Moving but painful Lad-English

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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 1:50 pm

As part of my "R0bert O@tes" project (see sig for link), I'm constantly coming up against a lad's underlying basic modality---the advance fee---and it stopping the whole show.

I got to that stage with one last night and sent the usual "I'm not paying even a penny before any work is done; no European/American lawyer would ever work like that!" response, and this morning I found I'd been sent this heart-warming story that I suspect is meant to persuade me that the recommended barrister ("Barrkays") can perform miracles and I should really pay her the advance fee.
I had to share it because it's so moving, both emotionally and when you consider the abuse that the English language goes through.

Quote:

I want to know how far you have gone with barrkays have you contacted her?
If you have than count your self as a lucky man consider it done that girl is too much in investigating issue I want to tell you my story about my friend pinky Glenn in 2005 my friend told her family that she is coming to my house and every member of her family knows me in my surprise her people called me asking me if my friend pinky has reach I told that I have not seen her were is she they now told me that she said that she is going to my house
I don�t know what to do I started looking for my friend to the extended her husband was accusing me that I know her way about but before God and man I did not know anything concerning her missing when I was crying somebody ask me to contact barrkays that with her I can get my friend back in life I don�t even know that the girl is from Nigeria when I send mail to her and I called her she now told me were she is I gave her all the information of my friend pinky were she from and she told me what is will cost me I pay her 20% of the money in my surprise my phone rang one morning and I picked it . it was barrkay tell me that she have find my friend pinky which I don�t believe I ask her can I talk to pinky my friend? She yes and I spoke with my friend before I balance barrkys her money that is why I ask you to contact barrkays she will do exactly what you want she is very nice and truthful and honest

How can I say no?

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 3:24 pm

Quote:

How can I say no?

Considering it's virtually impossible to figure out the plot of the storyline...saying yes may result in the Lad questioning your sincerity to this deal.... Laughing

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 3:41 pm

Quote:

Dear XXX XXXXXX,

I received your email message and do not quite understood you categorically, Who is the person that told you that the bank E-mail address which I gave you is fake or are you trying to play with my intelligent tell me.

If you are sure that you are quite serious with me you better still stop listening to stories because it will do you no good those that are telling you all this stories are the people I call enemies of progress, so eyes open and reason maturely and stop talking like a kid, Moreover I don�t know that all this while you did not trust me, why I am sounding like this is that I heard you commenting that is like I am trying to Scam what do you take me for kindly be inform that at my Age Status and Position in the society I cant start sending you mail at the first place without been sure of its legality so my dear is not a must that you will champion this business with me which I knew quite well that it will open unimaginable financial door to both of us at the end of it all, so please if you don�t consider yourself capable to assist me you better open up to me and stop wasting my precious time writing mail here and there so please I beg of you to disclose to me your finally state of mind regarding this project because the joke that the E-mail address of the bank I gave you is not real is an expensive joke.

Kindly be inform that I grew to know that mistake always occur this is why I said that two heads is better that one and it takes two to make ball rolling, meanwhile thereafter reading this mail you consider yourself to assist kindly fill and submit the application to the bank to enable them proceed for the claim , but if you did not consider yourself capable please not submit the application to avoid raising of an eye brow which is capable of frustrate all my effort so far, because I have suffer so much and had spent a lot of time effort and resources to project this transaction to this stage before contracting you for final execution therefore please try to reason with me.

Thanks for the understanding

Best Regard

Charles Bello

I just received this the other day, it sounds as if it was written by teh same person that sent yours.

Edit: Wow i just noticed that each paragraph is 1 sentence.

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 3:47 pm

Quote:

Thanks for the understanding

I don't think there could be a better punchline than that!

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