Getting an oga on safari, and a ladette jailed

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Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 3:37 pm

Let me know if you want Bernie to write him a polite WTFRU?

Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 3:43 pm

Yes, please. You could point out that it was rude of him not to advise you he wasn't coming to Niamey after all, because you had to make the shuttle driver wait an extra hour. And if he's coming to Parakou, he needs to tell you when so you can arrange his transportation....

Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 4:27 pm

He will pay! Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 5:11 pm

Bernie wrote:

Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 6:57 pm

Susan is indeed not happy:

Quote:

Dear John,

WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU????? My plane arrived pretty much right on time but you were nowhere to be found! Nor did any diplomat come looking for me! I hung around the gate area as long as I could but I didn't want to leave the shuttle driver waiting so I went and collected my bags and found the camp shuttle. But because you had indicated to the director that you would be taking the shuttle from the airport we had to sit around for a full hour and wait for you! And you never showed up! It would have helped if you had let the camp know what flight you were coming in on. How could you be so selfish?

It was a long ride to the camp. It's absolutely beautiful here, even more stunning than I expected, but I'm still pissed off because you let me down. What is wrong with you? Damn it, John, you promised me you'd be there. I'm not happy about this, not one single bit. The funny thing is that Mr. Uchenna told me you wouldn't come. I insisted that the plans were set but he said you were afraid of coming because you could be arrested for fraud. I didn't believe him but now I'm wondering if maybe he was right after all.

What's your excuse, John? You'd better have a good one because I am NOT happy with you right now.

Susan

EDIT: just got this, it appears he hasn't read my email yet:

Quote:

I got an email from Bernie, one of the officials of the Simba Safari Camp stressing that you were not happy with me for not arriving Niamey today and the shuttle waited for about an hour for me to no avail. I am sincerely and deeply sorry for that.
Susan, you must know how it is procuring the remaining approvals which I sent to you today, did you receive them?
Those documents I sent to you, cost well over what I thought it could and so, I ran out of money to make the journey to Niamey today.
Good a thing, the Fund release Order documents had been given to the Federal Government official (Paying Diplomat) as they could not be released to me directly without the signing fees paid.
Hence the Federal Government Assigned Diplomat (Dr. Edward Onanuga) would definitely be coming with the THREE CLASSIFIED FUND RELEASE ORDER DOCUMENTS tomorrow for your endorsement and for the release of your funds without further delay.
Kindly treat the Diplomat with all respect and kindness of your heart as he is in the position of releasing the US$18.6Million without stoppages because he is so influential and respected in Nigeria.
Thanks and God bless you.

So it appears he's not traveling himself. Evil or Very Mad

B*stard. Oh well, he's going to have some explaining to do to his partner when he can't find the camp.

Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 7:24 pm

Susan is most definitely not happy now.

my character wrote:

I am not happy, John. Not one bit. So this means you're not coming at all? So you lied to me. You lied to me as recently as last night on the phone when you told me you would meet me at the airport. Now you're saying you're "sorry"? Well sorry isn't cutting it. Something smells here, John. This sounds like bullshit to me. I'll be perfectly blunt with you: I don't believe you. You're bullshitting me, I can tell.

And you realize that I've already pre-paid for your suite here at the camp. That money is now lost because it's too late for a refund. If you had been honest with me all along I wouldn't have wasted that money. That was just plain rude of you.

Has the diplomat contacted the camp? How is he coming here? Is he planning to stay here? How can you be so disorganized when we're dealing with a transaction that is this important???? You've had weeks to get all this organized, now I'm here and suddenly everything is totally fucked up because of your incompetence and your lies.

I want answers, John. I'm very, very angry. You gave me your word and now you're slapping me in the face. Damn right I'm not happy with you. I wish to hell I had listened to Mr. Uchenna. He's supposed to arrive on the 15th because there were no vacancies here before then, but now that you're not coming to use your suite I think I'll let him know he can use that and come tomorrow. He may as well since it's already paid for.

Susan

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Sorry Juan. I hate it when lads don't do what we want. Evil or Very Mad

Didn't he tell you repeatedly that you should ONLY deal with him and no one else, that no one else would be doing this and you shouldn't believe in anyone else coming?

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 12:45 am

I haven't given up hope. Susan is not letting him off easy on this one.

He sent me another email after reading my rant from the camp:

dumb lad wrote:

Oh! dear Susan,
Don't get worried over nothing. I gave you my word, it remains and nothing is changed except the little delay in my arrival because of all what I had already explained to you. I am very sincere, I am a Christian.
After all, you told me on phone and through email that, you have two weeks to stay and one or two days delay can not make any change after two years and half you have tried to get paid but to no avail.
For real and sincerely I inform that, I will be with you in a short while. The Diplomat's trip is sponsored by the Federal Government of Nigeria just to make sure that the rightful beneficiary is paid as soon as she endorses the Release Order documents, while mine is a personal relationship with you.
I am sure the Diplomat will be with you before noon tomorrow but how will he locate you at the camp? I will also do my best to come, how will I locate you at the camp?
Don't worry yourself, calm your nerves and get some for and drinks and also try to make yourself comfortable there till we meet.
I will come through Benin Republic and not Niamey because, flights from Nigeria to Niamey (Niger) is not constant, but I can get through to the Camp from Benin Republic. How will I locate you, what phone number can I reach you there now? Which of the suites are you and which is mine?
Have you received those vital documents I scanned and sent to you?

I don't like his patronizing tone. Susan likes it even less. Evil or Very Mad

my character wrote:

How dare you say I'm worried over nothing? You left me stranded, John. You could have at least told me last night that you weren't coming this afternoon. That would have saved me some hassle and also saved me and the shuttle driver from sitting around twiddling our thumbs waiting for you. You are very rude.

And what is going on? This evening you said you weren't coming, and that the diplomat would handle everything. Now you're saying you are coming "in a short while". Well, which is it? Why do you keep changing your mind about things from one second to the next? Sure I have two weeks here but I'm not going to sit on my hands while you make up your mind whether you're coming or not. If you knew there were going to be delays you could have told me. But no, you just promised me you'd meet me at the airport. I don't like being treated this way. And what exactly does "a short while" mean? Sunday? Wednesday? Next Saturday? Never? Give me straight answers, John. I'm sick of bullshit.

As for how the diplomat will find me, all he has to do is go to the office in the main visitor center and ask for me. They'll send someone to notify me. There are no phones in the individual cabins, there's only one main phone at the office. So they send servants around with messages. For security reasons they don't let visitors go directly to any guest's cabin without first having the guest come to the office to escort the visitor. So just tell him to come to the camp and not to worry about my room number. There are no numbers anyway, this is a safari camp, not a hotel. It's luxurious but it doesn't have the same kind of amenities that a hotel would.

And don't patronize me, John. I'm not a little girl. I'm a grown up woman and I don't like it when you tell me to "have a drink" and "calm my nerves." I could drink the entire bar dry and it wouldn't change the basic fact that you lied to me. So don't treat me like an idiot, okay?

The ball is in your court, John. I'm here until the 26th but I'm not going to sit around waiting for you indefinitely. I want to know exactly when you and the diplomat are coming. I want to know exactly how long this process is going to take. And I expect to have a check for $18.6 million, plus interest, in my hands before I get back on a plane. Do I make myself clear, Mister Abule? Don't give me any crap. I won't stand for any more lies. Period.

I'm going to bed now. I've had a frustrating day and I am not happy. Tomorrow morning I'm going on a short excursion the camp has organized to Pendjari, with a picnic lunch. I'm looking forward to the diversion after all the crap you've put me through today. So tell the diplomat I'll be back about 3:30PM. He's welcome to come earlier if he wants to sit around and wait, like I had to do at the airport waiting for you. Let's see how he enjoys it. At least I have the decency to tell him in advance, unlike some people I know.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Wink

He's going to have to do some serious groveling if he wants to keep his maga now.

And to give him a little more added incentive, my fake lad laughed in his face:

Uchenna wrote:

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEY SMALLBOI I SEND U THANKS 4 BEING SUCH STOOOOOOOOOOPID MUGU .U R SUCH A FUCKUP GUY U DON KNOW HOW TO PACKAGE A CLIENT .ASSHOOOOOOL DIS JOB BI MINE NAU.

YOU ARE A MUMU AND THAT IS WHY IDIOTS LIKE YOU CAN NOT MAKE ONE CENT FROM THIS BUSINESS. IT IS IDIOTS LIKE YOU THAT GO TO OKIJA SHRINE TO DO RITUALS FOR MONEY.

ONYE IBERIBE, NWA ONYE ASHAWO, HOLIGAN ,OZUH ,NKITA,UR ENTIRE FAMILY ARE VAGABONS AND OSU AND UMEH. NDI ARA CHINEKE KPOROKU .U WILL DIE A POOR MAN. U CAN NEVER MAKE ONE NAIRA FROM THIS BUSINESS AND YOUR GENERATION WILL BE SERVANTS TO PEOPLE LIKE US.

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

BYE.

We'll see what happens tomorrow when I wake up, right about the time Susan gets back from her excursion. There had better be a repentant lad hustling his butt to Benin because I predict her bitch-from-hell mood will not have improved.

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 1:29 am

Quote:

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

Oh yeah. Great baiting Juan. I am sure your lad will come to his senses and join Susan shortly. Of course you have plenty of cash money and cannot be bothered disturbing your holiday with mundane tasks like trying to find a WU in a middle of nowhere just to please him. Laughing

I am rooting for you.

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 1:35 am

Very entertaining, Juan! I can't wait for tomorrow's installment! Here's hoping for a traveling lad! Very Happy

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 2:03 am

Scurvy lad wrote:

so:

"Bernie" wrote:

[/mask]

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 2:14 am

Excellent, Doc! I think this lad has some travel in him yet.

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 2:54 am

If this asshole doesn't travel, do you have any photos of him? We could make ECOWAS wanted posters and send them to all scammers, with a $25,000 reward for capture. With luck he will be beaten and dragged to the Police, who will maybe beat him some more, just 'cuz.

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 4:03 am

BTW, my reply goes out tomorrow morning, when he is awake.

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 4:08 am

No pictures, alas. And I don't have his RL info. He just appeared out of the blue.

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 5:44 am

Too bad. His RL details and some photos would have been wonderful.

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:03 am

I'm up a bit later than I expected. Since it's 7AM in Lagos I figured I'd send a wake-up email as I'm heading to bed here. (This time difference is confusing. Wink

)

I'm sure the lad will enjoy this wakeup call.

Quote:

I just woke up and logged into my email but I see you're sleeping late this Saturday morning and can't be bothered to write me, any more than you could be bothered to keep your promise to meet me at the airport yesterday. Fine. Keep your stinking banker's hours. You have totally failed me. I am really pissed.

I'm going to shower and go off on the excursion to Pendjari. There damn well better be an email from you when I get back or I'm thinking very seriously that I may just turn around and go home. I am really, really, really pissed. You screwed me over and I don't appreciate it.

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:44 am

Very Nice Job

It's amazing he's unconcerned about the extra money and gifts...just 2,400...

I hope he travels, if I were him I would - but then again they are lazy

It makes you wonder, just how many times in a lifetime do they get chances like this one...you'd think they'd show a little more spark

I read the average nigerian pay is around 3,000 USD a year - so you're talking a years worth of pay for a little trip...

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 9:33 am

You could of course return from the trip with quite sore feet, and arrange with the main desk that they send the 'diplomat' and the lad straight through to your cabin but that you will need pictures of them.

Anyway.. Are you absolutely sure you want to do business with this diplomat-guy instead of arranging stuff with the lad personally?

*Hoping for a safari here!*

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 2:06 pm

Nothing in the SSC inbox.

Email sent.

Fingers crossed (and hard to type that way).

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 3:30 pm

I'm getting as angry as my character now. What a twit this jerk is. If I were a real victim I think I would turn around and go home now. I get really riled up when I write him. Very Happy

@Ivana: yes, that's what amazes me too. This lad has an incredibly ripe maga with proven performance sitting there with $40K that he could walk away with easily if he weren't so lazy. But his tiny brain is focused solely on $2400. What an idiot.

I'm waiting to see if his regionally-based partner really does try to find the camp. Once I know that some lad is being screwed over I plan to launch the "how do I know he's not an imposter" bomb and insist I will happily sign documents with the "diplomat" but I will only hand cash directly to my lad. At least my lad will have another lad very pissed off at him for a wild goose chase.

Meanwhile, this morning's correspondence:

my idiot lad wrote:

I know how worried you are and know why you are worried. But I assure you that you will soon smile.
I did what I did not intensionally, but to make sure you get paid without going through all what you went through in the past. I had to procure all the necessary documents for you will all my money. Did you give me any? Except the one you sent that was picked up by someone else.
Don't worry so much. I am doing my best to meet with you so that we know ourselves better. I do not deserve certain words I keep receiving from you, but I condole them because I know you are worried about seeing me and getting the business concluded.
The Diplomat I heard has left for Benin Republic and I am sure he will locate you [don't count on it, John!] and conclude that aspect with you pending when we meet.
I am sorry for my inability to make the trip yesterday, surely it was because, I used all the money I had saved for myself to procure all the Approval documents that I had already scanned and sent to you.
One thing you never did is, you never acknowledged the receipt of the Approval documents I procured, scanned and sent to you.

my angry character wrote:

I just returned from a delightful short venture in Pendjari national park. It was beautiful, but best of all is that I met an absolutely wonderful man. He's a guide here at the camp, quite a bit younger than me but very handsome and he clearly found me very attractive. I foresee some real fun with him in coming days.

So I got back to my suite in a cheerful mood, until I read your pile of crap. I'm fed up with you, John. I'm really pissed off. You had WEEKS to get organized. You knew a long time ago that I was coming, you knew exactly when I would arrive. But now that I've been here for a full day and night you're saying you're "doing your best" to come here. Well, your "best" is obviously very inadequate. I wonder if you are this incompetent in handling our business? Why did you wait until the last minute to start getting things organized instead of doing it two weeks ago??? And yesterday or the day before you insisted the diplomat would be here today by noon, now you're saying you've "heard he left" for Benin. What the fuck is that all about??? He, and YOU, should have been here yesterday afternoon. It is insulting to find you telling me that things are just barely starting to happen. He "left for Benin"? When? From where? When will he get here?

John, you made me sit on my hands and wait for you at the airport. If it had been up to you I would have stayed in the camp all day today waiting for the diplomat, who hasn't even started to come here. This is bullshit.

Let me remind you of what I told you yesterday: I want to know exactly when the diplomat is going to get here and exactly when you are arriving. You've had weeks to organize those details and I'm not going to stand for any more of your vague promises. I want specifics. WHEN, John, WHEN?????

I'm not going to simply sit around waiting for you. I am going to go on whatever excursions or other activities the camp offers to guests and have fun. Once you can tell me exactly when you're coming, I will be available for you. But I'm not going to simply wait for you anymore. I am totally fed up with you and this whole business.

All I have is your promise to meet me at the airport, followed by a series of other promises you have broken. This is bullshit, John and I'm not going to stand for it.

Now, I'm going to take a nap and then meet my new friend Peter for dinner. I hope to be too preoccupied tonight to even think about you, let alone write to you.

I repeat what I said before. The ball is in your court. Stop jerking me around like I'm some idiot, and stop dishing out your bullshit to me. You know where I am, you've known for weeks.

I love the way he keeps asking over and over if I got the documents. I just keep ignoring that question.

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 4:17 pm

Do you think your lad is cagey, or just lazy?

BTW, there may not be a Beninois lad in play, it could very well be our lad pretending to have an associate.

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 4:47 pm

He's too stupid to be cagey. I'm 100% convinced he's simply lazy, and/or cheap. I'm also convinced he has hooked up with another lad. It would be counterproductive for him to pretend to be someone else when my character has been on his case about him showing up personally. Having a diplomat come instead is making his job a lot harder.

Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 5:02 pm

He sounds very un-ambitious. Seems to me your maga is a good maga, with a trak record, too bad your mugu i a lazy mugu or we would be cackling gleefully about his misadvetures.

Okay, any word from the other lad, yet? SSC is ready to make travel arrangements for them from either Parakou or Natitingou (a bit further than Parakou).

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

It's really frustrating when you show lads a clear path with money on it and they're so stuck on their own stubborn agenda to even see the "easy" route you've shoved in their face.

If you're convinced he's got a pal in Benin, can you somehow move Susan ('s money) in another direction so that he has to travel? There could be an evacuation of the camp with her moved to another camp location? (I'm not up to speed on all of the camp locations).

Good luck, I'll be keeping up with your progress/frustration. Wink

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