My First Barrister

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Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 12:45 am

I replied to "The Barrister" William David from the Surlus Letters section with this little gem.

Barrister,

Your message finds me travelling on business, but still it intrigues me. Allow me to introduce myself to you, I am W. A. Dressner, III. Engr. Dressner was a relative of mine who was much beloved and I was named in his honor. I fully understand the tragic events that resulted in his loss of life, and am stunned to hear of this timely windfall.

Sir, I am in the banking industry here in my home state and what with falling interest rates and rising costs for gas and food, my bank is only making a few million a day. Why, if this situation persists I may have to stop slipping money into my lunchbag everytime I visit the vault.

Your offer to assist you in liberating these funds is an excellent idea, but how much do I get to assist you? I need to put some back in the bank before the auditors come in next month. With this in mind, might we forego the use of phones, as they may be monitored by the government, and with the attitude today towards terrorism, our conversations may be misinterpreted as meaning more than just two "honest" businessmen making a financial transaction.

Awaiting your reply,

W. A. Dressner, III
DressnerBank

He replies with this:

Quote:

Thanks for your response to my immense beneficiary proposal.Infact i am very greatful that my research for a possible bearer of the same surname have been successful in the person of your type that bears exactly the same initial and surname,am now happy that this fund will be duly recuparated without any problem at all cause it will be retrived as simple as anything.

For your assistance in other to have this fund liberated,your entittled to 45% of the total fund as my offer to you while the remaining 5% will be used to offset any expenses that will be involved in the process of liberating this fund from the the security finance company.I also agree with you that the issue for the use of phone should be foregone due to the possibilities of your government monitoring our conversations.

Without further delays since your full name tallies with my late client,the legal right have been fully assumed unto you as the rightful next of kin without any further investigation or interrogation than for us to forge ahead immediately.In that case,here is a drafted application that you should fill correct/properly and forward it to the security finance company for immediate processing for your onward climant without any hindrance or hesitation from the security finance company.

Lastly,here below is the application form,also her are the information your to use and fill the gaps provided in the area for deposit information:

Security Code N:CSS/TSI/1608/2/2002
Deposit Code N:0479/2/20002
Transaction Code N:8520/CSS/TSI/2/2002
Date of Deposit: 15TH FEBUARY 2002
Number of Item: 1 METALLIC BOX
Name of Deposit:ENGINEER.W.A.DRESSNER

Please as soon as you fill this application,you should send it immediately to the security finance comapny for immediate processing and do not forget to inform me once the application form is filled and send.
Thanks for your understanding,awaiting to hear from you as soon as possible.

regards,
Barrister William David.

CASARL SECURITY COMPANY SERVICES
TEL:002289129177:FAX :002282224344
EMAIL:[email protected]
[email protected]
LOME-TOGO.

APPLICATION FORM
removed standard form seeking info

I see a bank losing everything due to bad investments in tripe futures.

Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2004 3:47 pm

The usual barrister thing, from what I have read:

Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 13:06:18 +0200
Subject: Re:Details:An Urgent Reply
To: "Collins Robert" <[email protected]>

>after you have been certified competent enough to handle a huge
>amount of money as such.

i handle lots of money, everyday. i even once slept on a mattress stuffed
full of money, 'cos my john was that way inclined.

>If you know that you will be capable of helping us actualize
>this project, you should send to me immediately the details of
>your bank particulars

not until you prove to me you are who you say you are.
i have lots of other opportunities to make money, lots of money.
if you are not prepared to work with me, you can go somewhere else!

> Be rest assured that this is 100% risk free.

prove it!

>Barrister Collins Robert (SAN)

in order to prove your legal expertise tell me:

if i painted a picture on the side of my neighbors house (the side that
borders with no other house and is exposed to the street) who would, legally speaking, own the picture?

this question was part of an interview process at Oxford University (UK)
for candidates that wanted to START studying law.

prove yourself to me!

i have a prior business engagement this weekend, taking me away from the computers from friday, until perhaps monday. maybe one of the people i will be entertaining was the esteemed chap that passed my name on to you in the first place!

Jenny

and he replied:

[quote]
From: "Collins Robert" <[email protected]>
To: <[email protected]>
Subject: Reply to Jenny's???
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 2004 07:38:22 -0500

Attention:Ms Jenny

Thank you very much for your Interest in this business.

In accordance to your forwarded reply and Question,i explain below

Jenny's???
In order to prove your legal expertise tell me:

if i painted a picture on the side of my neighbors house (the side that
borders with no other house and is exposed to the street) who would,
legally speaking, own the picture?

this question was part of an interview process at Oxford University (UK)
for candidates that wanted to START studying law.

prove yourself to me!

Barrister Collins Robert (SAN)

???Answer
A picture on the wall facing outside the street without any obstruction,
such a picture in my own mind is mean't for the outside wall.

This is because,such a picture is evidently mean't for the view of the
passer's by.

Such a picture,is certainly cannot be said to be mean't for the view of the
occupant of the house? such a picture, could be attributed to advertiser's
picture.

This is because ,when advertiser's places picture of a product at such a
position as outside wall of a house ,facing the street ,such picture
becomes for the consumption of the general public i therfore hold that ,if
i paint on the side of my neighbour's house (the side that boarder's with
no other house and is exposed to the street)

Such painting would legally speaking be owned by the Public or the World at large.

_____________________________________________
Free email with personality! Over 200 domains!
http://www.MyOwnEmail.com
[/quote]

Any other legal questions I could ask? Maybe I should have him represent me when I get arrested...

Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2004 3:55 pm

I don't know if i get it right, but heard it somewhere:

On a plane flying from country A to B, (the airline is from country C), over country D, a citizen of country E kills a citizen of country F.

Which law has to be applied?