They're building aircraft in Nigeria...?

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Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 8:08 am

My lad (using one of his aliases) has just sent me data copied and pasted from some travel site about . The description includes such gems as:

Quote:

the air-conditioning rarely works, there are regular power cuts and the baggage handling system is chaotic. Airport security is also lacking, and pickpockets are common

Honesty is the best policy, I suppose, but this is the new manager of the airport trying to rent space to us for our service.

Of course, we're interested in how many takeoffs and landings there are each day, as this will have an effect on the quality of the dairy products:

Quote:

Landing is 50 per day and take off is 70 per day.

They must be building 20 planes a day, I guess? Or has anyone got a better explanation?

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 8:28 am

No, no, no!!

Take-offs = 70
Landings = 50
Crashes & Disappearances = 20

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 8:31 am

That's great! Of course daily rates would differ, but most airport managers like to average out the movements per day which includes those that go up, and those that come down. Along the same subject, didn't we have a Nigerian fella in the news last year who had built a Helicopter out of a Toyota Corolla? I'll see if I can find it.

Edit: Found it, it was a Honda Civic engine. I'll bet he can churn out 20 of these a day. Laughing

http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/homemade-helicopter/nigerian-man-builds-working-helicopters-from-junk-313408.php

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:05 am

There must be another airport nearby where there are 70 landings per day and 50 takeoffs. The other 20 just travel on road from one airport to the other.

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:08 am

Well, the airline-info is taken from Wikipedia, the rest looks like it's made up.

Interesting is that he gives LOS as the code of Akure Airport, while it actually should be AKR...

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:42 am

Well, the answer to the missing flights is really in that article about the home built helicopter ...

Quote:

While some of the parts have been sourced from a crashed 747, the chopper contains all sorts of surprises.

There's one of the missing 20 flights, it was a 747.

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 8:10 am

There must be some kind of African Bermuda triangle to account for the
20 missing planes

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 8:35 am

thomas-the-tank wrote:

Landing is 50 per day and take off is 70 per day.

They are not crashing they are spontaneously coming into existence, if only trunk-fulls of money did the same Wink

Elite Baiter Joined: 02 Jul 2006 Posts: 1702

Heathrow has a weird one too, (LHR)

landings are less than take off's - it makes no mention of the 50 planes in the hangers at any one time tho Very Happy

but a lads a lad we know he is lying, but its common for more take off's than landings, (but it doesnt always work that way lol eventually one must over take the other to compensate)

(planes are made on the ground, hence more take offs than landings Wink

your lad might well have a brain, its nice to bait the smart lads - a battle of wills is so rewarding lol.

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 1:15 pm

I can assure you that the lad's brain ain't too big.
Getting lost in another country for nearly a week, without money, mostly out of own stupidity, does not speak of great wits.

But he's a happy lad, and that's why we love him so much...

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:02 pm

Weird statistics like this can happen when they take off and run out of gas and have to be drawn by goat cart back to the airport 20 times a day.

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:46 pm

DarkVegetableMatter wrote:

They are not crashing they are spontaneously coming into existence, if only trunk-fulls of money did the same Wink

But they do, don't they?

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