Freak out my spooked lad

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Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 4:57 am

Just had Satan give this guy a call. He's quite spooked and kept saying things like "blood of Jesus" and "are you a ghost", etc.

+229 93 864769

His phone kept breaking up and as a result he was hard to hear. I recorded it but due to the breakup, not worth posting. Still a fun guy to discuss issues with.

He does not like talk about souls and the prince of darkness.

Deep, scary voices seem to be effective.

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 5:25 am

You should post it!!! Just the little part you said made me LOL Laughing

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 5:44 am

Do you have his email? We can bombard him with emails from Satan and his disciples!

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 6:01 am

On the posting -- sorry, I deleted it. Quality standards not met and all. You know how it goes. It was really broken up. Too bad -- there was some comedy there. Even tried a couple of times and it was a bad connection each time.

On the email address, it just turns out that I do have an email address.

Having Satan (and his imps. Don't forget the imps.) following up should be interesting.

Something along the lines of "The Demon called you last night and wants your soul ....blah, blah, blah)"

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 6:39 am

This can't be the same guy I've had twig before...

Assuming it's the same guy as I know, he's got certain morality issues. He got all jittery when I mentioned drugs and gay sex - didn't even want to talk to me after that for some reason. Let's see if he bites on the old Church of Satanic Penguin preacher!

If he's not the same guy... just as good. Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 6:39 am

Sent:

Quote:

Yes, it is time. It is time for you to relinquish your soul to the Demon Master. The Master sees all, knows all, and hears all. The Master spoke to you on the phone, and heard your fear. Yes, the Demon Master loves your fear. The Master and his imps are waiting for you beyond the Gates of Hell. Give in to your fear, and let the Master and his Imps feed on it. You have no recourse. Your soul and your spirit belong to the Master. The Master's imps will chew on your toes, leaving you with bloody stumps that will please the Master. You do want to please the Master, don't you? YOU MUST PLEASE THE MASTER! Join us in our cesspool of evil, where you will help the Demon Master bring ever more souls into his kingdom of pain.

We await you.

THE DEMON MASTER

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 6:55 am

I will call him tomorrow. Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 8:09 am

Your lad just received an email from God, who is rather upset with his thieving ways and has therefore given his immortal soul to Satan.

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 8:11 am

Beelzebub just called him Shocked

I don't think he was pleased Laughing

but we had a chat - talked about his soul

He seemed upset - I think it was when I told him I'd steal his soul when he slept - touchy and very easy to wind up

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 8:20 am

GomerPyle wrote:

I think it was when I told him I'd steal his soul when he slept

No need for stealing it, his soul is now Satan's property (according to the email I sent him). Feel free to tell him that God has seen fit to turn his soul over to you.

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 8:27 am

GomerPyle wrote:

Beelzebub just called him

No I didn't... I'd like to though.

I wish people would stop taking my name in vain... Laughing

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 9:21 am

I think he was quite keen actually Very Happy

http://www.mediamax.com/pyle_gomer/Hosted/Beelzebub1.mp3

I'll give him a while to think it over and then get back to him

I'm feeling a little bored Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 9:23 am

"I command you to bless me!!" Laughing

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 9:33 am

I just realized I had called this lad earlier.. I didn't portray a demon, but I still provoked him enough to tell me he was soaked in the blood of Jesus by telling him bad jokes.. and something about holy ghost fire.... turns into a religious debate.. then, suddenly he's my dad.. Shocked

I apologise in advance for offending anybody. Embarassed

http://www.3eyehost.com/audio/419weasel_calls_religious_lad.mp3

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 9:42 am

It seems like our mugu has been harassed by the Cult of Cthulu. One of the worshippers sent him this mail:

Quote:

Fellow mortal,

Heed the masters voice. He spoke to you. Multiple times. This is a great honour. You will join us.
We are stong, but live submerged and secluded. Soon, HIS day will come, and we will rise. We will be the new "us".
You are offered the choice to join the winning side. Do so.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

Arthur

Luckily, a guy named Ch@rles D3xter W@rd is going to explain him why he is being stalked, and what he has to do to get rid of the infamous cult.

This will involve performing strange rituals, travelling to undesireable locations and lots of trips to the WU office, which sadly has been infiltrated as well.

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 1:35 pm

jgalt wrote:

It seems your mugu has already contacted me (about some magic cheques), but I haven't had time to respond to him...well that's certainly about to change now isn't it Twisted Evil

edit to add:

I sent him this in response to how to get my check

Quote:

Mr. M4k0lu,

The Coven says that our Master has made contact with you. Do not resist, resistance is futile. Satan will contact you again soon, your soul rightfully belongs to him, surrender to your Master and you will know riches beyond your wildest imagination. Rebuke him and you will suffer. We will come in the night as ghosts of the dead to feast on your flesh and rip at your organs and gorge on your soul. The Master, our annointed Satan will contact you again, your soul belongs to him, you must realize that the blood of Jesus will not help you now, you belong to the Coven now. Now cross your eyes and chant with me Askdun ehsjk djfhapwi asdjfh ashjdkfls fdjffkdlgnm djspaaaa dfjklkdi ekld, fksl s! Odfjkal alsid dlspo! Dominus Maximus Satanus!

I think I will bait him as my charachter too & act like Satan must be taking control of my computer Laughing

The edit button is your friend. TS

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 2:11 pm

sent this to the lad"I Larson Whipsnade,Demon Hunter has pursued the filthy spawn of hell ,Asmodeus, to your doorstep. I have hunted him for nearly 10 years and your soul came to me in my dreams the other night and revealed the demons location. do not make any sudden moves ,do pray as much as you can and always sleep with your shoes on in case you wake up and he is there. I am preparing potions and amulets to send you and will try to trap him. Kepp praying and for God's sake never take off your shoes. May God protect you

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 2:17 pm

HAHAHA
Man that phone call was so funny Laughing

I just love this stuff...

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 2:36 pm

^^ That phone call was funny as hell Laughing

I wish GP would have shouted SILENCE!!! at all his blood of Christ ramblings Laughing

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 3:22 pm

Lad: "I am soaked in the blood of Jesus Christ"
The Amazing 419Weasel: "Why, did you kill him?"

Fantastic!!! Laughing

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 3:33 pm

post your lads details in my guestbook and I'll email them for you.

linky

Beware what detqails you put in as I may refer them to the site so they see their names in BLOOD

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 3:34 pm

I decided Satan needed to call him this morning... His wife(?) answered the phone.. They were not happy to hear from Satan and church broke out.

http://www.3eyehost.com/audio/religious_lad_and_ladette_pray.mp3

I figured they had had enough of Satan, so I called as a victim.. I don't think he'll be getting any victims like this.. Twisted Evil

http://www.3eyehost.com/audio/paranoid_lad_more_paranoid.mp3

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 4:26 pm

I found a devil soundboard and we had a nice 20 minute chat. Is he easy to wind up or what ?

I must check and see how it sounds. I have never done a soundboard call before. Two things - he appeared to agree to sell me his soul for $3,500 and he kept calling me a ghost.

If its come out it should be pretty funny.

Ohhh and I think he's getting a bit tired of all these calls - so keep them coming Laughing

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 4:53 pm

the Lad belongs to me now, I sent him an email-----"I have went to our Church Elders and they have offered you their help. We have begun enmass to pray for your soul and soon the Demon will be driven away-You must contact me-you are the Chosen One by God to establish our new church-Church of the Subgenius-with this comes great responsibility and we will direct large cash donations to help you to spread the word of Reverend Bob Dobbs -all Hail our new Church Leader-God Bless"-----stay away from him you heathens -Death to the Heathen Twats
Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 5:00 pm

Some one needs to call him and WARN HIM that he needs to perform an exorcism to protect him from the powers of darkness.... (feel free to make up whatever exorcism you want)

Bruin