Chucky Soludo: RAPID FIRE!

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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:29 am

I don't normally answer quickly, but with my current Chucky S0ludo (being baited by ), I thought I'd make an exception... today has been active!

(Note; scammer in italics)

1509 today:

Quote:

I am in receipt of your email in regarding to your inehritance payment of $10,700,000.00 dollars. How are you doing today sir?
Yes, of course, in our file here we know you are from US, we registered you as US citizen, not Australia, we putten Australia, on the invoice, because you are still currently in Australia, so dont tell me the in invoice is not good. Stop wasten time and do send the money today, because the telex unit transfer dept are waiting for the processing fee, to enable them make the transfer today. The invoice is 100% good, so I urgent you comply and make the payment today fast, to avoid further delay from you.
I write to remind and informed you that we are still waiting for the payment of $180 us dollars from you today, as you promised, so that we can complete the processing of transfer of your payment into your bank account in Australia.
As you know, you are advice to send the money via western union money transfer with the name and information below:
Name: 0k0h K3nn3th
Destination: Lagos Nigeria
Text Question: In God?
Text Answer: We Trust
Amount: $180 Dollars
As soon as you send the money, you are to email to me, the full payment information, money reference number(mtcn), so that we can make the transfer of your payment $10.7 million dollars into your bank account...
Once the transfered is completed, we shall send your Transfer Confirmation Slip to you as soon as we transfer is completed.
Once again, congratulation and God bless you.

Captain Mal wasn't impressed:

Quote:

Just because you're a professor, and I'm a retired Marine, does not mean that you can act all high and mighty like that. You're speaking for your bank, and what I'm seeing here is sheer arrogance! Would it be too much to suggest that some humility and politeness might be in order?
In any event - yes, I'll go and sent the money now, as per your message. After that, I expect results.

Had the Lad looked at the version of his email below mine, he'd have seen his WU info altered to read

> Name: Car1 P3tt3rs0n
> Destination: Lagos Nigeria
> Text Question: What Colour?
> Text Answer: Blue
> Amount: $180 Dollars

Meanwhile - I wasn't surprised to see a sudden outbreak of meekness:

1552 today:

Quote:

Sir, Thank you for your understanding. I want you to know that there is nothing for you to worried about. Like I told you just trust me.ok. Like I have told you, that your INVOICE 100% GOOD. Sir, I do respect my elder,ok.
Your payment will be transfered into your bank account as soon as we received the processing fee of $180 dollars from you today, and we shall send your Transfer Confirmation Slip to you as soon as we transfer is completed.
Awaits to hear from you and receive the payment info.

Quote:

You may respect you elders, but that's nothing to do with me; I'm 40! I had to leave the Corps because of wounds sustained in Iraq. Holy snapping duckshit, don't you remember anything?
In any event, the money's sent. You can send your man to pick it up.

1635 today:

Quote:

Sir, Please send to me the below information that you used to sent the money with:
SENDER FULL NAME:
TEXT QUESTION:
TEXT ANSWER:
MONEY TRANSFER CONTROL NUMBER(MTCN):
AMOUNT:
Sir, kindly reconfirmed and send the information to be again. Hope to hear from you now, so that we can make the transfer asap.
Once again, Congratulation and God Bless you

Captain Mal sends all that's needed:

Quote:

Why the Sam Frick are you asking me this? You gave me the details yourself! Here they are.
SENDER FULL NAME: Car1 P3tt3rs0n
AMOUNT: $180
I didn't bother with the Q&A protocol since your man will have full ID, and he doesn't need the MTCN to collect the money.

Lad agitation kicks in:

1913 today:

Quote:

Listen to keep saying my man. Did I told you it is my man? Listen to me and listen good, the money you sent is for the processing of your transfer. Look, you have to send to me the MTCN number that will enable the person to pick up the money, so that the transfer processing can be done today.
Like I said earlier, you are the person putting delay in this transaction. Call the so called person that sent the money and asked him to provide to you the MTCN number, because as you know the MTCN number is the secret Money Transfer Control Number of the payment you sent.
I have to follow the banking rules and regulation.
Be warned, delayed is dangerous. You have to be serious and get back to me urgently.

Quote:

For the love of Pete, calm down! You sound like you're about to explode. Are you sure you're up to your job?
Yes you told me it's "your man" because you told me his fricking name! And I assume he's "your man" because he's sure as hell not "your
woman" with a name like Carl, is he? What the money's for doesn't matter a damn.
Something else - he doesn't need the MTCN for a pickup. The Western Union website, and the guy at the agency, both told me that. All the MTCN is for is tracking, and you don't need to do that. It's there. Tell Carl Petterson to go get it.
Finally - "Call the so called person that sent the money" - well I sent the money! And since you seem to have the attention span of a gorram goldfish, may I remind you that I can't use telephones, which I told you about just today? Honestly, I sometimes wonder how the Sam Frick you got your position and professorship because you seem so stupid at times.

Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 1:27 pm

I think we're done after this exchange...

Quote:

Who a hell is Car1 P3tters0n?
I asked you to send the money via western union with the name and
information of our central bank cashier below not Carl Petterson.
The name and information I gave to you earlier to used to send the
money is:
Name: 0k0h K3nn3th
Destination: Lagos Nigeria
Text Question: In God?
Text Answer: We Trust
Amount: $180 Dollars
As soon as you send the money, you are advice to email to us, the
money reference number(MTCN) as soon as you send the money, so that
we can start the transfer processing of your payment, to enable us make
a smooth transfer of your payment of $10,700,000.00 dollars into your
bank account within 72hrs.
You are asking me again what is the so called money for? I beleive you
are crazy and you dont have respect, Are you playing games with me? Look I am not begning you to claimed your funds, if you are not ready, just tell me and stop all the foolish behaviour of yours. You have to be
responsible. Like I told you send the money for the processing fee
which is $180 dollars, so that we can complete he processing and
transfer your payment of $10.7million dollars into your bank account
without any further delay.
The delay is from you now. Go and send the money and make sure you email the MTCN number to me.ok. Yes, the MTCN number is needed to enable the money to be track via Western Union website, before picking up. If you keep behalving like this, the board of directors will cancel your
payment. Follow the simple instruction..EWU..

"EWU"?

Quote:

You're insane. You give me a name to send the money to, then change your mind and give me another after I've sent the money, and then start carrying on like a spoiled brat - hell, I can almost hear you stamping your feet.
As for the MTCN - no, you don't need to track the money, you just have to
go and get it! Don't ask me again, it really doesn't help if you say
stupid things.
BTW, what the Sam Frick is EWU?

Quote:

I can now see how stupid and moron you are? idiots...mugu like you. do you think you can fool me(Governor)CBN. I beleive what happened to you at iraq make you to loose your brain..
I will instruct the Board of Directors to go ahead with there decision to cancel your payment,ok.
Bye and good look... be informed that you can not received your payment within my signature,ok.

I couldn't let that Iraq comment go... step forward Colonel Jessup!

Quote:

You've proved one thing - that you know nothing of the sacrifices I and
people like me have made for the freedoms that you and millions of others enjoy around the world.
We live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's going to do that? You?
I know deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you don't
want me on that wall, yet you need men like me on that wall.
We used words like honor, code, loyalty as the backbone of a life spent
defending something. You have no idea what they mean.
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself any further to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I and so many others once helped to provide. I prefer you said thank you, went on your way, and shut your mouth. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand to post.
Either way, I don't give a damn what you think!

Enough? Hell no!

Quote:

Ok, you have prove yourself to me now..that is very good of you. Both your information, we will be having board meeting later today..your fund will be terminated for life... sorry and bye..bye

So I had to give him another parting gift - a variation on an old Mal anecdote:

Quote:

You know, I remember an incident not long after the invasion... we found an arms cache in a warehouse, and there were these Saddamite loyalists who thought we'd accept their surrender.
One in particular was smiling at me - confident we'd take them prisoner.
I was carrying an M4 Masterkey, an assault carbine with an underslung shotgun barrel, especially suited for blasting open locked doors. I discharged it into his head and pasted the wall behind him with blood, bone, brain and hair.
I recall that evening that we ate our rations and slept soundly. Ridding the world of human garbage was no big deal.
I wish you had been there, along with the other garbage.

Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 1:28 pm

Top slapping! Smile

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