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 First love bait (ongoing, hopefully!)

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Master Baiter

Joined: 31 Oct 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Leading myself astray

PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 10:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ok, I was introduced to Wul1 (Steph4n0r M4wul1 Agbem4fle) by the wonderful FrumpyBB and PRS Girly-girl... Characters involved in the bait are as follows:

Kristine Kochanski: Image

Sidney Beaver: Image

And of course, Wul1 himself: Image

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.
Our story starts when the evil Wul1 receives an ASEM from our heroine. After a few boring email exchanges (the usual "Do you have Yahoo?" "Yes, I do. When shall we meet" etc.) the tragic couple finally meet on Yahoo messenger.

preciouslove27: so when did your husband died?
krissy_kochanski2000: not very long ago. It was about 6 months ago.
preciouslove27: ok
preciouslove27: have my symoathy
preciouslove27: sympathy
krissy_kochanski2000: thanks. My computer is being really slow!
preciouslove27: dont worry
krissy_kochanski2000: I don't really like talking about him. It wasn't good
preciouslove27: i also lost my gril friend two weeks ago (Frumpy's Joh4nn4)
krissy_kochanski2000: oh no! How?
preciouslove27: krissy
preciouslove27: sorry i went off
preciouslove27: well we were talking bout how i lost my girl friend
preciouslove27: she colapsed and that was all
krissy_kochanski2000: that's terrible... Are you ok?
preciouslove27: i am trying to cop
krissy_kochanski2000: My computer is really bad. I'm gonna try send the pic. I don't know what's going wrong with it...
preciouslove27: she was not here in Ghana though
krissy_kochanski2000: I know how bad I was when Arnie died - I feel really bad for you.
krissy_kochanski2000: Where was she?
preciouslove27: she is a German
krissy_kochanski2000: really? did you meet her online too?
preciouslove27: yes
preciouslove27: i did
preciouslove27: she was soo loving and caring
krissy_kochanski2000: Arnie was like that when we first got married. It didn't work out actually. We were going to get a divorce when he died. But I still miss him.
preciouslove27: you know death is part of human
preciouslove27: but it becomes sad when it suddenly happens
krissy_kochanski2000: of course, but it's always hard when people die unexpectedly. Was she sick?
preciouslove27: she was sick for a month
preciouslove27: and she was okay before the colapse
krissy_kochanski2000: see that was what was so hard about Arnie - he died suddenly in an accident on the ship.
preciouslove27: i even had a chat with her at 11am on the very day she passed away
krissy_kochanski2000: oh, honey, that's awful
krissy_kochanski2000: He was fixing the drive plate and he didn't do it properly and it exploded...
preciouslove27: OOOOOOOOOO
preciouslove27: this is very heart braking
krissy_kochanski2000: I wasn't even on the ship at the time or I might have died too. I was stuck in stasis
preciouslove27: ok
preciouslove27: my girl friend was so caring
preciouslove27: because i was enrolling into a six month course
preciouslove27: she promised me a lap top so i can carry out my assignments and project works efficiently
preciouslove27: but death just laid its icy hands on her
krissy_kochanski2000: that's really terrible
preciouslove27: i just could not believe it when i was told of her death
krissy_kochanski2000: I'm sure. I didn't find out about Arnie until I got out of stasis, which was like 3 days later
preciouslove27: ok
krissy_kochanski2000: anyway, do you want to talk about something else? this is making me really sad...
preciouslove27: yes
preciouslove27: is alo making me sad as well
preciouslove27: so lets talk about some thing else

After a couple of days of really meaningless drivel, the pair start to discuss their lives and jobs. Kristine explains how she is a Navigation officer. Wul1 talks about helping his "cousin" in the "shop".

preciouslove27: so you are a vanal officer
krissy_kochanski2000: yeah
krissy_kochanski2000: I do navigation
preciouslove27: so what is your rank as a naval officer?
krissy_kochanski2000: Navigation officer! Well, I see your point - that's more like a job title.... My rank is Lieutenant. I only got the promotion last year, but on the ship rank doesn't matter too much
preciouslove27: ok
preciouslove27: i salute you

krissy_kochanski2000: so what have u been doing today?
krissy_kochanski2000: anything interesting?
preciouslove27: well i have been searching for informations about microphnes
krissy_kochanski2000: really?
krissy_kochanski2000: what for?
preciouslove27: for sound engineering
krissy_kochanski2000: cool! Are you starting your own band?
preciouslove27: no
preciouslove27: i want to study sound engineering
krissy_kochanski2000: wow. Is that what you were going to go to college for?
preciouslove27: would you have supported it if iwas starting a band?
preciouslove27: yes

Yay! A perfect opportunity to introduce Sidney Beaver - International band leader!

krissy_kochanski2000: That would be good to hear. Or maybe you can send me a tape?
preciouslove27: i olny sing in the church for now
preciouslove27: so i have no tape
krissy_kochanski2000: ok. well if you make one, I'd love a copy
preciouslove27: alright
krissy_kochanski2000: you should tho - I told you a friend of mine has a band, right?
preciouslove27: yes
krissy_kochanski2000: well, if you come over to England, maybe he can get you a job! Do u want me to ask?
preciouslove27: yes
preciouslove27: that will be very nice of you
krissy_kochanski2000: ok cool, I'll do that. Can I give him your email address?
krissy_kochanski2000: Anything for a friend!
preciouslove27: yes
krissy_kochanski2000: ok, well I should be seeing him on Monday, so I'll ask him then
preciouslove27: ok
preciouslove27: my dear
preciouslove27: i will be greatful
krissy_kochanski2000: I know he's always on the lookout for good singers. So I'm sure he'll appreciate it
preciouslove27: ok
preciouslove27: i am a goog singer too
preciouslove27: you can try and call me then you hear me sing
krissy_kochanski2000: I believe you, and I'm really looking forward to hearing you

Kr1st1ne introduces Wul1 to S1dney

Dear Steph4nor,
My name is S1dney Be4ver and I was gven your address by my friend Kr1st1ne. She told me you were interested in coming to this country as a singer. I am sure there is something I can do for you, as we are always looking for new members to join our group. I would of course need some proof of your singing ability before I can get you a letter of invitation to come to this country, but once you are here, we can provide you with very good conditions, including room and board, and a substantial salary. Firstly, please can you send me a brief CV of your singing/musical experience? No more than 5 pages, please. I would appreciate you contacting me as soon as possible, as I have several other candidates at the moment, and I have contacted you as a favour to Kr1st1ne.
I look forward to hearing from you,

Wul1 (eventually) sends his CV (which looks rather like someone wrote it for him...) which impresses both S1dney and the "board of directors" for the band.

D.O.B 24th August 1980
Nationality GHANAIAN
Contact +233 244 588 563

Royal Technical College 2001-2004 DIPLOMA
Kanda A.M.A J.S.S 1997-2000 B.E.C.E
Ghana National Prep Sch 1992-1997 PRIMARY.

English and Five Local Languages.

Reading Of Books,Plays Soccer and Love to Sing.

ROLE.Lead Vocalist,Main Tenor Leader.
Sings High Tenor, sings alto..

Plays Konka,Tamborine and Marakash. (Isn't Marakesh a city somewhere?)

Writer and Composor.

S1dney offers Wul1 a very attractive sponsorship deal IF he can pass the screening process. Since the band is in need of songwriters, and Wul1 is a composer....
S1dney asks for a copy of one of Wul1's songs. It is duly provided (on the ubiquitous scratty piece of paper).


Shame it doesn't rhyme...

More to come when I get round to organising it!

I am the deceased Attorney - Bryan Smith


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 11:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Good work, glad to see you are keeping this lad busy.

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Go f*ck yourself because I know your mum is sucking Satan's penis - Peggy Paiser
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Master Baiter

Joined: 31 Oct 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Leading myself astray

PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 11:08 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ok around the point when S1dney receives his song, Kr1st1ne gets called into her barracks to go off on her next tour of duty. She has no idea where she's going, only a vague clue that it might be Africa, and starting in Egypt.

preciouslove27: did you hear any thing about where your ship will be goig
krissy_kochanski2000: well, vaguely. It looks like we might be going to Egypt. They're going to tell us when we get a bit closer.
preciouslove27: ok
krissy_kochanski2000: I don't suppose you could make it to Egypt, could you?
preciouslove27: i cant
krissy_kochanski2000: It's ok if you can't
krissy_kochanski2000: ok
preciouslove27: cosi dont owe a pass port
krissy_kochanski2000: really??? why not?
preciouslove27: well i was not working for some time so geting it was a bit of problem
krissy_kochanski2000: oh. So what would you do if you were offered the job with Sidney?
preciouslove27: and it takes 3month to get it dome by the immigraton
preciouslove27: i am going to apply for it soon

Kr1st1ne heads off into the wide open ocean, and S1dney starts to pile on the pressure. After numerous phonecalls (fielded by Muagtu - thanks, you were great!) S1dney starts asking for more proof of Wul1's capabilities.

Thanks for your numerous phonecalls. I hope I managed to satisfy some of your questions. Anyway, I have spoken to my colleagues, and we would like to pass you on to the next round of "auditions". As I said before, we are looking for singers and songwriters. Do you have any copies of songs you have written (on paper)? I would very much like to see them. But please send me the full score, and not just lyrics. If you can just scan it and send it, then we can have a good idea of your songwriting potential. If you pass this round, we will give you 10,000 in order to transfer you over to this country for the last auditions.
Please send me a copy of your song as soon as possible,

Several emails later, Wul1 gets the message that S1dney wants a copy of the sheet music of his song! By this point, Kr1st1ne is on shore leave by the Med. in Alexandria, Egypt.

krissy_kochanski2000: How are things going with Sidney?
preciouslove27: well
krissy_kochanski2000: Really? That's cool!
preciouslove27: he asked me do present a sheet music
preciouslove27: but i have not done with sheet music before
preciouslove27: so i dont know how to go about it
krissy_kochanski2000: oh. So what are you going to do?
preciouslove27: all the songs i write ,i only write them in books and then keep them
krissy_kochanski2000: so what does he want? To see the music?
preciouslove27: i am thinking of telling him to leave me out if possible
krissy_kochanski2000: really? why?
preciouslove27: cos i have not done with sheet music before
preciouslove27: i have not produced a music album before
krissy_kochanski2000: well, won't he accept a tape or something? Why don't you tell him you don't write sheet music and ask if there's another way?
preciouslove27: alright
preciouslove27: i will tell him that
krissy_kochanski2000: From what he told me, it sounbds like a great opportunity
preciouslove27: i have not song on tape ,i only write the songs and keep them
preciouslove27: i also see it to be so
preciouslove27: i really want to do good music
krissy_kochanski2000: well, can't you get someone to record a tape for you? I'm sure it's not that expensive to just get a cheap recording made
preciouslove27: and i am not going to it because of the money ,but to help me improve upon my musical ability
krissy_kochanski2000: of course. I understand that
preciouslove27: i would have love to do that
preciouslove27: but here ib ghana its not easy
preciouslove27: as out there
krissy_kochanski2000: I'm sure. Can't you just get a tape deck that has a microphone? At least that way he can hear what it sounds like. Sidney's a really great guy, and I'm sure he wants to give you a chance. I'm sure he understands that it's harder for you than people from the UK...
preciouslove27: ok
preciouslove27: i will try and give him a call tomorrow and expalin to him and hear what he will say
krissy_kochanski2000: ok. Give it a try. I'm sure it'll be fine!
preciouslove27: thank you

So, the same evening:

sidney how is every thing?
with the sheet music you asked me for,i dont write my songs on sheet music becaosue i dont use it.
i olny write the song on books and keep them.because i have not sang in a band before,
i only sing in the church,so you just give me the oportunity to exibit my talent and i will do more great songs in
your band
i will be looking forwrd to hearing from you.

S1dney reassures him:

That's not a problem, but we do need to know what the song would sound like. Please record it on to tape and send it to me. It doesn't need to be high quality - all we need is to be able to hear the tune and a few instruments. You should be able to record it on any tape deck with a single microphone. Please do your best as this is the last thing we need before we can process your application and start working on getting you to this country.

Several more mails follow, with S1dney trying to engage Wul1's interest with offers of amazing financial comeback, and Wuli promises to send the tape as soon as possible (still waiting for it... Sad)

Meanwhile, Kr1st1ne has left Egypt, and they have been told where they are going next.

krissy_kochanski2000: hi!!! Guess what!!!!!
krissy_kochanski2000: I was just about to email you
preciouslove27: you are coming to Ghana
krissy_kochanski2000: not Ghana..... Unfortunately...... But Benin!!!!! So we're going to be close enough to meet!!! I'm so excited!!!
preciouslove27: ok
preciouslove27: that is good
krissy_kochanski2000: are u excited??
preciouslove27: yes
preciouslove27: of cause
preciouslove27: i can wait to meet you
krissy_kochanski2000: We're going to be docking at Cotonou
preciouslove27: that is the Benin capital
krissy_kochanski2000: yeah
preciouslove27: how long will you saty there?
krissy_kochanski2000: how long will it take you to get there?
krissy_kochanski2000: I don't know. We're going to do some surveying. So could be a week
preciouslove27: probably 6hours
krissy_kochanski2000: cool. We probably won't get there until about Saturday
preciouslove27: ok
preciouslove27: so will it be possble we meet on monday?
krissy_kochanski2000: yeah, absolutely
preciouslove27: how will i be able to see you?
krissy_kochanski2000: What I'll do is stay online all the time on Monday, and when you email me where you are I'll come off the ship and meet you
preciouslove27: alright,i will try and get some money for my bus fare
preciouslove27: because is a previlage for me to meet you
krissy_kochanski2000: ok. I'm sorry I can't send you anything, but I'm going to be stuck on the ship now until I meet you in Benin
preciouslove27: no
preciouslove27: no
preciouslove27: dont worry
krissy_kochanski2000: But I've got your gifts right here, and I can't wait to give you them
preciouslove27: ok
krissy_kochanski2000: And I really can't wait to give you a hug. I had a thought
preciouslove27: i am very glad i am meeting you at last
krissy_kochanski2000: Do you want me to look into getting a hotel? Maybe?
preciouslove27: you know money is not every thing
preciouslove27: when i come
krissy_kochanski2000: ok. I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to get a hotel once we're there
preciouslove27: are you purmitted to stay in a hotel?
krissy_kochanski2000: Oh, I don't know...... I'll find out. Anyway, we could get it for the day because it might be nice to go somewhere quiet so we can just chat.
preciouslove27: yes
krissy_kochanski2000: I'll ask the captain. He's a friend of mine anyway, so he might be nice! (For those of you who are familiar with Red Dwarf, the Captain's name was Dave Lister)
preciouslove27: ok
preciouslove27: what kind of gift may that be
krissy_kochanski2000: I'm not telling!!! But I really hope you like it....
preciouslove27: i am in suspence

Kr1st1ne isn't allowed to leave the ship without proof that she will be met by someone trustworthy, so (in order to get proof of the safari) Wul1 is supposed to email her when he arrives in Cotonou.

I spoke to the captain, and he is happy for me to go ashore to meet you, once he saw your picture. However, he did say that I must have proof of exactly where I'm meeting you before I leave the ship, and agreed that the idea of you emailing me from a net cafe was the best way. I have to print out the email to show him before I'll be allowed to leave the ship. I will be escorted to the net cafe (so try find one near the port!) then I will be left alone with you. The only thing is, I must stay the night on the ship, but we're not leaving Benin until wednesday, so I can meet you again on Tuesday too!! So we can spend 2 whole days together!

Wul1 seems very excited about meeting Kr1st1ne...

i will be able to make it and i am considering traveling over night then i get to cotonou during the day.but i dont know which bus i will be traveling on yet,but you know you also have to let me know where exactly the port is located in cotonou before i set off on sunday afternoon after i close from i can also know where exactly near the port i can locate a net i will be expecting some more mails from you ,from now till sunday morning before i take off.

Then, after not receiving a mail for a day, Kr1st1ne gets a big disappointment.

i replied you yesterday.but my leg is hurt. as at this moment i have P.O.P,on my leg now,i was trying to jump a gutter yesterday at about 6pm and unfortunately for me i missed a step,and broke my right leg.
Where are you now?hope to hear from you again pretty soon.

Kr1st1ne does her best to make things easier for Wul1.

Oh no!! Oh well, when you come to Benin, I'll just have to take care of you lots. I'm sure I can make it better. We'll just have to stay in one place rather than move around too much when we meet. I'll start looking for hotels now. When you email me on Monday, I'll come meet you at the net cafe, and we'll get a taxi to a hotel. Don't worry, I'll pay for everything. I really can't wait to see you - it's such bad luck that this has happened, but I'm sure we can get around it.
I can't believe I must have just missed you being online. I was having my lunch, sorry. Anyway, we're about 50 miles off the coast of Morrocco today, doing some more surveying. We'll probably be heading down to Cote D'Ivoire tomorrow. I think we'll probably arrive in Benin late tomorrow night or Sunday morning. I can't wait to see you on Monday!

Wul1 has his heart set on not going to Benin, so a bit of an argument develops.

I can't believe you're doing this to me! The one chance we might have to meet and you're not going to bother coming? I'm doing my best to make things easier for you - I've had a broken leg before, and yeah it hurts, but you can certainly get on a bus! It's not like I'm asking you to walk to Benin. I can't believe you're giving up so easily. If you don't care about me, just say so. I thought you liked me, but you're really letting me down. If you don't want to talk to me any more that's fine, but you don't have to lie to escape me!
I can't believe you're doing this after I spent all that money on you. I booked a hotel and everything. I'm really upset with you.

not that i dont want to come,i really wanted to and unfortunately some thing has ahppend to me which is very intens,i have POP ON MY LEG.are you already in BENIN?which money are you talking about?i am not trying to escape you and i am not lying to you,but the truth is what i am telling you.

I do understand that you've broken your leg, but I don't see how that stops you getting on a bus! I've already told you I'll look after everything once you arrive in Benin. It's just the bus journey and then that's it. I'm not in Benin yet, and the money I was talking about is my credit card. I won't cancel the hotel unless you tell me for definite that you're not going to come, but if you do that I'm going to be really upset with you. Is there someone else? Is that why you're avoiding me now?

Kr1st1ne accuses Wul1 of lying to her the whole time (no, really?) and tells him that if he really loved her, he would prove it.

kristine you dont beleive i am hurt right and you want me to show i love you fine,give me your number and i will call you.send me your union forms photos and also show me that you love are making me soo sad as well,because you told me you will scan your uniform pictures and send to me but you did not,you could have still post it to me when you were posting the postcard to me as you said ,you p[ost it it on tuesday.what do you say?you dont have to cry but rather think of how i will get healed and how next we are going to meet.i am seriously feeling pains now.

This email actually made me mad in real life, so Kr1st1ne corners him on Yahoo.

krissy_kochanski2000: Are you there?
preciouslove27: yes
preciouslove27: here wqith my pop
krissy_kochanski2000: I can't believe you
krissy_kochanski2000: You're so mean!
preciouslove27: come on
krissy_kochanski2000: You're acting like you don't believe me now. I'm not crying - I'm really angry
preciouslove27: this does not call for anger
preciouslove27: girl
krissy_kochanski2000: Think about it for a minuite. How can I give you the telephone number for a BOAT?????
krissy_kochanski2000: And the reason why I didn't send tyhe picture (I'm not wearing uniform in it, actually) is because I COULDN'T GET IOT SCANNED
krissy_kochanski2000: Have you any idea how hard it is to find a scanner in Egypt?
krissy_kochanski2000: And you accuse me of lying to you about the postcard! Why would I want to do that?
preciouslove27: no
preciouslove27: i am not acusing you
preciouslove27: if lying
krissy_kochanski2000: well that's what it feels like
preciouslove27: i am sorry i ssounded so
krissy_kochanski2000: I have tried so hard with you, and you've given me nothing! I bought you presents, I paid for a hotel, I was willing to do everything I could for you, and you have made me feel so bad!
krissy_kochanski2000: How would you feel if you were in my position right now?
preciouslove27: bad as well
preciouslove27: but krissy its not my fault
krissy_kochanski2000: right! So how can you tell me not to be angry and upset?
krissy_kochanski2000: PROVE IT! How can I believe a word you say?
krissy_kochanski2000: If you really loved me, you would make an effort. I thought we had something really special
krissy_kochanski2000: so now you're ignoring me. great

And a few hours later...

preciouslove27: hello
preciouslove27: kristine
preciouslove27: my dear
krissy_kochanski2000: I'm not sure I want to talk to you right now
krissy_kochanski2000: I'm still really angry
preciouslove27: dont be please
preciouslove27: i just woke up from bed and managed to come and see if you are still on
krissy_kochanski2000: Why are you at the net cafe if you can't walk?
preciouslove27: i have one croch under my armpit
krissy_kochanski2000: you should go back to bed. I think you need to give me a day or 2 to calm down a bit
preciouslove27: please do calm down for me
preciouslove27: you know if you get angry,you might end up have a high blood preasure
krissy_kochanski2000: I'm fine. I'm just really hurt and upset, and this isn't helping
preciouslove27: please dont be upset
preciouslove27: you know i was really excited when you told me we could meet
preciouslove27: and i really wanted to come as well,but this unfortunate has just happend
krissy_kochanski2000: I don't know how I can explain myself better. I'm upset because I really believed you loved me, and that was hard for me because I've been lied to before. And now it just feels so much like you're lying to me and pretending just because you don't really want to come visit me. What else am I supposed to think when you've not proved you love me at all! At least I've tried to prove I love you
preciouslove27: so where where have your ship goten to now?
preciouslove27: i loved you thats why i sent you my pictures
krissy_kochanski2000: just pictures? The guy I spoke to before that lied to me, I searched for him on the internet once I found out about him, and he was going under 6 different names in different places!!! Pictures mean nothing. That's why I don't understand why you keep having a go at me about pictures.
preciouslove27: the only yahoo i have is this one that i am chating with you on
preciouslove27: kristine
preciouslove27: i love you and have no any other mind what so ever
krissy_kochanski2000: but you have never proved anything to me, and the one chance you get to prove it to me, you have an "accident"!!!!
krissy_kochanski2000: Look, I'm getting really upset again. I think I should go.
preciouslove27: dont get upset
preciouslove27: kristine we can still meet
preciouslove27: some time
krissy_kochanski2000: HOW???????? You refuse to meet me? How the hell can we meet if you won't meet me????????
krissy_kochanski2000: I'm going. I don't want to go through this right now.
krissy_kochanski2000: I might talk to you later.
krissy_kochanski2000: Bye.
preciouslove27: but calm down and dont get upset at me

Anyway, this is still (hopefully) ongoing, and I'm sure that Wul1's leg healing will coincide with another tour of duty down to West Africa. After all, I still have a really nice newspaper article to use, and I need to get a tape from Wul1!

I am the deceased Attorney - Bryan Smith


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