Stupid/Funny or RANDOM Link/Joke of the Day

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Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 4:57 pm

The C-Monkey
A tourist walks into a pet shop in Redmond, WA and is browsing around the cages on display. While he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey, please".

The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer, saying "That'll be $5000".

The customer pays and walks out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper and says "That was a very expensive monkey - most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"

"Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."

The tourist looks at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive - $10,000 dollars! What does it do?"

"Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java, all the really useful stuff."

The tourist looks around for a little longer and sees a third monkey in a cage of its own; The price tag around its neck says $50,000. He gasps to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"

"Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's a contractor."

Laughing

Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 2:48 pm

Kissing test

http://office-humour.co.uk/item/7611/

Laughing

** Retired ** Joined: 14 May 2007 Posts: 750 Location: Air

Boop !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0SGKcTMaoY

Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 1:41 am

Now you know who's behind it all:

http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/archive/pearls-20080429.html

Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 6:30 pm

http://www.tripadvisor.com/TIQGame?nl=MU&pid=646

Interesting how much baiting has helped my geography.

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 2:32 pm

Read the headline - shocking use of the license fee Laughing

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7390109.stm

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 05 May 2008 Posts: 19

^^

What a true statement....

Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 4:20 pm

not safe for keyboard, work or kids Wink

Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 8:12 pm

cool game for passing your time

http://www.break.com/index/maze15.html

Razz

Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 9:02 am

^ again? It must be the gazzillionth time a link to this game has been posted.

You win a trip to Nigeria. One way. On foot.

Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 10:32 pm

Why was this thread unstickified?

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 3:27 am

Because someone complained that the forums had too many stickies and announcements and were difficult to navigate. We decided to do a little bit of housecleaning. If this thread is posted in continually, it will stay on the front page of GC. Very Happy

*** BANNED *** Joined: 18 Jul 2004 Posts: 2049

sheboppe wrote:

We decided to do a little bit of housecleaning.

Darling - you are beginning to remind me a lot of my wife - she will rearrange things for no other reason than rearranging things.

Now I love my wife dearly but there are times when it becomes just a tad bit too much.

Please stickify this and the other one.

Tell the person who complained to post in both threads Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 5:16 pm

^^ Have to agree - this thread is always one of the first I look for in GC and its slightly annoying to have to hunt it down - even briefly. I'd have thought having it as a sticky would also help to prevent newcomers from posting silly links etc in separate threads....

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 9:18 pm

Police are warning men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and cautious when offered a drink from a woman.Many females use a date drug called 'Beer'. !

The drug is found in liquid form and is available in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large 'kegs'. Beer is used by female sex predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go sleep with them.

A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few Beers and then ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desire to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted to.

After drinking several beers, men often awaken with hazy memories of what happened to them the night before. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as 'a relationship.'

In extreme cases, the female may be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer form of servitude referred to as 'marriage.' Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

If you fall victim to this 'Beer' scam, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your encounter with similarly victimised men.

For the support group nearest you, look up 'Golf Courses' in the phone book.

Laughing

Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 9:24 pm

Gold Hat wrote:

Please stickify this and the other one.

Tell the person who complained to post in both threads Twisted Evil

Since you asked so sweetly darling, I will reconsider re-sticking this thread and the music thread. All of the requests for them to be re-stickied have been nice requests so I will make my decision by this evening. Very Happy

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 8:55 am

^ Bump! Is it evening yet?

Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 5:29 pm

Due to the popularity of this thread, I have re-stickied it. I removed it from being a sticky because there were complaints that there are too many stickies in the forums. It appears that even though daily posts in this thread will keep it on the front page of General Chat, no one wants to "hunt it down" when they want to read it or post in it.

With this in mind, if you read or post in this thread, please don't gripe that there are too many stickies. I have given you what you asked for. Very Happy

*** BANNED *** Joined: 18 Jul 2004 Posts: 2049

Red Crusader wrote:

and here's the joke

Quote:

The weather as it gets best in Iceland

+15�C (59�f)
People in Spain use winter coats and thick gloves.
Icelanders lay in their backyard sunbathing.
SNIP
.
.
.
-300�C (-508�f)
Hell freezes!
Iceland wins Eurovision!

My apologies RC but methinks this joke actually began in Canada eh! Wink

Canucks and weather

Quote:

50�F - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Canadians plant gardens.

40�F - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians sunbathe.

35�F - Italian cars won't start. Canadians drive with the windows down.

32�F - Distilled water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.

20�F - Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Canadians throw on a t-shirt.

15�F - Californians begin to evacuate the state. Canadians go swimming.

0�F - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Canadians have the last cook-out before it gets cold.

-10�F - People in Miami cease to exist. Canadians lick flag poles to see if their tongue will stick.

-20�F - Californians fly away to Mexico. Canadians throw on a light jacket.

-40�F - Hollywood disintegrates. Canadians rent some videos.

-60�F - Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Guides begin selling cookies door to door.

-80�F - Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

-100�F - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

-173�F - Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-297�F - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

-460�F - ALL atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

-500�F - Hell freezes over. The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

There are many ways to save the planet. This is not one of them:

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20080514/tot-life-japan-bra-dc-4b7b872.html

So if you don't wear clothes and you don't go out in the rain, and you can charge your iPod.

Elite Baiter Joined: 19 Jan 2008 Posts: 1043

http://www.dougshaw.com/garfield.html

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

I was looking for something else....
http://kingkeld.blogspot.com/2008/02/goth-harry-potter-hermione-and-ron.html

Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 8:51 pm

Going with a garfield theme...

http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 589

Fat Bastard wine. http://www.fatbastard.com/our-wines.php

Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 10:25 pm

find more funny like this from my favorite local cartoonists at toothpastefordinner.com

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