The Desperate Housewife and the Goldmerchant

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:36 am

So I get this in my 4ppl.com catcher account:

Hello

How are you doing?hope you are doing good...I am Ryan,46 yrs ,i 'm self employed ..am into buying and selling of Gold and Diamond at times (if available at that point in time on the field),loving,faithful,loyal,honest and God fearing...I saw your profile and am interested in knowing you even more...I like to dinner,movies ,.watch TV and also do some recreational events .....i like to go to resturant ,any resturant provided, there is good food in there....i like to travel a short and long distance since my kind of work permits that which means the distance between us is not or should not be a barrier....I will be happy reading back from you .

Affection,
Ryan

So immediately smelling a rat (crappy picture, gold merchant, google maps pointing his address to what looks like a shopping centre) the ditz writes back:

My dear Ryan,

Wow that sounds like an amazing occupation! I should warn you that I am not a religious person, if that is a deal breaker then I wish you well, if not then I look forward to hearing from you.

Kathrin

And then I get this copy and paste job (emails snipped by moi):

Full View
From 44PL.COM This is soulwinner
...
From:
Ryan Robert <snipped>
...
Add to Contacts
To: <snipped but completely different to the others>
Deareat One,
Thanks for the response,and l must confess that this is going to be the first email l'll be getting from a woman after a long break from relationship..when l caught my wife in bed with another woman and l thot l should give anything that called a relationship a break because l really love my wife,and when l caught her in that art l believe that there is no love again,until l was told by a counselour that l need a woman who will love me for the kinda of person l'm and l believed that this is the right time for me..l'm single,gentle,well responsible,honest,caring,lovely,open minded.l am full of fun and have a good heart and l promised you that you are not going to regret this if you ever give me the chance to be your man,im originally from UK but live in Florida and l have a heart full or love and care,all what l just need is a lady who l can show it to,a woman,who l can confide in and l'll bring out the best in her,and make fell on top of the world,babe l'll want you to come and see things for yourself and let me make you feel like the queen who you are,you know it not all men that knows how to treat a lady like a queen who they are,just few can do that...and im happy to be one of the few who are choose...so what are you waiting for..come and let share the fun and be happy together as one family and make our own baby together and live as husband and wife till the end of time ,so do you have yahoo id so we can talk on messenger if you do.then hit back at me while we have a chat and l'll tell you more about myself..and any other thing you will love know..hope to read from you again.and here's my email address;<snipped>..Cheers..l dunno care about your religion.but what l need is true love and platonic relationship from you...a woman who will be ready to love me for the kinda of person l'm....are you ready for a relationship that can leads to marriage at the time?.
Heart that care,
Ryan

I think this one might be a keeper! Hopefully more soon Wink

Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2009 3:05 am

I send him this back. The Ditz knows exactly what he's going through after all: Wink

My dear Ryan,

I understand completely what you are going through. I myself am in the middle of a messy divorce, my husband Nick leaving me for a 19 year old MAN!

We are both fighting for control of the farm, where I live in Yalbraith in New South Wales here in Australia. It hurt me so much when he did that, I was now in a different country to the one I was born in (I am from Germany originally), with no friends and no idea what was coming next. My niece has been a rock during these times, setting this email address up for me as well as explaining how computers work and the account in 4ppl.

There isn't much of anything in Yalbraith, I spend most of my time surrounding myself in music and I like to draw to relax with a nice glass of red wine. And sometimes a good DVD to just sit an do nothing with. I like the beach as well, but the nearest one is hundreds of miles from my house, so I guess I can't say that.

I will go now Ryan, as my niece is coming up from Sydney to spend a few days here. You know just a little girl time.

Yours in poppers,

Kathrin

Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 2:57 pm

The ditz just got this back:

Hello,

Thanks for the write up and im using this medium o say a big Merry Xmas and Happy new year together,who knows we can celebrate the next one together....I am the most happy man on earth while am writing you this..My first letter after along period of time from a woman,though i have not created time for this but but for business,i promised to it all the time i have now..Haven saw your profile on that site,i still hope to learn more ...who knows where it will leads us to...lol!! sounds hilarious but true too.....Am really pleased to read back from you even though it takes a little while to reply your email...i have been super busy....with the business....am originally from England...an English man and my name is an English word,kind of unique to the American world though...i got into the state FL 3 months ago to bring my self and my field of work into the lime light as people in the USA love cherish Antiques,Gold and Diamond so much..so i don't know much yet but will with a special person soon when i arrive back...and so far i have been making a lot of progress with the business....Well right now im not in the states at the moment, im in West Africa Nigeria,at the moment bidding for gold and im gonna be back to the states immediately it is completed say in 1 to 2weeks time depending!might not take up to that who knows?.Well i must tell you that i really admire your profile and i really want to know you better as well and if we get to like each other things can change for the better for us if you know what i mean.lets just keep contacting ourselves till i get back to the states and finally meet each other..

i really love to make people laugh ,i love the outdoors very much and i enjoy going to exciting places like the beach going to the movies stuffs like that and i really enjoying meeting exciting people well lets just keep contacting ourselves.i will give you my phone number i use here if you don't mind and i will also like to have yours so we keep the conversation going.

i am not interested in the physical appearance but what one is made of and what is inside of that person to offer....I was born into a family that their source of income is being a baron...i don't want to go to that in details but when we get to know each other more and more i will share it with you.....i have lived most of my life time alone even to the schooling level...i have a B.sc in building Engineering.....am a Single for 6 yrs now... after an 5yrs of marriage life with no kids before l caught my wife in bed with another man and l sent her packing,she betrayed the love l have for her and l thot l should not fall in love again before l went for councelling and l was told that l need a woman to keep my company and to be my wife,and l thot this is the right for me and that was the reason why l joined the dating site,and your email happen to be the first email l got from a woman,which l believe we can work things out and be a good friend and let see where this we lead us to. ....l don't have any kid of my own but can adopt if necessary...i am family oriented too...Let me drop here ...I hope you are having a wonderful time there..
Have a nice time ahead...i look forward to reading from you and to know more about you too...

Affection,
Ryan

More when I'm not so busy

Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 4:52 am

So today I am in an extremely SILLY mood. So I decided to just pile it on. I apologise in advance for being so stupid, but I just COULDN'T resist! I've always wanted to include one of Borg's suggestions (creations???) into my baits. So today I tell scammerboi about the accident Sabrina had... With a Drop Bear!

My dearest Ryan,

Thank you for your kind xmas greetings. For a celebration, Sabrina and I decided to travel to Sydney during the weekend until Sabrina's car was ruined by a falling Drop bear!

They're considered rodents in New South Wales, and we would normally shoot a drop bear on sight, but this one fell out of a tree and straight onto the bonnet of Sabrina's pink 2000 Toyota Supra!

And as we were travelling at some speed since the roads were mostly deserted, the Drop bear destroyed the bonnet of her car and got caught in the engine completely breaking it and forcing us of the road! We were stuck in the middle of nowhere with no phone signal and a dead Drop bear caught in our engine.

It took about 4 hours for a Truck driver to finally see our plight and give us lift to the next town, where we booked a hotel for the night. Ironically, the only thing on the menu of the cafeteria was fried Drop Bear, which admittedly does taste wonderful deep fried!

I would normally say that I love the outdoors, with a passion for all living creatures, but after that Drop Bear falling onto our car, I decided to look around the farm, and was amazed to discover we had a large infestation of them.

So I spent Sunday at home with a large shotgun, getting rid of our Drop bear infestation! It took a few hours and I was covered in blood, but the farm is free from Drop Bears now. Unfortunately, drop bears in the wild do not taste so good, and so there were none we could cook up. Nick used to buy them by the kilo in Town and then bring them to the farm and cook up a few Drop bears on the Barbecue, but they taste MUCH better deep fried!

Do you have plans for New Year's Eve? Sabrina has invited me to a party she and her room mate are throwing in Sydney and I will probably attend. You can see the Harbour bridge from her University dorm room and every year the Government puts on a spectacular Fireworks show. Living in Yalbraith, I tend not to see it in person so I am quite looking forward to seeing it live this year. Sabrina has a hire car at the moment and she SO misses her Toyota Supra, but she will put up with it while Drop bear parts are removed from her engine and the engine repaired...

Wow Nigeria sounds SO exotic! I myself have never been Africa, let alone Nigeria, you must tell me what it is like there! Is it like in the movies? Like perhaps Sabrina's favourite "Shaft in Africa"? I haven't seen it myself but she loves that movie and won't say why! Do you go there often? I haven't travelled since I arrived, but you have gotten me intrigued. So I hired a documentary called "Ernest goes to Africa" which I watch tonight so I may learn more about the country.

I must go now my dear Ryan, but I relish your emails and hope you will grace me with another soon.

Yours in poppers,

Kathrin!

Again, sorry Embarassed

The Desperate Housewife and the Goldmerchant	View next topic View previous topic