They sure don't read your 1st reply!

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Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 6:18 pm

I know I'm not supposed to use a screen name that I use elsewhere on the net to bait, but this one seemed too good not to try...

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The lad/ladette wrote:

Dear Beloved in Christ,

I am Mrs. Mary Parker,the wife of Mr.Robert Parker,both of us are citizens
of the united state of America. my husband worked with the Chevron/Texaco in Russia for twenty years before he died in the year 2003.We were married for ten years without a child. My Husband died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we both got
born-again as dedicated Christians. Since his death I decided not to
re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is
strongly against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of
7.5 Million with a Bank in Uk.

Presently this money is still with the Bank and the management just wrote
me as the beneficiary that our account has been DORMANT and if I, as the
beneficiary of the funds, do not re-activate the account; the funds will
be CONFISCATED or I rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to
receive it on my behalf (note that you need to activate this account) as I
can not come over. Presently, I'm in a hospital in Russia where I have
been undergoing treatment for esophageal cancer. I have since lost my
ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few weeks
to live. It is my last wish to see this money distributed to charity
organizations and churches anywhere in the World in helping human race.
Because relatives and friends have plundered so much of my wealth since my illness, I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge
responsibility to any of them.

Please I beg you in the name of God to help me Stand-in as the beneficiary
and collect the Funds from the Bank, why i will want you to use this money
to fund churches,orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to
understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision
because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my
husband's relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's hard
earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where
this money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking
this bold decision.

I await your quick response to this mail as this is my last wish to see
this funds transferred before my Death. Please my beloved for further
communication on how we are going to conclude this, reach me on my private
mail: [email protected]

Remain Blessed
Your Sister in Christ,
Mrs. Mary Parker.

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I responded:

Date: Sun, 23 Aug 2009 09:37:20 -0500
Subject: Aunt Mary!
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]

Aunt Mary!

It's really you! Pop told me about Uncle Bob's death, but nobody here knew how to contact you. It's a miracle that you finally found us. Wait until I tell the rest of the family!.

I was so sorry to hear about Uncle Bob. Susan and I had a Mass read for him, but we didn't know where to send the card.

I do have some bad news for you. Pop died last July of heart disease. He was never quite the same since Mom died in 2001, so maybe his death was a blessing.

Let me know where you are so I can spread the word to the rest of the family!

Love,

Jonas
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And the lad/laddette responded (emphasis is mine):

On Sun, Aug 23, 2009 at 11:59 AM, Mrs.Mary Parker <[email protected]> wrote:

Dear Beloved in Christ ,

I am most grateful for your mail, and I seize this opportunity to thank you for coming to my rescue. However i crave your indulgence to kindly attend to this in good faith as everything is Legal and the funds belongs to my Late husband whom before his death was always helping Charitable organisation,Churches and NGO in the world.

I hope you were not too embarrassed by my first email to you since you do not know me, I had no option since the family of my husband in and outside Russia refused to distribute my husband funds because they wanted to keep it to them selves. I don't really know how to move the funds out and dispatched it to charity organizations, so I resulted to putting fate to test and making a random contact, I got your email address from a private search which i did on the internet.

I am communicating with only you at this moment with regards to this transaction. And I would not have any cause to do otherwise, except you state your intention to withdraw your assistance. Just like I stated in my first mail to you, this fund is presently with a bank in United Kingdom (UK) and they would be able to transfer the funds to you immediately if you adhere strictly to their directive.

I cannot distribute these funds myself because of the following reasons:
(1) I am undergoing medical treatment and It has defiled all forms of medicine, and right now I have only about a few Months to live, according to medical expert’s diagnosis.

(2) I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul and so, I have decided to give help to charity organizations, churches and NGO, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth before my death. It is for this reasons I am seeking for your assistance to stand as the beneficiary to the fund and retrieve it on my behalf and dispatched it to charity organizations.

I will be sending to you some names of these organizations too.
All the necessary documents required to get the Funds out of the bank are with me.

However, before I proceed further in giving you the Bank contact, I want you to give me your words that you will be very honest and straight forward with me when the money gets to you and also that you will be able to execute this Project successfully and help me dispatched it to charity organizations.

As this is MY LAST WISH BEFORE MY DEATH TO SEE ME CONCLUDE THIS.

Thus, I would want you to get back to me on the following issues if you are ready to assist me:

(1) That you are in a position to be trusted as a God fearing person with such a large amount of fund been entrusted to you. Also, that you will dispatch it to charity organization and churches as I wanted it.

(2) That you are willing to contact the Bank to discuss the terms of activating the dormant account and releasing the funds to you.

As soon as I receive your reply that you are ready to proceed under these terms, then I will furnish you with all details including the Bank Name. But if you have any questions to ask me, please ask and I will be more than happy to respond to them immediately.

I will be sending to you all the necessary documentations to conclude this Project.

Looking forward for your reply.

Remain bless.
Mrs. Mary Parker

********************************************
I responded:

Ms. Parker,

I guess your not my long-lost aunt after all. Sorry for my mistake.

J. Parker, Esq.

**************************************

Now maybe the dumb xxx will read the first reply again! I also gave myself a law degree which should add a little spice to things. It will be interesting if I ever hear from this doofuss again.

Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 7:09 pm

I've had 'Mary Parker' before, she was quite boring for me, I hope she's more fun for you Smile

Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 10:10 pm

"Mary" was just a script junky last year, she's as exciting as last weeks pizza crust hiding behind the tv times on the couch.

Good luck, hopefully you can get "her" to open up a bit more.

"She" doesn't like Gay Pron btw. I may have upset "her" with a few pictures.

Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2009 11:05 pm

^^ may Uncle Bob was into gay porn... he may like the tribute...

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