I said "lads", not "ladies" dammit!

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Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

My pirate broker, Barrister Peter J0hnson, is hard at work finding me lads for my pirate ship. After a rather disasterous phone call yesterday, in which Barrister Peter did not have a single lad available for me to talk to (okay, he had one, but it was obviously someone nearby that he drug in, and this lad didn't have a clue what was going on), Captain M0rgan fires off the following letter:

Quote:

Arrr, my head is full o' mead, howe'er before I retire Me feel as if Me must set some thin's straight with you. Gar. Ahoy, i am 'ery upset o'er our phone con'ersation earlier this e'enin'. Gar, Where can I find a bottle o'rum? Arrr, you promised me fi'e eager young men ready and willin' t' li'e the pirates life. Ahoy, what you deli'ard t' me was one lily-livered sea dog named Michael that was not fit t' wipe my spit off o' the bow. Aye.

Aye, me need an honest answer from you on this question. Gar. Arrr, do you or do you not have men for my crew? Aye. Arrr, if you do have men for me, how many men do you have? Aye.

Arrr, i am beginnin' t' think that you be playin' games at my expense. Gar

Barrister Peter responds:

Quote:

Attn
I received your mails look one thing with you is that
you never allow me to explain thing to you and to show
you that I really want to conclude this with you I
think you have spoke with one of the crew members and
for the ladies call me by tomorrow I get them and I am
really sorry because I have be able to check my mails
since few days now so it is today I fine out that you
have sent me several mails which I did not know so I
am sorry for that because I am looking after my wife
and to fine where I will get the money I told you to
help with ok.

So call me by tomorrow you will speck with the ladies
and try to send the money to me or when are you intend
to send it because I need it now

I hope to hear from you soon

Thanks

Bar peter J0hnson

This is not rocket science. I need five lads that want to work on my pirate boat, the Shiver 'me Timbers. He has five lads, or so he says. Now apparently he is trying to round up ladies for me. I'm a pirate, not a pimp!

Morgan has had it with this Barrister, and has turned all of the dealings over to , his first mate. Morgan is ready to make Barrister Peter J0hnson walk the plank.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Beautiful work Jayhawk. Laughing

Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 5:28 pm

It wasn't actually true about Pirates making people walk the plank, it was a Hollywood creation. Pirates just lobbed them over the side.
However, I think you are are jumping the gun a bit about not having ladies on board. They could be a good distraction when you go raiding other boats. You targets will be too busy watching a bit of top tottie on your ship's bowsprit to notice the rest of your pirates boarding from the stern.

You just need to make sure that the ladies pass the audition.

Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 5:41 pm

Whatever happened to equal employment? Has Capt. M got a complaint against hiring the ladies?

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Good work. Please keep us posted. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Inspector Gadget wrote:

It wasn't actually true about Pirates making people walk the plank, it was a Hollywood creation. Pirates just lobbed them over the side.

Hey, who's the pirate here? If I say they walk the plank, they walk the plank! Arrrr! Very Happy

I've got plenty of wench's aboard my ship. Actually, one of the available positions is that of a Wench Matron, whose job is to take care of the wenches. The gentleman hired must be a eunuch, but Barrister J0hnson assures me that this is not a problem. Then again, I kinda doubt that Barrister Johnson knows what a eunuch is. Very Happy

Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 6:13 pm

hehehe a Pirate ship modality, Me like mate. It's your bait have fun with it
It not like you are having a killer shark delivered.

Keep us posted.

Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 9:13 am

^Killer shark? Well he needs one of them to circle the water below the plank. I'm sure his Lad knows where he can get one.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Poor lad. After some slapping for not responding to me, I get this:

Quote:

Attn Sir
I received your mail I am really sorry for late reply I have so many things to do, well base on what you said I am really serious to help and I have fined the crew member but you have to give me more time to get the all the necessary approvals you want for now I can�t do any thing because I loss my big brother he will be buried this week so I have to travel by Friday this week so if you have any thing to offer please kindly do it for me not that I will not help you I will do but it will be after the barrel ok.

So I will update you as soon as I am back and tell Ensign to call me immediately.

Thanks

Bar peter J0hnson

My pirate was touched, and has offered to help track down the person that murdered his brother:

Quote:

Ahoy, the news o' your brother makes me sad. Aye, me parrot concurs. Arrr, for a small fee Me can hunt down and run my cutlass through the bastard dog that pillaged for what li'l booty thar may be . Aye, me parrot concurs.

Captain Billy M0rgan

I feel bad for this lad. His client kicks the bucket, his wife is deathly ill and needs money, and now his brother dies. It really sucks to be him.

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