Scammer Genus

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Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 2:47 pm

Lots of misquoting lads.
Here's a priceless one.

The Catachresis (Metaphorus illiteratus) Misquoting lad who uses mixed metaphors.

Quote:

Nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth I have learned from my private investment clients.

???
What about if someone brought you a pile of diamonds, which would quite easily fit on a platter of gold.
And if someone brought you a just a platter of gold then that would inconsequentially be riches in itself.

The Gimp (Sadoistia nutsia) Lad who claims to be held as a sex slave in some strange old woman's bondage brothel.

Quote:

All i do is eat,sex, abused, flogged by thongs etc. and as i am talking to you i think my own time is up cos i can feel it. but that is not the issue, her life is very terrible and not a straight life, she is into human trafficing and pipings. which if i ever tot of using it against her, then i will die like a chicken cos her connection in bristol is too much.. so the best i can do is use what i have to get what i want so that tomorrow anything goes wrong. i will not just be on the street of london.

Lucky him ..
beating

Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 11:53 pm

wowwow wrote:

The Grifter (Pleadus Murderapolis) Pleading lad who asks you to send him a few coins in compensation for him loosing out on the big pot.

I had one like that a while back, who sent this to the one who'd chopped his dollar:

Quote:

guy how far, i know wetin you do oooooooooo,i know sey na you collect drogba money(3,500us$) na ma own share i con ask for.i beg just help me with some change if na 5,000naira i go manage am..no let anybody know ooooooo

Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 11:36 am

Another sub species of

The Confessor (Confessus tohellicum) Accidentally or purposefully owns up to being a scammer + criminal + scumbag

The Penitant (Repentus tohellicum) Lad who shows sorrow and regret for having done wrong, and begs for forgiveness.

Quote:

Good morning to you sir, my name is Mr. Larry Emeka Mb0h, i am highly interested with offer you gave to me as i have been in poverty for many years now.
Please sir, i want you to forgive me for lying to you before that there was money to transfer, it was all lies.
It is because of poverty that put me into that mess.
I am the first born in my family and i have a lot of brothers and sisters to take care of together with my parents.
Please sir, i want you to help me, i really need your help through this your offer. I am currently living in Cote D'Ivoire with my wife and two children.
I am a very strong man by the grace of God Almighty and can do any work to survive.

I once again plead for your forgiveness.

Yours son in the Lord,

Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 12:46 pm

The Identity Stealer (Identicus intercipio) Assumes the identity of the person you address your ASEM to (if any). Usually brings high entertainment value to your bait.

EDIT: Forgive me if this species has been discovered already - I gave up on going through the whole thread after reaching page 9. Razz

Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 1:18 pm

Please don't give up reading, there are some great bits in the 20's pages.
There is a long list here, complete up to beginning of year Smile

http://members.419eater.com/~wowwow/Scammer_Genus.html

We have

Quote:

The False Memory (Rememberus windypopsia) Lad who is fazed and insulted by the topic of the ASEM he received. But after a little prompting, pretends to remember sending it and responds accordingly.

The Cut & Shut (Snippia thankingarthurus) Lad who replies to your ASEM with what is clearly a variation of his script, which just doesn't quite fit.

The Anti-ASEM (Asemus kokoicum) A lad who responds to your ASEM with extreme suspicion and derision.

The Clueless (Wonderia tohellicum) Lad who is keen to know the content of the message he supposedly sent out to have received your ASEM reply.
Enjoy.

Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 2:16 pm

The Rick and Roller (Astelyus tohellicum) Lad whom you get so bored with you end up rick rolling him via email.

Quote:

i will definatly do that, im never gonna give you up, never gonna let you donw, never gonna run around and desert you. I will re-contact the lawyer as my phone has been broken and ive only just got it fixed, i shall email him tomorrow and let him know my phone is repaired

yours Dr JOhn

love in christ

The Scrupulous (Nulcriminalus tohellicum) Rare lad who actually seems to have some scruples when you suggest that you will rob a bank to get the cash to pay his fee. Perhaps he's more worried you'll get locked up and be unable to pay him anything.

Quote:

Dear friend,
Before your letter i receive a letter from your friend that you are going to email me. Listen i advice you go and met your friend so that he can explain to you my last email today to you guys and note that i dont want you people to be a part of robbing bank because of the evacuation required fee, that is why i write to your friend to tell me how much?

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 1440

Quote:

The Scrupulous

I somehow doubt scruples enter into it, rather that if the victim is in jail, how will he get paid?

Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 3:00 pm

Indeed, highly unlikely, hence why he made it into the scammer genus Smile

The Parable (Injesusnamus illiteratus) Lads who attempt to introduce parables (as told by Jesus [sic]) into their scam e-mails. Perhaps to suggest innocence on their part as they live their god fearing lives. It's a shame this one is unable to spell as well as Jesus did. Apparently Jesus had perfect spelling and jotted the whole of the Bible down on the back of a napkin at the last supper in English without making any spelling mistakes at all Wink

Quote:

will be moving down to nigeria i am feeling very sick a good smaritian has promised to take me back home from, abaevche tomorrow but i will wait for rev bob at the njeamena bus park until tomorrow morning

N.B No Jesus wasn't [sic], look it up Razz

Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 4:03 pm

The Braggart (Scarus deathicum) Hit lads who give themselves scary or refer to themselves with boastful sounding names hoping that some poor old dear will be shaking in their shoes at the sound of it.

Quote:

What you sent to me is not real, don't you fucking understand simple english, that is not real slip from money gram, I have been using money gram before now, FUCK YOU. IDIOT. PLAY YOUR GAME WELL. MASTER OF ALL PLAYERS

Quote:

OK IF THERE IS A BULLET IN YOUR HEAD IS THAT ENOUGH PROOF Devil Killer Squad

Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 3:14 pm

The Promoter - Offers you the best job promotion.
Don't believe we have that one yet. Wink

Quote:

Good Day,

Sir,

I am contacting you with trust after being introduced to you by one of the U.N Peace Keeping in Ivory Coast; I’m a Cousin to former ousted President of Ivory Coast-Laurent Gbagbo,who has been arrested, and detained to be charged for war crime. I am inviting you to join me in a business transaction and eventual purchase of a Goldmine in the Republic of Ghana, where I’m taking asylum now.

We shall use you as the CEO of the company to be established and also purchase of the Gold mine which is valued at the tune of US$55Million, here in Ghana. Former President Laurent Gbagbo has deposited the above amount of money on my name, in a financial house in Ghana and I have been directed to utilize it for investment, but would need the cooperation and understanding of foreigner who is not residing in Africa, to receive the funds.

* You will be required to travel to Accra, Ghana for a meeting to sign an agreement with me and take possession of the fund.

* You will be the CEO of the Board of Directors of the company to be registered and use for the purchase of the Mines.

* Benefits accrue to you will be agreed upon, and included in the agreement of partnership to be sign by both parties at Accra. We are reliably informed that, the annual production is between 500, to 600
tons, this is supported by an audited account of current operator for the last 3 year.

Please note that you might have to stay in Accra Ghana for only five days with me to complete the Company registrations, claim of fund,
Opening of Bank Account and eventual purchase of the Goldmine. This is personal investments involving me, my Bank with you and your interest
is protected.

I will await your reply for me to explain to you in detail, Kindly reply through this email: [email protected]

Thanks and God Bless You.

Regards,

Mr. Andrew S.Gbagbo.
Tel: 233-268-538-804.

Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 12:36 pm

Indeed, although I do have to update the master list.
I'll use my naming prerogative Smile

The Alan Sugar (Apprentus mortalicum) Lad who offers fantastic job opportunities to total strangers.

Quote:

where I’m taking asylum now.

Yes you definitely belong in an asylum, preferably a high security one.

The Ivy League (Deltakappaus nutsia) Lad who boasts about his highfalutin education.

Quote:

Do you know that I’m a
graduate from one of the best University in the World…Harvard
University, and you insult your Lord? I go kill you if I grab u
Bastard.

They have a saying where I come from that might be apt here

"chinny reckon" ...
Laughing

Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2011 7:08 am

The General Ignorance (Stripus gallericum) Military lad who sends in pictures of his scamming persona in uniform but they don't match the rank he proposes that he is.

Quote:

the guy in the picture is not a Lt General. It's hard to see his shoulder ranks but I see bars, at least one. He's a Lieutenant or a Captain. Funny thing, in the other picture of him in uniform he has Sargent ranks in his sleeve.

Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2011 2:38 pm

wowwow wrote:

I'll use my naming prerogative Smile

Feel free to do so, since I'm not native english speaker, so much even more fitting names are completely unknown to me Very Happy

Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2011 6:09 pm

Mortal,

Quote:

The Alan Sugar (Apprentus mortalicum) Lad who offers fantastic job opportunities to total strangers.

perhaps I should have called him
The Donald Trump

.. Basically whoever is heading up the show 'The Apprentice' in your particular country

Smile

Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2011 6:18 pm

There's no such show over here Wink

But I get it.
Although I was talking in general as well...

Short version: If you want to rename it, feel free to do so, like you've always did.
I'm counting on you Very Happy

Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 12:22 pm

We already had

Quote:

The Lost in Translation (Translatus illiteratus)Lads who rely on Babelfish (men who count on the Babelfish) - Try it in Babelfish, English to French then from translated French to English

Now we have

The Tower of Babel (Babalus illiteratius) Lads who believe you are a non-English speaker and attempt to translate their poor English into other languages. Whether the translation is as bad as the original English, who knows.

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=204176&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=

Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:15 pm

The Shopper: When a lad reads that you were out shopping and then sends you his "shopping list" for things for your character to "pick up" for him before you "meet" him.

My character wrote:

I bought shoes, I still thought I was a size 8½ but I tried them on last night and they gave my feet so much pain and not to mention terrible blisters on the heels of my feet so Kay and I are going back to the Galeria mall to return them and check my shoe size as well.

The lad being greedy wrote:

when coming can you buy some shoes and other things for me?i will exchange them with some stones after closing our deal.my size is 44,i will also like some suits,my size is 58 and 38 trouses.Samsung Galaxy tab,e book.

Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:51 pm

Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 8:12 pm

Hi Koko,
I'm afraid NORA beat you to that one , great quotes though.

Quote:

The Oniomaniac (Nora bringforus) Lad who sends lengthy shopping lists of items he wants you to send/bring to sate his expensive tastes (or just stuff he knows he can sell on at a good profit).

You might want to ask for pictures of his feet Smile

, in fact you might be able to use his greed to further identify him. Say you need to get him fitted for a suit and should send photos for the 'Saville Row' tailor.

*di dit di dit di dit di dit* .. (yes that's some news pips)
Species Change Alert

Due to the amount of charity scammers at the moment, every natural disaster brings a new crop of them, they are getting their own genus.

"Charitia"

"dit di dit di dit dit" more damn news ..
I'm also making a change to the naming convention(binomial nomenclature), putting the Latin name the right way round, genus first (yes it was a bodge of mine originally)
In this way, when you send in your entires you will have them all named after your handle, which is now the genus.
e.g Genus = Nora, Species = Bringforus

The Virus (Charitia ebolus) Charity scam lad who pertains to be collecting for suffers of a virulent disease. Insert your deadly virus here (AIDS, Ebola, Rabies, Original Doritos)

Quote:

Global Alert and Response (GAR)

Ebola in Uganda

18 May 2011 - On 13 May 2011, the Ministry of Health (MoH) of Uganda notified WHO of a case of Ebola Haemorrhagic fever in a 12 year old girl from Luwero district, central Uganda. On 6 May she presented to a private clinic in Zirobwe town, Luwero district, with a 5-day history of an acute febrile illness with haemorrhagic manifestations. She was later referred to Bombo General Military Hospital where she died few hours after admission.

.. awww .. hang on let me get my wallet ..

The Retro (Nutsia ninties) Lad who is still using the technology of the 1990's.

Quote:

but I can't get this quote to work on my dial up connection.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMLH_QyPTYM&feature=BFa&list=SL&index=9

Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 2:40 pm

The Chat Twat (Chattus confusia) Chat lad who gets so confused during your conversation that he has to ask if you're male or female.

Quote:

12:30 PM Al-abgari: hello
12:31 PM hello Madam Anna
12:33 PM hello
12:34 PM me: Hello

..

12:57 PM me: I am in Iceland
12:57 PM Al-abgari: okay
so what is ur occulation
occuation
occupation
me: I work at a fish factory as an engineer.
Al-abgari: are u male or female
me: I beg your pardon?!?
12:58 PM I am female, obviously!
Al-abgari: are u a man or u are a woman
okay
pls how old are u
me: You called me 'Madam Anna', what do you think I am?!?
And it is very rude to ask a woman her age, mind you!
Al-abgari: i want to be sure
me: I don't care for manners like that.
12:59 PM Al-abgari: because i know one woman from west Africa who bear Anna too she is here in Libya b4 the war but i dont know if she died
i am sorry

Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 5:40 pm

^^I can find something else. Trust me. Twisted Evil

EDIT: Already did.

Sweden is Swiss- When a lad confuses Sweden with Switzerland many times even though you told him that it is Sweden NOT Switzerland.

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=203000

Me wrote:

Sorry I have not been able to write back. I have to go to Stockholm Sweden because we have no embassy in Finland and the nearest is in Stockholm.

Lad wrote:

The procedure down here is much so I called my traveling agent for advice and he told me that you will from Swiss Embassy to Nigeria Embassy there.

Me wrote:

went to the Swedish Embassy to try and get a visa to Nigeria and end up humiliated.

Lad wrote:

Right now you have to follow my instruction to enable you get your visa from the Nigerian embassy in Swiss down there.

Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 6:53 pm

How about we make it more generic

The European Loon-ion (Kokodkcium europa) Illiterate lad who gets an F in geography for confusing one European country with another.

.. hey waiter, I ordered the Smörgåsbord but got some melted cheese with a bit of bread on a stick instead!!

Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 1:58 pm

The Crocodile Tears (Nutsia Crocodylus) Lad who exudes pity, grief or false sentiment for a non-existent person, persons or tragic event.

Quote:

HE WAS A GOLD MERCHANT IN SIERRA LEONE AND HE WAS ASSASSINATED BY HIS BUSINESS PARTNERS, BUT BEFORE HE WAS KILLED HE HAS DEPOSITED THIS FUNDS BOXES HERE IN ACCRA-GHANA AND HIS ONLY SON WHO IS THE NEXT OF KIN WAS THE ONE WHO WAS TRYING TO CONVEY THE CONSIGNMENTS FUNDS BOXES TO YOU AS HIS FOREIGN BENEFICIARY.
BUT ITS A PITY MALCOLM THAT THIS YOUNG BOY WHO IS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE CONSIGNMENTS FUNDS BOXES IS DEAD NOW, HE FELT SICK SERIOUSLY AT THE REFUGEE CAMP HERE IN ACCRA-GHANA AND WAS TAKEN TO HOSPITAL BUT HE COULD NOT SURVIVED THE ILLNESS.
OH WHAT A YOUNG BOY, I FEEL FOR HIM.
BUT THE LATE YOUNG BOY WAS TRYING TO CONVEY TO YOU THE CONSIGNMENTS FUNDS BOXES AS HIS FOREIGN BENEFICIARY SO THAT HE CAN COME OVER TO MEET YOU AND STAY AND INVEST WITH THE FUNDS AND ALSO FOR HIM TO CONTINUE HIS EDUCATION BEFORE HE DIED,OH WHAT A PITY MALCOLM.
MALCOLM ATTACH IN THIS MESSAGE IS THE CERTIFICATE OF ORIGIN, THE CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT AND ALSO THE CERTIFICATE OF OWNERSHIP OF THE CONSIGNMENTS FUNDS BOXES.
SO NOW YOU NOW KNOW WERE THE CONSIGNMENTS FUNDS BOXES ORIGINATED FROM, SO GET BACK TO ME AS URGENT WITH YOUR COMPLETE DELIVERY ADDRESS SO THAT I START MAKING ARRANGEMENT WITH THE SHIPMENT OF THE CONSIGNMENTS FUNDS

Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 9:25 pm

Strange Relations: When a Lad ascribes a degree of kinship between man and object.

Quote:

THIS YOUNG BOY WHO IS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE CONSIGNMENTS FUNDS BOXES

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 3:39 pm

Strange Relations (Yastrebicum Festerus) When a Lad ascribes a degree of kinship between man and object.

.. Festerus from Uncle Fester .. strange relation Smile