Entertaining multilingual bait

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 24 Oct 2007 Posts: 33

I was brought into a bait by Slowfreddie, who wanted me to translate an e-mail to a vlad of his. After the vlad was thoroughly pissed off by the content of my translation, we decided that the best thing to do was to create a character of my own to blame it all on. Here is the first instalment of our ongoing correspondence:

Cast of characters:
N4t4l14/N4t4ly4: The vlad
St4nl3y: Slowfreddie
N4d3zhd4/N4dy4 R4dyshch3v4: Me
P4uli3: Me

1. English in original

Quote:

St4nl3y call in bank! Ask them that I should have at myself when I shall go to bank! There to you will tell that I should have number. Which you not when did not send to me. I shall try to call to you today. I hope that you can explain to me all by phone. Because it is important!
I shall fill forms when I shall receive number. Because I should make sure that you do not deceive me.
Because I doubt of that that you did not speak me it intentionally. It will be better if you can send me the receipt of translation. I can go with this paper in bank and there show her. simply make a copy and have gone it to me that I saw all. So it will be more convenient for you and for me here.
I hope to see your answer soon.
N4t4l14.

From N4dy4 to N4t4ly4:
(In which I mix up the names and sign wrong)

Quote:

N4t4ly4,

St4nl3y forwarded me your e-mail. There is no receipt. St4nl3y and I are mates, so I translated the e-mail for him gratis. Honestly, I don't see why you need my receipt. What, were you going to reimburse him?

N4t4ly4 R4dyshch3v4

Quote:

N4t4ly4, what receipt are you talking about? St4nl3y misunderstood me .
That's first thing, second thing is who are you anyway? I don't understand. If possible, explain to me where you're from, who you are, and why you wrote to me? I didn't ask you to write me at all!
Secondly, I don't understand, if they asked you to translate the e-mail, what the hell are you doing me writing me so rudely? Or didn't they teach you manners?
N4t4ly4, or N4dy4, I don't know you. And you don't know me. There's no point drawing conclusions about people you don't know.
I didn't ask you for anything. I don't know what receipt you're talking about!
Don't write me anymore. I don't want to talk to you!
Regards!
I wish you happiness, take care

Quote:

N4t4ly4, you're acting stupid, and saying bad things about me to St4nl3y. You're manipulating him, and I just don't know why. Do you love him? Or maybe you're his wife? What do you want with him? Tell me?
Tell St4nl3y that I will not insist, since you've already brainwashed him and are talking nonsense. There's nothing I can do.
Regards,
N4t4ly4,

Quote:

My name is N4d3zhda, not N4t4ly4.

In your e-mail, you said "It will be better if you can send me the receipt of translation." That means that it's better to send me the translation receipt. That's why I told you that there is no such receipt, because I translated the message for free.

As for what you call the "rude" letter, I did not add a single letter beyond what I was told to write. I translated the e-mail as it was. That's not my problem. Everyone in my organisation talks like that.

N4d3zhda R4dyshch3v4

In response to the "brainwashing" e-mail:

Quote:

What is this crap? I didn't tell him a thing. I'm not the one who told him he thinks you're going to nick his dosh. That's some other mate I don't know.

I'm not manipulating anything. I'm just a legit businessperson in a legit organisation. I have no ill intent. It seems you're friends with St4nl3y. Me too.

So there's no reason to throw your weight around. We're not enemies, as far as I can tell. We may even have common interests! Why are you slandering me? What's the point of such underhandedness? There's no point at all.

Your colleague,

N4d3zhda R4dyshch3v4

In which the vlad cocks up and can't remember what name "she" is signing under...

Quote:

Hello N4d3zhda!
It was nice to get two messages from you today. I knew you'd answer me!!!
OK, maybe I was just wrong when I said that you're at fault for everything. I really don't know the situation over there. I have a few questions for you, I hope you can answer them.
Tell me who you are!? Where are you from? Where do you live. I'd like to know that about you. Because, as much as I think about it, I don't understand how you wrote to me.
How can we be colleagues if I don't know you and have never seen you? What sort of cack is that?
N4d3zhda, maybe you're just a normal, good girl, or something like that, but I don't understand, why are you doing all this? What do you want to gain from your senseless help in translating texts? Something's rotten there, if you ask me.
Nevertheless, I'd like to get to know you better. Since we have common acquaintances, why not!
What do you mean when you say: I'm just a legit businessperson in a legit organisation????? What kind of businessperson? In what kind of company? I don't understand. If it's not inconvenient, explain it to me please.
I'll await your answer.
I have a lot of questions, but if you answer, that means that there's got to be something there.
So write me back. I'll wait.
T4ty4n4.

....and makes the lamest attempt I've ever seen to cover it up:

Quote:

N4d3zhda, I'm N4t4ly4's sister, and I want to talk with you. My sister is very mad at you and that's why I want to clear up the situation with you. She really doesn't like you getting involved in their relationship.
My name is T4ty4n4 and you can write me directly at this e-mail: [email protected]
I await your clarification.
T4ty4n4, N4t4ly4's friend (from "sister" to just "friend" in one paragraph!)

Quote:

Hello N4t4ly4!

Who am I? Well, you know my name already. I've been friends with St4nl3y for some time now. I have two places of residence- Brighton Beach and Berlin (FRG). Where I am at any moment depends on my business. I am the boss of my organisation, and I have heaps of things to take care of on both sides of the Ocean.

I rarely discuss the nature and activities of my organisation with outsiders. In my line, you never know who might be the filth or the competition. Know what I mean?

For me, helping with the translations isn't senseless at all. I help my mates. That's all.

As for "Your colleague", I just wrote that for no particular reason. I had a hunch that you already knew what sort of business I'm in. Just intuition. Maybe I was wrong.

What other questions have you got? Just ask. I'll answer to the extent possible.

N4dy4

Quote:

Good evening N4dy4.
I'm happy you answered so quickly.
I have no idea what business you're talking about. But if you're afraid of the filth, then that must mean it's not legal. Maybe a scam [in English] of some kind, or some other kind of Internet fraud. I'd like to know what you really do, because I'm interested. Maybe you have a proposal to make? If your business is legal and brings in good money, I'd love to be your colleague Smile

Even if it's not legal, I'd still like to know about it, if that's not a problem. I am not connected to the filth at all, and I'm certainly not going to go and look for you in Berlin or some other country. So, should I understand that St4nl3y is just a friend? I'd like to visit him in his country in order to find out what kind of person he is. I'd like to meet him in person.

But I can't understand what he wants from me. I already have all of my things together and was ready to go to him, and he disappeared... Then I met you, and things got interesting. Maybe you know why he's acting this way??!

N4dy4, you interest me more and more. With every message from you I can't help thinking you're an interesting girl and I'd like to be friends with you, if possible
.
I hope you understand and that you will answer quickly.
Regards, N4t4l14.

Quote:

Hello N4t4l14,

I'm not going to divulge any secrets (at least until I know you better than I do now), but my business is very diverse, and the dosh is brilliant. If you can prove somehow that you're not the bill and won't divulge my secrets, I'll give you more details.

Just friends? Well, he's not my husband or something. We're just mates. There's nothing romantic about it, if that's what you mean. As for his behaviour, I have no explanation. But he's a very busy man.

Friendship is possible. A business partnership is as well.

N4dy4

Quote:

N4dy4, how can I prove to you that I'm not the bill or something? I don't understand. It's true we don't know each other well, and we did meet under bizarre circumstances. But I find you more and more interesting.
Please at least tell me what kind of work it is that you are so protective of.
I have lots of proposals as well. So we could have a partnership, and in the future we might even be able to become friends.
I don't know how things will go.
OK, tomorrow I'll set things up and we can talk about this, or would you prefer to communicate in writing, I have no idea. but I hope we can communicate in some way so that we can have common interests and business.
I'll await your answer and advice on how to prove to you that I'm legit Smile

Best wishes!
I wish you success.
N4t4l14

I keep "her" waiting over the weekend.

Quote:

N4t4l14,

I'm back. As for proof, there are a number of options, but we prefer to use a photo with a password. I'll give you a password that only we know. You give me a picture in which you're holding a sign with the password. This way, I can know that it's really you.

As soon as I receive the password photo, I'll tell you more about our thing.

N4dy4

At this point, I send an enticing little ASEM:

Quote:

P4ul13,

Our people at the docks just told me the latest shipment from your people just arrived. We'll use the normal payment arragnements. We wire you $700,000 tomorrow, you kick up the usual 15% to your boss in Napoli and 35% to our boss. Let mek now when the next shipment is ready.

It's always good to work with you Italy4shi.

N4dy4 R4dyshch3v4

Quote:

Hi N4dy4.
Thanks for your answer.
I understand, I understand that you need proof. But you must understand that it's not safe to prove something to somebody on the net.
And I don't see why I need to prove anything to you if you can offer a joint venture? You still don't know who's on the other end.
I'll think about your proposal, but I don't know what I'll do.
At least tell me, is it really illegal? Or what? Because I don't want to fall for it every time something like this happens with an online acquaintance.
That would be stupid.
So I don't know what to say.
If I knew exactly what I'd be doing, then maybe I could make a decision, but I don't even know who I'm sending my picture to.
I've never seen you before. We could just talk on the phone and resolve everything.
But if you're so worried about security, I don't know what to suggest to you.
OK, N4dy4, thanks for your proposal. I'll think about it!
Regards, N4t4l14.

Quote:

Without evidence, it would be very dangerous for me to specify the nature of the work. My organisation does in fact do some illegal work, organised crime, etc.

Would it be easier for you to decide if I said what kind of income you could expect from our joint venture?

Quote:

OK, tell me what kind of income I can expect working with you.
Of course, I am very interested in that!
And would would I have to do. Would it be possible for me not to know what you do, but just do something separately? Or is joint work necessary?

Quote:

Income, of course, depends on the type of work.

For 419 jobs, you'd keep 50% of the take from the correspondent. If, for example, you got 50 large, 25 large would go to our thing, 25 large to you (these amounts are quite realistic).

If you want to work as a "laundress", you'd get about 100 large a month. The exact amount depends on productivity. It's also safe work.

With regard to security, I should also note that WE PROTECT OUR OWN.

Quote:

N4dy4, but 419 is definitely illegal. I understand completely. I know there are lots of people who do that...and maybe you and St4nl3y also do that kind of work..
I understand everything perfectly, and could work with you, but I think it's really dangerous, first of all! Second of all, please be more specific. You said that being a laundress is safe, I want to know what I would be doing if I took on that work? What would I have to do?
I'm interested!
I'm willing to work with you, but only within the law!

Quote:

I wasn't born yesterday. Do you think I don't know what you're doing with St4nl3y?

I know damn well what's going on. Don't worry, I won't say a word to St4nl3y. I already got 20 large out of him myself.

So it's high time to stop with this bollocks about "staying within the law".

What I'm offering is no more illegal than what you're already doing. The income is just better.

Quote:

I'm listening. Tell me about your offer!

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 8:06 pm

Here's me waiting patiently at the airport for my new Russian love and I find out my best mate is a major criminal!

Can you trust no one these days?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 24 Oct 2007 Posts: 33

Quote:

First of all, you need to meet the security requirements (photo, questionnaire).

Once you've fulfilled those conditions, I'll give you a comprehensive offer with a description of the nature of our collaboration, etc.

OK?

Quote:

N4dya, I just don't understand what requirements you're talking about, if, as I understand, we're going to work together without knowing each other?
Then why do I have to meet conditions?
If I have a photo taken with some kind of code, I don't know where that photo might end up, where it will appear, so I'm still thinking about it.
I'm willing to work with you, but these conditions seem strange!
I'll give you my answer later...
N4talya.

Quote:

The security requirements are specifically because we don't know each other. Because of that, we have to ensure security and confidentiality.

The information received as part of the security check will only be used inside of the organisation. Disclosing that information would cause us more harm than it would you, because, in order to disclose them, we would also have to explain why we got them, i.e., that we are engaging in illegal activities.

Quote:

N4dyenka, my dear, you're getting ahead of yourself; how am I supposed to be sure that you have some kind of organisation and that you're not the filth or something? I'm supposed to guarantee everything for you so that you can trust me, and I'm supposed to work blind or something?
That's what I mean!!!!
As you say, "I wasn't born yesterday", so we need to come up with a mutual solution!

It just seems odd, I'm sure you understand!

Quote:

N4talya/T4tyana

You asked the question - you answer it. What would you need in order to be convinced? Just tell me. If your idea seems reasonable, I'll do it.

I certainly understand that mutual trust is indispensable.

But if all I've got is the filth, as you say, you won't lose a thing. You go back to your 419 job. All you've lost is time.

But if I tell you everything and you end up betrying us, we're totally screwed.

As I see it, I already know one secret of yours, and you already know one of mine. So we've already taken one step.

N4dya

Quote:

N4dezhda, I think I already told you that I don't do 419.
So let's just leave it. Don't judge others based on yourself!
Maybe I used to muck about with that once, but nothing more.
If you are drawing conclusions based on the St4nley situation, my friend and I just didn't have anything to do for New Year's, so we decided to go over the hill to relax, I really, SERIOUSLLY wanted to go to him and I hope to go just to relax with him.
Why not? If he's inviting me, I've got everything I need, except money, becuase of course I don't plan on paying them myself.
I just wanted to go with my friend to see him, on holiday, to relax, to put it clearly. Secondly, your Russian sometimes doesn't sound Russian [I never told her I was Russian - if it came to this, my plan was to say I'm second generation Russian-American]!! Explain how you're writing to me? Or did you just forget Russian or something?
So there shouldn't be any more talk of me doing illegal things! Because I don't do that anymore! [Of course, dear, I believe you]
That's why I decided to work with you, because you have very interesting offers and you are also telling me it's safe.
And if the bill did connect with you, N4dya, or the filth, as you put it, he would have long since done all the photos and everything in order to get in with you, certainly you understand taht?
It's also strange to read your messages, you're constantly convincing me that I'm guilty of something.
That's not true - why are you trying to accuse me of something from the start?
I'm not some fucking moron you can just accuse of things!
I told you, if there is a real, valid offer that benefits us both, I am willing to work with you, but don't go imposing conditions and blathering on about some membership.
If you really want to work and get together, I'm willing.
I already have something to do, I have constant income.
(7000 $ a month) that's enough for the moment...
There's a lot that I do right now, and it's all LEGAL!
All the documents have been observed and everything is there, I don't just go around fucking people over because I think that's stupid in our times!
As I said before, I also know a lot of people abroad that I talk with and work with.
I don't need online bollocks because I haven't got the time, and your legendary organisation somehow doesn't inspire trust.
So draw the conclusions N4dya!
We're already talking about getting screwed, so let me just say that to avoid anyone screwing anyone else, if we are both ust responsible for ourselves, we can maintain the anonymity we have! That would be better for you and me...
I hope you understand!

Quote:

Oh, come on, N4talya, T4tyana, or whatever you're really called. If you really want to work with me, you need to stop with the bollocks. You're not the only candidate, and I'm not going to waste time with people who want to deceive me.

THAT'S why you need to show you're for real!

Quote:

Then im sorry to have wasted your time.

Quote:

I'm happy that you've finally understood that we need to get down to business and not waste time with these fucking games, you stupid S4mara slag.

Fill out the questionnaire and send it back.

(To which I attached one of the lovely dummied-up DHS questionnaires)

Quote:

You didn't understand me!
I'm NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR SERBVICES AND YOUR ADVICE!
PLEASE DON'T WRITE ME ANYMORE!

Quote:

I don't give a fuck what you're interested in. What, don't you get it, you Sam4ra fraud star? This isn't a suggestion; it's an order.

Shut your fucking face and fill out the questionnaire. Or else.

I think this would certainly qualify as "off script":

Quote:

Fuck off, you slag, don't bother me with your St4nley shit!!!
Look, "N4dezhda R4dyshcheva", you're fucked in the head!
You're not doing very well. Calm down and get some rest, you stupid slag!
I don't need anything from you. Shove your crap work up your arse!!!
So send this crap to Czech girls [But I LIKE them!]. And leave me аlone, you nasty slag.
You've already got bad things coming to you, and you didn't even realise it. So fuck off with your Stanley shit and everyone else of yours.
The administrator told me that you have access to my mailbox or something [-- I never even suggested this; I don't know where she got the idea, but I like it!]. But I don't give a shit, if I don't go to him, I don't go. So I don't give a toss.
So just stop writing to me and bugger off, look for workers someplace else (fucking idiot)

I decided not to answer, and let her steam for a while (misspellings in Russian original).

Quote:

YOU PEACE OF SCHIT,,,,, FUCK OFF YOU SLAG BEFORE I GIVE YOU A GOING OVER!
Smile

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Quote:

GO LEARN TO SPELL.

I can make things very hard for you if you don't do as I say. You're not the first, you illiterate S4mara slag.

[/quote]

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