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Jasper
419Eater is my life


Joined: 31 Mar 2009
Posts: 327


PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 1:43 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I need some advice here. I got one of my love lads last June. I know he is definately a lad, there is no question there. He has been doing everything he can to convince my character to come see him. He says he is in love with my character, and wants to marry her and spend his life with her. (of course), typical love lad stuff. The lad is using his real pics. He puts his web cam on every single day.
Now, the lad told my character he had 2 brothers. He said he was the oldest. He has always begged me to call his mother, which I have never done. The lad is in The Gambia, but he is from Nigeria. He said his family is in Nigeria. He said his father died when he was young, and his mother has always taken care of him and his brothers.

The problem: The lad decided to surprise me tonight. We had just started chatting, when he said his younger brother was online. He asked me to add his brother so I could talk to him. So I did. The lad's "brother" was chatting me, and even put on his web cam. He was in his bedroom, obviously it's late in Nigeria. In no time at all, I saw another guy with the "brother". My love lad said that was his other brother. Then, a short time later he asked if I could see his younger ones. I asked him how many brothers he had, and he said 3. Then he told me he also has 2 sisters. The lad never told me about the sisters at all, and had only said he had 2 brothers before this. Of course, lads lie. I'm not sure why he never told me how many brothers and sisters he really had and why he would lie about it.
Now, everything seemed to be going fine. Then his brother told me brb, and disappeared. My love lad then said he went to go wake up his mother! Next thing I know, sure enough, a very tired, half asleep, older woman was on the web cam. She looked so tired, but was happy and smiling. She said she was so happy to talk to me and she couldn't wait to meet me. (The lad had said he told his mother all about "me" and that we are going to get married.)

This is where my problem is. I don't know what the deal is, or what to think. I have had no problems baiting this lad up till now. He is indeed a scammer. I thought he had decided to use me to get himself to the US and all that, and he has had no problem asking me for money from day one, using all the tactics love lads use on their victims. He knows I have had doubts about him. I even created a "fake lad" at one point that told my character the lad was a scammer. I also busted him not long ago being on dating sites, talking to other women the whole time he's been talking to my character and calling her his wife. (I do like to bust lads for cheating on me) I don't know if they set this up, as a way to "prove" he is not a scammer and is serious about marrying her, maybe to take away any doubts my character has, or if it was just something that happened.
I felt bad that they woke this poor woman up, regardless if it's really his mother or not. She clearly had been sleeping. Is this something love lads will do to help take doubt away from their victims? Or what?

I'm not sure what I should do. I don't know if I should drop the lad, because I do not want any innocent people getting caught up in it somehow. Or if I should continue with things as they are. (I'm sure we will be right back to him begging me to call his mother, and I'm not sure if any of his "family" will mail me or not) Lads do sometimes talk about their families, and I've had lads tell me about their family, and have me talk to "members of their family" before. Maybe this web cam thing is no different than that? I don't know. It was just a complete surprise seeing all these people on the web cam like that, and has made me curious about the whole thing. I do realize that may not have even been his family, and it could have been anyone.
Sorry for the rambling. I'm trying to describe what happened and the problem I'm having without making it too long or complicated. I thought maybe someone here has encountered this sort of thing before and would know what I should do.

Jasper

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Corona
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Joined: 21 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 2:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I'd play it my friend and see what happens. Very Happy

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irishemigrant
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 2:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

If you have doubts, drop him. If he is a lad, there will be other times for him, if you think he may be possibly, possibly genuine, rather than beat yourself up over it, drop him

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Corona
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 2:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Well, irish may be right! Wink

Edit: ^^Don't know why I just wrote that. Embarassed

It is a lad and keep playing. Wink

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Last edited by Corona on Tue Apr 27, 2010 3:18 am; edited 1 time in total
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mr.scissorkick
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Joined: 03 Feb 2009
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 2:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Has he lied in order to get money out of you? Or just begged on account of love? Because he may just be a manipulating beggar. It's like a cousin to the scammer.

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Jasper
419Eater is my life


Joined: 31 Mar 2009
Posts: 327


PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 12:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks guys. Yes, The lad has lied in order to get money out of me, many times. I have no doubt he is a lad. I think when I first acquired the lad, he maybe was new at scamming. I'm not sure. I came to this conclusion because when he first started chatting with me, I could clearly see an older man off to the side on cam, coaching him. The man would read what I wrote, and tell the lad what to type. (I'm certain this is what was going on)
The lad has tried to manipulate me before, and tried to make my character feel sorry for him with his lies, but it has never worked and he knows it. He's been waiting for his payday for so long. My character has sent him money a few times, but it's not her fault he hasn't received it. Wink The more I think about it, I believe this was probably planned out. I think the lad knows my character has some doubt in the back of her mind about him. I'm pretty sure the "family on web cam" thing was simply to help erase any doubt she has about him. It really threw me off when it happened. I've been thinking about it, though, and I should not have been surprised.

His "friend" had done something similar in a way. He claimed to work at a charity center as a "football coach" for young boys, and actually had these children come to the cafe so my character's friend could see these boys on web cam. He did this when she still had not sent money to him after she agreed to do it. The rat bastard was using these children for his scamming. It made me sick. After he had done that, I decided to do something to make sure he really was a scammer. This "charity" even has a web site, so after seeing these children on web cam, I started having doubts. That character was in a car accident on her way to WU, and was in the hospital. While she was in the hospital, he still demanded she find a way to send him money. When she couldn't, he insisted she sign herself out of the hospital and go do it. She had a broken femur (compound fracture), some broken ribs and a damaged kidney. But he did not care about that. He even told her to walk to the WU, since she had no car now, as it had been destroyed in the accident. He did not care about how much pain she was in, he did not care that she had a broken leg. He insisted she walk on that leg to go send him money. She did, and ended up having complications that included her leg being amputated, but he did not care even still. He proved he was a heartless, rat bastard scammer who only cared about himself. I ended up dropping this lad. He was a relentless rat bastard, and he made my blood boil. If anyone would like to have a go at him, let me know. He could use all the pain he can get.

I'll see how things go with this lad. I may or may not drop him. He seems to enjoy the pain I give him, and even made me promise I'd keep him forever. Shocked We'll see...

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well i really don't no wat ass to say to u than telling u that u own me - Paul

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Branwen
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Joined: 18 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 4:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

One of my long-term Lads (the one who provided my lower signature quote) uses not only his real photographs, but also photographs (and, I believe, real names of) his family. He also chats very openly, and is a mine of information about life in Lagos. He gives my character Yoruba language lessons, too, and will translate anything I offer to him.

He's a Lad. Some digging has proved that he also poses as a female, looking for love. But he is also a Lad-all-alone, trying his hand at scamming, and not really doing very well. The fact that he is a Lad is enough for me: I'm not going to give him the chance to review and improve.

I've had another one for a year. Oh, he's so Laddish! My character has been VILE to him. And he loves her anyway. He fell in love with her from the second email. He's not one of my sand-timers, though. In fact, I've dumped him now. I'm just not 100% sure he really is a scammer. He might be an opportunist, looking for entry to my character's country. But he's hinting and pushing, still - not directly lying and scamming. So, even after all this while, I've dropped him.

He's had a million tragedies this past year. Everyone in his family has got sick, died, gone bankrupt. He's had to 'move countries' three times. That's why I kept him going. I was ever-waiting for the money request. After a year, I realised it might not ever happen. He might be a Very Useless - and shy! - Scammer. Or he might be telling the truth, and also longing to escape to a better life.

If you are making up your mind what best to do: be boring, being a boring penfriend, let any love drift away, meet a local partner, fall in love with someone else, talk about cleaning products and the grass growing another millimeter, your bad temper, how you like picking your nose, generally turn him off. You still might not reach any conclusion and you might, like with my second Lad, decide to drop him anyway. But you can at least 'wind down' any hope of love he has in you, before you do that. That's a kind thing to do.

If he still keeps writing, despite your off-putting conversation, yes, he might be a beggar, yes he might be a schemer. Doubtful he'll be for real. But you will have still, just in case, let him down gently. And 'manipulation' alone is a good reason to drop him.

Your correspondent does sound more like a Lad to me. But go with your conscience. Always.

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Jasper
419Eater is my life


Joined: 31 Mar 2009
Posts: 327


PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 7:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks for moving this here, Branwen. I really wasn't sure where to put it when I first posted it.

This love lad is really something. He gives my character Yoruba lessons, like yours does, and has even tried teaching her Pidgin English. He's paranoid at times. If we are chatting, and my character takes more than a tenth of a second to reply him, he's immediately asking her what she's doing, asking is she's talking to someone else, or if she doesn't feel like talking to him that day. I purposely wait and take my time replying him when we chat. I pick fights with him, and argue with him every chance I get, too. I've tried talking about things I thought would bore him. It sort of backfired on me. Laughing One day I was talking to him about my hair, hair care products, etc. I was bitching about how I hated the damp weather, cause it makes my hair frizzy. The lad immediately jumped in that topic head first! Apparently, he LOVES hair. He started asking her questions about the products she uses, making suggestions about things she could try. He even begged her to let him take care of her hair when she "goes to see him", because he loves to do that sort of thing. Shocked
I'll have to find some topics he doesn't like, maybe come up with some weird stuff and see if I can put him off. If all else fails, I do have something that might work...

My character has a best friend who is a guy. The lad knows about him, and has chatted with him before, although it was a while back. So, what I can always do is have my character and her friend fall in love and get married. I'll try to get his interest off of her first.

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well i really don't no wat ass to say to u than telling u that u own me - Paul

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Taj Mahal
419Eater is my life


Joined: 17 Apr 2010
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 10:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

oh, just tell him you're a transexual, see if he still loves you.

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Ivana
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 852
Location: Beautiful Hot Springs


PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2010 12:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

lol on several occasions all through my "lad relationship" I would mention varied friends (male & female) and be very helpful to them --

they would fix my car, I'd take them to the dr's, we'd go on vacation, to each other's house for dinner (especially when I was broke)...and I mentioned the same friends almost every conversation...

when I get bored I have a male friend express interest in me, which shocks me, and the more I think about it the more sense it would make to be involved with this friend...after all, during the entire time he's been hard working, honest, caring, a true friend, etc...

talk about watching a lad do some fast talking and giving out warnings -- lmao

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internationalchrysis
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Joined: 19 Aug 2008
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PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 7:08 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I tried once, just for the hell of it, to write to my character from another character just for shits and giggles, and then used that character to say that the scammer was trying to steal my girl..

it's been awhile, maybe I should try that again...

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