security , for 24 months We are willing to incur the expenses of your flight, entrance/work permit paper and deduct 0.5% of it every month from your salary, but the mutual agreement remains that you must contact the UK HOME OFFICE for important instruction in regards to the procurement of your travel document and requirements to present before embarking your journey to United Kingdom, as this is reference to our bad experience in inviting a private security , after we secured he"s entrance to UK he arrived and was repatriated due to lack complete requirements which brought to the loss of expenses which was incurred by us .

So we were advised by the UK HOME OFFICE /attorney to follow up with this policy from the UK HOME OFFICE for legal security purposes confirmation of applicant coming down to UK.

But we advise you wait while we prepare the Contract Agreement Letter from our company lawyer (GUPAL OILS) as we will also give you directives on which you will be required to read the contract term carefully sign and return for further action.
We are excited to see you join us soon.

Find attached the picture of our family picture,my house and apartment where you will also stay with us .

Best Regards.


He was even kind enough to send me a pic of the little girl my character would victimize:

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c369/ferahgo/GupalFamilyPic.jpg?t=1281066354

I'll keep baiting him, but with a more tame character. I can't bring myself to play this one anymore.

_________________
Slut of the Undermentioned Resources

Closed lad accounts x4

Mugu Dave: "I don't no where to run to, i have no boddy my parent are daddy please help don't let die"
Goodluck George:"many people call internet scammers has hacked and penitrate into your mail box"

Phil Taffee:"Note: Please note that Mr. Goodluck is not an asshole okay."

"GOD WILL PUNSH YOU ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE"

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sunshine
lolcat


Joined: 13 Feb 2008
Posts: 2804
Location: Anywhere a lad needs setting on fire


PostPosted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 6:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ got the same mail so your charachter is in trouble because my dragon will have taught her the secret arts of kung-fu and macramé before you arrive Smile

And did you see the picture of his house? Never knew that they had haciendas with palm trees in Barnet Smile

Edit: A little more mangled English for Mr J to wade through:

Quote:
Most Tumescent greeting Mr Johnsonhill

I glad you my mail understand as English I learn and not perfect translate from Cantonese I can yet do so word maybe wrong and agitated. I try hard the luminous English write to make!

A most happy I have at mail for to get and accept of au pear to your small infant Brenda make. Assuring you of most attention to details will make and not one worry about security of child will you have as dragon will make most protective force for child. Recall in first mail tell you I has versed in special Chinese art of kung-fu and macramé for make martial arts and crafts and any person make attack against child get full power of divine wind follow by claw/claw smackdown and then humiliation of small crochet doily for head! Most safe will your child be in all excursions to school, church, playground and meeting of young pioneers (little red book waving!).

However must excuse but as being dragon of China being here in China not Christian or clappy noise make for Jesus and Mary chain. Here in China dragon and person follow teaching of Confucius with all filial piety. However most respect I have for Christ God persons and not problem go to church to do. Will curl up at back and not get in way but cannot to front go to eat little biscuit and drink red red wine which go to my head. You have an understanding? Make not problem I have the hoping.

Most excellent house you have! Very impressive!! You have pavilion out the back for dragon to sleep in? Yes?

I have an asking? UK Border Authority to make for contact me or contact you them make?

I wait on rock on mountain with folded wing for you reply.

Detonations!

_________________
so dont push my spirit to do a bad fasting for your head if not you will confam your self as a died person okay - Pastor Divine
OBOSH WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL NEVER SEE GOOD THING IN LIFE. OGUN WILL KILL YOU BASTARD SUN OF OBOSH. - Dr Oilyseagoon
AN ALIEN YOU ARE FROM THE PIT OF HELL - Abraham
I have explain this whole process to you so many times over and over again. - Spencer
Safari Praveen - Hanuman Junction - Hyderabad x2
Safari Bola - Accra - Cotonou Safari Alex - Accra - Abidjan Safari Austin - Accra - Abidjan
Safari George - Accra - Cotonou - Lome - Niamtougou Safari Toks London - Milford Haven
pony pony pony Mortar Closed lad accounts x170 Czech Republic Easter Egg 2011 Sand Timer Engineer Cooke vs. Temeraire x8
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psychicbait
Mistress of Piggies


Joined: 22 Nov 2009
Posts: 2782
Location: wherever, dressed to kill


PostPosted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 7:31 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ah, sunshine.
You´ve actually made me laugh
puff the magic dragon wrote:
...and meeting of young pioneers (little red book waving!).


Thanks for bringing a little lightness to such a vicious scam and here´s hoping you administer much macraméed pain to this bastard.

_________________
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"There is so much problems which you caused." Rev. Father Chris Ub@
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Sand Timer x 3
Thanks to the Fae!
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