One of the modalities I use for max lad frustration

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Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 11:01 pm

Had a very entertaining YM conversation with a lad. He put a picture of a caucasian male, in his early 50's, shaven head and wearing glasses.

Quote:

me: wan wash wang?
me: oh wan sea wang wash wang?
parcelexpress_delivery: how are you doing today
me: why mailed me wite boy?
me: u luk old man
parcelexpress_delivery: yes
parcelexpress_delivery: my name is Mr. Jam Baba
me: white nation u are?
parcelexpress_delivery: i am in UK-London
me: u white boy?
me: see white for eyed man want no answer
parcelexpress_delivery: I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your Confirmable Bank Draft of $500, 000, 00 (FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATE DOLLARS) but I did not hear from you since for a couple of weeks now. Then I went to the bank to confirm if the draft has expired or getting near to the date of expire and Dr. James the Director Bank of London told me that it will take up to (Ten 10 working days) before the draft will expire, as I will be out of the country for a Six (6) Months Course and I will not come back till Ending of JUN 2010.
me: na u take slow for eyed white boy
me: i no speak engris wel
parcelexpress_delivery: Further more I want you to use this fund for the support of God work and also for you to help the poor once among you, so this is why I have handover this parcel to Mr. Jam Baba, that once you contact him you will have to pay only the sum of $175 for Security up keeping of your parcel and I want you to know that this fund is from the christen home to support the world.
me: want explain white boy?
me: i no speak engris wel
parcelexpress_delivery: what do you speak?
parcelexpress_delivery: What you have to do now is to contact PARCEL EXPRESS COURIER SERVICES as soon as possible to know when they will deliver your Bank Draft to you because of the expiring date. For your information, I have paid for the delivering Charge, Insurance premium.
me: me speak pravi
parcelexpress_delivery: ok
parcelexpress_delivery: but i cant speak pravi
me: me see u cant speak language
parcelexpress_delivery: yes
me: me no understand wat u want
parcelexpress_delivery: i cant
parcelexpress_delivery: okay
parcelexpress_delivery: you have a package
parcelexpress_delivery: and i have to deliver to you
me: pakagee? vat pakagee?
parcelexpress_delivery: it content is a confirmable Bank Draft of $500,000.00USD
me: vat?
me: vat for mony?
parcelexpress_delivery: yes
parcelexpress_delivery: you have been compensated
me: vat for compensation?
me: i yak herder
parcelexpress_delivery: so now in other to deliver it to you
parcelexpress_delivery: you will have to pay the security keeping fee
parcelexpress_delivery: only $175
parcelexpress_delivery: via Western Union Money Transfer
parcelexpress_delivery has buzzed you!
me: vat is Western Onion?
parcelexpress_delivery: you dont have western union in your countery
parcelexpress_delivery: ?
parcelexpress_delivery: where you will send the money to Mr. Sunny Michael
me: me noo not vot western onion is
me: sum kin vegetable gud tu it?
parcelexpress_delivery: you will have to go to the Bank and ask them
parcelexpress_delivery: or any Gas station
parcelexpress_delivery: tell them you want to make a western uion to Mr. Sunny Michael
me: wot is gas sation?
parcelexpress_delivery: Address: #234 parcel way Lagos Nigeria
me: were iz dat?
parcelexpress_delivery: give me your information
parcelexpress_delivery: 1, Full Name:............
2, Address of Residence:..........
3, country from:..................
4, Telephone Number:.................
5, Occupation:....................
6, Age:.........................
me: aaa, yu wite, yu bald, yu for eyed
me: yu rrusian
parcelexpress_delivery: Test question: How are you?

Text answer: Fine

me: me no undriestud vot yu say
me: yu vant 175 heads?
parcelexpress_delivery: yes
parcelexpress_delivery: in American dollars
me: den yu pay 20 rubles for head
me: da, rski?
me: me spek ruski more gud dan engris
me: yob tvoiu mati, da?
me: pay 3500 rubles, da?
me: or no 175 yuk tu yu
parcelexpress_delivery: u have to pay your delivery charges
me: me no undierstud
me: u wan buy yuk or no wan buy yuk?
me: me put reklama, me sell yuk, yuk yung, yuk milk, yuk butter
me: yu no wan buy yuk?
me: me sell yuk skin, bare skin, fore skin, dog skin, wolf skin
me: u no wan buy fore skin? iz chip
me: cinese buy much fore skin, make sup
me: sey gud for old man
me: yu old man
me: fore skin sup gud for yu
parcelexpress_delivery: what do u want?
me: me sell yuk, yuk yung, yuk milk, yuk butter
me: u wan buy yuk or no wan buy yuk?
parcelexpress_delivery: are u crazy or mad?
me: vot yu say?
mr: me trader
me: trade yuk skin, bare skin, fore skin, dog skin, wolf skin
me: yuk, yuk yung, yuk milk, yuk butter
parcelexpress_delivery: e be like say u no want see tomorrow
parcelexpress_delivery: u want dead?
me: me not undriestud
me: dead vat?
parcelexpress_delivery: go
parcelexpress_delivery: am not interested
parcelexpress_delivery: \byeeeeeeeeee
me: oh, u no vant buy skin or yuk
me: den vy yu sent mail?
me: yu make joke
me: na zdarovia pizdyiat meg halto layios homalau futincurist
me: yu make wang luz time
me: yu no serius buyer
me: me shud now, wite man no gud buyer
me: oh, mebbe wite man wit for eyes wan fuck yuk
me: hav sum yung bich yuk in hit, gud for yu
me: yu can play yuk daddy

Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 11:13 pm

Anybody wanting to continue this (but with the same away-from-civilisation-exotic-animal-herder bad engrish knowledge theme) are more than welcome.

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