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Trixi
Master Baiter
Joined: 09 Apr 2008
Posts: 173
Location: Breathing on the back of Reapers neck.
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Posted:
Fri May 02, 2008 4:57 pm |
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The C-Monkey
A tourist walks into a pet shop in Redmond, WA and is browsing around the cages on display. While he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey, please".
The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer, saying "That'll be $5000".
The customer pays and walks out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper and says "That was a very expensive monkey - most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"
"Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist looks at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive - $10,000 dollars! What does it do?"
"Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java, all the really useful stuff."
The tourist looks around for a little longer and sees a third monkey in a cage of its own; The price tag around its neck says $50,000. He gasps to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"
"Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's a contractor."
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Corona
Baiting Guru
Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8809
Location: On ya left!
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Posted:
Sun May 04, 2008 2:48 pm |
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smartbomb
** Retired **
Joined: 14 May 2007
Posts: 750
Location: Air
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Posted:
Sun May 04, 2008 8:51 pm |
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Boop !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0SGKcTMaoY |
_________________ x8 x49 x5 x6 x3 x3 x10 x4 x2 x2 x4 x2
x7 a few
Click Here for Free Wigs !
i am no more a baby for going through this kind of stress for 200 pounds. : Hammed - Another satisfied MT7N S3cur3 customer.
l will never lose my leg in Jesus name.......ameeeeeeeeeeeeeeen l can see that you are totally MAD, FUCK YOU TOO!!!!! : Mr Yusuf |
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ChainYanker
Collecting TShirts the Hard Way
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 1497
Location: Shouting "Fire!" in crowded theaters across America
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Posted:
Mon May 05, 2008 1:41 am |
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Now you know who's behind it all:
http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/archive/pearls-20080429.html |
_________________ x3
FEMALE
"This deal does not have anything to do with religion because we are talking about $10.150 million us dollars" -Bangu Mali
"YOUR DEATH IS AT HAND HENCE YOU LEARNT HOW TO DOUBLE CROSS OTHER GUYMAN KEEP IT ON AND WATCH OUT" -Don Jack
"why is it that you dont believed that the unicorn is avaialabe" -Victoria Smith
"i have seen that you are not financially capable to handle this great opportunity maturedly" -Muhammad Bla1se
Earned a pony, earned a bun, still not sure what they mean --> |
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jojobean
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 7586
Location: YOU WILL DRINK YOUR URINE IN A COMERCIAL BUS
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Posted:
Tue May 06, 2008 6:30 pm |
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http://www.tripadvisor.com/TIQGame?nl=MU&pid=646
Interesting how much baiting has helped my geography. |
_________________
Christ Ghana-Chad
Miracle Benin-Chad
Omar Edo-Abeche
Adamu Lagos-Abeche
Emi - S Africa-Egypt-Sudan 10k miles
Chris Dakar-Niger-BF-Cameroon-Lagos-Mali-Nairobi 9.6k miles
Kevin Accra- BF x2, Togo x2, Kumasi x3, Bolgatanga, Benin City, Tamale x2 5k miles x 6
Kenny 3k miles- dont f*ck me up about the payment plz. i have a policy about that. I JUST GOT A SMALL GOAT TODAY AND ITS IN MY HOUSE NOW. i lobve the goat.
Ben 2.5k miles
Misc Germany-Holland, Atlanta, Beijing-ChangZhou, London-Glasgow, TIMBUKTU x 2 |
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Rorschach
419Eater is my life
Joined: 31 Jan 2005
Posts: 266
Location: Behind you
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Posted:
Fri May 09, 2008 2:32 pm |
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Read the headline - shocking use of the license fee
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7390109.stm |
_________________ You know what I wish? I wish all the scum of the earth had one throat, and I had my hands around it.
BRUNO HAYFORD: "you are an eel, 75% negative, 10% positive, 10% amorphous and 5% blank" |
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Big Dog
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 05 May 2008
Posts: 19
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Posted:
Fri May 09, 2008 6:13 pm |
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^^
What a true statement.... |
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Agi Hammerthief
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 12 Mar 2006
Posts: 671
Location: .de
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Posted:
Sat May 10, 2008 4:20 pm |
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remmy223
Elite Baiter
Joined: 12 Jun 2006
Posts: 1734
Location: butt f*** middle of nowhwere
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Posted:
Sun May 11, 2008 8:12 pm |
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wokabo
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 23 Sep 2004
Posts: 825
Location: best beer country in onomatopoeia world
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Posted:
Mon May 12, 2008 9:02 am |
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^ again? It must be the gazzillionth time a link to this game has been posted.
You win a trip to Nigeria. One way. On foot. |
_________________
Fight My Brute |
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ChainYanker
Collecting TShirts the Hard Way
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 1497
Location: Shouting "Fire!" in crowded theaters across America
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Posted:
Mon May 12, 2008 10:32 pm |
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Why was this thread unstickified? |
_________________ x3
FEMALE
"This deal does not have anything to do with religion because we are talking about $10.150 million us dollars" -Bangu Mali
"YOUR DEATH IS AT HAND HENCE YOU LEARNT HOW TO DOUBLE CROSS OTHER GUYMAN KEEP IT ON AND WATCH OUT" -Don Jack
"why is it that you dont believed that the unicorn is avaialabe" -Victoria Smith
"i have seen that you are not financially capable to handle this great opportunity maturedly" -Muhammad Bla1se
Earned a pony, earned a bun, still not sure what they mean --> |
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sheboppe
The Sparkly Member
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 5002
Location: United States
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Posted:
Tue May 13, 2008 3:27 am |
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Because someone complained that the forums had too many stickies and announcements and were difficult to navigate. We decided to do a little bit of housecleaning. If this thread is posted in continually, it will stay on the front page of GC. |
_________________ | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=135992> Official Eater T-Shirts</a> | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=81028> Premium Membership</a> | ScamWarners | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5413> Forum Rules</a> | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=51> Baiting Tutorials</a> | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=118738> Baiting Help</a> | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=137846> FAQs</a> |
x22 |
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Gold Hat
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 18 Jul 2004
Posts: 2049
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Posted:
Tue May 13, 2008 1:37 pm |
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sheboppe wrote: |
We decided to do a little bit of housecleaning. |
Darling - you are beginning to remind me a lot of my wife - she will rearrange things for no other reason than rearranging things.
Now I love my wife dearly but there are times when it becomes just a tad bit too much.
Please stickify this and the other one.
Tell the person who complained to post in both threads |
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Rorschach
419Eater is my life
Joined: 31 Jan 2005
Posts: 266
Location: Behind you
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Posted:
Tue May 13, 2008 5:16 pm |
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^^ Have to agree - this thread is always one of the first I look for in GC and its slightly annoying to have to hunt it down - even briefly. I'd have thought having it as a sticky would also help to prevent newcomers from posting silly links etc in separate threads.... |
_________________ You know what I wish? I wish all the scum of the earth had one throat, and I had my hands around it.
BRUNO HAYFORD: "you are an eel, 75% negative, 10% positive, 10% amorphous and 5% blank" |
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remmy223
Elite Baiter
Joined: 12 Jun 2006
Posts: 1734
Location: butt f*** middle of nowhwere
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Posted:
Tue May 13, 2008 9:18 pm |
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Police are warning men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and cautious when offered a drink from a woman.Many females use a date drug called 'Beer'. !
The drug is found in liquid form and is available in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large 'kegs'. Beer is used by female sex predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go sleep with them.
A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few Beers and then ask him home for no strings attached sex.
Men are helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desire to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted to.
After drinking several beers, men often awaken with hazy memories of what happened to them the night before. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as 'a relationship.'
In extreme cases, the female may be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer form of servitude referred to as 'marriage.' Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.
If you fall victim to this 'Beer' scam, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your encounter with similarly victimised men.
For the support group nearest you, look up 'Golf Courses' in the phone book.
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_________________ x 356
bike shop
you are bauitfull i will show the picture to my kid
Death man walking.
Click here to support 419Eater.com |
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sheboppe
The Sparkly Member
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 5002
Location: United States
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Posted:
Tue May 13, 2008 9:24 pm |
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Gold Hat wrote: |
Please stickify this and the other one.
Tell the person who complained to post in both threads |
Since you asked so sweetly darling, I will reconsider re-sticking this thread and the music thread. All of the requests for them to be re-stickied have been nice requests so I will make my decision by this evening. |
_________________ | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=135992> Official Eater T-Shirts</a> | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=81028> Premium Membership</a> | ScamWarners | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5413> Forum Rules</a> | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=51> Baiting Tutorials</a> | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=118738> Baiting Help</a> | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=137846> FAQs</a> |
x22 |
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wokabo
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 23 Sep 2004
Posts: 825
Location: best beer country in onomatopoeia world
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Posted:
Wed May 14, 2008 8:55 am |
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sheboppe
The Sparkly Member
Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 5002
Location: United States
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Posted:
Wed May 14, 2008 5:29 pm |
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Due to the popularity of this thread, I have re-stickied it. I removed it from being a sticky because there were complaints that there are too many stickies in the forums. It appears that even though daily posts in this thread will keep it on the front page of General Chat, no one wants to "hunt it down" when they want to read it or post in it.
With this in mind, if you read or post in this thread, please don't gripe that there are too many stickies. I have given you what you asked for. |
_________________ | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=135992> Official Eater T-Shirts</a> | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=81028> Premium Membership</a> | ScamWarners | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5413> Forum Rules</a> | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=51> Baiting Tutorials</a> | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=118738> Baiting Help</a> | <a href=http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=137846> FAQs</a> |
x22 |
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Gold Hat
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 18 Jul 2004
Posts: 2049
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Posted:
Wed May 14, 2008 6:44 pm |
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Red Crusader wrote: |
and here's the joke
Quote: |
The weather as it gets best in Iceland
+15�C (59�f)
People in Spain use winter coats and thick gloves.
Icelanders lay in their backyard sunbathing.
SNIP
.
.
.
-300�C (-508�f)
Hell freezes!
Iceland wins Eurovision! |
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My apologies RC but methinks this joke actually began in Canada eh!
Canucks and weather
Quote: |
50�F - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Canadians plant gardens.
40�F - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians sunbathe.
35�F - Italian cars won't start. Canadians drive with the windows down.
32�F - Distilled water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.
20�F - Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Canadians throw on a t-shirt.
15�F - Californians begin to evacuate the state. Canadians go swimming.
0�F - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Canadians have the last cook-out before it gets cold.
-10�F - People in Miami cease to exist. Canadians lick flag poles to see if their tongue will stick.
-20�F - Californians fly away to Mexico. Canadians throw on a light jacket.
-40�F - Hollywood disintegrates. Canadians rent some videos.
-60�F - Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Guides begin selling cookies door to door.
-80�F - Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
-100�F - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps.
-173�F - Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-297�F - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-460�F - ALL atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
-500�F - Hell freezes over. The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup. |
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thud419
Baiting Guru
Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 3193
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Posted:
Thu May 15, 2008 8:09 am |
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Newdonym
Elite Baiter
Joined: 19 Jan 2008
Posts: 1043
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Posted:
Thu May 15, 2008 1:09 pm |
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thud419
Baiting Guru
Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 3193
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Posted:
Thu May 15, 2008 6:56 pm |
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ronco
419Eater is my life
Joined: 24 Nov 2007
Posts: 265
Location: In strong opposition to sterilization laws
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Posted:
Thu May 15, 2008 8:51 pm |
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Going with a garfield theme...
http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/ |
_________________ "Once beaten,Twice Shy" - C@mila Bruc3
"JUST COME OUT STRAIGHT AND STOP BEATING BY THE BUSH, I KNOW $8000 IS A LOT OF MONEY" - Kelly-The famous zebra scammer |
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Strongside
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 27 Jan 2008
Posts: 589
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Posted:
Fri May 16, 2008 2:19 am |
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Fat Bastard wine. http://www.fatbastard.com/our-wines.php |
_________________ You are the uttermost foolishman i ever heard of mugu like your family will be licked by a dog - Dr.Timothy Landon
You claim to be pure and never indulged in Juju, we shall see soon who will come beging for forgiveness, I cast you into the deapest hell and that is where you belong you Lunatic Monkey - Dr. James Carter
DIE NOW DIE NOW DIE NOW WITH YOUR WHOLE FAMILY USELESS MAN - Thambora Vwuku
what is ur problem u what do you do in life? pease dont worry me again otherwise u will die i wil reprot this mails to my boss. You are warned - Tony Kovan |
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Rintastic
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 05 Jun 2007
Posts: 55
Location: Ohio, USA
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Posted:
Sat May 17, 2008 10:25 pm |
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find more funny like this from my favorite local cartoonists at toothpastefordinner.com |
_________________ "May God keep you people safe till we meet in person."-Mrs. R0slin W1ll1ams
Click here to support 419Eater.com
Musicians and people who like musicians: We've started a forum for the exchange of ideas and sounds for bands around the world! Come check us out at www.oblivioninc.com! |
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