John Steemer Gets His Hands On A Shark- Updated 9/4/04

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 5:55 am

So I am currently in a bait with a mugu that calls himself Captain Smitter Shark. Just the name alone had me laughing, so that is why I decided to start baiting him. The bag of tricks is open, and it's starting to get pretty fun.

John Steemer returns to test the waters that the Shark swims in.........

Quote:

No 10 SCHOOLMAN STREET
PRETORIA-SOUTH AFRICA

DEAR SIR/MADAM,

SUBJECT: BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY.

First, I am Capt. SMITTER SHARK, from the Republic of
Liberia. I am residing currently on the above address
and I was the officer in command of personal security to
the exiled President of Liberia, Mr. CHARLES TAYLOR,
currently in the eastern state of nigeria-calabar.

If you have been following the news, you should be aware
that the united nations security council in
collaboration with the government of united states of
America, the armed wing of the ecowas, the executive wing
of the African union (au) and many other heads of state
in Africa mandated Charles Taylor to live his office as
a president and go into exile in Nigeria for the interest
of peace in the war thorn Liberia.

As his well known security commander, I had no other
choice than to live with him for my dear life. As a
matter of fact, I was not fully in support of all the
attrocities committed by my boss but due to the fact
that I was under his pay roll, I had no choice than to
do the job assigned to me by his authority.

He told me in confidence that he has no other choice
than to live the country and since we, his loyalist are
known to Liberians that we will also live for security
reasons. Since he has in his possession billions of
dollars in cash which he realized from the illegal sell
of the countries diamond, he shared among us the sum of
US$10 million each and I decided to come to south Africa
with mine.

I really wanted to establish my self here but now there
are news going on that he must be brought to book for
war crime against humanity. If this happens according
to the African culture, all those that served under him
will also be questioned and might probably be jailed
along with him.

So this has prompted me to look for a way of emigrating
to anywhere outside this country with my money for my
life sake. So the purpose of contacting you is to
assist me in providing all necessary means of
transferring this money to an oversea account and help me
come over there to settle with my family.

I am not ignorant of the fact that many people has been
misled in various business activities and many has lost
their hard earned money in other relationship but if you
can give me a chance to proof myself, we will work
together and enjoy this money both of us.

Please if you decide to help me, you can call me on
0027-83-436-3498 or fax me on 0027-83-466-6671 or on
other hand, you can write me on this same email address.
Please there is every need for you to keep this
information as secret and if you are not interested,
please kindly delete it and call it a mistake.

There is no risk in helping me and for your settlement,
I will offer you 20% of the total money should you wish
to help me out. Every strategy for a smooth transfer of
this money has been put in place and what is left is just
a little thing.

Looking forward towards hearing from you.

I remain,
Yours faithfully,
SMITTER SHARK.

Quote:

Dear Mr. Smitter Shark,
You have a wonderful name. It just rolls right off of your tongue. I would love to take you up on your business opportunity. Please let me know what to do. Thanks.
Sincerely,
John Steemer

A little time goes by, so John decides to stir the pot........

Quote:

Dear Captain Shark,
Are we ready to proceed? Please let me know. Thanks.
Sincerely,
John Steemer

Fucking finally! This schmuck replies.

Quote:

DEAR JOHN STEEMER,

Thanks once again for your reply and I am glad that you are
back and did not loose my email address. I have already
sent you a detailed mail explaining what exactly to do how
to proceed and it is unfortunately that you loose that
mail. I will use this opportunity again to inform you on
the necessary things to be done and the exact steps to
follow.

1) You will assure me of your sincerity, honesty and
willingness to assist me in this transaction by providing
me with the following, (A) Your direct telephone and fax
numbers. (B) A copy of your international passport. (C)
Your residential and business addresses. (D) The exact
business you do and the position you hold in that business.
2) On receipt of the above things detailed in No one above,
a beneficiary change of ownership of the money in the
security company where I kept the money for safety will be
done immediately from my name to your own name and I will
send you the certificate of ownership in your name to
confirm this to enable you have access to the money.
3) After securing the beneficiary change of ownership, you
will provide me with your account number there where this
fund will be transferred so that I can confirm it.
4) After confirming your account details to be true and
competent enough to accommodate this fund, now you will
arrange to come down here where you will be required to
sign an agreement with me and open an account here where
the fund will be deposited for an onward transfer over
there as I am not allowed to operate any good bank account
here because I am a refugee.
5) On confirmation of your ability and willingness to come
down here, I will secure all necessary approvals and
certificates in your name here from the government
department to enable a successful, legal and hitch free
transfer of t his money over there.

Yours stay here would be for three working days only and
there is no risk involved in this transaction. So inform me
on your decision and endeavor to keep this confidential.

Yours faithfully,

SMITTER SHARK.

So, in my typical fashion, UB beats John Steemer to the punch with a reply......

Quote:

U GUYMAN I NO DAT I STEAL YOUR MAGA JOHN STEEMER U DON
NO DAT STAY AWY FROM MY MAGA MURDERFUCKER! I GIV U TO
BEAST OF THA AIR OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
GUYMAN KEEP OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I HACK YOU EMAIL
ADRESS STEAL MAGA MAIL
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JOHN
STEEMER MAGA IS MINE NOW!!!!!!!!!!SMELLY ASHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quote:

I get this reply from Smitter:

DEAR JOHN,

There is some one that wrote to me last night and he said
that his name is USMAN BELO. Please can you explain to me
about this person and what type of business that you have
with me.

Yours faithfully,

SMITTER SHARK.

So, I triple email him in the same day. I think that this works as a good tactic because it makes the mugu think that you are just as anxious as he/she is. I also like it because they might go for the throat quicker, and that is my favorite.

My first reply:

Quote:

Dear Captain Shark,
Please accept my apology for lack of response and the last demeanor of my last email. I have been very busy on a business trip as of late, and I have just returned home, only to find out that my Man Servant, Mr. Myagi crashed the hard drive on my computer while looking at porn. He must have downloaded a virus of some sort. So needless to say I am a little angry. I will whip him good. I want to also apologize if it seemed that I was taking out my frustrations on you.

I am very glad however that I saved your email address on my Palm Pilot Handheld Computer mechanism, because any and all of our prior correspondence has been deleted. But I just wanted to drop you a quick line to let you know that I am at home now, and I am more than ready to proceed. Please let me know what it is that you require of me. Thanks for all of your hard work and cooperation.
Sincerely,
John Steemer

And my second reply, and I finally answer his questions for him:

Quote:

Dear Captain Shark,
First off, I have no idea who Usman Belo is. I have
never heard of him. If you'd like, I'll use some of my
connections in the insurance business to do a little
research on him, perhaps? I might. I can. I should. I
will.

Next, here are the answers to the questions and
concerns that you have for me.

You can trust me. I was a Boy Scout until the ripe age
of 27, so trust is the basis of all of my
relationships. For a living, I am an insurance agent
for a very big company called Casualties Life. We are
a very big company, I think that there are around
21,000 employees. I am the top agent in my region. I
make a very good living for only myself, because I am
single. No kids, no wife, not even a girlfriend. But
I do pull my fair share of wool, so that isn't an
issue. I have several ways of doing several levels of
internal research. Some of the other hobbies that I
have include tetherball, stretching, lying down, and
glass eye collecting. I also collect stamps, teeth
from humans and animals, and old phone books.

Next, you asked for my business and residence
addresses. They are as follows:

Business:
Casualties Life Insurance, LLC.
15277 S. Charles Manson Blvd.
Rancho Cucamonga, CA USA
90113
Phone/Fax: 206-xxx-xxxx

Residential:
John Steemer
951 E. Compton Ln.
Beverly Hills, CA USA
90210
Phone/Fax: 206-xxx-xxxx

Well, I hope that is all for now, because I should
really get back to work. I will also attach my
Passport for your discretion. Thanks, and I look
forward to further correspondence with you. Take care.
Sincerely,
John Steemer

And my third reply:

Quote:

Dear Captain Shark,
Are we still on? Usman Bello has not contacted me as
of late, so I think that he is done meddeling in our
affairs. Please get back to me soonest, I would like
to know the status of our transaction. Do we have the
money yet? If not, when? When are we going to be
millionaires? Please reply soonest and let me know.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
John

He finally replies, and now he's just sticking to the script.

Quote:

DEAR STEEMER,

I have received your mail and thanks for been sincere. As I
told you in my last mail that if you proof our sincerity
(which you have done) that I will first change the
beneficiary ownership of the fund into your own name, I
have already gone to the security company this morning to
effect that but something came up which I would want to
confirm from you.

I was told at the security company that once I sign for the
beneficiary change of ownership to your name that I will no
longer have access to my fund as you will be the one to
have access to it. So if you at least did not come down
here as I told you, then my fund will be staked at the
security company. So I would first want to know from you,
if it will be possible for you to come down here and when
before I can sign for the change of ownership.

Yours faithfully,

SMITTER SHARK.

So I get back to him, complying:

Quote:

Dear Shark,
I must know exactly when and where to come down to. I
have just recently been fired from my job, so time is
not a problem. And since I am blackmailing my former
boss about the fact that he spent company funds on
male hookers, female hookers, midget slavery, drugs,
alcohol, gambling, and a new Vespa Scooter, I had no
problem getting out of that place , while managing to
get a 6 month severance package.

I have nothing but time. Please, just let me know when
and where to go. Thanks.
Sincerely,
John Steemer

And he replies, in typical mugu script form. But this is when I start to like it more because they feel like they are in charge. So he sends me a numbered list of demands:

Quote:

DEAR STEEMER,

Many thanks for your mail and it is my pleasure to inform
you as follows,

1) You are needed here on or before the 13th of September
2004.
2) You are coming to South Africa in a city called
Johannesburg where you will meet me and the fund.
3) Sorry for loosing your job and do not worry for what you
will gain in this transaction will be much more than enough
for you to establish yourself.

So inform me when you will be arriving here so that I can
book a hotel for you and conclude all necessary
arrangements for the release of the fund from the security
company and a successful transfer into the account that you
will nominate.

Yours faithfully,

SMITTER SHARK.

So, I reply, making him think that he has control...........

Quote:

Dear Captain Shark,
I am very happy to see that you have been so diligent in your efforts for us to achieve this fund. However, something has just occurred to me. Will you be picking me up at the airport? If so, please send me a picture of yourself so that I know what you look like. Please send me this picture very soon, as I don't know anyone in South Africa and it will be very intimidating to me if I step off of the flight in a foreign country and have no clue as to what or who to expect. Also, I would like to know if I should bring any gifts for you and the fellows that have been helping coordinate the modalities in this fund. It is customary to do this in my country. If so, what would you like? I was thinking about new laptop computers, or some new cellular phones.

As far as me loosing my job, it is fine, and thanks for your concerns. It is amazing the results that blackmail can yield. It also helps to have a shyster for a boss who likes hookers, drugs and alcohol. Due to his vices, I can still afford my lifestyle in the fastlane without having to wake up everyday to report for work. I can now wake up in strange places, with strange people, and not have any responsibility. It is absolutely wonderful.

Please feel free to let me know as soon as possible. I hope that all is in order. Please send me your picture and let me know all of the answers to my questions. Thanks and have a great day.
Sincerely,
John Steemer

My bank account information is as follows. It is the account to which the fund will be deposited.

Best Western Bank of California
Address: 79975 W. Charles Manson Blvd.
Beverly Hills, California
90210 USA
Phone#: 1-800-xxx-xxxx
Account#: 2499536-01
Routing#: 852644737

My flight information is as follows:

8:50 pm
Sun., Sep. 12
Los Angeles (LAX)

9:15 am
Tue., Sep. 14
Johannesburg (JNB)

Virgin Atlantic Airways Ltd.
#24 / #601

And his reply:

Quote:

DEAR JOHN STEEMER,

Thanks for your mail and I will send you my identity
document for you to recognize me when you come down here.
As for picking you up at the airport, I will try my best to
come with a taxi but if I cannot due to my refugee status,
then the hotel shuttle driver will come to pick you up at
the airport and when you book into the room number, then I
will come to see you there.

As for bringing some gifts, it is very good and acceptable.
So come with the kind of gifts that you mentioned as there
will be about six people to offer the gifts. Also, I have
just been informed by the bank manager that you will need
about $3000.00 to $4000.00 to open a good bank account
here. So do try to come with at least the sum of $4000.00
to cover all expenses regarding opening the account and it
will be refunded to you here before we transfer the money.

So I will send you the hotel reservation information?s as
soon as you reply me.

Yours faithfully,

CAPT. SMITTER SHARK.

So, before I reply to him, I had to really test the greediness of this fucker..... And there is NO BETTER WAY to do this than J. Dog's patented ASEM Trick. So, from a different name and email address, this one graced his inbox today:

Quote:

Hello Ukiah-
I have great news. I have been approved for a $40,000.00 (Forty Thousand) USD from my bank. Where should I send the payments to? How should I send them? Please let me know, this is a lot of cash for me to be walking around with. I am expecting your urgent reply. Much thanks.
Sincerely,
Billy Lumberg

And what can I say besides that this trick has done for scambaiting what Jenna Jameson does for porn. It takes it one step further, and it brings a new angle. This as well as many others.

Anyway, the following reply graced Billy's inbox this morning. It was in there twice, but with two different Subject Lines. One line read:

Quote:

PLEASE BE FAST BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE TIME TO WAIST

And the other read:

Quote:

URGENT PLEASE

And here's the reply:

Quote:

DEAR BILLY LUMBERG,

Many thanks for your mail and the bank account details to
which you should send the money immediately is as follows,

ACCOUNT NAME: S.L.WORA
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 996165
BANK NAME: ABSA BANK
BRANCH CODE: 537155
SWIFT CODE: ABSAZAJJ

Please as soon as you send the money, kindly send me the
transfer slip through this mail.

Hoping to hear from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

UKIAH.

Seeing that this mugu is quite the greedy fucker, I decide to give him a nice long SLAP for being such a pussy, and then some:

Quote:

Dear Captain Shark,
I have received your email, and I must admit the
contents are understood, but not pleasing to my
pallette.

I had stated in my prior email that I was very
apprehensive, even scared about travelling to a
country where I know nobody, and I have no idea who I
am meeting. Where do you get off telling me that you
will reveal your identity to me when I get there? What
exactly do you take me for? Of course I will see who
you are when I get there. I am not blind. My reasoning
for wanting to see a picture of you BEFORE I get there
is to know what you look like, so if and when you pick
me up, I'll know what to expect. I have been in
situations in the past here in America known as blind
dates. This is where I did not know who I was going
out with or what that person looked like. To my
dismay, none of them succeeded. I have been hooked up
with anyone that I heard looked like Cindy Crawford,
and low and behold, she looked like Genghis Kahn, and
I was even hooked up with a Korean guy named Ping that
was born with his heart on the outside of his body.
Not only was I lied to, but Ping wasn't even the right
sex. Regardless, we had a wonderful time. We went
miniature golfing. So I think that you can see my
point.

Next, I was not too excited to hear that you might not
pick me up. This leaves me very vulnerable in the
sense that I am planning on bringing a large amount of
cash with me to cover any expenses; such as going on
safaris to hunt, and any knick knacks or funny
artifacts that I want to buy. You picking me up is NOT
an option at this point, Smitter. You will either pick
me up or send someone else to do it, and not some
chump that drives a hotel bus, either. Which brings me
to my next disappointment.

I want to know exactly which hotel you intend on
booking me at. I am also assuming that YOU will be
covering the room expenses. I am expecting to stay at
a 5 Star hotel, not some dirty shithole where I can go
into the lounge, find a girl, get laid, get stoned,
and get killed all within the course of an hour. If
these were your intentions, you'd better re-think
them, and you'd better do it fast.

Another disappointment I have with you is the gifts
that I have offered. 6 of them? Are you out of your
mind? That could cost me up to $10,000.00 (Ten
Thousand) USD, and I have already spent $2,300.00 (Two
Thousand Three Hundrted) USD on my airplane tickets to
fly to God knows where, to meet God knows who, and to
stay God knows where at. My suggestion to you is to
re-think your plan.

As far as me bringing between $3,000.00 and $4,000.00
to open a bank account, that will not be a problem.
That is the least of my worries.

Basically, I expect your urgent reply with some
answers, and accompanied by a picture. The last thing
that I want to happen is to let greed get in the way
of the start of something beautiful.

Last, you failed to mention that you are a refugee. I
was unaware that they have internet access in refugee
camps nowadays. Wow, I guess that world really is
changing everyday. I await your reply. Good day.
Sincerely,
John Steemer

And that is how it stands at the moment. I have not sent a reply to Smitter from Billy yet for the $40,000.00 that he stands to get because I want him to shit his pants twice before he finds out what other tricks Billy has up his sleeve. Thanks for reading.

Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 1:09 pm

So as I stated in my first post post of this bait, I have a few more tricks up my sleeve. The one in which I use in this post is when you alter the email sent by the mugu.

I used it on Smitter Shark on the ASEM. The original email that reply that he sent was:

Quote:

DEAR BILLY LUMBERG,

Many thanks for your mail and the bank account details to
which you should send the money immediately is as follows,

ACCOUNT NAME: S.L.WORA
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 996165
BANK NAME: ABSA BANK
BRANCH CODE: 537155
SWIFT CODE: ABSAZAJJ

Please as soon as you send the money, kindly send me the
transfer slip through this mail.

Hoping to hear from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

UKIAH.

Upon altering, the email that Billy Lumberg replied to became:

Quote:

DEAR BILLY LUMBERG,

Many thanks for your mail and the bank account
details to
which you should send the money immediately is as follows,

ACCOUNT NAME: L.S.WARO
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 906163
BANK NAME: BANCO DE ABSA
BRANCH CODE: 531752
SWIFT CODE: ZAJJABSA

Please as soon as you send the money, kindly send me
the fucking
transfer slip through this mail or you will die.

Hoping to hear from you soon.
I am waiting for your reply and jerking off now.
Yours touching myself,

UKIAH.

Notice the changes?

So Billy replies, and has a few thoughts of his own:

Quote:

Dear Ukiah,
I have received your email, and I can see that you
have several other problems besides being a homosexual
with self relying dependencies. Why did you tell me
that I was going to die if I didn't send you the
money? Not only are you a homosexual who can't stop
telling me when he's touching himself, but now I am
convinced that you are a raging psychopath, as well.

If we are going to achieve this fund together, we'd
better be nice to one another. I haven't called you
any names, and I have been nothing but nice to you
since you proposed a business relationship with me.
Little did I know that you would also propose marriage
on me, propose that we be in a full-on gay
relationship together, and propose that you would be
my sex slave for all of eternity.

Ukiah, I am not gay like you are. That is fine if you
are, but please refrain from threatening me anymore
because I am trying to pay the fees to you so we can
just achieve this fund, and you can finally fulfill
your dream of coming to America to have your sex
change operation and become a Las Vegas Showgirl.

I sent the $40,000 (Forty Thousand) USD to the bank
account listed below, as per your instructions. That
is all for now. I don't yet have the receipt because I
did it via bank wire transfer over the phone, and I
will have to go and pick up the receipt from the bank.
They said that if there are any discrepencies, we
should know within 24 hours. I will expect your
confirmation of this email as soon as you receive it.
Thanks for your time.
Sincerely,
Billy

This trick works wonders in a bait, especially when the mugu thinks that he/she is getting paid. This trick also works well in the sense that you can imply anything that you want to the mugu, like I did saying that the mugu is gay. You can say anything you want because for all they know, they think that you are emailing someone besides them, and it is like starting a new bait all over again. Plus, it gets mugus very angry when you tell them that they're gay.

I also decided to send another UB letter to Smitter Shark, and I'll post that as soon as a reply comes in. That's all for now, kids. Enjoy.

Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2004 10:11 pm

Excellent story! I like the small touches, like your company name "Casualties Life", your hobbies of "lying down and glass-eye collecting", and the bank address on Charles Manson Blvd! The blind date with Ping story was classic -

"I was even hooked up with a Korean guy named Ping that was born with his heart on the outside of his body. Not only was I lied to, but Ping wasn't even the right sex. Regardless, we had a wonderful time. We went miniature golfing. So I think that you can see my point. "

I wonder if the mugus appreciate the creative humor that is bestowed upon them. Eh, probably not.

Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 7:52 am

Alright, so now basically where it stands now is simple. Let me just break it down for you.

Smitter Shark's head has been wound in so many directions by me at this point that he doesn't know whether to shit twice or die. What I am doing to him is baiting him three different ways. They are as follows:

1) As John Steemer (originating bait)
2) As UB (thrown into the mix to light a fire under Smitter Shark's mugu ass)
3) As Billy Lumberg (the ASEM trick to make Smitter think that he'll get paid)

Anyway, Smitter has decided to reply to all three, so he must be game. I'll take him up on that.

I have decided to try and squeeze Smitter's mugu balls until they bleed, so I let up a little on him from the UB angle. I have now chosen to try and get him to work with UB, instead of against him. I sent this one to Smitter:

Quote:

BROTHER I HACK YOUR EMAIL AND SEE DAT MAGA JOHN
STEEMER COME TO SA TO GET DA MONEY FROM U.I PICK UP DA
MAGA AT AIRPORT OK.U TELL MAGA DAT BROTHER BELLO FRM
SA GET HIM OK.I DO DIS FOR $1000.WHT U THINK.MAGA NO
WORRY AN NO TIME FOR DA MAGA TO RUN.I TAKE HIM TO 5
STAR HOTEL OK.I TELL HIM THT WHERE HE STAY AND DEN
TAKE CASH OKAY.WE WORK TOGETGETHER IN DIS OK.U TELL ME
I HELP U CUS I SEE THAT U R NO GUYMAN.U R SMALL BOY.I
BIG GUYMAN AN HELP U OK.
BROTHER USMAN BELLO

Basically insulting the shit out of him. He replied with this:

Quote:

GIVE ME YOUR CONTACT DETAILS AND WE WILL WORK
TOGETHER YOU
FOOL.

Now that pisses UB off, and that is something that sould NEVER be done. He replies:

Quote:

U DON CALL ME NO FOOL!!!!!!!!I TRY TO HELP U CUS U
SILLY SMALL BOY OK.U EVER CALL ME FOOL AGAN I GUT U
LIKE DOG IN STREET!!!!!!!!!U DON WORRY BOUT MY CONTACT
DETAILS CUS I WILL CONTACT U OK.U LERN FROM ME.I SHOW
U HOW U NO GUYMAN AND U R A SMALL BOY.I BRING MAGA TO
YOUR OGA AND U PAY ME OK.THAT ALL NOW.

But UB is still trying to get Smitter to work with him. That sums up the UB angle for now.

Next, we have the ASEM angle as Billy Lumberg. In the previous posts, Billy used the altered email trick, and much to his advantage. Smitter replied:

Quote:

DEAR BILLY LUMBERG,

Many thanks for your mail and the bank account details to
which you should send the money immediately is as follows,

ACCOUNT NAME: S.L.WORA
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 996165
BANK NAME: ABSA BANK
BRANCH CODE: 537155
SWIFT CODE: ABSAZAJJ

Please as soon as you send the money, kindly send me the
transfer slip through this mail.

Hoping to hear from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

UKIAH.

N/B: Please this is the account details that I sent to you
and this is also the mail that I sent to you and I dont
know any thing about sex and homosexual and if you send the
money to the account that you said that you send the money,
please call the money back and send it to the account
above.

However, Billy further insults Smitter with the following reply:

Quote:

Dear Ukiah,
I am confused by your email. I am now very worried
about concluding this transaction. I will tell you
why.

First and foremost, I am VERY worried because I have
wired the money to the bank account that you gave me,
and now you are telling me try and get it back. Why
are you doing this? The account that I sent the money
to was the EXACT account that you told me to send it
to. Just to be certain, I printed off the email and
read it to the bank teller. As I have stated in other
emails before, your skills at typing critical points
in emails is seriously lacking. As far as I can
recall, I had sent you money to go and take the typing
class at the University, and that was 1 month ago. Did
you do that? I may never know. So, with that being
said, I guess that I can fairly assume that your lack
of typing skills is what has caused this mistake. The
only thing that I can do at this point is try to get
in touch with the bank to see the whereabouts of the
$40,000.00 (Forty Thousand) USD. Ukiah, I can say that
I am not a very happy man at this point.

Next, I just want to remind you that you and I have
been emailing and talking on the phone for the past 4
months now, and you have repeatedly stated to me that
you are in fact gay and like to "toss salad" (as you
put it), and give rim jobs to your fellow MAN. Why
would you do something so stupid as to go back on your
word after we have established such a high trust
level? I have told you that your secret is safe with
me. The only thing that I ask of you is to stop
hitting on me. I have told you on several occasions
that I am a straight man, and I prefer the company of
women. It really makes no difference that you enjoy
your same sex instead of the opposite. I have told you
that I could care less about this, and it would not
effect the outcome of the business at hand. What you
do on your own time is your business. Please, and I
guess that I can't seem to stress this enough to you,
stop hitting on me. Our sexual preferences are not the
issue at hand. I await your reply. Take care.
Sincerely,
Billy

Now, the best part about this is that since Smitter decided to answer the ASEM, he has decided to play the role of Ukiah. For all that fuckwit knows, Ukiah was a gay man. So, either he'll have to play along, or risk not getting the $40,000.00 that is falling from the sky.

Last, we come John Steemer. If you recall, John was a little pissed at Smitter for being a total fucking pussy. Smitter replied to John's last email twice. His first email was the following:

Quote:

DEAR JOHN,

I just receive a mail from one USMAN BELLO and he told me
that he is working together with you and that he knows the
day and time that you are coming to south africa.

So I now change my email address and you will write to me
with this email address because he said that he is a
computer hacker, so I dont know how he manage to get my
email password.

Please reply with this email address from now on please to
avoid any problem please.

Yours faithfully,

SMITTER SHARK

What a fucker. He's trying to implicate that John Steemer and UB are working against him? What a greedy fucking pussy he is. He's trying to make it look as if he has nothing to do with UB. Well, little does he know.

His second reply pertains to the slap email that John sent about him being such a schmuck:

Quote:

DEAR STEEMER,

Thanks for your mail and the contents well understood.
Please in future, read my mail carefully so that you can
understand it before jumping into a kind of conclusion and
suspicion. I can understand your skeptism in this whole
issue but at the same time, if we do not trust each other
to a certain point, we cannot succeed.

Although that you have had lots of disappointments from
people according to your mail, it will not be a good thing
for you to assume the same thing to happen with me without
first knowing me fully as early condemnation is poisonous
in every collaboration. If you read my last mail carefully,
you will understand that I never object to sending you my
identity document copy, all that I said is that I agree to
send it as you requested when you reply that mail and I do
not know or understand where you got the idea and thought
that I do not want to send you my identity document when
you did not refuse to send yours.

If I refuse to send you mine, I think that I must be crazy.
Furthermore, you said that I never told you that I am a
refugee, please I refer you to my first proposal letter in
which I informed you that I am a Liberian seeking asylum in
south Africa as a result of my participation in the
government of our exiled president Charles Taylor who is
seeking asylum also in Nigeria.

Also, I never said that I will not come to meet you at the
airport, all that I said is that in case the situation at
the airport do not allow me easy access as a refugee that I
will have to make another plan of some one who can come to
pick you at the airport on your arrival and take you to the
hotel where I will come to see you for us to proceed. Since
I do not have a friend here and do not want to be noticed
by some international visitors at the airport as we all
that served under Charles Taylor are on the run, I thought
that it would have been safe to ask the hotel to send a
driver who will come to pick you up at the airport.

Unless you want me to maybe be apprehended by the authority
of my country who are probably every where looking for us
when I come to the airport and as you know, if something of
this nature happens, I will be extradited to Liberia where
I might face a case of death penalty and at the same time
loose this money. I hope that you are coming here for this
business and I think that you should forget about enjoyment
at first until we finish the transfer of this fund and you
take me to your country where I will feel safer and invest
my own share.

After this, you can come back here to enjoy yourself as you
want because by then, you will have enough to enjoy even
for a year here. As for the gifts, please do not see me as
a greedy person and if this gift thing can be an issue,
please lets forget about it and forge ahead because you are
sighting excuses on that because of how much it will cost
you and I do not see any mistake in telling you how many
people that will assist us.

You can bring any gift and any available quantity for I
will make up the rest. I would not want you to run into a
lot of expenses for me because of your involvement in this
transaction and if it will be a problem for you to come
with gift, please relax and come here so that we can face
the business. As for the hotel where I will keep you, that
will depend on you. Five star hotels are available here and
they cost about $250 per night and as for paying your hotel
accommodation, I would want to tell you that you will have
to pay it and add it to your expenses which will be
refunded to you when we retrieve my fund from the security
company.

The money that I am having now will be used to pay my
security bill only and I think that we can understand each
other as I do not want you to be involved in the major
expenses in this transaction. My own suggestion on the type
of hotel where you will stay will be three star hotel to
avoid unnecessary expenditures and after the retrievement
of my fund from the security company, you will be given
enough money to go and stay in a five star hotel of your
choice here.

Please be rest assured of your security here both in the
hotel or outside as it will be my first priority and I hope
the same from you when I come over. So let us clear this
issue and understand each other very well and when we agree
on these principles, I will immediately send you my
identity documents and the three star hotel accommodation
reservation details.

Yours faithfully,

CAPT. SIMTTER SHARK.

So, John decides to let Smitter know what's up:

Quote:

Dear Shark,
First off, let's set the record straight. Who proposed
business to who? Did I come to you asking for your
help? No, I did not. Why must you constantly display
to me that you are far below the level of intelligence
of your average turtle? You have showed me this too
many times. But, for sake of not hurting your feelings
anymore, I'll refrain, and just keep my eyes on the
prize.

I have read your insanely long email, and I must say
that you are not cooperating. I can sympathize that
you can't be seen in certain areas for risk of your
life, but I can't insist that I am not risking my life
by associating with you, can I? If I am seen with you,
will I be executed like you will? I hope not, and I
hope that you are not, either. So with that being
said, I can sympathize with you. I have been hunted
down by bookies and lonesharks in the past, and let me
tell you, nothing says, "Fuck you, pay me" better than
a swift and blinding tire iron to the knee caps. Ouch.

As far as the hotel is concerned, I guess that I have
no choice except to pay for it myself. I am guessing
that if I don't, then I'll end up sleeping in an
alleyway somewhere, at risk of being eaten alive by a
hyena or a leopard. So, I'll pay for the hotel myself.
However, I would appreciate it very much if you could
get me the name and telephone number of a 5 Star hotel
that stocks Jack Daniels in their mini-bars. That is
my breakfast, and if I don't get it, I am one grumpy
man.

Next, you are telling me not to worry about
festivities of any sort. Are you out of your mind?
Will this transaction be consuming us 24 hours of
every day that I am in South Africa? Even if it is, I
have to get my freak on, because like I said, if I
don't get my Jack Daniels for breakfast, then I am
very grumpy. Well, the same goes for if I didn't dip
my wick the night before, either. I can be grumpy if
you really want me to, though. Also, don't worry about
any gifts. Since you insisted that I get 6 laptop
computers and other various gadgets, I have decided to
preserve my money and instead get each member a new
pair of Speedos. Trust me, they will like Speedos much
more than a computer.

Last, as far as Usman Bello contacting you and telling
you that him and I are working together is total
BULLSHIT. Pardon my language, but that is how I feel.
I was proud of you for one thing today, Smitter. The
fact that you changed your email address so that Usman
can't get to you anymore. That is a wonderful idea.
But, let me re-assure you that Usman Bello and I are
not working together. I don't even know him. He has
not contacted me as of late, but evidently, he has
contacted you.

I hope that all is still on the course. Get back to me
whenever you can, please. Thanks.
Sincerely,
John

And that concludes our daily update. Thank your for reading. Happy baiting.

Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2004 6:46 pm

Okay, another update.

Judging by Smitter's email replies to UB and Billy Lumberg, he's a little pissed off, and not ready to deal.

So, what I've decided to do now is have Billy Lumberg ask for some advice from the fucker:

Quote:

DEAR BILLY,

I cannot understand your view clearly and would want you to
come out plainly. If you do need assistance from my end, I
am ready to help you in any possible way and mind you that
I have no time to joke. I look forward to a more
comprehensive mail from you as to know exactly what you
want from me because you are not really serious for
business.

Yours faithfully,

UKIAH

Tisk tisk, you little bastard. So Billy replies:

Quote:

Dear Ukiah,
This letter is not like you. I am being very serious,
and I am also trying to make things happen for us. You
are pre-occupied with making advances at me, and I am
not the least bit interested by you. Let's stick to
business. You have put up no money in this deal, and I
am the one doing all of the legwork. Don't get on my
bad side.

Next, as far as the money goes, I was not able to
retrieve the money from the bogus account number that
you gave to me. I spoke with my bank's manager this
morning and he told me that the money was received
late yesterday afternoon. At that point, I went into
shock. This is highly discouraging, as that was a
loan, and not personal money of mine. I am guessing at
this point that I should just sell some of my late
mother's jewelry because that is all that I have that
is really worth anything. She left it to me in her
will after she died 3 years ago. Does that sound like
a good idea? Please Ukiah, I would appreciate some
advice because I am not sure if my bank will loan me
anymore money at this point. Please, I have never been
in this kind of situation before, and clearly I need
guidance from a buisness savvy person such as
yourself. What would you do?

I am awaiting your response. Please, let me also
reassure you that I am very serious. I have no time to
waste, and now I am $40,000.00 (Forty Thousand) USD in
debt to my bank. The last thing that I have right now
is any time to waste. Thanks.
Sincerely,
Billy

I'll post his reply as soon as it gets to me. The main reason that I asked for his advice is because I want to see exactly how far he's willing to take this. It will only go to show how big of assholes the mugus can be if he tells Billy to in fact sell his late mother's jewlry. They will stoop how low? We'll see when he replies.

Next, it seems that Smitter has had it up to his eyeballs with good old UB. His reply to UB's last email:

Quote:

DEAR USMAN BELO,

Please take your time to insult your mother, your father,
and all your relatives. I do not and would never work with
a fool like you who eats from his ass and not from his
mouth. If you need some serious deal with me, come out
clearly so that I can see if I can accept you or not
depending on how intelligent you are.

BYE

That is his best reply to UB yet. He seems pissed, yet unwilling to let go. So, fanning the flames of discontent as only he can, UB threatens Smitter Shark with his reply:

Quote:

U DON TALK TO ME LIKE DAT!!!!!!!!I KILL YOU
FAST!!!!!!I TAKE GOOD CARE OF MAGA STEEMER WHEN HE FLY
INTO TOWN!!!!!!!FFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKYYYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUU
MURDERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!U WILL BE GIVEN T THA BEAST OF
THA AIR SMALL BOY ASS EATING
COCKRATFUCKBASTARD!!!!!!!!!U WILL SEE ME SOON WHEN I
SLICE YOUR THROAT AND STREETS WILL FLOW WITH YOUR
BLOOD ASHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!FAGGOT!!!!

That was a doozie....... We'll see how he likes it when UB tries to one up him instead of work with him. That's all for now.

Posted: Sat Sep 04, 2004 6:29 am

Now, I am pretty sure that Smitter will not like the reply that he got from Billy Lumberg.

The following reply that Billy sent wil certainly end the ASEM angle on this bait. Read on, and you'll see why.

Billy sent the following letter to Smitter:

Quote:

Dearest Ukiah,
I have made the choice on my own to sell my late
mother's jewelry and I have received roughly
$37,000.00 (Thirty Seven Thousand) USD for it. I will
also sell my motorcycle to my neighbor for the
remaining $3,000.00 (Three Thousand) USD to conclude
this fiasco of a transaction.

From there, I suggest that we don't use banks anymore
because they are clearly not our good point. I am
still waiting for your advice on how else to send the
money from here. I have seen advertisements on
television for a company called Western Union, and
they can send money anywhere in the world in up as
little as 15 minutes. I think that this would be our
best option at this point. Would you agree?

I have also decided to give you complete control of
this transaction because it is very clear that you
know more about this kind of stuff than I do. So, from
here on out, I will do as you say. Please get back to
me soonest. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Billy

Smitter, posing as Ukiah Hambone, replied with this:

Quote:

DEAR BILLY,

AS FAR AS I KNOW. THE WESTERN UNION IS NO LONGER WORKING
HERE IN SOUTH AFRICA. SO YOU WILL HAVE TO SEND THE MONEY
THROUGH THE BANK ACCOUNT THAT I GAVE YOU AND YOU SAID IN
YOUR MAIL THAT YOU RETRIEVE THE MONEY THAT YOU SENT AND NOW
YOU ARE TELLING ME THAT YOU SOLD THIS AND THAT.

ANY WAY, JUST SEND THE MONEY THROUGH THAT ACCOUNT AND ALSO,
SEND ME THE PAYMENT SLIP FOR VERIFICATION AND DONT MAKE ANY
MISTAKE AGAIN.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

UKIAH

So, I decided to ice the ASEM angle with this reply:

Quote:

Dear Ukiah,
Great news. I have transferred the money into your
said account. This time, I can assure there are NO
mistakes, and all is in order. I know this I
personally went to the bank myself today and
transferred the money myself so that nobody at the
bank could fuck anything up.

I have attached the transfer receipt, per your
instructions. This time it has happened. We are now
finally rich. I await your response. Thanks.
Sincerely,
Billy

Here's the transfer receipt that I sent to him:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v227/Rookie303/BWTR.bmp

Hopefully, a reply to this will be posted.......... Stay tuned.

John Steemer Gets His Hands On A Shark- Updated 9/4/04	View next topic View previous topic