How to turn a mole hill into a mtn (NSFW) part 1

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Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:07 pm

Ima Baeder wrote:

It just keeps getting worse and worse.

Really? Sounds to me like things are getting better. Cool

You know what they say: "There's nothing to feair but feair itself." Laughing

Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 4:05 pm

Latest chat:

Quote:

Mike: hi
Mike: hello
Mike: dear are there?

Me: I'm here.

Mike: okay
Mike: AM FINE NOW
Mike: and u?

Me: awww. you were worried about me?

Mike: yes ofcource

Me: that's sweet

Mike: yes yss yes yses

Me: I told you not to worry. I'm very good at taking care of myself.
Me: If you hadn't noticed.

Mike: but i could,nt take it

Me: everything is going to be fine now.

Mike: i was worried

Me: I have the coins, I just need to sell them now.

Mike: okay
Mike: if you say so
Mike: so how did it go?

Me: it was easy. I was scared, but no one was home so it was easy. My dad changed the locks so I couldn't open the door, but I wanted to make it look like a stranger broke in anyways so I threw a deck chair through the back window and just climbed in that way.

Mike: well that is good news that you are okay as well and did not use a gun

Me: yeah. I really wouldn't want to shoot anyone. Well except for my dad. Or tom. Or maybe even Jen.
Me: Maybe I should shoot my dad before I come to you.

Mike: noo

Me: Why not? He deserves it doesn't he?

Mike:u dont have to shoot any body okay

Me: What about Tom? I should shoot him.

Mike: plz lets not go into that

Me: Why?
Me: It's not like I'm ever coming back here.

Mike: yes
Mike: but do not shoot any body

Me: why?

Mike: for my sake oaky

Me: what does it have to do with you?

Mike: please i want it that way

Me: Don't you think they deserve justice?

Mike: yes but do not take the law into your hands
Mike: because you may get cut in the process
Mike: i do not want any blood to be on your head

Me: I won't get cut. If the police come, I'll just shoot them too.

Mike: no plz

Me: Plenty of people have had my blood. What's wrong with getting some back?

Mike: if you ever feel for me just forget them
Mike: plz

Me: How bout if I just shoot Tom and leave it at that?

Mike: do not shoot any body please

Me: I don't mean I have to kill him. I'll just shoot his penis off.
Me: I don't even think that's against the law.

Mike: okay lets live that for some other time coss time is against us
Mike: you just have to do something about the stuffs before your parrents or any body notice it
Mike: fast
Mike: then after that we talk on that

Me: It won't take long, and besides, when will I get another chance? I'll sell the coins, shoot Tom in the penis, and then I'll get on a plane and come to Lagos.

Mike:you must have to do away with those stuff first
Mike: before any other thing follows

Me: what do you mean?

Mike: i mean forget about tom stuff
Mike: for now

Me: what do you mean for now? How will I shoot him if I am in Nigeria?

Mike: oh come on why cant you get me
Mike: go sell the stuff first before any other time
Mike: thing

Me: Yes, that is what I am saying. I'll sell the coins first, then I'll shoot Tom in the penis.

Mike: do want to kill?
Mike: his blood will be on your head
Mike: if you kil him

Me: My blood is on his head. It seems only fair that I put a little of his blood on my head. If I shoot him in the penis, he won't be able to hurt other girls again. What kind of scum would I be if I just sat by and did nothing while someone like him is running around hurting people?

Mike: dont you know he will die if you shoot his penis

Me: why? it's not a very big part of his body.

Mike: yes but that is the main unit of life

Me: really?

Mike: yep

Me: how do you mean?

Mike:i dont know

Me: are you a doctor?

Mike: just forget him
Mike: noooooooooo

Me: where can I shoot him that won't kill him? I don't want to kill anyone.

Mike: i dont know

Me:what about in his eye? He has two eyes.

Mike: i wount be a part to that just do what ever that pleases you
Mike: are you okay now?

Me:what do you mean?

Mike: NOTHING

Me: nothing?

Mike: yes

Me: you aren't making any sense.

Mike:wha els do u want me to say

Me: just tell me where I can shoot Tom so I will hurt him but not kill him.

Mike: okay where do you think can shoot him?

Me: well, I would still like to shoot him in the penis because that is what caused him to hurt me. But if you say that will kill him, then I don't want to do it. What about his testicles?
Me:He has two of those too.

Mike: PLEASE I DONT WANT YOU TO HURT ANY BODY PLZ
Mike: THAT IS ALL

Me: Ok. I don't want you to hate me for defending my honor. I'll think about it some more.

Mike: you know i love you very much and i expect you to do what i aske you
Mike: that was from the very first time i set my eyes on your email

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Quote:

yes but that is the main unit of life

You're sick, Luckey. Sick.

Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 5:21 pm

Sick indeed: love it ... what a gem piece of chat Laughing

Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 2:37 pm

Good news and bad news. The good news is that with Ima's help, I was able to find a coin shop willing to buy the coins, and they are much more valuable than I first thought.

The bad news is... well, listen for yourself: Click!

I expect I'll have an interesting chat to post shortly. Laughing

Edit: fixed link because putfile is evil.

Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 5:48 pm

Here's the latest chat. It pretty much tells the story.

Quote:

Mike: so how are you are you okay?

Me: Not so good. I'm scared.

Mike: me too
Mike: i have been worried about you

Me: I'm ok.

Mike: are u ok

Me: I don't think anyone saw me leave the shop. I never called the hospital or anything.

Mike: why?
Mike: <ding>

Me: I was afraid they would trace the call or something and send the police after me. Or record my voice or something like that. Have you ever watched the show CSI? They have these blue flashlights and fancy computers that will show all kinds of stuff that lets them catch people.

Mike: realy

Me: Did you ever watch the show?

Mike: But God
Mike: no

Me: What's the big deal anyway?
Me: That guy shouldn't have done what he did.

Mike: so how is he? i mean the man

Me: I don't know. I just left. He was still moving a little, but I couldn't get him to talk.

Mike: what did he do?

Me: Did you hear anything I said to you yesterday? You sounded really distracted.

Mike: yes i did but not all
Mike: you know the moment i heard your voice i knew that all is not well and the net work is disturbing
Mike: too

Me: what parts did you miss?

Mike: i only hear when you told me that you shoot sombody
Mike: and every orther thing you said was you just as if am i dont even know
Mike: i have beend worried ever since our telephone conversition

Me: I'll tell you what happened again.

Mike: even up till now
Mike: k
Mike: am listeining

Me: I found a coin shop that was not near my dorm or near my parents house.
Me: I thought that was important because I didn't want anyone to know it was me. I showed the guy in there the coins and he was really impressed with them. He said some of them were really old and like from Rome or something. There was one coin he said there are only seven of in the world that they know about. So anyways I ask him how much are they worth and he told me that I have at least a half million dollars worth of coins so I said great, give me the money they're yours.
Me: But then he started asking how come I have them and why someone young like me can afford to have coins like that but I kept telling him don't worry about it they're just mine OK? So then he tells me that he doesn't keep that kind of cash around and he told me I would have to come back in a few days but I told him I didn't have much time.

Mike: so?

Me: So then he says like all fake an everything, let me go in the back and check the safe, I might have some more money in there. So he goes in the back and I see the phone on the desk light up but it doesn't ring or anything so I went closer to the door so I could hear if he was on the phone.
Me: I couldn't hear so I opened the door a little and I could see that he was talking to someone so I told him to put the phone down and he wouldn't so I pointed the gun at him and he still kept talking so I just closed my eyes and pulled the trigger. Man it was so loud, my ears are still ringing.
Me: I tried not to shoot him in the penis because I know you said that's really bad, but I don't really know where I shot him because my eyes were closed and there was blood all over his shirt and on the floor. I didn't want to touch him because it was really gross, but I didn't get any on my head so that's good at least. I wouldn't want that.
Me: Anyway, that's when I called you.
Me: Are you still there?

Mike: are you okay
Mike: oh my God
Mike: hope all is well with you there?

Me: Are you mad at me?

Mike: no

Me: So what should I do now.

Mike: what lead to the shooting

Me: Cause he wouldn't put the phone down when I told him to. I think he was talking to the police.

Mike: really

Me: Thank God I had that gun. I'd probably be in jail right now if I didn't shoot him.
Me: Well yeah, he was like all suspicious about where I got the coins so he probably called the police on me.
Me: He wasn't opening any safe, that's for sure.
Me: So what should I do now?
Me: I don't think I should go to any more coin shops.

Mike: i dont know am some how lost
Mike: are you sure that is safe?

Me: that what is safe?

Mike: for you to go there

Me: to go where?

Mike: coin shops. coss the may be some investigation
Mike: about the man that was shoot

Me: Oh, I didn't think of that. You are right. I probably should not go back to coin shops.

Mike: i hope you did not took any other thing from there?

Me: What do you mean?

Mike: i mean after you shoot him hope you only took the once you brought in the first place

Me: Well, I took his watch and his wallet. I wanted to make it look like a robbery. It's a pretty nice watch. I think it will look good on you.

Mike: but you should,nt have took it

Me: Why? I don't think he'll be needing them.

Mike: but is not yours
Mike: or mine

Me: It's yours now.

Mike: but is not good
Mike: for you to take somebody els property
Mike: that should not repeat it self again

Me: Don't you think he deserved what he got for trying to call the police on me? That was mean. He shouldn't have done that.

Mike: yes but
Mike: i dont just know

Me: It's not a big deal. If he dies, he won't be needing the stupid watch. If he lives, he'll just buy another one. It's just a stupid watch.

Mike: why all this is happening

Me: Why is what happening?

Mike: i mean all the trobles
Mike: you know you have been through many of this kind of stufs
Mike: first was the man at city
Mike: now the coin dealer

Me: What happened with the man at the city? I never hurt him.

Mike: yes

Me: I wish I had a gun then. I would have shot him in the penis.

Mike: what am saying is about your health

Me: What's wrong with my health?

Mike: come on you have started again
Mike: nothing but just the stress

Me: What do you mean?

Mike: and all that
Mike: you been going through coss i dont want any thing to happen to you

Me: Please don't worry about me. Look at all that happens and I'm still just fine. God wants us to be together and nothing can stop us.
Me: I think I have been very luckey. Lots of people would never have made it through something like this.

Mike: yes you are
Mike: and i have been praying for you too
Mike: i just pray nothing bad will happen to you

Me: I just have to figure out how to sell these coins and everything will be fine.

Mike: you know i have goting use to you and that is why am worried about you
Mike: coss each time i have a chat with you i always feel good

Me: Yeah, me too.
Me: Are there coin shops in Lagos?

Mike: yes
Mike: but i dont think they can be able to buy them

Me: Why?

Mike: in lagos
Mike: you know there is no money here like that of your country us

Me: Where is the closest place to you that could buy them?

Mike: i dont think there is
Mike: coss all this african country does have that kind of money
Mike: i dont know if you get me

Me: I guess so. But what are we going to do then?

Mike: i dont know for now
Mike: but how are you doing

Me: Ok I guess, but I think I need to get out of here before the police find me.

Mike: okay
Mike: but what will be the next thing to do now
Mike: do you have any idea

Me: I don't know. Maybe I can melt the coins down and just sell them as gold. I hate to burn so much money that way, but if it will get me a few thousand dollars, it might be enough.

Mike: no
Mike: that is not the best
Mike: dont melt it

Me: Well, what then?

Mike: is there no any other place
Mike: cities

Me: Maybe. If I go somewhere far away, maybe they won't know about what happened here. Maybe I can go to Canada or Mexico
Me: Or Europe.

Mike: k
Mike: but you just have to be carefull

Me: About what?

Mike: i mean you should take care of your self for me

Me: Oh. Right that.
Me: You're going to like this watch.

Mike: forget abou t that

Me: I want you to have it. Don't worry, I cleaned it up. There's no blood on it except a little in the between the crystal and the casing.

Mike: you know i dont want any thing to scrash this your fine sking

Me: You can hardly see it.

Mike: i keep on dreaming about you

Me: What kind of dreams?

Mike: sweet dreams

Me: That's nice. I'm going to go now. I'm hungry. I haven't eaten since before I shot that guy. I was too nervous to eat, but you always make me feel better.

Mike: good me too
Mike: i have been scared too

Me: Don't be scared. Everything will be fine soon.

Mike: about what happend
Mike: i mean i was worried of if any body saw you

Me: Well, there were a lot of people outside in the street, but no one seemed to notice me. I hope it's not bad that I called you from the store. do you think the police will find out about that?

Mike: i dont think so
Mike: because the number was hiden

Me: Yours or the stores?

Mike: the stores

Me: Oh. So that means that your phone number won't show up on the store's phone records?

Mike: even if it show it does not mean
Mike: coss they may thing it was one of there custormers

Me: Ok good. That would suck if this somehow got you in trouble.

Mike: well i dont think so

Me: Good.
Me: Ok, I'm going to go get something to eat.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

I think you're a bad influence on me, luckey. First you make me shoot a guy and now I find out I stole his watch and wallet too!!

By the way:

Quote:

I think I have been very luckey.

Hilarious.

Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 6:20 pm

Very funny, dude! Is this guy suckered or what..

Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 7:26 pm

i just wanted to say i have read a couple hundred pages of stuff on this forum (wickedest evil, jewel heist, among others....) but this one..... the chats you have had with this guy finally motivated me to join up. Fricking hilarious, and i hope you can keep him on the hook for more fun!!!!

Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 8:50 pm

^^Thanks motorbait! Very Happy

Glad you decided to jump in. Let me know if there's anything I can help you with.

I don't usually do the chat thing because it's so time consuming, but this is a lot of fun.

I wasn't going to bother posting today's chat, but after that endorsement...

Quote:

Me: I'm sorry I didn't call you.

Mike: i have been waitin for you

Me: I've been sleeping a lot.

Mike: waoh

Me: I don't know why, I'm just sooooo tired.

Mike: that is nice
Mike: really?

Me: Not so nice. I can't seem to wake my self up.

Mike: SURE

Me: I also feel like I'm going to throw up.

Mike: that means you have to see a dortor
Mike: dorctor

Me: I can't go to a dorctor. It's too risky.
Me: I think I'm OK. Just tired.

Mike: why?

Me: I don't know, I think the police might be looking for me.
Me: I don't trust doctors.

Mike: ok if you say so
Mike: why?

Me: I just don't like them. They're always trying to look at my virginia.

Mike: K

Me: Once a doctor made me breath into a mask and I got sleepy. When I woke up, my clothes were all messed up.

Mike: relly

Me: What was wierd about that is that I went to see him because I had an ear infection. He never even looked at my ears.

Mike: but why must he do that

Me: What?

Mike: i said why must the dorctor do that ?

Me: do what?

Mike: is unfair

Me: I don't know what he did exactly, but it can't have been good.
Me: You know what's weird? I only feel sick in the morning.
Me: Have you ever heard of that before?

Mike: no

Me: Then sometimes I don't want to eat anything even though I am hungry. And then other times I feel like eating strange things together like pickles and ice cream.
Me: Isn't that strange?

Mike: yes ineed it is
Mike: are sure you are okay

Me: I guess so. I'm just very tired. So very tired.

Mike: i thinking of what you did with tom

Me: Let's just forget about that. That was a long time ago.

Mike: may be that is the result

Me: You mean about how he made me mad?
Me: I still think I should shoot him in the penis.

Mike: but may you are prignat

Me: You think I'm making a baby?

Mike: yeah

Me: No way. I wouldn't know how to make a baby. I haven't even finished college.

Mike: then you must have to see a dorctor
Mike: and do test

Me: There's nothing to test. My mom told me you can't make a baby until you learn how, and they don't teach you how until the last week of college. That's what she told me.

Mike: then she must have tell you lie

Me: Why would she do that? What are you saying?

Mike: i dont know
Mike: but that is the truth

Me: Is this another one of your jokes? I'm in no mood for jokes.

Mike: ok let just forget about that
Mike: and talk of some thing els

Me: Wait a minute. You can't scare me like that and then just say to forget it. Are you kidding me or not?
Me: I don't think my mom would lie about something like that.

Mike: ok then lets forget it but that is the tuth

Me: How do you know? How could it be?

Mike: how old are you now?

Me: I'm 19. Almost 20.

Mike: ok
Mike: dont you offer biollogy in school ?

Me: What's that?

Mike: the study of liveing things

Me: Yeah, we had that.
Me: Mostly about germs and stuff.

Mike: i mean the study of plant and animal

Me: I had one class where we talked about cooking and cleaning. Is that what you mean?

Mike: no
Mike: well when a girl is above 12 and have sex with a boy
Mike: if care is not takeing then you may miss your period
Mike: and becomes preginat
Mike: so that is it

Me: But wait, how come only grown ups have babies? I'm not really a grown up yet. I have to be 21 to buy alcohol because that's for grown ups.

Mike: yes but you are 18 now

Me: None of my friends have babies and most of them have had sex with boys.

Mike: so you have reach the age

Me: Some of them even have sex with other girls and neither of them get pregnant.

Mike: yes but that does not mean

Me: What about the rubber band trick though?

Mike: that is sily
Mike: does not work

Me: what is silly?
Me: Do you even know what that is?
Me: brb.

Mike: no
Mike: u there ?
Mike: HELLO
Mike: dont you want to talk to me any more?
Mike: ARE U OKAY
Mike: am still waitin
Mike: are okay
Mike: oh my God
Mike: hope nothing wrong have happend to my Angel

Me: I just threw up. I'll be back in a minute. I have to throw up again.

Mike: what do you mean by that?
Mike: okay am waitin

Me: Whew. Ok I'm back. That was gross.
Me: Are yo still there?

Mike: yep
Mike: am here

Me: What were we talking about?
Me: Oh yeah, the rubber band trick. Do you know about that?

Mike: about what?

Me: The rubber band trick. You said it wasn't true, but do you even know what it is?

Mike: no
Mike: i dont
Mike: how is it done?

Me: Than why did you say it doesn't work? And that it's silly?

Mike: ok
Mike: coss i have never had about that befo

Me: Oh.

Mike: yep
Mike: so lets talk about something els
Mike: plz

Me: But you have me very worried. What if I somehow did get pregnant. What would I do?

Mike: we will talk about that latter ok
Mike: are still going to come down here?

Me: Well yeah. I have to leave soon.

Mike: coss am thinking of traveling

Me: You are coming here?

Mike: no
Mike: i want travell if you are not comeing but if you are still going to make it then i will stay back
Mike: i wanted travell if you are not comeing but if you are still going to make it then i will stay back

(Not a chance pal. You're not going anywhere unless I send you there. Twisted Evil

)
Me: Stay back. I'm coming as soon as I can.

Mike: okay

Me: Where were you going to go?

Mike: actually we can go together if you come i will take you there

Me: Where?

Mike: actually to my home town

Me: Where is that?

Mike: you know here is city
Mike: anambra state

Me: Is that in Canada?

Mike: here in nigeria

Me: I thought Nigeria was a state?

Mike: nigeria was a country

Me: I thought Africa was the country and Nigeria was one of the states????

Mike: Africa was a continet

Me: But it's connected to other stuff. I thought continets were like big islands.
Me: Is Egypt in Africa?

Mike: yes

Me: So where is the Middle East?
Me: Is that a country or a state?

Mike: in nigeria we have about 36 states heere

Me: So how many countries make Africa?

Mike: that is a continent

Me: And where is the Middle East?

Mike: so many of them
Mike: i cant tell
Mike: nigeria is located in west africa
Mike: that is all

Me: I know about Liberia and Ghanna and Nigeria and Ivory Coast and Yovalen

Mike: yes there are so many others
Mike: but lets not go into that
Mike: okay
Mike: so tell me how is it going to be now?

Me: How is what going to be?

Mike: yep
Mike: i mean how are you prepearing towards comeing down here
Mike: in nigeria
Mike: have found a sollution to the cion

Me: Well, I'm still trying to figure out the whole money thing.

Mike: yet

Me: Wait, what?
Me: What about the coins?

Mike: the whole money thing.

Me: Did you say you have a solution?

Mike: no

Me: Oh, I get it. You were asking me.

Mike: yes

Me: I don't know what to do, and I feel so tired I can't even think.
Me: Will you still love me if I have a baby that isn't yours?

Mike: if you can not make then lets just forget it for now

Me: I don't want to forget anything. I'm coming there if it kills me.

Mike: since you still have where to stay till next season

Me: I won't. I can come as soon as I get a few thousand dollars.
Me: That's not much.

Mike: what will kill you

Me: It's just an expression. It means I will try hard to go there.

Mike: the reason why am saying is that i dont want you to keep on stressing your self

Me: You don't understand. I AM stress. That's my middle name.

Mike: i feel your paine too
Mike: really

Me: The only thing that will bring me relief is to be with you. Then all of my problems will end.

Mike: sure?

Me: I have to go soon. I won't have a place to live at the end of this month.
Me: My dorm is only paid for until the end of December.

Mike: i thought it still last till feb or march

Me: No. Just the end of the year.
Me: I have to hurry.

Mike: okay then
Mike: but i dont want any thing that will hurt you
Mike: that is why am saying

Me: What do you think about this idea? What if I just sell the coins little by little.

Mike: istead of geting hurt i prefer chating with you

Me: Like a few now to buy a plane ticket. None of the fancy ones, just the regular ones that won't be so suspicious.
Me: I'm not going to get hurt unless I stay here.
Me: If I stay here I will be killed or put in jail.

Mike: okay then you must have to come down here

Me: That sounds like a good idea.
Me: What about the coins?

Mike: so that i will always feel good

Me: yeah yeah. The coins! Concentrate man.

Mike: yes what did you say
Mike: what about him

Me: Snap out of your little dream world and pay attention. What if I sell just a few of the coins. Not the fancy rare ones, just the ordinary ones. Enough to buy a plane ticket.
Me: Then I can bring the rest with me and we can sell them as we need money.
Me: Never too many at once.

Mike: that is nice but
Mike: how much are we talking about now
Mike: how much for the ticket

Me: Just a few thousand. Enough to buy a ticket and have a little pocket money when I get there.
Me: I haven't priced tickets yet. It can't be much.

Mike: like how much

Me: I don't really know. Maybe three or four thousand?

Mike: for the pocket money

Me: How much will I need?

Mike: i saw one house
Mike: as i contacted one of the Agent
Mike: and he told me that particular one is 10,000

Me: Was it nice?

Mike: 4 rooms

Me: Did you take pictures?

Mike: yes

Me: Send me the pictures I want to see it.

Mike: and another of $15,000 and another for
Mike: $8000

Me: The prices don't mean anything to me. Can you send pictures?
Me: I want to see them.

Mike: but i dont have the picture

Me: What happened to them?

Mike: here in nigeria they dont easly give out pictures

Me: Just take some. No big deal.

Mike: coss he may think am not searous

Me: Serious people take pictures.

Mike: yes
Mike: but i know you will like them

Me: I want to see them.
Me: I want to see where I will be living. It will give me hope.

Mike: but i have seen it
Mike: since i have seen it you have
Mike: okay
Mike: since i have seen it you have too
Mike: hello
Mike: are you mad at me
Mike: ?

Me: I just want to see it. Is that so bad?

Mike: No
Mike: but i cant get the picture

Me: I mean I'm over here doing all this weird stuff so we can be together and it's nearly killing me. I ask you for a stupid little picture and you just say no.

Mike: they wount give me

Me: Did you say please? That usually works for me.

Mike: you dont get me
Mike: is not as if i dont want to but they may not give me
Mike: but i will try
Mike: and see if they will or not

Me: Just grab a camera and take some pictures. How hard is that? Even if it's only the outside.

Mike: okay
Mike: i will try

Me: Thank you.

Mike: u
Mike: so how is it
Mike: i mean how are you going to raise the money then
Mike: hello

Me: I think I'll try to sell a few of the coins. Just a few. I think when I went in with the whole collection, that was too suspicious.
Me: Then when I live there, we can sell them a little at a time so the coin stores there won't run out of money.

Mike: yes but i never thougth of that

Me: Good idea?

Mike: yes
Mike: hope you will be comeing with that of house

Me: you mean the money? no problem.

Mike: yep
Mike: okay

Me: I was thinking I should wear a disguise when I go to the coin shop.
Me: I mean a different coin shop. The first one is probably closed. LOL

Mike: how?
Mike: DO YOU INTEND TO DISGUISE

Me: I don't know. Maybe like a mask or something.
Me: So no one will recognize me.
Me: Do you have any ideas?

Mike: no but that idea is gud
Mike: but do you have a mask
Mike: ?
Mike: regarding where we will stay when you come
Mike: i was thinking that staying in a hotel will be the best till we move into our own apartment
Mike: <ding>

Me: brb

Mike: what?
Mike: brb

Me: brb= be right back.
Me: I thought I was going to throw up again.

Mike: ok
Mike: i got it
Mike: so how about that idea
Mike: ?

Me: that's good.

Mike: ok

Me: Since the coins are a lot more valuable than I thought, so I'm not so worried about money any more.
Me: I'm going to go now. I feel sick again and I need to take a nap.

Mike: really
Mike: so what is the matter this time arround

Me: same thing. I don't know what's wrong with me.
Me: Maybe I'm not drinking enough milk.

Mike: plz don sick
Mike: okay

Me: I don't feel sick like sick sick. Just sick like sick.

Mike: ok
Mike: can we meet at chat tomorow
Mike: same time

Me: If I feel up to it. I might just take a day to sleep and rest.

Mike: that mean we cant chat

Me: maybe. let's see how I feel.

Mike: tomorrow

Me: maybe.

Mike: you will feel beter
Mike: okay

Me: ok thanks doctor.

Mike: i will pray for you

Me: yes, please. Pray for me. Pray like there's no tomorrow.

Mike: but am not a dorctor

Me: I was just kidding.

Mike: okay my Angel
Mike: so can you call me too

Me: ok.
Me: but not today. I'm tired.

Mike: you promiss to call tomorrow

Me: ok I gotta go. I need to throw up.

Mike: aright my Angel
Mike: Love u

Me: i just threw up a little in my mouth.

Mike: k
Mike: but how do you mean by threw up
Mike: i mean how do you threw up
Mike: ?

Me: the stuff in my stomach came up and leaked into my mouth a little bit.
Me: vomited.

Mike: okay
Mike: just try and see a dorctor okay

Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:59 am

I'm starting to think he may not really love me. Sad

I told him I was hopping on a plane, and this was his response:

Quote:

Hi Angel ,

how are you doing at this moment ? i received your mail that you haven't been online much because you where still feeling sick, how is the situation like now ? it hurts me so much to
hear that you are still sick,mean while did you see the dorctor as i instructed you ?

well i received your mail yesterday with the good news that you have raised 8,000 cash now
less the money you spent for a bus ticket back home..

you and i knows that Amount is too small for you to start comeing with it, i was discauseing with the Agent yesterday as i was askeing him to get me the picture of those houses so that i can send it to you but i was made to understood that we have to pay for
at least for two years .

that is another problems now so what do we do now ? as you and i know that my uncle will
not allow us to live in his house.

so if you must come you still have to sale some more coince to come up with about $30,000. to $50,000 so that we will not lack any thing okay.

please get back to me as soon as you receive this also try and meet me at chat at our usuall time so that we will discaued more there also call me please i need to speak to you
my Angel.

love frome mike

Not quite a Newb Joined: 18 Sep 2008 Posts: 38

Dayum. That is a nice piece o' work. Keep it up. Smile

Master Baiter Joined: 12 Nov 2008 Posts: 104

I think this one is a keeper Confused

Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 10:57 am

I'm loving it so far. Bet you can find a really good coin dealer in say Cote d'Ivor.

Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:38 pm

What a relief. He's changed his tune and agreed to meet me at the airport.

Quote:

Hi Sweet Heart,

Bebe i cant wait to meet you my Agenl, Once you arrived there just call me at 080xxxx or 080xxxx so that i will locate you there mean while i will be at the Air port by 4.30.00 pm waitin for you okay.

Quote:

Hi Sweet Heart,

i received your mail inline with the FLIGHTS TICKETS well is okay by me i will meet you
at the Air port.

wish you safe jurney my Angel.

Now if I can just get through security while wearing a mask and concealing a firearm. Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 12 Nov 2008 Posts: 104

thats funny

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

I love reading your bait Luckey!
You are so funny, glad you are sharing with us.

Posted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 6:51 am

Damn, luckey. I'm not sure how the hell I missed this one, but glad to have found it. Seriously hilarious shit you've got going on here. I sense a layover at an airport somewhere, and hassles with customs, leading to missing a connecting flight. Great work, man. Let me know if you need a guy to make a call. This guy is fun. Smile

Dumb Shit wrote:

Mike: why all this is happening

The poem Mike, the damn poem wasn't read fast enough. Laughing

Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 2:36 pm

After the crappy night I've had in RL, THIS was truly a joy to behold! thank whatever god I hold holy I'm housesitting (and therefore alone) when I almost spat out my dinner in laughter.

Thanks, guys I REALLY needed this pick me up! You rule

Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 3:13 pm

^^Glad to be of service! Very Happy

Mike's a little worried. It seems his angel was not on the flight:

Quote:

Hi Angel,
how are you doing at this moment? hope all is well with you over there? yes indeed i received the flight tickect and expected to have you here in my country but unfortunatly i was at the Air port on 20th Dec by 4.pm like i told you that i will be there waitin for you
but to my greated suprise i did not see or hear from you what happend? i hope all is well with you because i have not being my self since then.
please do get back to me so i can have rest of mined thank you i love you Angel.

I hope I'm not keeping him from going home for the holidays. Twisted Evil

Quote:

PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU CALL ME ALSO GIVE TO ME THE NUMBER I CAN REACH
WITH PRESENTLY OKAY

Professor So and So wrote:

The poem Mike, the damn poem wasn't read fast enough. Laughing

The subject of every email between us is: "RE: Interesting Poem I found online" Cracks me up every time I read it.

I may take you up on your offer to call. Check your PMs. Cool

Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 4:12 pm

Bump.

Just an update. This isn't dead, I've just been lazy about it... but of course it's the lad's fault.

Quote:

1/23/09 at 2:07 PM hey are you there?
1/23/09 at 2:07 PM plz meet me at chat tomorow at useual time 1/23/09 at 2:10 PM 3 30 your time
1/23/09 at 2:11 PM miss u
1/23/09 at 2:11 PM hi

1/26/09 at 11:09 AM well i miss u very much see you tomorow same time thank you
1/26/09 at 11:10 AM if you really wants to talk to me then meet me at chat the same time tomorow.
1/26/09 at 11:10 AM HELLO ARE YOU THERE ?

1/26/09 at 11:42 AM BYE TILL TOMOROW
1/26/09 at 11:43 AM hi angel

1/27/09 at 10:55 AM <ding>
1/27/09 at 10:55 AM are there ?
1/27/09 at 10:55 AM i told you to meet me at chat to day but you failed me why ?

1/27/09 at 10:56 AM hello am stilll waitin

Ignoring lads can be fun too. Twisted Evil

He also sent me this email, along with about a dozen requests to meet in chat:

Quote:

Hi Angel,
How are you doing at the moment with hope all is well with you over there? well regarding
the question you aske about Where the hell am i? and Why did i leave where i was ?
the answer is am presently in the village . i left where i am because of you.

i was too forstrated because you failed me on your comeing mean while i told my uncle and friends about your coming and we all went to the Air port to wellcome you and unfortuenately you did not come so i cant face the enbarisment so i have no other choice than to travel to the village .
if you really wants to talk to me then meet me at chat the same time tomorow so that we will talk ok bye and have a nice day thank you .

love frome Mike

My reply:

Quote:

Hi Mike,

What the hell are you talking about? I've been trying to get to you for months. Is it my fault that asshole in customs arrested me? It's a miracle from God that I managed to get out of there. I've been trying to find a boat that will take me to Africa but I don't even know where the hell you are right now, so I don't know where to go, or even if you want me to come there. I'm so mad at you. I'm starting to wonder if you really love me.

I've made a new friend in France. She's letting me stay with her. Maybe I won't bother coming to you since you don't love me anymore. I'm safe with her.

Angela Sad

@Ima: I think Im3lda lives in France, doesn't she? Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Imelda has lived in many places. She's currently in Amsterdam, I think. She could go back to France, if you'd like. She has a friend there whom you may know. Wink

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 3:19 pm

I think Mike really did head for his village. He's been very difficult to get in touch with lately. His IP has changed. Him most recent tracks to Kaduna, Nigeria.

Here's his latest:

Quote:

i am very very sorry about the asshole in customs arrest, it is not your fault and am not blameing you for that mean while am so happy that you where save.

regarding what you said about not being botherd coming to see me here in Africa, since i don't love you anymore. well i want to let you know that i still love you but just that am still in the village you made me to stay this long because i never intend to stay this long our oraginal plans was to travel together down to my village for the x massthen after that we come back to lagos.

before the hole things failed us. so that does not mean i dont love you any more, i still love you and loveing you is the most happiest thing that has ever happend to me. so get that into your head that i still love you and loveing you is what i am living for............

in your next mail please send me the number that i can reach you with okay have a nice day my love mean while i will soon try and make an arragement to come back to lagos where i used to stay.

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 3:34 pm

oh god, I was ok until your dad started having sex with your brother then I'm afraid to say I started crying with laughter. I mean I know it's not a funny subject but its the matter of fact way you put it that made me lose it.

Fantastic bait hon! I suspect you might find someone to "fund" your trip over there if you were to agree to pick up a package for them to bring back. That might be interesting...

Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 8:47 pm

Looks like he's back. Just in time for Valentine's day. Very Happy

Quote:

Mike: hello
Me: I'm done with you.

Mike: yes nice to meet you i have been here waitin since

Me: Did you come to say goodbye?

Mike: no

Me: To apologize?

Mike: but to talk to you
Mike: actually i was just reading your mail

Me: What is there to talk about. You have left me stredded.

Mike: no i have not
Mike: and will never do that

Me: You've been ignoring me for weeks. And making stupid excuses.
Me: What's her name? Is she pretty?

Mike: am sorry for not meeting you since all this while

Me: I hope you have a good life with her.

Mike: who?

Me: How many coins does she have?

Mike: sorry who and what are you talking about
Mike: ?

Me: Your new girl friend. Don't play dumb.
Me: I've been through this kind of crap before.

Mike: there is no body and you knew it

Me: Im3lda says you're cheating on me.
Me: I believe her.

Mike: no am not

Me: are too

Mike: beleive me

Me: why?

Mike: because i love you

Me: and who else?

Mike: and i left lagos to the village because of you
Mike: no body else
Mike: okay?

Me: What are you talking about. I'm not in that stupid village?
Me: Can't you keep all of your women straight?

Mike: Angel please there is no other person than you

Me: Pleeeeeaaaaase. I'm not stupid.

Mike: i know and that is why am telling you this

Me: telling me what?

Mike: you must have to believe me okay

Me: you're not saying anything. What is there to believe?

Mike: i love you and that is the GOSPLE TRUETH

Me: So what the hell are you doing? Why have you been avoiding me, and why are you hiding in some mud puddle somewhere?

Mike: Please i can explaine

Me: yawn.

Mike: what?

Me: you're boring me.

Mike: please you must have to hear me out

Me: make it good. zigfield is out front.

Mike: please my love
Mike: there is no other woman in my life

Me: so, what then?

Mike: good

Me: I didn't say I believe you, I just want to hear what you're going to come up with.
Me: Are you putting your boots on? Do you have a nice big shovel?

Mike: you know i expected you during the december period
Mike: oh come on why are you sounding like this

Me: because I'm stuck here in froggyland surrounded by a bunch of foreigners who eat wierd shit and hate Americans.
Me: Thanks to you and that stupid poem curse you put on me.

Mike: am sorry about that k
Mike: you know i expected you during the december period and you did not show up , i wrote you many times but no answer

Me: I was being detained by customs. I told you that weeks ago. What the hell?

Mike: yes
Mike: but i was forstrated
Mike: becase i did not hear from you
Mike: then
Mike: so i must tell you the xmass was the worst xmass i have ever celebrated

Me: Did you eat a lot of paint chips when you were little or something? I'm all like "I got arrested by customs but I escaped." and you're all like "yeah that's good but I was sad so I ran home to my mommy and pouted like a little bitch for three months.

Mike: am sorry about every thing okay
Mike: please forgive me okay
Mike: am realy realy sorry for every thing

Me: So what now? Do you expect me to drop everything and come live with you in some little gilligan's island hut or something? I'm not making any bread out of dirt to feed you.

Mike: how do you mean

Me: Where the hell are you is what I mean. Put down the paint chips. They're not good for you.

Mike: actually you know i promiss you that i will try and come back to lagos

Me: When? Do they have nursing homes there?

Mike: today

Me: Really?

Mike: yep

Me: You mean it?

Mike: yes
Mike: you know you really mean alots to me
Mike: i have been woried about you since all this while

Me: I'm afraid to come there now.

Mike: why?

Me: I'm afraid you won't want me if you see me.

Mike: now tell me what realy happend?

Me: Nothing happened, but I've put on a little weight.

Mike: come on why wont i want to see you
Mike: ?

Me: You've always said how nice you think I look, but I don't look the same. I think it's this gross french food. My face looks bloated, and my tummy is getting bigger.

Mike: is that all?

Me: My skin isn't so good either. I break out easily now. More of that french food, I think.
Me: By breasts are bigger though, you'll probably like that. LOL

Mike: well am realy sorry about that

Me: It's OK. I understand if you don't want me to come. I know how guys are.

Mike: well that does not mean
Mike: what matter here is that no matter what i love you okay

Me: But will you love me if I'm not pretty? That makes no sense.

Mike: yes the fat that you are nice to me i will
Mike: and always do love u

Me: but I probably wouldn't love you if you were all bloated and zitty and gross.

Mike: but you have seen my picture
Mike: hello

Me: yeah. that was a cute picture. but you saw lots and lots and lots of my pictures, and I don't really look like that. If I suddenly saw you and you were like a beached whale, who knows. I might just keep walking.

Mike: tell me you have not tell me why the custorms arrested you

Me: they checked my passport and said I was wanted for questioning in the US. Something about a murder LOL. I wonder what that was about.

Mike: realy

Me: yeah, but I got out of it.

Mike: waoh this is serious

Me: why?
Me: I thought it was funny.

Mike: how can they say so
Mike: did you kill any body

Me: I didn't think so, but maybe. I think those guys like to exaggerate so they will look all important and everything. I was lucky they were french men. LOL

Mike: really ? so how did you manage to escape
Mike: from them

Me: Easy. There were two customs guys, Jacques and Etienne. I gave them each a few gold coins and I showed them a few tricks I learned in the bus stations and back alleys of sin city.
Me: We were good friends after that.

Mike: k
Mike: so tell me when is your birth day

Me: It just passed.

Mike: really
Mike: what was the date

*need to stall here, not sure if I told him that already*

Me: yeah. Im3lda and I had a little celebration. I'm learning a lot from her.
Me: Did you know that a woman has to wash a certain way to get clean?
Me: I mean her private areas.

Mike: that is nice of her for takeing good care of her
Mike: no

Me: Have you ever heard of a virginia brush?

Mike: please what was the birth day date in case of next time

Me: It's not really a brush at all, instead of bristles, it has little nubbies on it, and it's soft. You have to use a special soap that is very slippery. It also has a little hook on it so it won't go in too deep, but that part has to go into another spot, to clean that too.

Me: I used to just use soap and a wash cloth, but this does a much better job.
Me: I was kind of a spaz at it at first, but she said she could do it for me until I get the hang of it.

Mike: that is not my question please

Me: What was your question?

Mike: WHAT IS YOUR BIRTH DAY DATE?
Mike: IN CASE OF NEXT TIME
Mike: <ding>

Mike: ARE YOU THERE

Me: January 17th. When is yours?

Mike: MAY
Mike: MAY 3RD

Me: Oh.

Mike: YEP

Me: Does your new girlfriend have a virginia brush?

Mike: COME ON STOP THAT I HAVE TOLD YOU I DONT HAVE ANY BODY EXECPT YOU

Me: relax dude. I was just kidding.

Mike: IF YOU DONT WANT ME ANY MORE JUST TELL ME
Mike: K

Me: No one else will have me.

Mike: K LOVE 2 HEAR THAT
Mike: SO TELL ME WHAT DO YOU INTEND TO DO NOW

Me: Makes me feel like slitting my wrists, but if it makes you happy...
Me: I don't think I can go back to the airport.

Mike: why?

Me: Um. I think they're looking for me. More chips?

Mike: but that is the only way out

Me: What about a boat? Can't I take a boat?

Mike: NO
Mike: is not possible

Me: Why? I thought you said Africa was an island.

Mike: yes but is not adviceable please

Me: Why?

Mike: they take mouths to arrive

Me: If I go to the airport, it will take years for me to get out of jail.

Mike: and i will not allow that

Me: Can you get me a fake passport?

Mike: no

Me: I could prolly take a plane if I had one.

Mike: fake passport

Me: yeah, cause the one I have now just almost got me arrested.

Mike: how do you, mean fake passport
Mike: well i cant get you fake passport

Me: Cool. So get me one of those and I will take a plane.

Mike: i said i can not get you a fake passport

Me: Oh. Bummer. So what should I do? Swim?

Mike: NO

Me: I saw a movie where this girl clicked her heels together three times and made a wish. Do you think that would work?

Mike: NO I DONT THINK SO

Me: So I guess that leaves boats.
Me: It won't take months, Africa is just underneath France.

Mike: YES

Me: Ok, good. It's settled. Where should I take a boat to.

Mike: YES BUT FORGET ABOUT BOAT PLEASE

Me: You're confusing me.

Mike: IS NOT SAFE

Me: You're a worry wart.
Me: Nothing bad ever happens to me.

Mike: PLESAE INSTEAD I WILL ADVICE YOU STAY THERE
Mike: IN FRANCE

Me: mmmm paint chips! How can we be together if I stay here?

Mike: COSS I DONT WANT ANY THING BAD TO HAPPEND TO YOU

Me: So are you coming here?

Mike: WHERE?

Me: F__R__A__N__C__E

Mike: WELL I WOULD HVAE LOVE COME
Mike: BUT CANT COME

Me: So, looks like we're back to boats.

Mike: NOT AGAIN
Mike: I TOLD YOU TO CLOSE THE CHARPTER
Mike: ABOUT BOAT

Me: Do you want me to come there or not?
Me: Do you love me or not?

Mike: YES I DID

Me: Did?
Me: But don't anymore?

Mike: BUT DONT WANT TO LOSS YOU PLEASE

Me: Ok, try to concentrate now. I have a lot of money. I can take a big, safe, expensive boat.
Me: I can take a cruise ship or something.

Mike: PLAIN IS THE ONLY SAFE WAY TO

Me: PLANE GET ME ARRESTED. ARRESTED BAD. NO GOOD.
Me: BOAT GOOD. PLANE BAD.

Mike: I STILL DONT LIKE THE IDEA
Mike: CAN I SEE YOU ON CAM
Mike: ?

Me: They don't check ID's on boats, cause they will think I'm coming right back. I'll hop off wherever and take a bus to Lagos.
Me: I don't have a cam.
Me: So what do you think?

Mike: I DONT KNOW AM STILL CONFUSED

Me: About what?

Mike: ABOUT THIS BOAT OF A THING

Me: Do you love me? Do you want to be with me? It's the only way.
Me: Can you get to Cote d'Ivorie?

Mike: YES AND YOU KNOW IT

Me: I know there is a cruise that goes there.

Mike: THE PROBLEM HERE IS MONEY
Mike: IS NOT AS IF I DONT WANT TO COME THERE OR WHAT EVER
Mike: YOU KNOW EVERY THING ABOUT ME

Me: I can send you the money. How much will it be?

Mike: I DONT KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE NOT BEING THERE BEFORE

Me: Find out.

Mike: OK I WILL

Me: Ok. I'm going to go now.

Mike: OK

Me: I'm tired, and I want to use my virginia brush to get ready for bed.

Mike: CAN YOU SEND ME YOUR PRESENT PICTUER?

Me: I don't have a camera here. I'll try to find one.
Me: Are you EVER gong to send me more pictures?

Mike: OK THAT WILL BE NICE
Mike: YES I WILL BUT JUST THAT I DONT HAVE ANY NOW

Me: OK. Have a good trip back to Lagos.

Mike: OKAY MY LOVE
Mike: I REALLY MISS YOU

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