NERV SAFARI TO NEPAL (9/19): A second try?

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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:08 am

If you have been watching closely, so far we had 5 indian mugus get tattoos, film a ceremony, film a baptism, and film other random things. And getting a tv ad for NERV.

I tried to get them to do another video, but they dont care about money, they want to go to Nepal and meet me on the 19th. Usually i would make them do it anyways, but the 19th is my b-day, so I will go ahead and make them meet me there.

I have no idea how much the promise of riches can drive mugus, how close to Mt Everest will they get?

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:22 am

Great baiting.
Let them climb up the mountain, maybe not all manage to make it back.

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:29 am

I just noticed that theres a city in Nepal called 'MUGU'!!. too far away from everest, maybe for the next bait. is hard planning this trip for the mugus, but i found that Namche Bazar is perfect!. check it out on wikipedia, it even has internet cafes for them to email me with desperation.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:30 am

Yikes! They are really gonna do it? You have really warped their minds, but good! I hope the thin air does them some good. Laughing

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:49 am

Nepal used to be a favourite destination for me before my health gave out, but Nepal is the kind of place where your health usually takes a dive. Very Happy

Kathmandu is a wild and lively place, backward but full of Western adventure seekers passing through on their way to the mountains for trecking or climbing, or the rivers for rafting and kayaking, so there's plently of reasons for them to miss you.

The Kathmandu Guest House is the renowned central place where people meet up and party before doing their thing. It's basic and lacking luxury but has the reputation and is quaint.

Even getting into the National Park where the mountains are located requires payment of fees and much bureaucracy, and to climb a mountain like Everest could cost $ 30,000 or more per person, but people have died at much lower altitudes.

Get them to fly or trek to Lukla, the gateway to the mountain, then trek to Namche Bazar, there's an internet cafe there. If they are still alive at that stage, then they're pretty sturdy, but a dose of giardia will finish them off. Laughing

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 11:51 am

Here is the email that I have just sent with the directions:

S4kur4:

So here is the pilgrimage. We were not able to respond faster because the location that we provided earlier is no longer available, their airport is under reconstruction or something similar. The next available place is a little bit to the north, the place is Namche Bazaar. The coordinates are 27.816667�, 86.716667�.

At first the trip might seem overwhelming, but it is much easier than it seems. Do not worry if it takes you one or two days longer to get to your destination dear brother. We are prepared to head to Namche Bazaar the moment you email us from Patna India.

Here are the instructions to arrive to Namche Bazaar from Patna. There are other forms of arriving to Namche Bazaar, is up to you to make the decision of what is the best and fastest way of getting there. Here is what most people prefer to use, seem to take longer, but the roads are better and provide faster transportation.

From Patna, India, go to Kathmandu, the Nepalese capital.

Look at the attachments and maps that we have prepared for you.

From Kathmandu, head towards Baliphi.

From Baliphi, Head towards Jiri.

From Jiri, Head towards Namche Bazaar.

The directions are very easy, you will not get lost. The destination of Namche Bazaar might seem to be exotic and dangerous. But let me assure you that it is not. In fact there is a lot of villages on the way there. In fact Namche Bazaar is very prosperous due to tourism, it is the wealthiest district in Nepal, with 7 times the average national income and twice that of the capital, Kathmandu. In addition to an abundance of hotels, the village also boasts three small museums, a stupa, monastery, several cafes (locally known as bakeries), well stocked stores, and a lot of very cheap internet cafes.

Namche has several official money changing facilities, and as it is the only place in the region to offer this service (besides Lukla), So that you can deposit the majority of the money in a bank of your choosing if you prefer.

The weather will be a little bit cold, so bring warm clothes for your pilgrimage.

Take as much time as possible, but we are expecting you to arrive there no later than the 21st of March.We will be so close to God, so great is he. And now you will receive your financial aid. Do you wish to have it in Dollars, Euros or Indian Rupees?.

We advise you dear brother, to bring a good camera for the trip. We are expecting you to take pictures of your pilgrimage from the very day that you leave your town. Take pictures as you head north, as you arrive in Kathmandu and finally on your final way to Namche Bazaar. We will use these pictures to calculate how much extra money we will provide to make up for the expenses for the trip.

You might need to bring some money for possible unexpected spending. But you will not have to worry about having money after we meet in Namche, we will provide you with more than enough.

SPECIAL INSTRUCTIONS:

You are trying very hard, so we will arrive in Namche Bazaar when is most appropriate and best for you. Specially if you arrive a few days late. However the council has demanded that when you arrive at a major city, that you should go to an internet cafe and provide us with the pictures of your pilgrimage so far. Just a few if necessary, but they wish to have them to ensure that it is all 5 of you, and no one else that is heading to meet us. And to show all of the NERV church of your faith and hard work. Do this dear brother! they are considering to make all of you the directors of Europe and Central asia for the NERV church!!!! Do not let them down. So please, at least when you arrive to Kathmandu, send some GOOD pictures of your pilgrimage, and do the same when you arrive to the Namche Bazaar. Make sure to take pictures of the land around you. And rejoice for the wonderful place is part of the perfection to God!.

I am currently in Tibet, and will have my laptop at any time to receive news from you and will fly towards Namche Bazaar as to arrive there a little bit after or before you are in Namche.

The pictures that the Council has requested might seem to be trivial, but remember that the money that they are providing is a huge amount of money, do not anger them, take the pictures and send them IMMEDIATELY as you arrive to Namche, even if I am not there in time, I will provide more than enough for the expenses made.

Brothers, the time has come, Jesus and God are smiling upon you, your other fellow 4 priests and all of you future followers! how hard have you worked so far! now at the end of this Holy pilgrimage lies the gift of God to you. Godspeed! and may the HOLY SPIRIT guide you with safety and care.

GOOD LUCK! and MAY GOD GO AWAY WITH YOU!!

and pictures, I have been nice mugu.

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 11:55 am

SOME FUN FACTS ABOUT THEIR DESTINATION!!!

The village is located on crescent shaped mountain slopes that offer stunning views of the mountains across the valley. It is a grueling 3 to 4 hour climb up from the river to Namche, and at 3,500 meters, it is possible to suffer altitude sickness here.

International phone calls can be made in the town, however this is very expensive compared to Kathmandu. The cheapest place is the one-phone government telephone office, on the second floor of the nondescript wooden building behind Hotel Buddha, identified with an official yellow sign in Nepalese with a faded paper sign in English stuck on to it. Expect a lengthy queue on Saturdays (market day).

Internet cafes are common in Namche, though they are not cheap, and it costs between 20-25rs per minute to bounce your cyber words off a passing satellite. Keep a sharp eye on the clock.

If they get to Namcha, they are then going to have to get to Lukla - a seven hour journey from Namche - can be done in one day without too much difficulty as much of the walk is flat or down hill - though remember that the final hour or so entails a steep climb up to the airstrip.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 589

Great bait Laughing

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 2:48 pm

Yakuza you demented baiter:

It looks like you have planned a nice trip for your mugus. Laughing

I want to hear all about the misadventures.

fantastic baiting Thumbs up

Will there be an encounter with a Yetti Wink

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 3:25 pm

There are many dangers you wouldn't even think of. As a Westerner you have certain benefits on your side, such as the locals will feel sure you have money and are likely to be a source of money for them, which may not be the case with your scammers. Also even I tended to tower over the locals, making me feel quite intimidating, but anyone out in the wilds is alone and vulnerable, and any outlying area is liable to have armed bandits not too far away.

If you catch any bugs, and the place is crawling with them, you won't get better at altitude. The cold and altitude will even loosen your fillings, and once things like that start happening, you find hypochondria the first disease to hit you.

Unless they arrange an organised trip with guides it's unlikely they'll get very close to the foothills even, as they'd need tents, porters, food yaks or someone booking accomodation in the 'tea houses' (shacks) ahead of them.

It's certainly worth going ahead with it as there'll be plenty of outfits in Kathmandu offering dirt cheap trips to the hills, which will either rip them off or kill them. Very Happy

From memory, you fly into Lukla airport (HA HA HA HA) and then head on up to Nache Bazar. The airport is in a natural bowl halfway up a mountain and the runway is too short, so the landing is part dog leg, giving you a nasty shock. Twin props and helicopters can be landing every few minutes in good weather. The start of the runway is the lip of the mountain and in case of screw ups the plane will be heaved over the edge of the cliff to allow the backed up planes to land.

They can't wave off planes in bad weather as they get there flying through the mountains and most fly overweight anyway.

I'm sure they'd love it.

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 3:55 pm

Anyone else here think Yakuza should get some sort of special Eater award?

EDIT: Or at least a custom tag? A good custom tag, that is.

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 4:26 pm

Yakuza, this is jsut evil. Nothing but pure evil. I love it.

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 4:41 pm

Leave word for them in Namche Bazaar that you can be found at Everest base camp at the foot of the Khumbu ice fall. The trek would be agony for lowlanders and might finish them off.

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 4:50 pm

magnificent stuff .. Can't wait to see those pics !!

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 5:18 pm

The Japanese built a hotel in Namche Bazar designed to take in their tourist flown in direct, but due to the altitude shock it had to be pressurised, otherwise it would have killed them all. Shocked

It got scuppered as the sherpas complained it was taiking business away from them, but it still exists. I believe it's called the Everest View.

You could say that you have reservations there for them. The good thing is that by the time they've trekked into Namche Bazar they'd be barely capable of speech, and to then find that they have another steep climb up to the hotel would kill them.
Very Happy

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 589

Get them to climb Everest and you will be the greatest baiter of all time Laughing

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 9:30 pm

Blimey.... this is amazing!

Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 3:08 pm

Hahahaha, Yakuza, this is a great bait! I look forward to reading it here! Thumbs up

Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 3:31 pm

Yakuza, any news from the future travelers.

Can't wait to hear about your bait

Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 2:27 am

@Gomer - did you fly into Lukla when it was still grass? It sounds as if the place has gone soft - tarmac airstrip and internet cafes! Strewth, in my day..

Rather than send the boys to Everest base camp which will be well supported all the way, perhaps you could suggest a little alternative I did myself, whereby you go up the adjoining valley (as if to Makalu or Ama Dablam) and then take a trek over the Lhotse/Nupste massif. It's marked with prayer flags at the highest point, but the altitude plays merry hell with your mind and it's a 2 day tramp without seeing a soul.

If you need maps or info (24 years out of date), just let me know.

Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 2:46 am

This is amazing.

Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 1:37 pm

I was really worried since they had not reported back to me in 2 days. I even had a dream in which i had received an email telling me that they had figured out what was really going on. But nope, i received this email 2 hours ago.

THE ADVENTURE STARTS NOW!!

REJOICE IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST

Dear brother,
Greetings to you in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,
We saw your e-mail yesterday night, today morning we discussed the matter and when we ready to give message your today's message has come.
Now after having church service we are giving this message. Right now we are preparing to give our starting time of our Holy pilgrimage as shortly as possible (in hours).

Once again thank you brother for your cooperation and guidance. As a children of God we always faithful to you and to our God. We are praying that our God may help in all our activities to fulfill His second coming task. And He also bless you abundantly and raises NERV richly all over the world.

Yours in His service,

Pr.G.Ezr4 4n4nd Kum4r.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 10 Mar 2008 Posts: 34

awesome mate....truly awesome.

have you got them taking pics as they go?

Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 1:54 pm

@GordonBennett -

no tarmac the last time I went there. It was just yellow dirt that blew up into a cloud when planes and helicopters landed.

I loved the klaxon they use to warn goat and yak herders to clear the runway.

I'd recommend that they drink copious amounts of the Holy waters from the sparkling 'clean' (no such thing) mountain streams.

Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 2:34 pm

@Yakuza
Will you post the whole bait when it's done mate? This is great Laughing

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