And potential future wife #2

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Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 8:59 pm

Mireille's not quite as cute as Queen Albert/Edward/Irwin/Whoever, but hell.....she's rich and that goes a long way with me! Laughing

Dear Good Friend,

I am Mireille Koffi, 22 yrs old, french lady,from ivorycoast nationality. The only daughter of late Mr Joseph Koffi, a very wealth and famous cocoa merchant based in Abidjan the federal capital of Cote d'ivoire. Please dear heart, I inherited an amount of US$10,500,000.00 million american dollars from my late father before his sudden death, and i got the believe that you are going to help me out successfully.

Dear, i am humbly seeking for your urgent assistance in respect of transfering this my above mentioned fund into your designated bank account for an investment purposes such as in real estates managements and stock market investments.

Please dear, i am honourably soliciting for your kindand urgent assistance in the following ways :

1. Can I completely trust you?
2. Can you honestly help me as your new family?
3) To serve as the guardian of these fund and help me with investing,
since i am 22years old?
4) To provide a bank account where this money will be transfere into?

5)To make arrangement for me in your country to continue my educational career and to procure me a residential permit in your country.
Dear, honestly speaking, i am willing to offer you 15% commission of this my total fund as a mode of compensation, provided you urgent help out transfer this my funds into your nominated bank account oversees and also assist insponsoring me into your country as i want to live in your country for the rest of my life.
Thanks for your assistance, May God almighty bless you forever.

Best Regard
Mireille.

Dear Mireille,

I will gladly help you. Let me know what I can do for you.

One request though: this may sound a little unusual, but would you send me a picture of yourself? You sound really sweet, and I always feel more at ease if I know what the person I'm working with looks like.

Yours in Bifurcation,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DDBS,
Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent
http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/home

Dear Jones,
Good day in Abidjan and thanks a lot for your kind mail and assistance assurance, Like i have details you about the deposit and how i come to inherit this at this tender age, The said deposit was made by my father with my name as the next of kin because i am the only issue and daughter of myfamily and i lose my family early, infact it is painful to me and as am writing you now, my heart is fill with sorrows whenever i remember the death of my father, sorry for the latte reply please dont forgetto send me your phone number so that i will call you up.

The most painful one is that my uncle who is suppose to be my father alive turns to hunt for my life because of the deposit i inherited from my father, I ran away from my father's house to a guest house, my uncle has claim every property my father left. Please the reason why i contact you is because of the requirement of the bank that before they commence the transfer to any account of my choice, that they will like to hear from my partner, so i want you to indicate your interest if you are ready to talk to the bank on my behalf.

I will like you send to meyour photo and also let me know more about your country and the port of entrance like airport and how will i enter your country as soon as the deposit is been transfered.i am sending you my pic, my late father pic and the deposit certificate that my late father gave to me before his sudden death.

I will give you the bank contact in your next mail if you are ready to contact them on my behalf as that is the only thing that is delaying the transfer, please i want you to assure me that this transfer will be finalise within this week as i have suffered a lot here and hunger since the death of my father, I am hiding in a guesthouse here and i find it difficult to feed here and all my hope relies on the deposit,
so indicate your interest towards contacting the bank on my behalf. I will be expecting your urgent mail and please, i will so much appreciate your photo if you sendit to me i sent mine to you
Thanks and hope to hear from you urgent for the transfer.

Love and regard from mireille

dear lovely sir,

i will like to see your own pic too so that i will know whom i am dealing with get back to me so that i will give you the contact of the bank where the money was deposited for you to confirm the existance of the money
thanks for your understanding
from your mireille

http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/mireille

Wow...not bad at all, honey!

Dearest Mireile,

Forgive me if I am too bold in saying this, but after looking at your pictures, I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Perhaps when we meet, we can pursue an intimate relationship? I would be willing to leave my missionary work here in Antarctica if you would meet me in America, and consider joining me here at McMurdo for some serious snuggling, perhaps even marriage.

As far as you coming to America, there are many ports of entry. However, because you come from an area that the Department of Homeland Security has on their watch list, there may be some additional restrictions for you to come here. I will call them and check to see what is required. I think you'll like America. Our government is crazy, but the people are warm and friendly.

As you know, I am very ready to help you any way I can. I hope the bank will communicate with me through email, because I have no phone here, and only have email through satellites. But I'll do everything I can to help.

I am attaching my picture. Please, understand that first and foremost, I am a holy man, the high priest in service to the Divine Bifurcated Serpent. Because of the laws of my religion, as the high priest I have been required to wear symbols of my faith on my flesh, as you will see in the picture. Some people are very frightened by my appearance, but I hope you will not be.

By the way, the bank document you sent was too fuzzy to read. Could you maybe send a larger image of it in your next email? Also clearer pictures of you, and many more of them, would be very nice. I would like to hang them on the walls of my room.

Yours in Bifurcation,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DDBS,
Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent
http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/home

http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/reverendsiriusjones

Dear Sirius Jones,
Thank you very much for your response and for your decision to assist me in this hour of need. Most importantly, I want you to show your credibility promise that you will be honest and trustworthy to me during my business relationship with you. I believe I could trust you, i am ready to live and invest with you and do everyhing incommon with you that is my plan i am ready to live with you till the rest my life,please promise me now that you will never dissapoint me because i done like promise and fail i promise i will never abandon you hence you will help me out of this condition that i am staying now after the transfer we get marriad and live a good life ok prove it by contacting the bank director mr johnson okita i am coming from the bank now and i have told him about you i told him that you are my partner who want to help me recieve the money into your account in america.

Secondly, you have to keep this transaction confidential and top secret between you and me for my safety. so I would love to transfer this money with your name into your personal account for self-keeping.

I will like you to contact the bank Director immediately so that he will start the process of the transfer immediately so that this my money will be transfer into your account this week so that i will be coming to your country as soon as possible to start a new life in your country.

BELOW IS THE CONTACT OF THE BANK WHERE THE MONEY WAS DEPOSITED

01 bp 1298 Abidjan 01 Cote DIvoire
Av.Franchet D'esperey-Plateau
Bank Name: Coopec Bank Abidjan Coted'Ivoire
Name of the Director: Mr Johnson Okita (Director General)
Director's Email Address :[email protected]
Bank Email Address: [email protected]

To confirm what is required to transfer the money into your account, I will like you to contact and tell him about your'self, that you are my late father's close business and family friend that base in abroad that you are presently my guardian and that you want to assist mecome over to your country to further my education.ok i have told him this please do that now so that he will start the process of the transfger immediately into your account.

I believe that God made this choice for me. This money is legally acquired money by my late Father, Remember I have something in common my relationship with and also you will assist me invest the money in your country, most specially I will like to further my education in your country, I need you to assist me inquire a very good school
Thanks and may Almighty God bless and guide you.
Looking forward to hear from you.
Best Regards mireille

Cute, but stupid. Where's the documentation I want?

The next one she sent 3 copies of--one after another. To give me a sense of urgency perhaps?

Dear Sirius Jones,
Have you contact the bank director please tell me what is going on because i am suffering here i have not eating anythings since yesterday the gueshouse manager have stop giving me food from the guesthouse due to the money i am owing them i promise to pay them this money but when i went to the bank and the director told me that idont have full acess to the money untill it is transfert into an oversea account that iswhy i contact you my father depodsited it because he wanted to use it open a company for me overeae before his sudden death and i am not feeling well here i need to go to the hospital for proper treatment infact i am confuse now i dont know what to do please help me out with some food so that i will eat and have rest of mind, and another problemnow is the money i am owing the guesthouse manager he is disqturbing me since thjis week saying that i must pay him will arest me with police infact i am afriad because of my wicked uncle who is after my life he want to kill me.

please i will be very happy that you help me pout of this condition i promise you that you will never regret anything i am realy suffering here while i have a huge amount of money in the bank please think about my life and do somle thing to get me out of this before it is too late.i a mhaving problems here that iswhy i will like you to help me to complete this transfer so that my money will be transgfer into your account and you will have enogh money to swend to me for my visa and buy my tickect to join you in america i will be very happy to live and invest with you till the rest of my life please help me out with some money so that i will pay this man for him to live me alone.

i am a virgin and will not do anything with any man untill i get married if you promise that you will be honest and truthfully to me i am ready to get married with you please help me out of this condition so that i will come to your country to start a new life.

thanks for your understanding and promise
from mireille

Oooooo----a virgin......I've always liked virgins....... Laughing

Dearest Mireille,

It truly hurts me to my soul to read this email from you. The Serpent knows I do not want you to suffer and that I want us to have a life together.

But I am scared to go any further in this without the proof I must have to show this is real. You said you'd send me documents to show that this was real. But when they came, they couldn't be read at all, and now I'm scared you are lying to me.

Please show me I am wrong. Please please send me a readable document and I will gladly take your virginity as soon as we meet.

Yours in Bifurcation,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DDBS,
Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent
http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/home

Dear lovely future husband,
the documentswhich i sent to you is real may be it is from the scanning michine everything was good i will try to scan again from another computer ok
from mireille

Wink

More to come, apparently......

Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2007 10:55 pm

Dear lovely jones,
How are you i hope that all iswell with you i took the certificate to another place today to scan it clear to send to you so that you can see it clear have you contacted the bank i hope that you have contact them tell me what is going on so that i will know what is going on infact i am confuse and tired of everything now i am in danger here and my life is not safe i doint want to die young please if you know any way you can help me out now please do it before it is too late.
the attach is the deposite certificate as my late father

thanks for your understanding and concern
from mireille

http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/mireille%27sdeposit

Much better.....this image is HUGE

Dear lovely future husband jones,

infact as i am witing this mail to you my eyes are fill of tears infact i dont like my condition now, because i went to another place to scan the deposit slip to send toi you so that it will be clear the guesthouse manager sent one is his brother who came to the guesthouse to lead me to the place i will scan this he said that i will ran away infact i can not continue with this my life is notr safe and i trhink more about my late parents if i am sleeping infact i am not happy please i realy need your urgent help now so� that i will be free to do anything have you contacted the bank? please i am beging you with all the tears that comes out of my eyes to help me out with some money so that i will pay this man and eat since yesterday i eat only bread and butter i am very hungry that is why i am beging and i need to go tothe hospital to have a proper treatement but where is the money please help me out with 1000 dollars so that i will pay the guesthouse the money i am owing him i own him 500 dollars and i will go to the hospital and buy some food to sustain myself untill you finish helping me out.

you can send it through western union transfer it is fast and rapid way to send money when my late father was alive he use to send money to me anytime he travel out the country through western union transfer only what you needed is to go to any western union office and send it with my name ,city and country below is the only information you needed to send the money to me so that i will solve all this problems and have rest of mind.

RECIEVERS NAME.............MIREILLE KOFFI
RECIEVERS CITY...........ABIDJAN
RECIEVERS COUNTRY.....COTE D'IVOIRE

question sender name
answer sirius jones

i am seriously waiting for your urgent respond i am praying for you here

thanks and remain bless
from your future wife mireille jones.

cripes...how typical...they always only love me for my money....

Dearest Mireille,

It grieves me to read of the suffering you endure; you whose soul is as pure as the Antarctic snow that the penguin herds trample daily.

It grieves me more that, as I have told you, I am In Anarctica, at the South Pole in fact, and there are no Western Union offices within 2000 miles of here. Is there another way I could send you the money you need to survive?

Yours in Bifurcation,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DDBS,
Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent
http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/home

Think she'll figure out that penguin-trampled snow might not be too pure? After her next reply, I sort of doubt it....

My beloved Mirielle,

Wonderful news! The document is very clear now! I am sending it by email to my banker friend, who has already said he can tell already that it is very authentic. At last, I will be free to help you, my lovely one, in your time of need.

More wonderful news! The Department of Homeland Security wrote back and told me that, except for a basic security requirement, there is no travel restriction for you to come to America! isn't that amazing!! At last we'll be together, and someday, perhaps we can stand in the penguin laden snows of my mission, that remind me so much of your purity, and look out over our many herds and see our children guide them. As soon as I know what we must do to allow you to come to America, I will write.

Any ideas yet on how to send you money besides Western Union?

Yours in Bifurcation,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DDBS,
Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent
http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/home

Dear future husband jones,
Very happy to read your mail and the contents of it well i told the woman who is working in the guesthouse and she said that his brother is a lawyer that i can use his account to recieve the money the woman is a very honest and god fearing woman who sometime give me food to eat when i told her that my partner want to send money to me but the place is far from where there is western union office.

Below is the account information where you will send the money and it will reach me safty without any problem,

HERE IS THE ACCOUNT DETAILS

BANQUE POUR LE FINANCEMENT DE L'AGRICULTURE (BAF)
BP 103 POST ENTERPRISE ABIDJAN,
CEDEX 1, COTE D'IVOIRE

ACCOUNT NAME: ATTOBRAT MOULOUBRACLEMENTINE
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 11036630007
IBAN NUMBER: C116 1011 4010 0111 0366 3000 712
SWIFT CODE: BFACCIAB

Please try to transfer the money to this account so that i will solve my problem here have you contacted the bank director where the money was deposited so that the transfer will be on progress. as soon as you send the money try to send the payment slip to me so that i will withdraw the money and do the neededfull things thanks for your understanding and effort
from your lovely future wife mireille

OK...what just happened here? Did my beloved Mireille just give me the kind of account information that the mugu's try to get from us? Is it really the account of the brother of guest house lady....or is it something more sinister??

Could this be an account belonging to.....Mireille...my beloved....who is in fact a man???

Stay tuned for the next episode of "My Favorite Mugu"!

** ACCOUNT CLOSED ** Joined: 23 Jun 2007 Posts: 24

"I am a virgin ... please help me out of this condition"

Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 4:53 pm

After letting my beloved mugu-bride to be cool her heals a couple days....

Dear lovely jones,
How are you today i hope that all is well with you why the silent i have not hear fromyou since yesterday tellme what is going on i hope that everything is oki am seriously waiting for you sothat i will know my position.
thanks for your undersanding
from mireille

I still didn't write back--hell, I was on vacation!-- so my sexy scammer shifted back to her original plan.....

From the Desk of the Director
Mr Johnson Okita (Hon)
Coopec Bank Abidjan Headquarters
Cote d'Ivoire. West Africa
Ref.: ABCI/X125/ABJ07
Date: 27/07/2007

(picture of two hands shaking here--great letterhead!!)

Laughing

Attn; Reverend Sirius Jones

Regarding the transaction of Miss mireille koffi ,However the transaction of your partner Miss mireille koffi is always in progress.We are very much happy to announce this goodnews to you. Also there are some vital legal documents that you and Miss mireille koffi has to obtain through the help of alawyer and provided to us before her funds wire transfer will be effective into your bank account. On these legal documents, your name will be attached as the favour/guardance of her funds.she came to the bank to summit you email contact when i asked him about your contact details

Before it could be wire transfer into your bank account.Also these legal documents will protect you and your partner's interest,and as well both of our governments interest, once the funds is been transfered to your bank account,so as to proves that the fund is not a drug money, money earned from prostitutions, illegal money laundering or terrorist money, but a legitimate money/ an inherittance of Miss mireille koffi from her late father.I hope you are current about what is happening in the world now my good brother .Also it will enable Miss mireille koffi to gain full accessto this her inherited funds of her late father and also authorize immediate wire bank transfer to your nominated bank account with immediate effects and legitimately also ok.

As you know that no transfer will take place without proper legal documents which will make the transfer effective and autentic. What is very important is that you and your partner,will have to provide some legal documents for the changing out of her late father name to her name as the new bonafide beneficiary of her late father funds in our bank before the funds will further remitted to her choosing bank account oversea and without this important legal documents for the changing of ownership submitted to our bank for our banking work,we are sorry,our bank can not do anything to help her out for the wire transfer.

Now, before we proceed because this legal documents is very important if your partner really want to claim her late father,sfunds and as well give us instruction for the wire transfer.you and your partner have to provide the legal documents As soon as these needed documents is forwarded to the desk of the Director, The transfer will commence with immediate effect.

Then leave the rest for us to work it out,because before we can start the process of the further remittance of this funds to your partner choosing bank account,she must have to provide us a legal documents for the changing of ownership and again a legal documents for the back up transfer as you know very well that the amount involve to be transfer is very big amount of money and we need a legal documents to back up the transfer.the legal documents is as follow.

1) Affidevit of claim cetificate.
2) Certificate of legality
3)Change of ownership certificate.

The document the bank requested is for the back up of thetransfer.
The affiddevit of claim will be obtain from the ministry of justice,including the changing of ownership.The fund in the bank was deposited by your partner late father while she is the next of kin to the fund.So she will present her birth certificate with her late father death certificate which will proof that she Miss mireille koffi is the true daughter of late chief Mr Joseph koffi s and take an oath in court of justice.it is then that the court will change out her late fathers name and replace her name as the new bonafide beneficiary of her late father fund in our bank.And your name as the co-beneficiary of the fund.

After this she will then take the affiddevit of claim document to the ministry of finance where she be issued the certificate of leality.The certificate of legality document will stand as a proof that the fund is a legal fund, that it is not a drug fund,that this fund is not a terrorist fund and it is not a money laundry. The document will be obtain from the ministry of finance.

The legal documents is from federal government of Cote D'ivoire and the fund in the bank was deposited in a suspence account purposely meant for onward transfer into an oversea account, no one has the right to withdraw money from the account unless the fund get into an oversea choosen account, so in this case again our bank can not do anything unless the the documents is complet,Once the legal document is complet,I will make sure that every thing works out successfully. i will do all i can to expedite action,this is a promise.I will send you the copy of the legal documnets once it is obtain. In the next 72hrs this fund will be in your account,

As you have no legal Adviser and cannot be able to consult one here for procuring of the three legaldocuments, i am going to consult an attorney to secure it for you and note that it is a payable services but unlike going into the legal market here to sick for such services from practicing Lawyer.

Yours Sincerely.
Mr Johnson Okita (CBOC).

Form SXE2
Transfer Application Form
From the Desk of the Director
Mr Johnson Okita (Hon)
Coopec Bank Abidjan Headquarters
Cote d'Ivoire. West Africa
Ref.: ABCI/X125/ABJ07
Date: 26:07:2007

(letterhead again...)

Attn; Reverend Sirius Jones

Date ............................

Letter of Application

I,Mr, Mrs,
Dr.…..................................................................................Nationality
of…………………. Residing at
……………………………. wish to apply for the transfer of an
inherited sum at a tune of Usd $10,500,000.00 fromthe account N� Fixed/Suspence account belonging to Late Mr. joseph koffi I hereby declare that I am Partner to the next of kin to late Mr. joseph koffi and wish that his proceeds which he left behind in your bank be transferred into my account information as stated below without any deductions or addition.

The account details are as follows:

Bank name:
..................................................................................................
Bank address:
...............................................................................................
Account
N�....................................................................................................

I will be happy if this application is approved and funds transferred into my aforestated account and on no account should my account details be changed withoutwritten information and the total amount should and must be transferred in full to my bank
account.

My contacts information is stated here below:

Telephone number……………………….
Fax number.......................................
Occupation........................................
Age...............................................

please fill the form correctly to aviod mistake in transfering the fund into your bank account.
Thanks for your anticipated co-operation.

Yours faithfully,
Truly,Mr Johnson Okita

Thanks for your letter.

However, Mireille never mentioned your name to me. I will not proceed until I hear from her that you are not a scammer.

Yours in Bifurcation,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DDBS,
Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent
http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/home

my dear
why and why i have given you the contact of the bank and the director called me now and said that you dont know hjim if you are not serious to help me tell me so that i will know what to do my life is in danger
from mireille seriously waiting

Mireille,

The last I heard from you, you wanted me to send money directly to the bank account of a friend of yours. Remember? Then, just as I was setting out to go transfer the money (which is not an easy thing at the South Pole, especially when I have to find someone to mind the penguin herd while I'm gone), I got a message from someone I never heard of before telling me to do something different from what you said.

Can you see why I didn't trust him?

Which do you want me to do? Send money to your fiend's account or trust this new person that I know nothing about? Are you sure he's not trying to steal from you? How do you know he's not a criminal?

Please.....tell me the answer!! I'm so confused!!

Yours in Bifurcation,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DDBS,
Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent
http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/home

It keeps going and going and going........

Dear Sirius Jones,
Please the person that is contacting you where is him contacting you from if not mr johnson okita the bank director whom i have given your email contact to contact you the only person that is contacting you is him i went to the bank to give him your email and he told me that he contact and tell you what to do so that my money will be transfer into your account in america he told me about the legal documents we are going to obatin before the money will be transfer legall to your account he said that we are going to consult a lawyer who will help us to get the legal documents and i have consulted a lawyer who told me that he will go to the ministry of finanace and justice to know the cost of the documents, the lawyer promise me to come back tomorrow so that he will tell me the out come of his investigation the person contacting you is the person in charge in this transfer i have given hiscontact to you and he promise me that if we provide the three legal documents the bank need the new person who is mr johnson okita is for real if not him for get about anyother person that is contact you contact whom i gave you his contact.

coming to the money you promise to send to me there is no problem with the account i sent to you i know onwer very well there will be no problem i promise you that please send the money sothat i will eat well infact i am pasing through hunger here and you stop writing for me why ok send the money send the money i have nothing here and the manager is disturbing me a lot please send the money to the account i willget it safty there will be no problem.

seriously waiting for the payment slipas soonas you send the money

thanks from mireille

Oh.....you want to scam me twice!! Clever girl......

Dearest Mireille,

Thank you for writing back so quickly and letting me know what to do.

I will be setting out for Glynn Flaven Base shortly, as soon as I can lead my penguins over to a safe haven. Hopefully, no one will molest them while I am away, but you'd be surprised what the cold will lead a man to do.....

The trip to Glynn Flaven is about 20 miles, and the weather is bad here---so it may take me a full day to get there so I can send you the money. But do not fear for my safety; the weather should keep the frost wolves near the coast and the bandersnatches usually stay burrowed in during the blizzards.

Yours in Bifurcation,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DDBS,
Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent
http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/home

Dear Sirius Jones,

sorry for the late replyi went to meet the man who gave the account about the documents that the bank needed but he said that after his investigation the three documents will cost $2850 usd plus his consultation fee of $200 usd making $3,050 this is wht it will cost to get the legal documents the bank needed to complete the transfer of my money into your account and the please you can send everything at once so that the lawyer will help to get the three documents bank requested from us
thanks again and remain bless
from your love future wife mireille

Mireille,

I am leaving this morning for Glynn Flaven Base. The weather has turned extremely bad; snow is falling so hard I can barely see my feet as I walk. But, because I trust you with all my soul, I will make this dangerous trek to send you the money you want. It may be a couple days before I get to Glynn Flaven; please keep me in your prayers that I arrive safely.

Yours in Bifurcation,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DDBS,
Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent
http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/home

Dear Sirius Jones ,
i am seriously praying for youhere and i know that everything will workout and my inheritance will be transfer into your account and i willbe coming to start a new life with you i promise to respect you till the rest of my life i amready to get married to nyou immediately after the transfer i am praying for you and you are protected immedaitely you transfer the money dont forget to send me the payment slip so that i will meet with the lawyer to get the requested documents that the bank needed to complete the transfer thanks again and again

thanks for your effort and understanding
from mireille

Wow, that sounded so sincere I could just......nevermind.

(This is an automated response.)

I am currently away and may be absent for several days. I will reply to your message when I return.

May the Serpent keep you between His Heads to guide your path.

Yours in Bifurcation,

The Right Reverend Sirius Jones, DDBS,
Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent
http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/home

Will Sirius make it to Glynn Flaven safely? Will Mireille get her money? Will Sirius get Mireille's cherry?

Stay tuned for more "As the Penguins Waddle"!

Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 4:25 pm

Time to introduce a new element. It's been a week since anyone's heard from Reverend Jones, and the Church elders are getting quite concerned.

Ms. Koffi:

I am writing to you on behalf of the Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent regarding Reverend Sirius Jones.

I am the Reverend Rael, the High Colonic of the Church. It is my sad duty to inform you that Reverend Jones has been missing for about a week. I am currently at his mission in Anarctica trying to determine his whereabouts, and I have found your name on his computer (which I am using to email you). I am hoping you can give me some information so that we can locate him before he comes to harm.

Please reply soon; it is very unlike him to be absent from his mission and his herd for so long.

Yours in Bifurcation,

The Right Reverend Rael, High Colonic
Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent

Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 9:31 pm

Well, it seems pretty safe to say my beloved mugu Mireille has moved on and forgotten her betrothed. This is not to say, however, that she doesn't get a few parting shots from the Church. Twisted Evil

Ms. Koffi:

I wrote to you yesterday on behalf of Reverend Sirius Jones, who is missing in Anarctica. The prospects for his survival are not good.

It would appear that you and the Reverend were involved in a long-distance relationship, according to your emails to one another; the Church has no objection to this.

However, I do find it troubling that, when the man you say you wanted to marry is in jeopardy of losing his life and needs your help quickly, you do not respond. Why is this?

I pray that you are not simply the sort of low life human garbage that would prey upon others for personal gain. PLEASE CONTACT ME AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS EMAIL. Reverend Jones' life, if he is indeed still alive, may depend on your actions.

Sincerely,

His Holiness Reverend Rael, DDBS, DDT, DHEA
High Colonic
Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent

Ms. Koffi:

It is my sad duty to inform you that we have recovered the body of Reverend Sirius Jones.

I learned from his correspondence with you that he had, in fact, set out for Glynn Flaaven Base to send you money as he believed that you were to become his wife. For that reason, I have attached a final picture of him for your consideration.

Miss Koffi, you are the worst kind of BITCH to walk this earth. I MIGHT HAVE SAVED HIS LIFE HAD YOU SIMPLY RESPONDED TO MY EMAILS, BUT YOU COULDN'T DO EVEN THAT MUCH. YOU MURDERED A MAN OUT OF GREED--KILLED HIM WITH WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY A SCAM RUN BY A PIECE OF AIR-WASTING HUMAN GARBAGE.

As the High Colonic of the Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent, I PLACE A CURSE ON YOU: My servant serpents will follow you, only occasionally making their presence known, until the day that the two-headed mamba shall strike you dead.

Yours in Bifurcation,

His Holiness Reverend Rael
High Colonic
Church of the Divine Bifurcated Serpent

http://revs.jones.googlepages.com/siriuslyfrozen

Good-bye, my love. I promise to think of you and try not to laugh..... Laughing

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