ANCHORMAN: the legend of Grodon Ezeh (near-death-by-google)

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Hello I'm New here! Joined: 15 Jul 2006 Posts: 2

Attn : Dear Friend

Good day to you my good friend,
How are you doing? Hope you have not forgotten me,
I am Dr. Hamza U. Ahmed from Nigeria who contacted
you some time ago to assist me secure the release of some
money accrued from over invoiced contract that was done
some years back.

Though you were not able to assist me conclude the transaction,
I'm happy to inform you about my success in getting those funds
transferred outside my country under the assistance and
co-operation of a new partner from Brazil.

Presently I'm shuttling between South Korea and Brazil for feasibility
study/investment projects with my own share of the total money.

Meanwhile, I didn't forget your past efforts and attempts to assist
me in transferring those funds, I made sure that you are not left
out of the benefit of the transaction hence I kept aside for you
the sum of $1,936,455.00 USD

( One Million Nine Hundred and Thirty Six Thousand Four Hundred and Fifty Five Dollar)

I and my new partners agreed to compensate you with that amount
for all your past efforts and attempt to assist me in this matter as wellas to allow you recoup some of your past expenditures in the course ofthe business. I appreciated all your efforts, calls, suggestions, advise as well as financial help at that time very much, so feel free and get in touch with my Secretary Mr. Gordon Ezeh and inform him on how to send this money to you.

At moment, I'm very busy here because of the investment projects which
me and my partner are having at hand, We are building an Ethanol plant
which is now an alternative to over dependant on fuel for auto mobiles.

We are already clearing over 600 acres of land both in Brazil and South Korea for planting of cassava and sugarcane which is the major source of raw malterials for ethanol as well as trying to exploit any other means.

Finally, I wish to remind you that I had left instruction to my secretary concerning you. So as soon as you contact him, he will send the money to you.

Below is the contact of my Secretary:
Name: Mr. Gordon Ezeh
Email: [email protected]: +234-803-806-9690
Efax: 1-267-543-8422

Do let me know as soon as you conclude this with him.
Thanks and God bless you.

Yours faithfully,

DR. HAMZA USTAS AHMED (GCON)

_____________________________________________________________

Hello gordon, thought Dr Hamza had forgotten about me! glad to hear everything's good at your end. I'll gladly take that money now. Pleased I could help.
Mr Carey Vorderman

"Mr. Gordon Arnold Ezeh" <[email protected]> wrote:
Mr Carey Vorderman

Sir,
I want to inform you that my boss Dr. Hamza U.Ahemd has instructed me on what to do as regards the transfer of the fund $1,936,455.00 USD to you immediately you made contact with me.As at the moment the funds is in the account of my boss and his account officer is duly informed about the release and transfer of the funds to you.

The fund will be released to you by certified international bank draft in your favour from the account of my boss which you will deposit in your bank account in your place.
To start with the process of the release of the fund in your favour you are to send the following to me.

1, Your contact address
2, Your contact telephone number
3, A Scanned copy of your International passport or driver�s license.
4, Your banking information�s including the bank name and address.

As soon as I have this detail from you the whole process of sending the funds to you will commence.

I will be waiting for your reply.

Best regards.

Mr. Gordon Ezeh

Thankyou for replying so promptly. The money shall go to a good cause, I assure you. I am a member of a charitable organisation "The Anchormen." As you are giving such a worthy donation, I feel you should know what your money is going towards:

We perform various good deeds around our local community, and have done since we were established in the 1970's.
Recently we set up an arts school in Kerbumley Village for underprivilaged children can go and learn to draw.
We also patrol local busses and other public transport to keep people safe.

We have been expanding the program to various countries in europe and africa. This is of course not cheap.

Each person that joins our outreach program gets a one-off payment of $20,000 and if someone starts a new outreach program, it is increased to $115,000. If you know of anyone willing to help us, we would love to hear from them.

I will get our details from my boss as soon as I can. He will need to authorise the payment, as it is such a large amount. This might be a few days as it is now the weekend. He does love his fishing! He was telling me this week about some hookers he'd been with recently.

My apologies for the length of this Email.

Very truly yours, Carey Vorderman

I presumed that you have contacted your boss to get the required information that I requested from you to commence work on the release of the money from the bank.
Try and get back to me as soon as possible after you have discussed with your boss ok.
Best regards.

Mr. Gordon Ezeh

I've had a word with my boss. Unfortunately due to tax laws in this country it would be impossible to recieve your gift as it is such a large sum of money coming from outside the organisation.

If however you were to join us, we could easily accept it, as then it is simply moving funds from one organisational area to another. You would of course be paid the $20,000 that a new member is given. Though I realise it would only be a token sum to someone who can afford to give away nearly $2,000,000, you might as well have it. It's only fair.

Please let me know how you feel about this.

Carey Vorderman

"Mr. Gordon Arnold Ezeh" <[email protected]> wrote:
Carey Vorderman
I will like to be a member of your organization as I am only a secretary to my boss Dr Hamza U, Ahmed who wanted to send the funds to your organization.
Please let me know what to do to be part of the organization and how I will receive the money ($20,000.00) from your group.
I have notified my boss that for now your organization will not be able to receive his gift as it is coming from outside your country and the money is so large. He told me that he will give the money to an organization in India to help the less privilege there to provide water to a community.
Please let me know what to do to be a member of your organization and how I will receive the $20,000.00 as a new member.
Let your boss know that I want to be a member of your organization.

Can you send me your telephone number so that I can talk with you.

I will be waiting

Mr. Gordon Ezeh

We will no longer get the donation? oh that's a shame, at least it is going to a charitable organisation though.

I am delighted that you would like to become part of our group. I will tell my boss, Mr Ron Burgundy to have his seceratary send over the forms for you. The process is simple, Fill out a few simple forms, Send us a pledge photo so we can add you to our books, then we'll see to it that you get your money.

Thankyou for your keen interest.

Carey Vorderman

Carey Vorderman
The funds belong to my boss and what ever he decides to do with his money is his choice I am only a common secretary doing his work as instructed.
My boss has given the funds to another organization in India for charity and I can not stop him from doing that ok.
I will be waiting for the membership form from you after you must have spoken with your boss Mr Ron Burgundy about me as regards my intention of joining your organization.

I will be expecting your mail.

Mr. Gordon Ezeh

Dear Mr Ezeh, the application forms will be sent by my associate, Miss Veronica Corningstone. I do not deal with the application process, though if you tell her I referred you, I get a bonus if you go for the "network anchor" position.
Good luck in your application, Carey Vorderman

Dear Mr Ezeh,
Please find attatched the appliction forms for your entry into our organisation.
The usual form is a publisher file, however some people have trouble with this so a simpler, .doc word document is attatched also.
you only need to return one. Preferably the publisher one.

My associate Carey Vorderman also told me that you may be interested in starting a new chapter of our organisation, for a payment of up to $145,000 (guaranteed minimum: $100,000)

For this, simply indicate YES on the application form next to "do you want to be a network anchor?"

Then simply recruit some friends (3 in addition to yourself is ideal, though we can manage with two in addition to yourself)
They don't even need to fill out a form, their $20,000 will be sent directly to you, and you can pass it on to them.

I really would recommend becoming a network anchor, in addition to the $100,000, you will also recieve our monthly newsletter!

I look forward to recieving your application,

Miss Veronica Corningstone

ANCHORMAN:
From the desk of Ron Burgundy

WELCOME! Thankyou for choosing to join our organisation, we treat every new Anchorman like a new friend, and we look forward to working with you on future projects. To show our gratitude we deliver a CASH SUM to every new person we recruit. To join us, please fill out this simple form. When it is received we will then move on to the next step of the process, an identity photo. Please be assured that this is only used to prove that you are a real person, as we have had people write computer programs in the past to apply many times, attempting to con us out of the application money.

In addition, if you sign up other people as well as yourself, you will be given special �Network Anchor� status, starting at $100,000 for yourself, and an additional $15,000 for each member you bring in, up to a total of $145,000!!

NAME:

ADDRESS:

GENDER:

AGE:

CURRENT JOB:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A NETWORK ANCHOR FOR A REWARD OF UP TO $145,000 (YES/NO):

WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU IN LIFE? (PLEASE DELETE/CROSS OUT THAT WHICH DOES NOT APPLY)
Many leather-bound books
An apartment that smells of rich mahogany
Jazz Flute

Thanks, and we look forward to working with you to make the world a brighter place!

Miss Veronica Corningstone

Please the attached application form (publisher file) could not be opened on my computer please can you send the attachment form by jepeg so that I can download it and fill it and return back as it is the preferred one but i was able to open the doc word document is it ok if i fill that and return?

I wait for your reply.

Best regards

Miss Veronica Corningstone

I just want to inform you that i was recomended by Carey Vorderman

Best regards.

Mr Gordon Ezeh

Gordon Ezeh

If you can open the word document, that's fine, just return that one. the only reason we prefer the publisher file is that the layout is a little easier on the eye. However the word document will be fine as it has all the same information. I'll tell Carey you mentioned him.

Have you given any thought to becoming a network anchor? You only need 2-3 other people to start with.

Thanks, Verinica

Veronica Corningstone

ATTACHED IS THE FILLED FORM I WILL SEND MY IDENTIFICATION LATER WHEN I KNOW THE WHOLE EXERCISE WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT CONCERNING THE ORGANIZATION.

I WILL BE WAITING FOR THE NEXT INSTRUCTION

BEST REGARDS

MR GORDON EZEH

Thankyou for your application. I'm delighted that you would like to involve your friends in the organisation.

Please be aware that we DO NOT need you to send identification such as driving license, passport, etc. We understand that these are highly sensetive documents and not the sort of thing you would like to have floating about on the internet.

We simply require a photo of you holding a card with your personal password on (which we will give you once the paperwork has gone through) This is because we have had instances in the past where someone has applied to our organisation more than once to try and get a double pay out, using fake photographs, or photographs of other people.
We mean no offence by this, but as usual, a bad minority have ruined things for the rest of us, and we can't take risks.
$20,000 ($100,000+ in your case, depending on wether you can recuit 2 or 3 friends) is a lot of money to risk giving someone. hence the password security measures.

We have a pamphlet describing our organisation, and the good works we do in the various communities around the world. Unfortunately this is also in publisher format. I will type it up tonight for you when I get home, to at least give you an overview of what we do.

I look forward to working with you,
Very truly yours,
Miss Veronica Corningstone.

I apologise for not mentioning this in my last email, how many people will be joining you initially?
you only need 2 or 3 extra people.
Tell them they don't have to fill out a form, I will give their $20,000 to you and you can distribute it to them. You have been very prompt in this matter and I can see you are trustworthy. No need to make any unnesseccary paperwork!

I can tell from your correspondence that I'm going to like you!

All they need to do is be given their passwords and have their photo taken with you (as their sponsor) and they can join.

I'll write more about our organisation tonight, I'll take the pamphlet home with me and email you with the parts I think are important.

Very truly yours
Miss Veronica Corningstone.

Veronica Corningstone
I WILL BE WAITING FOR MY PASSWORD AND THAT OF MY THREE FRIENDS AND EXTRCT OF THE PAMPHLET SO THAT I GO THROUGH IT.
MISS VERO HERE IS MY TELEPHONE NUMBER 234 -8034118203 IN CASE YOU WANT TO TALK FUTHER WITH ME OR YOU GIVE ME YOUR TEL NUMBER SO THAT I CAN CALL YOU.
MR GORDON EZEH
BEST REGARDS

Dear Mr Ezeh,
My apologies for the delay in getting you this, it took a lot longer than I thought to type out. but here it is, I hope you're still interested in joining us!
This is my personal email address, the servers at work went down about an hour ago, so any correspondance will have to be at this address.
The good news is, I should have your passwords by the end of the day. don't worry, it's nothing hard! normally we choose a sentence from out master text that we use to guide us, and have you hold placards to spell it out. When I joined it was with 2 friends, and we held out a banner saying "Help others whenever you can"

Lots of love Veronica Corningstone

Sorry I couldn�t send you the proper pamphlet, here�s a brief summary of the History of the Anchormen, and the work we do. I�ll also tell you what your role will be. I�ll start with the history first.

History
Many years ago a gentleman named Brian Fantana was despaired at the plight of people in his local town of Brick Tamland, so he got some friends together to see what they could do about it. They started by going to local schools and giving talks to children about how they could better themselves, and be of benefit to the community. Within 10 years the prosperity of the town was doubled, and the anchormen has grown from just a handful of people to almost 100. Mr Fantana, or �the bri-man� as he liked to be called was awarded a knighthood for his good work, and came to be known as Champ Kind for his kindness.

The attention this knighthood brought was incredible, Donations started pouring in, and 20 years after the formation of the group, there were 57 different groups world wide. Not only that, due to some clever financing, we have an �investment department� aside from the charitable work, and that, to this date has generated millions, which is how we are able to make these payments.

The work we do
The work we do varies from group to group. Each group is autonomous, so once we give them the $100,000 start up payment, it is up to them what they do with it. Some arrange free public transport, others build hospitals, the possibilities are endless! We like to give this free reign to people, we feel it helps free creativity, and diversifies the work we do.

Where you are involved
Once we get your registration papers (which you�ve already sent) and your Photo, you should receive your payment within 2 weeks, which in your case would be $145,000 (for bringing your friends on board) we�ll also send you separately, the 3 x $20,000 to give to your friends.
How this money is used is up to you, as long as it�s going to do good deeds, we don�t mind. Usually people are not sure what to do with it, so they send us a list of ideas and we make suggestions as to what they might want to do. Not that you have to, I�m sure you�ll do fine! But if you need help, we�re here.
I�ll email you later with your passwords and more information on the photos, the sooner we get them, the sooner you get your money to help your community.

Dear Mr Ezeh,

I hope you enjoyed the information I sent you.

-sorry for the delay, we have been very busy here.

I have been given your password phrase.
Please send the following as Large and clear photo attatchments of the following:
All four of you stood together holding the following signs.

SIXTY PERCENT

OF THE TIME

IT WORKS

EVERYTIME

so that left to right it reads "sixty percent of the time it works everytime." From Chapter 7 of our master text (a particular favourite of mine)

Then I need a photo of you each on your own, with your sign, so we can see the detail.

You get your payment about 1 week after the photos are emailed to me, so I hope you send them soon. My boss Mr Burgundy is very excited about this.

Yours very truly, Veronica Corningstone.

Veronica Corningstone

What is the name of this our organization and where is the head quaters located?

Mr. Gordon Ezeh

The name of the organisation is The Anchormen. We started in San Diego, but we now have branches all over the world, so there is no real headquarters as such.

Veronica Corningstone

Can you explain this to me you are acting fiction at my expense fine proof me wrong;

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)

Anchorman: Frank Masi
As the title character of Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Will Ferrell, wearing sideburns and a mustache and a series of terrifyingly ugly striped ties, does a variation on his specialty -- the completely unjustified egomaniac. It's the 1970s, and Ron Burgundy is the top-rated anchorman in San Diego. Each night, he looks out at the TV audience with tiny-eyed seriousness, as if his delivery of the local news were the bulwark of civilization. Yet his stentorian tones and myopic gleam of authority are just a lightly packaged version of his off-camera singles-bar swagger.
Ron, a talking stooge, will read whatever is placed in front of him, and he treats his own brain, too, as a kind of TelePrompTer. He'll spout any inane or lecherous thought that happens to scroll across it. At a party, he walks up to a beautiful blonde and tells her, with a chuckle of fake modesty, that he's ''kind of a big deal,'' and then he tries to pick her up with the line ''I wanna be on you.'' Ron is a homegrown Austin Powers. He's blind entitlement wrapped around a core of utter dimness.
He is also, for some reason, less than a laugh riot. Ferrell plays this walking piece of idiot-box fluff from the chauvinist '70s with his standard lack of shame. He lounges around in an open bathrobe, exposing a soft, squishy body covered in polka dots of curly chest hair, and later, when Ron learns that the babe at the party is Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate), an ambitious new reporter at his station who would like to shatter the glass ceiling of the anchorman fraternity, he drives her up to his favorite make-out spot and launches into a speech about the name ''San Diego'' that makes him sound certifiable. To those, like me, who count themselves as major Will Ferrell fans, everything about Ron would seem to make him a ripe addition to the comic's pantheon of deluded losers. Except that there's something a little too innocuous about Ron. As a character, he's actually quite derivative -- Ted Baxter with a touch of Wild and Crazy Guy -- and he's not forceful enough to hold down the center of a movie.
Ferrell cowrote ''Anchorman'' with Adam McKay, a former ''Saturday Night Live'' head writer who makes his directorial debut here. Their balsa-light satire of the moment when male preeminence in the media, and the workplace in general, was losing its grip (but didn't quite know it yet) feels like one more movie version of an old TV sketch. I chuckled at the members of Ron's clueless news team, like Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd), the hipster reporter with his odious Sex Panther cologne, or Brick Tamland (Steve Carell), the literal-minded weather dolt. Yet for a comedy set during the formative era of happy-talk news, Anchorman doesn't do enough to tweak the on-camera phoniness of dum-dum local journalism. The movie is funny when it's nasty, as when Ron and Veronica trade insults at the anchor desk. Most of the time, though, it's not nasty enough.

Dear Mr Ezeh
The film was made about our organisation, we started in the 1970's as I have told you, and each of us in the main office takes on the name of our predecessor. Ron Burgundy (my boss) wasn't born Ron Burgundy, His name on his driving license is Richard Fortus. (A bit like being called "the pope" in the catholic religion) My name wasn't Veronica when I was born either, it was Cecile. but the Secratary to the original Ron Burgundy was called Veronica Corningstone, so I have taken on her name. When I leave this Job, I will go back to being called Cecile and someone else will take on the name of Veronica. it's a sort of symbolic passing of the torch I suppose. I told you about the roots of our organisation before. Did I leave out that he left his job as a newsreader to start our charity? Sorry, it was late at night when I typed it.
We don't like to mention that film as we feel it portrays an inaccurate history of us. Quite frankly it's insulting.
You think a charity with such a remarkable history as ours, and a net worth of $500,000,000 on the market can't get by without attracting some unwanted media attention?
To be honest although I'm glad that you wanted to be sure you were getting in the right organisation, and you did some research on us, I am a little upset that the first thing that sprang to mind was that I was lying to you. You've really hurt my feelings, Gordon. I'll get Ron to ring you later in the week if I must. what is your number again? please include the country code.

Yours Faithfully,
Veronica Corningstone (or Cecile if you prefer)

Veronica Corningstone

I want to be a strong member of your organization but i must be wise in all i do to carry on the touch to benefit the poor.

My telephone number is 234- 8034118203 i will be waiting for our boss call for my explanation on this matter or you can call me your self.

I have made up my mind to work for the organization but things must be put right before another step is taken all because here in Africa we account for every thing we do in life to almighty God.

I will be waiting for you call or reply.

[STEP IN, Mr Ron Burgundy!!!]

I hope you're pleased with yourself. You really upset Veronica the other day, accusing her of lying. Trust is one of the cornerstones of the work we do. Let's not lose sight of the real reason we're all in this: to help others. Yes, there has been a film made about the roots of this organisation. No, we're not happy about it. It makes us seem farcical, and it is innacurate. That doesn't make the work WE do any less real, Mr Ezeh. There have been films made about Queen Victoria, does that mean she didn't exist?
If you have any questions to ask, I suggest you ask them. You may think it is unusual that we take on the names of our predecessors, but it works for us. We're not asking you to do the same. If I get chance I may ring you this week, but I'm a busy man so I can't promise anything. Remember, I'm not gaining from this, it is yourself and however you choose to use the money that is.
Yours faithfully, Ron Burgundy (R F)

Ron Burgundy
Sir, with all due respect to you on this matter I did not accuse Veronica that she was lying but I told her about my findings about the film concerning the organization.
I am going to be a very vital member of this organization when the time comes and that is the reason why I want to get the whole information about the group before any further steps is taken by me.
I will be delighted if you can call me on my phone 234-8034118203 or you can release your telephone number to me so that I can give you a call my self.

Sir my main interest is to work for this organization with the best of my ability and not just to get money from the group as some will do at the mention of money.

I am already doing a contrite study of the work I intend to carry with the funds you will release to me.

I will wait for your call or reply to my mail.

Thanks for your understanding.

Best regards

Mr. Gordon Ezeh

Dear gordon, my apologies for not ringing you yet, I'm afraid we've been swamped this week. Do you have any questions I can answer over the email?
Yours, Ron Burgundy

Ron Burgundy

As the president of this organization I want you to advance me $80 dollars from the payment your have for me as a new member as want to use it to pay for the release of the project study that was carried out by a consultant that I hired so that I can send the proposal study to you for verification and approval before you send me any further money.
I will not want to be left alone to use the group funds without any supervision by your executive arm.
You instruct your assistant to send the money by western union money transfer using this information bellow.

First name: Ikechukwu
Last name: Azubike
Address: Lagos � Nigeria
Text question: What for
Text Answer: project
Amount : $80 dollars only

I will be waiting for the payment details from you.

Best regards.

Mr. Gordon Ezeh

Good to hear from you again Gordon! I was worried that you'd forgotten about us!

If you do want our close help to use the group money, we can certainly help you with that. I understand it's a daunting task.

I'll see what I can do about the $80, though it isn't policy to send money to non-members. What I can do though is fast-track your application so that you can get the full fund as soon as we have your application photo. your form is already in the system so if you sent it to us on monday, I think you should have the money in your bank by wednesday. Is western union money transfer ok for you on this, or would you prefer it into a named account?

Thankyou.
Ron Burgundy.

Ron Burgundy

Sir,

Thanks for your reply use western union to send the $80 dollars using the details i stated on my last mail to you.

Mr Gordon Ezeh

I'm afraid it's not possible for us to do that unless you're a member. as I'm sure you understand, we have to be careful about giving money to non-members. Did Veronica tell you about why we need photo's now? very nasty business. Still he got what he deserved. Nearly bankrupted us. I'll get the money as soon as you're a member. Will you still be having your friends join in? Did veronica give you the correct password phrase?
Yours, Ron Burgundy

Ron Burgundy

I now know that the membership money your group is said to be given to your members is not going to be real after all. Just $80 dollars and you the president can not grant it so it means you do not give tips to people in supermarket if you meet them sorry sir.

I have it up to my neck and i am dissapointed that you of all person can not look the other way and reason with me so be it as i will tell my friends that they sould forget joining the group .

Have a nive day and greet Veronica for me tell her that i love her.

Best regards.

Mr Gordon Ezeh

Not quite a Newb Joined: 13 Mar 2007 Posts: 30

Excellent work, Mr. Burgundy, very creative. Jazz flute.. lol! Maybe you could approach him again and tell him you're involved with a new film company if he still has the desire for TV work. I have a logo you can use...

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=104797

Devil's Daughter Videos , sixth one down.

Enjoy!

Rev. Ben Dover
Director, Self-Pleasure Department
The Church of the Holy Excrement

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