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 Why do all the stupid lads come to me?

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thomas-the-tank
Elite Baiter


Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Posts: 1087
Location: Wherever I want the lads to think I am


PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 6:46 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Classic just arrived:

  
Quote:
   Forgive my indignation if this message comes to you as a surprise and if it might offend you without your prior consent and writing through this channel. I am Hun. M0hammed G. [email protected]@b@ (any relation to Atilla, I wonder?) Chairman,Contract Awarding Committee of the Economic Development Community of all Ecowas Regions in Africa. Before going into my proposal to you, I wish to first of all at this first stage torch the most interesting and important part (burning down the house) of this proposal which I believe it will interest you to hear also, that we conclusively agreed with the African financial Controller and the ECOBANK central Governor that all fees/charges of all overdue contactors payments will be fully deducted from their contract funds. So you are 100% guaranteed that there will be no upfront payment of any fees at all in  this transaction by you until the successful end of the funds transfer into your nominated bank account.

Based on the fees deductions agreement with the Finance Ministries all overdue contracts payment will be made through ECOBANK correspondent Bank in Asian that is authorized to for deductions fees from all beneficiaries contract sum at the bank (clear now?). Now to the deal, I and my two other colleagues are willing to transfer the total sum of USD152.M (One Hundred and Fifty two Million United States Dollars only (that's all?).) into your personal or company`s bank account if you are willing and capable of handling the deal with us.

As it may interest you to know, This fund was a residue of the over invoiced contract bills awarded by us for the supply of ammunitions, hard/soft ware’s, pharmaceuticals/medical item ,lightened heavy duty vehicles (as opposed to the heavy heavy duty vehicles), appeals (uh?) and other administrative logistics etc for the ECOMOG in Sierria-Leone, Liberia,Guinea Bissau, Zaire/Congo in the Central African Republic during their Peace Keeping Projects.

This deal was deliberately hatched out and carefully protected with all the attendant lope holes sealed off (Damn lope holes. You never know what's going to come out of them). As the top officials of (C.A.C), we have the cooperation and mandate of the ECOWAS communities Financial Controller West Africa , and the Secretary of our Organization. We arranged and over invoiced the contract funds (guess those lope holes weren't that well sealed) supplied by different companies from different countries during the crisis.

It was our consensus to seek the assistance of a willing foreigner to provide us with the facilities to transfer this money out of Africa. This is borne out of our belief in the non-stable and spurious political nature of this sub-region (a phrase to love and treasure). However you must note that all the original contractors have been duly paid by the (ECOWAS) through the same ECOBANK correspondent bank in Asian. This balance is suspended in the escrow accounts awaiting claims by any foreign company of our choice. We intend to pay out
this fund NOW as the organization has winded its activities (I'd be winded, too, after all those activities) and peace been retuned (I hate out of tune peace, don't you?) into the countries which means the coast has been achieved (yeah, sure. whatever.).

>>> snip of standard business arrangements - 30 me, 70 them, etc. <<<<<

REPLY ASAP.
With regards.
Hun. [email protected] G. [email protected]@b@.

One of the bargain basement scripts here, I think.

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Mega Bandit
419Eater is my life


Joined: 04 Jul 2009
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 7:41 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The guy who wrote this script could rival the great Peter Chimaera. He should start writing bad fanfiction. He could sell it to English speakers as comedy and make a living doing that, instead of scamming.

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Popiejopie
Master Baiter


Joined: 23 Apr 2010
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:18 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I'd love one of those. My first bait, and I'm stuck with a lad who takes himself too seriously.. can't really have fun with the guy at all, he's soooo slow..
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wowwow
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Joined: 14 Apr 2009
Posts: 1787
Location: Here is the picture of the cash in the boxes before we send it down to the company to deposited it


PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:55 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
As the top officials of (C.A.C), we have the cooperation and mandate of the ECOWAS


Sounded like he made these acronyms up, but actually

CAC - Corporate affairs Commission in Nigeria, regulates the formation and management of companies.

ECOWAS - Economic Community of West African states , promotes trade and co-operation and self-reliance in West Africa.

But I think they should stand for.

CAC - corrupt and clique

ECOWAS - every corrupt organisation was African surely

Smile

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Last edited by wowwow on Fri Jun 04, 2010 11:28 am; edited 1 time in total
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Technomancer
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Joined: 08 Dec 2009
Posts: 671
Location: Sailing the infinite sea of the Net


PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 11:22 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Those scripts are almost as funny to read as the joke ones.
The lads who really love to show off their English skills by writing really long-winded letters with as many long words as they can possibly cram in. But the grammar and/or spelling still sucks.

Can always make up a few long words of your own to expand his vocabulary Wink

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thomas-the-tank
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 11:28 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Talking of the joke ones - this is one I composed for a friend who despises the whole MBA thing as much as I do, and who enjoys 100% free risky-free letters from West Africa:
Quote:
I write to in utmost confidentiality regarding this master, in the sincerest hope and understanding of your forgiveness and utmost comprehension and compassion.

I would like to introduce myself. Am Dr Professor Harbuckle Edward JAMES by name and Dean of West Dakota School of Business Studies and Nostril Hygiene in the Unted State of America. Recently I was looking around some old flies, when your name, estemmed friend, was discovered on one of same. I have discovered that you are in rightful possession of a MBA which is belonging to you as a 100% risky-free investment for your future. For many this will act as international passport for fame fortune and instant success with women which permit celery increase for up to over 354% per anum. For MBA as is wellknown to all is most precious and valuable letter.

To claim your MBA, please make immediate payment of $4500 thousand US dollars by Westen Union to:

NAME.......: MR MKWALE MARTINS
CITY.... LAGOS, NIGERIA
QUESTION.....: WHO TO TRUST?
ANSWER...THE LORD

When transaction is made, please inform me at earlist chance of MTCN. The payment of $4500 dollars will be for the certificate and registration of same as well as delivery by diplomat to your doorpost at home or office. Once again I ask your favors in keeping ABSOLUTELEY CONFIDENCE until the MBA is delivered.

With sincere
Doctor Professor Engineer Harbuckle Edward KAMES
Dane, West Dakota Schoo

_________________
"You body parts will picked on the scene of a fatal accident that you will be involved in seven days time"
"I hate associating with men who are camelions"
"I have knowledge in goats since i learnt that in way back in secondary institution."
"I have come to learn the world is pregnant."
"Besides i am on a GLOBAL ASSIGNMENT WITH THE UN, so be reasonable and leave insults"
"suck your blood untill you resemble stockfish"


United Kingdom x 3 x 2 Ivory Coast Australia x 2 Benin
Safari Wole A x 4!! :
pony pony pony pony Goat <= don't ask about the goat! Inventor

Last edited by thomas-the-tank on Fri Jun 04, 2010 11:33 am; edited 1 time in total
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wowwow
Elite Baiter


Joined: 14 Apr 2009
Posts: 1787
Location: Here is the picture of the cash in the boxes before we send it down to the company to deposited it


PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 11:31 am Reply with quoteBack to top

technomancer found a new species and didn't even know it Wink


The Show Off (Bigshotus technomanceria): Lads who really love to show off their English skills by writing really long-winded letters with as many long words as they can possibly cram in. But the grammar and/or spelling still sucks.

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Please do not contact anybody again expect me on here because they are many hijackers on internet SGT Tony Benson
OK IF THERE IS A BULLET IN YOUR HEAD IS THAT ENOUGH PROOF Devil Killer Squad
YOU CALL THE F B I BASTARDS. YOU WILL SUFFER FOR THIS. WE HAVE TRACED YOU WITH ALL YOUR DETAILS FBI WARNS
I am the person who owns the safe firm in UK but right now on sick bed for my heart surgery due to my heart failure M Efosa
Tell them to go to hell and burn to arches Prince Jerry Zulusofola
I don’t have job, I am a hacker, hacking jawing stick and Sachet water Udeh Ebuka
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=162469
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dralasite
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 18 May 2010
Posts: 24


PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 3:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Technomancer wrote:
Can always make up a few long words of your own to expand his vocabulary Wink


I did that just recently. I told my lad I'm sure out transaction was "most cromulent" and would "embiggen" both of us. (Which are both jokes stolen from The Simpsons.) Interestingly enough, the lad said the next email he would work towards the most cromulent transaction possible. the funyn thing is, I wasn't trying to get him to parrot it back to me, I just wanted to see if he'd notice they weren't real words.

So if anyone ever gets a lad calling things cromulent... that's because of me. heh.
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Technomancer
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Joined: 08 Dec 2009
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 4:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

wowwow wrote:
technomancer found a new species and didn't even know it Wink

Yay, at last, I'm famous for something!
(Well, famous for something that doesn't involve causing power failures!)

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I went to the Mr Biggs' drive-in...
Nurse Nastys Audi TT And all I got was this lousy Easter Egg with fries! Easter Egg Mc Fry

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Bolleboos
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Joined: 07 Sep 2009
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 6:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

thomas-the-tank wrote:
Talking of the joke ones - this is one I composed for a friend [...] who enjoys 100% free risky-free letters from West Africa

Technically, that makes you a badger. Wink

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Dutch
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 6:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@TTT: To answer your initial question: Because you deserve them. Laughing



Quote:
that is authorized to for deductions fees

First time I read 'de-education fees.' It looks like he spent a fortune on those.

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