The talkative Vincent Arap Moi *Updated - Lad reading haiku*

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Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 4:10 pm

Vincent Arap Moi started out as just one victim of many in my massbaiting for funny audio clips. He turned out to be a very good pet, so I decided to keep him for a while.

I catch his address in one of my harvest accounts. I don't bother reading his first email - I never do anymore. Most likely just the usual crap. Instead he gets a dose of my scripted mass-response, inspired (and copied) from Shiver's original form.

SolitaryMan wrote:

Hello,

I have received your e-mail and I must say it sounds very interesting.

Let me start by telling you a bit about myself. My name is Hamlet Prince and I am CEO of Atlantis Industries Inc., a company manufacturing mechanical typewriters. We are based in Detroit, Michigan, USA, but have factories in five different countries. The company employs about 1,500 people and have an annual profit of $25,000,000.

Myself, I am 34 years old and single. Most of my time is dedicated to the company, so I have never had the time to start a family.

A project of this magnitude needs to be discussed thoroughly. It is important that we establish mutual TRUST and FRIENDSHIP. Please call me at +1-XXX-XXX-XXXX as soon as you get this e-mail. However, I must warn you that I get a lot of unsolicited phone calls, so I usually do not pick up unless I know who is calling. Therefore, I have worked out a system. When you get to my voicemail, read a special password phrase. That way I will know who is calling and I will answer myself. Please to not spread this password phrase to others, as I only give it out to people I can trust.

The password phrase is �THE RAIN IN SPAIN FALLS MAINLY ON THE PLAIN�. Read it out LOUD and CLEAR, at least TWO TIMES. I will not answer otherwise. Once again, the phone number is +1-XXX-XXX-XXXX.

Please do not take this as me being rude. It is a necessary security measure, as I get too many prank calls and other nonsense. You seem reliable and responsible, which is why I�m entrusting the password phrase to you.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Hamlet Prince,
CEO Atlantis Industries Inc.

The number (edited out, of course) goes to my K7-account.

Sure enough, he calls. Although, he seems to have problems remembering who he is.

Arap Moi's first call

Since I - surprisingly - doesn't answer, he mails me:

Arap Moi wrote:

Dear Hamlet Prince ,
Thank you for your response to my mail and I want you to know that I appeciate your concern to me and my family�s and let me asure you also that you have no risk in this business since I will be giving you all the documents for the claim of this money. Once again I say thank you and I want us to really build good relationship and trust cos that is the most important thing in every business and like you also stated in your mail.

Must of all I will like to know how much you want to be compensated with at the end of this business because all the money will be with you till we can then come down to your contry to meet with you and we will also want you to help us to get a house we can live after this money must have been claim by you also with a very good business we can invest part of this money into, After I read your mail, I told my mother about it and she was haapy and relief only she ask if we can trust on you cos the money is the life of the family and you must know that also.

I try calling you immediately I got your mail and try to use the password as you directed me but could not get through so I will want you to give me your mobile number so that I could call you immediately, You must also know that my family need this money to get back to life so let us know how much you want us to compensate you with if after you have clear this money from the security company and I will also want you to send me your full name and address and also a fax were I can fax you all this documents for the claims of this money. Once again I say thank you. I hope to hear from you as soon as you get my mail and also a number were I can get you directly. My regards.

Yours faithfully,

Vincent Arap Moi.

Could it be that I changed the password? Possibly.

SolitaryMan wrote:

Mr Arap Moi,

The new password is "I AM BEING BAITED". Repeat this at least FOUR TIMES when you get my voice mail. I will then pick up immediately.

Regards,
Hamlet Prince

The stupid git actually calls again:

Arap Moi's second call

Strangely enough, I don't pick up now either. Being a man of many words, he mails me again.

Arap Moi wrote:

Dear Hamlet Prince,

Thank you once a gain for your email response, I try again calling you as soon as I got your mail but still get only voice mail and no other response after I say the password even more than four time as you have directed me to do but no body pick up the phone to talk with me, so you can see why I told you your mobile number will be preferable and safer for us so we can get intocuh with you when ever we wish to and may be you were not there to pick the call when I called you. I just wanted to be sure I am dealing with a God fearing person since I told you this money is the life of my family.

Must of all I will like to know if you can travel out of your country to some were in europe which I will disclose to you and also send you all the documents for the claim of this money including the certificate of deposit and also you must know that this meant to be believe to be gold and daimond by the company and not money and only I am telling this now so please let me know and have the informations of yours I demanded for then I will disclose more about this money to you by sending you all prof documents.

It is very important for you to give me your mobile number cos this is too risky for the family if any other person should have informations about this, so please if you realy want to help my family you must give me a personal number of yours that only you have assess to, cos I do not want any body to listing to our conversations for the security and safety of this money.

I really want us to build a good partnership and business relationship and also to understand each other very well so that can build up the trust of release every informations and vital document of this money to you. You must also know that money over $70 million dollars is not a small money one should joke with, so that is why we should be very carefull and serious.

I am expecting to get your mobile number and give you a call immediately you forward it to my mail so we could talk better. I hope to hear from you as soon as you get this mail. once again Thank you.

Regards,

Vincent Arap Moi.

Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 4:26 pm

Now, the obvious reason why I didn't answer is of course that I gave him the wrong password.

SolitaryMan wrote:

Mr Arap Moi,

I am so sorry. It seems I gave you the wrong password. That's why I didn't answer the phone. Please forgive me. The correct password is �I FEEL PRETTY. OH, SO PRETTY. I FEEL PRETTY AND WITTY AND BRIGHT!�. Read this loud and clear and I will pick up the phone immediately.

Regards,
Hamlet Prince

No way I thought he would fall for this, but once again I am stunned by his cluelessness.

Arap Moi's third call

He is not so lengthy anymore and his English skills seem to slowly deteriorate.

Arap Moi wrote:

Dear Hamlet Prince,

Please I like to know if you are at the phone now so I can call you now o I am still at the mail so you can let me know so I can call you now and be very serious if you really want to help ok.

or if you ahe a yahoo account do let me know so we can chat up ok.

Thank you

I am most certainly ready to take his call. Just use the correct password.

SolitaryMan wrote:

Mr Arap Moi,

Yes, I am available to answer the phone, but since I get so many unsolicited calls and prank calls, it is necessary that you use the password phrase I gave you. I have only given it to you, so once I hear it I know it's you and I will answer.

Thanks,
Hamlet Prince

He is persistent, I'll give him that.

Arap Moi's fourth call

Still polite, still futile.

Arap Moi wrote:

Dear Hamlet Prince,

Thank you for your mail and I try calling again immediately I got your mail and still could not get conected to you so I try it will be best for you to give me a direct line without passward, when I called it ask for security code which i say the word and still no response, If I amy ask why dont you want to give me your mobile number which would have been good for our business.

Anyway I will be travelling to one of the affrica country by the weekend so that counication will be easy for both of us till the end of the business and so it will be easy for me to travel down to your country after you have cleard the money, so it is best you gave me a mobile number ok. I will give you the number of were ever I will be so that you can be calling me since I am unable to get you on the line and for now you can forward those informations I ask from you so we can proceed before I travel.

I will expect to hear from you as soon as you get this mail.

Thank you.

Vincent Arap Moi.

At this time I grow tired of Vincent and decides to dump him, by giving him yet another stupid password. This time, a phrase from one of my favourite poems (extra credit to the one who can identify it).

SolitaryMan wrote:

Mr Arap Moi,

I am terribly sorry, but it seems I gave you the wrong password. The correct password phrase is:

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

Regards,
Hamlet Prince

No call, but the guy just won't quit!

Arap Moi wrote:

Dear Hamlet Prince,

Thank you for your mail and I have to travell out of my country so that it will be easy for you to reach me on phone and so I can also call you, so here is the number you can reach me with till I leave this country back to my country. Tel: 234-XXXXXXXXXX. so I expect you to call me as soon as you get this mail since I have try calling you but no response so I am waiting for your call and do call today.

Thank you.

Vincent Arap Moi.

I try to press him for another call instead.

SolitaryMan wrote:

Mr Arap Moi,

Due to circumstances beyond my control I am unable to call you myself for the time being. It in necessary that you make the call. Please use the password phrase I deviced, or I will not know it is you and hence not answer.

Kind regards,
Hamlet Prince

But it's like talking to a wall.

Arap Moi wrote:

Dear Hamlet Prince,

I am still waiting to hear from you and you must consider that I have to leave my country so that comunicating with you will be easier for us because I do not want any thing that will delay you from not get this money from the security company and please let me know if you really want to help us.

I will expect you to call me or send me a mobile number were I can get you direct or a number without password then i will call you as soon as I get the number with delay and also let me know if you can travel out of your country to were this money is and get it clear from the company.

The number which you will get me again is Tel: 234-XXXXXXXXXX.

Thank you

Vincent Arap Moi.

The slapping commences.

SolitaryMan wrote:

Mr Arap Moi,

I am getting tired of your constant excuses and delays. As I have told you repeatedly I am unable to call you myself. This is due to circumstances I cannot control. For the same reasons it will be impossible for me to give you an alternative number.

Your childish refusals to agree to my very reasonable and necessary security precautions makes me wonder if you think this is some sort of game. I assure you it is not! Beware that I am expecting your immediate call with the latest password, or I will assume you are just playing games with me.

Hamlet Prince

And he just keeps going.

Arap Moi wrote:

Dear Hamlet Prince,

Thank you for your response and since you are asuring me that this money will be safe after you have cleard this money from the company then in that case can you forward to me your full name and address and also your fax numbers so that I can star contacting the company by monday to star expecting you and hope you will be able to travell out of your country to go and claim this fund whil I will fax you all the neccessary documents for you to claim the money.

And please can you give me the passward again and I will try to call you but note that you may need to call the company were this money is deposited and tell them when you are coming to cleard the goods ok. So send me the passward as soon as you get my mail and I will try to call you. One thing again when I call your number it always ask for security code and not passward ok so it will be best you give me security code to get through you ok.

Thank you and expecting to hear from you.

Vincent Arap Moi.

I switch tactics and tries a new password. This time I choose Lord Vader's award winning 419-haiku.

SolitaryMan wrote:

Mr Arap Moi,

I was somewhat confused by your latest email. Of course the money will be safe with me. Have you been questioning my integrity and honesty? If so, then that is deeply insulting.

Anyway, as I have stated on numerous occasions, we cannot go forwards until we have spoken over the phone. I don't understand why you are having such difficulties with calling me. Are you trying to hide something?

Call me immediately. Security code and password phrase are the same thing. Just read out the phrase below. It is a japanese haiku poem which I have chosen as password. Read it loud, clear and slowly. Once I hear it, I will pick up the phone. CALL IMMEDIATELY. I do not want to waste my time.

A lonlely widow;
modalities demurraged,
send by Western Union

Regards,
Hamlet Prince

He tries to sneak out of but claiming that he's tried to call. Which is complete b*llshit - I haven't received any messages from him for a while.

ArapMoi wrote:

Dear Hamlet Prince,

Please I beg you to call me or give me another phone number were I can call you cos I have been trying but could not get through so please do this if you really want to help me and see if I will not call you. I am worried because this money is the life of my family so that is why I have to travel out of my country to make sure comunication with you is stand by ok.

Please I beg you once again.

Thankl you

Vincent Arap Moi.

This is where I stand now. More to come?

Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2004 4:34 pm

I've struck gold with this one. He just won't give up - he will talk to me over the phone if it's the last thing he ever does!

Young Vincent gets a bit impatient.

Arap Moi wrote:

Dear Prince,

Please I am still waiting to hear from you.

Thank you

But I will not have someone talk to me like that.

SolitaryMan wrote:

Mr Arap Moi,

What part of my mail couldn't you understand? I told you I AM UNABLE TO CALL YOU. You have to make the call. I have given you the password phrase which to use. No one but you have this password. As soon as I hear it, I will pick up the phone.

Are you just playing games with me, or is this a serious transaction?

Hamlet Prince

Obviously he still thinks he has a shot at the money.

Arap Moi wrote:

Dear Hamlet Prince,

I am going to call you again today and I hope you will be there , Please I still need your assitance if you really want to help me and my family's cfrom our present condition and like I say before you will be well compensated at the end of this transaction.

All you need do is just to claim this money onbehalf of me and my family and no risk since I will be giveing you all the document relating to this fund.

Thank you.

Vincent Arap Moi.

True to his word, he makes the call.

Arap Moi's fifth call

But he didn't use the password. Of course I didn't answer!

SolitaryMan wrote:

Dear Mr Arap Moi,

I don't know how many more times I have to explain this to you. When you call me you MUST USE THE PASSWORD PHRASE. If you do not, I will not pick up the phone. This is necessary to screen solicitors and prank calls. In case you have forgotten, the password phrase is an old japanese poem:

"A lonlely widow;
modalities demurraged,
send by Western Union"

Read the poem LOUD and CLEAR, SLOWLY. Only when I hear this I will answer your call. Please, please please - call now. I'm waiting by the phone.

Regards,
Hamlet Prince

Like a good pet he promises to make the call.

Arap Moi wrote:

Dear Prince,

Thank you for your mail and I am calling you now and hope you are by the phone thank you and I should say the worl if the phone ask for security code or what or if it ask me to drop message please let me know.

Thank you.

Vincent Arap Moi.

And the world is treated to a 419 scammer reading a haiku poem by my fellow baiter Lord Vader, not once, not twice, but a total of six times!

Arap Moi's sixth call

Arap Moi's seventh call

He's not happy with me not answering, so he calls again.

Arap Moi's eighth call

Well, as you all heard he pronounced it window instead of widow, so obviously I didn't pick up the phone. There will soon be more slapping.

Still in progress.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 Apr 2004 Posts: 43

"Sorry, I was out of the office.

Keep trying."

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