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 I think my lad threw up a dictionary

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Jayhawk
Imaginary Lawyer


Joined: 07 Jul 2006
Posts: 4669


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 2:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This is the SECOND email I received from him. Naturally I will thank him for the clarity of his email.

Quote:
Dear Sylvia,

Sorry for my delayed response, i have been out of town for the holidays, I must also thank you for taking our time to read through my mail, I read your mail with great pleasure and I will want to inform you that I have contacted you for a mutual transaction that is bound to alleviate our lives, and you are in a better position to understand the principles of life and the ethics of a fruitful life, am a man of my words and my word is my bond, what am about to propose to you may sound awful but at the tail end you will have cause to thank God for making you part of this.

I have taken time out to think this out and I hope mode the manner of contact doesn't depreciate the essence of that I strive to tell you. The modus operandi of this communication is more out of urgency of the matter due and the slim window of opportunity we have to get this off the ground. That apart, I have been under the weather and only getting stronger by the day.

I will make available to you more information about my self as we progress, but you have to be very careful as I do not intend to do anything that would ruin my good name and reputation that I have built over the years.

I will state the very crucial issues here, Hopefully with a step in the right direction today lets see what we can achieve. What am about to reveal to you, I will state for the avoidance of doubt or confusion.

In everything one does with another: there must be a meeting of minds. In Latin, its called "consensus ad idem": a meeting of minds. With out us both seeing and assessing the situation through the same point of view there cannot and will never be success or progress. So please leave your mind and your heart open to assess our operations with a brave and transparent heart.

I will be the "primus inter pares"; this again is Latin meaning first amongst equals. I need for you to follow basic instructions and work as partners. You must let me direct this project for us to have success. It is when there is no leadership and no meeting of minds that there are problems. Remember this always. I do not seek to lead you into anything you did not bargain for, but I must be able to dictate the pace because of my expertise in this field as well as having the know how to unravel this project. Their was a huge deposit made in my bank in 1997 by Mrs. Elle Chung, a Hong Kong National now deceased, we have been in search of the next of kin to the deceased to inherit her estate for 3 years now and all the traces of her relatives proved negative, having contacted you so I can make available the necessary documents as the next of kin to Mrs. Elle, the funds will be transferred to you for us to share.

My first concern is security, getting this project behind us with no backlash. Nothing good comes easy but planning and strategy, integration and efficient know how will help more than a little. The file relating to this case is under my care not only in my capacity as project manager but also as a departmental head. The details of this project are known only to the Offshore banking department of Barclays Bank. The administrative department of the bank is also aware of this only if I communicate with them officially about the matter, their role in this is only to manage instructions that my department executes, they have little or no power to vet or investigate. Once I authorize, they employ and close the matter. All our clients and their status are updated on a fortnightly basis. Every few days, the admin department asks me for a status report on the activities of the cases under my care. I am not obliged to give detailed reports but I must give them basic information. I have filed in a report signaling that Late Mrs. Elle Chung next of kin has been identified and the title passed on. I have thus closed the file. Thus, I and I only are in the know as to what is going on with Mrs. Elle Chung 's file. The risk element is thus minimal. This is guaranteed. The admin department has assured me that within 3 business days, they would have filed my submissions and declared the file closed/resolved.

You must understand what we stand before, we are about to make a lot of money for ourselves and for every time one makes significant progress in life there is a price to pay, I told you nothing goes for free and this project is not a deviation from that natural law. There are dos and don’ts you must understand. There are certain underlying factors you must appreciate.

Your status is that of successor in title to the late Mrs. Elle Chung. Pure and simple. What are the details? I have ensured due to the allowances of private banking that there is as little documentation about this project as possible. The manner the Late Mrs. Elle Chung filled in her data sheet helps us in no small way; there is little or no background for us to conform to. We do not have the need to make any submissions to prove, as Mrs. Elle Chung left no points to be proven, but the basic documents that will confer you with the status of next of kin I will make available to you.

Due to the dire sensitivity of the portfolio, I have the desire to keep this confidential, I repeat myself in uncertain and unequivocal terms: this is a private and confidential arrangement. The success of this project is contingent upon you knowing your place and knowing your limitations. I have worked in the banking world for many years and many consider me a guru in my field. I get where I am today by being smart and hardworking, but most importantly by being disciplined. Private banking is a closed and restricted world, what we have done is known to nobody and cannot be. The only authority, which has access to any knowledge of what we have done, is not even aware of any detail other than that the deposit has passed to the next of kin that’s all. I ask you to respect my efforts, if you begin to follow their activities you will attract little attention to this matter. Private banking is what the name reflects: privacy. The bank respects the privacy of its high net worth clients and would not ask any questions or intrude in what is considered a private matter unless given a reason to do so, this is private banking, there is no trace or detail of this transaction. It is best that way; I am giving verbal instructions to effect the realization of this project. Accept it and respect it. I have come too far in life to jeopardize my status as a result of a break in communication or a failure of my associate to understand me explicitly. I repeat for the avoidance of doubt; I plan to see this project through and go into private business by establishing my own investment firm. I have been in the banking sector for years but all I really have is a name, no money to undertake anything tangible. I do not seek to justify myself for I am at peace with myself. All the same, I inform you that with my share of the money, I intend on opening an investment and financial consultancy firm. I have many friends who have money to invest but for me to be the captain of the firm, I must invest some money of my own. that’s why this project is important to me. It’s my key to the next stage of my life.

I can summarize by saying you should make available to me the following information which will facilitate the procurement of the required documents that will confer you with the status of next of kin to late Mrs Elle (Your name, address, phone and fax number, age, occupation) with these particulars I will procure the documents which aid you to open contact with the bank on the issue and we will take it from their.. Destiny has fostered us together in this dance: the music is sweet but the dance will only be sweet too if you take steps along with me; do as I instruct.

I have taken a leap of faith in proceeding the way I have with you. I should first have met with you to gauge your seriousness and see if you are trustworthy, but one thing I have learned from the wealthy offshore banking clients I manage is that nothing in life comes easy and nothing ventured; nothing gained. Know that I promise you from the bottom of my heart that all is well and will end well. Please rest assured of that we should be through with this project within the shortest possible time frame hopefully within the next 7 business days.

Thanks once again for taking your time out to read this lengthy mail will be expecting responses and possible questions.

Regards,

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yournamehere
Master Baiter


Joined: 09 Jul 2008
Posts: 121
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 2:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Wow, that's an impressive bit of text... wonder if he wrote it himself? Where is he from?
Maybe throw something similar back to him and see how long he can keep this up...?
Anyway, I'm sure your Modus Operandi will be to keep him busy as long as possible in a way that may not necessarilly leaves his position as the Primus Inter Pares intact... Twisted Evil
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blah
Who's Your Daddy?


Joined: 03 Dec 2008
Posts: 1775
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Dear God, that IS fairly well-written. Shocked

What does his IP resolve to?

I agree with YNH, get him off script and see what he's really made of. Very Happy

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Tommo Shanter
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Joined: 13 Jan 2006
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Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides


PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Verbosity is very much like making love to a beautiful woman...you use lots of flowery words in the vague hope that they don't fall asleep before the crucial bit (aka "the nub") ie the bit that really matters.

Personally, in reply I would (for security reasons) copy and paste a load of text and insert the important bit from you somewhere in the middle.

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Wurzgnubbel
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Joined: 07 Apr 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 4:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I think I saw a bait somewhere with a lot of latin humus tauri in it. So, maybe some Latin insults, coated in business talk, may reveal the true nature of this genius lad?

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the test question here is still who is the bastard [email protected] [email protected], so were did you change the test question, and there is no change in this slip, this is the first slip you sent to me, you are wasting my time and dont call me a bastard in your next mail. (Hitman [email protected] [email protected])

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SlapHappy
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 6:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Tell him, "No hablo ingles. Habla en el espanol, por favor." Cool
That ought to burst his little swelled tongue. Laughing

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Dutch
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 7:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

That looked familiar .. I remember that email word for word from here : http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=137097

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Strongside
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Joined: 27 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 12:13 am Reply with quoteBack to top

That lad should become a writer. Laughing

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Dutch
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Joined: 22 Nov 2007
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2009 12:22 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^ He probably is .. This is from his latest novel "primus inter pares" (that's Latin in cases you didn't know) Nobody would publish his crap for obvious reasons, so he tries his luck sending bits around the world to earn a buck.

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