Six months with my Senegal love lad

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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 5:09 pm

Wow. I’ve spent six months straight-baiting this love lad from Senegal. (Calls itself Doris. Guy pretending to be a gal, I’m sure.) I received the initial format (the whole "let's chat...color doesn't matter...blah, blah, blah" script) on Jan. 15.

Not too many interesting things have happened so far, but I do know that this lad has wasted lots of time and Internet money on my character.

My character, “George,” is a Hollywood movie agent and part-time poker player. Later in the bait, George gets tired of the movie industry and decides to play poker full time. Oddly, this guy is rather successful at this (unlike me).

George is, to be blunt, a bit of a moron. As he tells the lad one month into this bait:

I wrote:

I had a really * day today, sweetest. One of my poker buddies bet me $20,000 that I couldn't ride his son's skateboard down a flight of stairs. The * was right. I tried to ride down the stairs and fell. Hit my head pretty hard on one of the steps. They were cement steps, by the way. It still hurts. I had to go to the hospital for stitches and everything. And I had to give my buddy twenty thousand dollars because I DID, after all, lose the bet. Here's a picture of me with my new stitches. (Sally was nice enough to take it for me after I got back from the hospital.) The good news is that it shouldn't scar too badly, so you won't have to look at an ugly man for the rest of your life.

The lad is allegedly staying at a refugee camp in Senegal. She’s gone through several sob stories since we began corresponding. So far, she’s been in dire need of cash for:

-Her passport to come spend the rest of her life with me
-Malaria treatments
-New panties (yeah, I know – barf)
-The Reverend’s wife’s operation (Rev. being the guy in charge of the camp)
-Food (because, as the lad explains it, she’s too embarrassed to ask the Rev. for food even though she’s staying in his stinkin’ refugee camp)

Over the course of the last six months, we’ve had some interesting exchanges. Not many are actually worth quoting here, as I’ve been straight baiting. However, I’ve had a few chances to drive a stake right through the lad’s nasty little heart.

After the lad told me the sob story about being stuck in the refugee camp without food, blah, blah, blah:

I wrote:

Life there in the camp must be miserable. I'm sorry that you have to be there. But it's better than being dead, right?

The lad, requesting money for underwear:

Lad wrote:

Sweetheart, i am running out of my milk please i need to buy another one also my private wears are getting old i mean my panties, you know there are something which i am shy to disclose to Rev….

Eventually, I bother to respond to the endless “Send me money for panties!” requests. An interesting side note: This was after I collected a trophy: immigration forms, which the lad filed out and returned to me.

Oh. Did I mention that the lad is from Senegal? Yeah. The lad’s IP address and his story match. But when the idiot filled out the immigration forms I insisted “she” had to have to come here to the States, she put an Ivory Coast address down. I was not amused. (Actually, I was. Because the lad basically invited me to screw him over.)

I wrote:

I haven't forgotten about your underthings, sweetheart. After I got off work today, I stopped by Victoria's Secret. It's a very nice shop for the nice panties and bras that you ladies like so much. You already gave me your size, so the nice lady who worked there was able to help me find everything okay. I grabbed your mailing address from your immigration form. Be on the lookout for a very large box from California, U.S.A., because it's full of new clothes just for you. I found this really nice pair of panties with little lacy flowers on them. I hope you like them! (Maybe I'll get some pictures of you in them too, if I'm lucky!)

The lad, responding to that:

Lad wrote:

I am in Senegal that why i told you to send me the money so that i will buy my underwears here. The address i stated in the application form is Cote D,Ivoire address.

I tried to convince the lad to go to the Ivory Coast to pick up the big box full of panties, bras, a laptop, a new cell phone and a nice watch for the Reverend, but it didn’t happen. Wasn’t hooked well enough yet. The box was returned to me (allegedly) and is (supposedly) collecting dust in the corner of my living room.

The Reverend character was, throughout this whole bait, extremely annoying. All he did was type in all caps and beg me to send money for his wife’s surgery, my lad’s passport, et cetera. Around this time, he wrote to me to say that he’d sent two guys to the Ivory Coast to pick up the box, but needed money to get back to Senegal. I duly ignored this and started complaining to the lad about how the Reverend was annoying me.

The lad and the Reverend were, more likely than not, the same lad. I griped about the Rev. to the lad until the Rev. account went silent. Because, really, I had better things to do than converse with the Rev.

I wrote:

I don't even know why Rev. John still e-mails me. The only thing he ever talks about is money. Are you sure he's not Benny Hinn in disguise? Maybe an African version of the Bakers? I'm not quite sure that I trust the good Reverend, Lad. He seems a bit one-minded.

Besides: I'm not a homosexual. I'd much rather write to you than to some guy.

And that’s basically where things stand now. The lad hasn’t come up with any sob stories lately, so the money requests have been nonexistent. But I imagine that the idiot is busily dreaming up something horrible to try and convince me to wire some cash.

But, while he’s doing that, he’s still writing back and forth with “George.” He showed no patience whatsoever the first few months of the bait. He was talking about coming here and spending the rest of his life with “George” after ONE WEEK. But now, he/she/whatever is biding its time. Wasting its time, actually.

Also: the second quote in my sig line? That's from this lad. Smile

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 3:35 pm

Its more that 1100 miles from Dakar to Abidjan and umpteen border crossings.

http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/distances.html?n=74

Its a heck of a safari even if the lad was desperate to make it, it would possibly be beyond him to be able to fund the journey.

Id suggest that you consider Bangul in the Gambia which is about 100 miles. The lad is far more likely to be able to make that jouney and agree to a safari..... Very Happy

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 7:58 pm

Hmm...that could work, Simba. Thanks for the advice! Smile

I'll probably hold off a bit longer before I come up with a good, urgent reason for the idiot to move in any direction. The lad thinks that I'm currently off in the mountains on vacation right now. Smile

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