The Official Valentine's Day Thread

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Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:29 am

NN, did I ever tell you that I love you? Very Happy

Edit: irish, we took the hotrod out on this beautiful day and we turned the music up. Razz

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:43 am

Come here Slighty, you cute ball of bastard fuzz. I've got something that'll ease your zipper...

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 3:21 am

Single's awareness day. I could deal without this holiday honestly since I'm single and don't care about being in a relationship. All my attempts are at finding at boyfriend (NSFRP) are online only. I'm like yeah uh no.

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 3:35 am

To Ima:

I signed up here June 2004. That year was my renaissance. I baited and baited but still something was missing…a void that I could not fill. It seemed my plight was to forever be this way…

Darkness pervaded my gloomy life,
Like clovers adore a baron meadow,

I hoped and searched, for a solution…
To bring joy to my world of strife.

And then I found you…Ima…my love, my sweet Ima Baeder...

Your inquisitive posts…and probing PMs…

Into a darkness filled empty life, you entered with a glow…
Your tenderness and kindness burned with delight… and vanished burden’s sorrow.

Ima, my love…I offer you no less than everything…my love for you was born from my soul.

So often I have heard that true love is born from the heart. After loving you, I must heart fully disagree. The heart is only tissue, strong it may be, but still only tissue. It can grow old and fade away, it can be broken, or it can just stop. It requires maintenance to thrive and is easily forgotten. I could not love you with these conditions nor would I offer you love with any conditions.

True love, the love I have and offer you, is born from the soul. The soul is ageless, timeless…eternal. Love born from the soul is also eternal… and that which is eternal can never be destroyed.

Ima, my sweet Ima, I say I offer you my undying love…but I flatter myself. I cannot offer you that which already belongs to you.

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

( MY DEAREST DOC )

My dearest Valentine

I'm so glad you will be mine

I have admired you for a long long time

And not just because of your big siggy line

I will never repeat anything you have said to me

I will always keep any secrets you have told me

I can be anything you want me to be

All you need to do is ask it of me

You are the master and I the devotee

We can share a love that can last a century

A lad with pure heartbreak is the best gift to me

They so deserve it with their gimmick of risky free

I will so cherish a lad on safari just for me

They break the hearts of innocents

And pray upon their dime

Who are only looking for a love

Thats as pure as yours and mine

I am so glad you did notice me

And see that I do exist

I'm sure I am the envy

Of all the good ladies on Eaters list

Your beautiful words you have typed just for me

Have made me feel so special and free

I would hate to think you could be lured from me

By Just Jane's basket of specialties

You said her offer was so tempting to thee

I hope you will not change your mind of still wanting me

I cringe at the thought of you leaving me

Maybe you took your valentine to hastily

And if that is the case I will set you free

My only wish is for you to be truly happy

I hope I am wrong and you really love only me

I think we can be very happy for eternity

Or at least till this thread runs its entirety

Yes it is true I admire your big siggy

And it surely makes me squeal

To know that so many lads

Have run after your fake deals

Im so glad your mine

Because you are so fine

My Sweet Special Darling Eater Valentine

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Before you,
I was lost; adrift.
Floundering.

Tossed about in the darkness,
helpless flotsam on an empty, barren sea.

You guided my way.

Before you,
I was empty; barren.
Loneliness personified.

Eternally parched,
ever thirsting, yet finding no relief.

You made my glass more than half full.

Before you,
I was always one box top short; no prize awaited me.
The cereal was just soggy, sugary paste.

Curdled milk resting on the spoon,
no joy in Life's sweetness.

You are my Captainess Crunch.

Before you,
I was an untied shoelace; a flopping Converse.
I limped.

Sisyphus with a permanent flat tire,
watching helplessly as the rock rolled back down.

You are my fuzzy, bunny slipper.

For you,
I would pull down the moon, and bathe you in its glow,
watching in awe and wonder as you became even prettier....

...And then apologize for the tidal disruptions.

Ima, I will ask again:
Will you be my Valentine?

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Wow. I keep seeing the thread title for another thread "so hard to choose" and thinking it's the Valentine's thread. Laughing

My Dear Ghost: This is for you:

You are so very sweet and I do adore you. Thank you so much for your very loving words. You are truly a Romeo. Very Happy

I must tell you though, while I no longer have the tag, I've never stopped being Tsnerd's number one groupie.

To my darling Sners:

I am yours.

Edited to add: Snerd, your poem is making me giggle. Laughing

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 7:06 am

Ima my love, I got just what I wanted...for you to be happy, though I am grieved beyond all measure.

http://www.aimini.net/view/?fid=h71OAXYvm0aiOvcAt6Le

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 8:01 am

Last year did not turn out well. I learnt a valuable lesson. Women do not like sharing. Laughing

I struggle with Poems and schmultz, but here goes:

To Trixi:

Ima is red
Harry is green
I love your legs
And what's in between.

I like your pigtails
I like your hourglass
But most of all
I like your ass

Roses are Red,
Violets are blue
I have Alzheimers
Voilets are blue.

And if you didn't like my poem there's always jewellery. Laughing

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 8:31 am

Reaper wrote:

Last year did not turn out well.

And you think ^^^THAT^^^ is going to help? Confused

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 9:15 am

You old smooth talker Reap Laughing

Quote:

I love your legs
And what's in between

Music to any woman's ears I am sure Laughing

Reapie, you are tying to get a Valentine...not a slap across the face.

Trixi , bear with him...he is still quite young Very Happy

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 9:17 am

Pfft, it's the thought that counts. I think it was a very loving description. Smile

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 12:21 pm

*collapses in fits of giggles* Probably not the reaction you were expecting but hey, I never claimed to be normal.

Thankyou darling. It's a very lovely Valentine effort.

One thing though - you should know by now that I think foreplay is highly overrated.....

.... and I'll just leave that thought there for you too mull over....

..... don't mull too long though, I'm not exactly known for my patience....

T
x

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 1:12 pm

Reaper, looks like your gambit might pay off.

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 1:14 pm

Well, she's a very special girl. Smile

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 1:47 pm

^^^ and so are you.

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:08 pm

LOL.

Harry you are so bad sometimes.

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:32 pm

Slightlyoutofit wrote:

This thread made me sick into my mouth.

Why don't you all just admit that you hate each other and have done with it?

You are just pissed that the thread was called the VD thread and you entered with hopes that it was full of tips curing the several VDs that ravage your squirrely little body.

Well, I have made my decision. I will start the wooing, but I have to be up front and say that I won't be doing the asking. Hopefully my wooing is enough to get the girl to ask.

I have decided to pick Dora as my object of affection. There seems to be some good competition there already and I like a good challenge.

Before I start any REAL wooing, I want to show you a few reasons why you cannot pick the other people.

Bluthbanana:

Pastor Frank (aka Fred Phelps):

Slightly:

^^^
Those are all male squirrels that he calls Prof and Harry Bawls.

My wooing this year will not just be a smear campaign, I promise. A wise woman once told me that if a girl is to be won, she deserves some wooing. I think that girl was trying to get me to ask her, but it works either way.

@Ghost- We have nearly two weeks left for wooing. I have to say that I am incredibly disappointed to see you lay down and fold so quickly with Ima. Come on Ghost! Stand up! Fight for your woman. You gotta send her something really fly like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWSeRZNxzJ0 Thank me later.

@Reaper- You are young. You are ignorant. You don't know what ladies want. Let me help you. This is the kind of stuff that girls love (Slightly NSFW): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97CtEReZEaQ Love songs man, that gets them going. And this song is about true love. And they also love guys that look like giant sacks of douche. So go and get that can of spray tan, frost those tips, spile that hair and act like a complete toolbag.

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 3:15 pm

jojo - you just made me spill my hot chocolate!

That banana picture is hilarious - but whats with the homo-erotic squirrels?
ROFLMAO!

Anyway - Reaper doesn't need any lessons on how to woo a lady. He's doing just fine as long as he can cope with me laughing at his latest attempts!

Edit: EW no. That link you suggested is all manner of wrong. yuck. spray tan man does nothing for me.

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 3:23 pm

Trixi wrote:

Edit: EW no. That link you suggested is all manner of wrong. yuck. spray tan man does nothing for me.

Shhhhh. I am trying to do to Reaper what I do with the lads, give them a bad education. It's funny. Let him spray himself up and frost his tips. I want to see.

You'll have to ask Slightly (or harry or Prof) about ye olde squirrel orgy.

EDIT: I did forget to mention one of the things that helped me throw my weight in Dora's direction. (Yes, I left that open for a weight joke)

DoraTheExplorer wrote:

Also, Diego is my cousin. He is totally harmless; an animal rescuer along with his sister, Alicia. Kind of do-gooder, PETA-person. Annoying, but he doesn't need to be sleeping with the sea-kittens.

It's like she has been reading my diary.

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 6:32 pm

I know you might care for another, and if that is so I will try to understand. Sad

I want you to know how wonderful I think you are. You really turn me on with all your cool avatars.

The way you are always so helpful and kind have really blown my mind.
Your quick wit and sensitive nature has made you the one I would love to share an adventure.

If you don't know by now or haven't figured it out yet, I am asking you Ghost the one with most will you please be my eater valentine?

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 7:00 pm

I know I said this was not going to be a smear campaign, but you guys are really leaving me no choice.

Bluth just emailed me this pic of himself and asked if I thought if this would impress Dora. I am all about looking out for number one, but I couldn't let him send Dora this pic. I told him just because he dressed up as Dora doesn't mean it's cool.

And PF... please, no one wants to see you dressed up in this, so stop sending me the pics.

I am trying to take the high road here, but you are making it REALLY difficult. I'm more concerned for Dora's safety than anything.

All I know is this... if Dora ends up with either of those two she is really going to need this:

Hey, complain to the manufacturer about the shape of that, not me.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

jojobean wrote:

I want to show you a few reasons why you cannot pick the other people.

Erm...

JoJo

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 7:15 pm

A word to the wise. Do not pick Reaper. His "Valentine" from last year posted this pick of their "date".

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 7:27 pm

At least she'll feel safe. And I can play her some sweet tunes on my Guitar Hero guitarz. A Les Paul and a Strat. Don't hate.

EDIT: Also, what woman can turn down cupcakes like this...

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