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 An exchange of insults 'twixt Mal and Lad

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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 14092
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 2:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A Lad was trying to get Mal to come to Montreal with an envelope of cash for costs for a trunk box. Things didn't work out because the security form Lad refused to give an address.

Mal finally lost his temper after this:

Quote:
Ok dont worry captain , i think am tired of all this mess , i will call it back and i will wait for my turn in future, I know am going to lose my job if the luggage is completely return to hong kaong ,as an adage which says where inglorance bliss things folly to be wise , I know you teach me another lesson of my life .Please dont go again , i will instruct them to send it back to mongomery vault in hong kond safe keping .Because i can see that you have nothing to offer me concerning this transaction .Have a nice day , do not hesitate to reply me .
Bye .


So he wrote back:

Quote:
You are without doubt the most stupid, pointlessly stubborn, pin-headed moron I've ever tried to deal with - and you're proud to be a gorram idiot. Go figure!


The Lad wasn't too pleased, though it's hard to be absolutely sure given the quality of his English:

Quote:
Mr Captain
i dont beleive you are a captain , because i never see where a soldier will be scaring to go and collect things that will favuor both of us and you are talking lulaby every day , one thing and the other happening every minute .you never one day speak any other english than this your gorram idiot, anyway , i thank God fo every thing i will know how to move forward, i will provide an I.D card that will bear your name to my friend in AMERICA and send the airway bill to him for collection , so worry . you are such a gorram unserious person that have nothing to offer me in this transaction , if i should waiting for you go to canada , i am just wasting my time with you .if you are serious , this people is telling you that come lodge we will meet you there and take you to their office , you are sitting down there talking rubbish every day , you can not bear a mafia at all, mafia working any how to make sure he achive what he want, for me to have remove such a big amount of money from bank of china In hong Kong , dont you know its a mafia deal.if your door is close another way out will show face .if you think you are ready to go tell me or you call them that youb are coming and let me know when you want to go than beating about the bush since all this day .I have tried enough for you to get this deal done .but there is a slck from your end .


Mal couldn't let that go unanswered:

Quote:
Mr Moron,
What that diatribe you wrote tells me is that you have the brains of a gorram cumquat. Do you really think that I'm going to let you have me impersonated? This message is being forwarded to the FBI who will doubtless be interested in anyone planning to cross state and international lines using forged IDs for financial crimes - it's just the kind of thing that they chase up!
Mind you, the real crime in my eyes is that you've accused me of cowardice. I was awarded two Bronze Stars for service in Iraq and wounded three times there and in Somalia; whereas you are a pencil-necked dip-dick can't c*nt no-load who would crap in your pants and grovel in your own piss if someone threatened you.

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I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

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TheFae
Groped by a wheelie bin


Joined: 15 Jun 2009
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 4:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Words fail me. Funny as all heck! Laughing Laughing Laughing

Lad needs an english tutor perhaps? And where in the heck is Hong Kaong/Hong Kond? Twisted Evil

bow_down

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bumsnacks
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Joined: 08 May 2009
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 10:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Nice Demo Dick impression! Well done!
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 14092
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 11:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@bumsnacks - "Demo Dick"? Please explain!

There's more... I must have pissed him off bigtime. Under the header AMERICA GORRAM:

Quote:
The Gorram Captain,
I know that you one of the agent of FBI, I study you right the day one, I am once a soldier like , but i dont see any sense in what you wrote to me , FBI can comb the crime rate in america not to talk of international crime, its obvious that you new nothing about crime, day by day crime is happening in america and people are making millions of dollars there without FBI attention .I can quote thousand of crime that has erupted america in years back , where were the so call FBi then .You better heep your mouth shot and face your wounded marked in your body and that of your hear that is unable to receive phone calls, God says you are not going to be part of millions again .Continue with your gorram atitude , by the time you knows it millions of good things will pass behind you .
Soon i will be with you in america with a better business partner, i know that you are saint who prefer for america not your family .Had it been i know your wife , i would have tell her that you refuse to become millioniare for their sake instead AMERICA , have a nice weeked Mr Gorram.
Bye .


Pure class!

So Mal replied, with a little help from Major Jessup (A Few Good Men):

Quote:
Moron Coward,
I already have my millions, thanx to my uncle - OK, I inherited it, but it's still mine - and I don't need yours, cockbreath.
You ain't ever been a soldier, just as I'm not a Fed. You're a gorram bigmouth with big plans that'll end up putting you in a Federal penitentiary. You don't know America - what I know is that it craps all over you and your shitty country.
Something else too - you make patriotism into a curse. I enlisted in the armed forces of my country and swore to defend it and its allies. It seems now that by doing that I was acting to protect the rights of gorram stinking filth like you - who'd run like rabbits and fill your pants, or hide like whipped curs in puddles of your own piss if ever there was a war, and who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I once helped to provide.
We live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's going to do that? You? We used words like honor, code, loyalty, and love of country. We used these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a gorram punchline!
As I'm getting tired of insults, I'll leave you with a parable. In Baghdad in 2003 the company I commanded surprised twenty Saddamites in their hideout. I confronted one of them who dropped his AK-47 and smiled at me - he believed I'd spare his life. He was wrong.
I was carrying an M-4 Masterkey, an assault carbine with an underslung shotgun barrel that's normally used to blow open locked doors. I shot him in the face with the shotgun and destroyed his head completely; painted the wall behind him with blood, bone and brains.
If you were here now, I would do that to you, without hesitation, and sleep soundly because I'd have done the world a favor.

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom United Kingdom United Kingdom United Kingdom Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana Ghana Benin United Kingdom
Mortar x14 Closed lad accounts x 170
Safari x 3 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos to Accra; Femmy Lagos to Porto Novo
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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bumsnacks
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 08 May 2009
Posts: 90


PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 11:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Demo Dick is the author of the rogue warrior series of books. He is/was a navy seal.
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 14092
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 11:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ah, Dick Marcinko, yeah - I've actually referenced him in a couple of baits as Mal's Gunnery Sergeant; I'm sure he wouldn't mind. I have the original Rogue Warrior and the Red Cell/Green Cell novels.

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom United Kingdom United Kingdom United Kingdom Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana Ghana Benin United Kingdom
Mortar x14 Closed lad accounts x 170
Safari x 3 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos to Accra; Femmy Lagos to Porto Novo
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
View user's profileSend private message
TheFae
Groped by a wheelie bin


Joined: 15 Jun 2009
Posts: 14278
Location: Playing Space in the Street - DECENT!


PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 12:24 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
You better heep your mouth shot and face your wounded marked in your body and that of your hear that is unable to receive phone calls,


HUH? Laughing Definite siggy material. So sorry to hear that you're unable to receive phone calls. Laughing Laughing

_________________
Easter Egg 2011 Closed lad accounts x 4 Goat Flying Monkey Mc Fry Penguin Purple Flower Mugu Reseller x 5 Mortar x 6
United KingdomCanadaIsle Of ManNigeria BeninFranceUnited StatesNetherlandsMalaysia TogoGhanaSouth AfricaUnited Arab EmiratesKorean Flag Saudi ArabiaBurkina FasoHong KongJapan
United NationsRussiaSpainChinaPortugal SwedenItalyIvory CoastCayman IslandsPanama GuernseySwitzerlandIrelandcameroon Iraq FlagTaiwan x 3,000+
GO GOLD! **CLICKY**
"This is really bad"
"my account has been disable and can not sell anymore and this is all i live on"
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Jack The Tripper
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 29 Jun 2009
Posts: 46


PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 12:57 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Never heard of a Masterkey configuration for the M4, but I just looked it up. Sounds awesome.
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masterb8er
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 04 Jul 2009
Posts: 8
Location: Santa Teresa NM


PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hee hee... is your lad a brain donor? Way too funny!

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Please drop the lawyer ideal,sign the contract and return it back.We have no time for the delay from you.-Charles

Responding to your dog, it will not be against the law if your dog practices gay with other Dogs in your house. But it is a serious offend when practice with human being.
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