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Dionysius
Elite Baiter
Joined: 24 Mar 2004
Posts: 1639
Location: 61 Cockle St, Llareggub
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Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:10 am |
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eamonn
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 14 May 2005
Posts: 621
Location: Standing on the edge, looking down
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| Posted:
Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:35 am |
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I liked the one that went
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| If someone is choking on an ice cube, pour boiling water down thier throat |
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_________________
"stop insulting me,am a God fearing christain,I don't like it"
 "we wanted to defeat the devil ,which we have done ,you are now the problem"
 Lagos to Cotonou and Lagos to Kumasi  x19
get your baiting forms here |
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Spudz
Elite Baiter
Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 1173
Location: --4--
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Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:41 am |
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| FOOTBALLERS, Remember there is plenty of time for drinking and fighting after your professional career has ended |
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| A WEETABIX on a stick makes a great back scrubber for the first couple of seconds of your bath |
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| IF DRIVING your car quickly over speed bumps causes your exhaust to come loose, try reversing over them. it should tighten everthing up |
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| AIR GUITAR players, Become Air-Ukelele players by shortening the distance between your hands. For that added George Formby feeling, substitute head moshing with a cheeky smile and the occasional wink. |
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Spudz
Elite Baiter
Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 1173
Location: --4--
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| Posted:
Mon Jan 08, 2007 5:32 am |
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_________________
Javed Main:I received your e-mail message but cannot read very well due to the injection I took last night/Please for Gods sake i would'nt like you to address my bank as feck/You are a priest and you are bold enough to tell me that you took 3 bottles of the finest whiskey/Please i am not ready to take more of your insult.
NIGERIA HE GOAT
IF YOU EVER SEND THIS TYPE OF THINGS TO MY EMAIL;; I WILL SHOW MY SELF TO YOU BASTAD NIGERIA HE GOAT....F*CK OFF AND DIE OF UNGER
YOU ARE SUCH A NONENTITY, I NEVER KNEW PEOPLE LIKE YOU STILL IN EXISTENCE. WHAT AN INGLORIOUS BASTARD ARE YOU?
 x 10-2x33/8 you do the hokey cokey and you turn around and that's what it's all about |
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Gnasher
Baiting Guru
Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 2849
Location: Centre Stage in the Theatre of Cruelty
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Mon Jan 08, 2007 5:46 am |
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I've got an old Viz Top Tips book with hundreds of useful hints. If you ever visit my bathroom you will be entertained for hours reading these hilarious but handy words of wisdom. |
_________________
x21
"you have to pay because he need to submit this form to the Federal Ministry Of Fancies" Barrister John/Mike/Richard Okeke
"they are in deed the swinders rotating about in the net and searching for whom they will stylishly defraud your belongings" A. Moron
"Please pray harder for God to guide and protect us during our travelling because flight airplane i observe is a very big risky" Abdul Karibu
"WE DOESN'T LIKE HOW DISOBIDIENT YOU ARE!" Coco Law Chambers
"BE INFORMED THAT YOU WILL INCUR DUMMERAGE AFTER 9 DAYS FROM TODAY" Burkina Faso Air Secure Air Service.\ |
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Gaz
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 17 May 2005
Posts: 661
Location: Toronto, ON
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Mon Jan 08, 2007 9:54 am |
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| MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs. |
I'll need to remember that one  |
_________________
YOU SENT NO PAYMENT YOU IDIOT AND MURDDERER!!!!!! - Kenneth Duke
"Also believe in the Nectarines and hail them as my eternal forefathers and universal leaders"- Sir Frederick MacGregor
"THIS NONSENSE ACT OF YOURS HAS CAUSED ME LOOSING UP TO $350 USD ALL TOGETHER TO GET TO KASTINA SINCE ON MONDAY!!"- Barrister Usman Bello
"WHAT HELL ARE YOU ? YOU ARE A MAD MAN, YOU NEED TO BE CURED BY YOUR OCCULTIC MEMBERS, I CAN SEE THAT THEY HAVE TAKEN YOUR BRAIN" - Barrister Harry Brown
"YOU ARE GOING STUPID , ARE YOU OUT OF YOU MIND ? YOU FOOLISH WHITE MONKEY AND YELLOW PIG."- Barrister Isa Usman
www.mustdestroy419.talkspot.com
- 600 Miles from Lagos to Katsina
x12 |
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Spudz
Elite Baiter
Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 1173
Location: --4--
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Mon Jan 08, 2007 10:37 am |
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| YOUNG MOTHERS, Calm hysterical children in supermarkets by gripping them firmly by the hand, yanking their arm and slapping the backs of their legs |
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MIX Tea and coffee together to make toffee |
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| MCDONALD`S Make your carrier bags green so they blend in with the countryside after they`ve been thrown out of car windows! |
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_________________
Javed Main:I received your e-mail message but cannot read very well due to the injection I took last night/Please for Gods sake i would'nt like you to address my bank as feck/You are a priest and you are bold enough to tell me that you took 3 bottles of the finest whiskey/Please i am not ready to take more of your insult.
NIGERIA HE GOAT
IF YOU EVER SEND THIS TYPE OF THINGS TO MY EMAIL;; I WILL SHOW MY SELF TO YOU BASTAD NIGERIA HE GOAT....F*CK OFF AND DIE OF UNGER
YOU ARE SUCH A NONENTITY, I NEVER KNEW PEOPLE LIKE YOU STILL IN EXISTENCE. WHAT AN INGLORIOUS BASTARD ARE YOU?
x 10-2x33/8 you do the hokey cokey and you turn around and that's what it's all about |
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Roycropper
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7992
Location: Luxury Coffin
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Mon Jan 08, 2007 1:15 pm |
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| Pensioners - When driving, try putting your right foot closer to the floor. This will make your car go faster. |
I once sent them a tip about drinking more to recycle more glass and aluminium, but they didnt print that, any more than my enquiry to Professor F*ck. |
_________________
the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
 x4    6Yrs  x6  |
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Spudz
Elite Baiter
Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 1173
Location: --4--
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Mon Jan 08, 2007 1:20 pm |
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i just can`t get enough of this stuff, toilet humour rules!!!
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_________________
Javed Main:I received your e-mail message but cannot read very well due to the injection I took last night/Please for Gods sake i would'nt like you to address my bank as feck/You are a priest and you are bold enough to tell me that you took 3 bottles of the finest whiskey/Please i am not ready to take more of your insult.
NIGERIA HE GOAT
IF YOU EVER SEND THIS TYPE OF THINGS TO MY EMAIL;; I WILL SHOW MY SELF TO YOU BASTAD NIGERIA HE GOAT....F*CK OFF AND DIE OF UNGER
YOU ARE SUCH A NONENTITY, I NEVER KNEW PEOPLE LIKE YOU STILL IN EXISTENCE. WHAT AN INGLORIOUS BASTARD ARE YOU?
x 10-2x33/8 you do the hokey cokey and you turn around and that's what it's all about |
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kleindoofy
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 6248
Location: Europe
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Mon Jan 08, 2007 1:26 pm |
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| COMMUTERS. Give away the sad fact that your life consists of nothing but grinding routine by standing in the exact spot on the platform where the train doors will be when the service arrives. |
I did exactly that when I was studying in Munich. 45-70 minute tube commute each way, every day with about 4 changes.
Ahh, the memories. |
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Spudz
Elite Baiter
Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 1173
Location: --4--
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Mon Jan 08, 2007 1:55 pm |
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| GENTLEMEN, Speed up your love making by playing Benny Hills "Yackety Sax" in the bedroom |
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| DON`T buy your sister-in-law a thong for her birthday then expect your wife to be pleased, particularly if you comment on how nice her arse looks in it |
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| BREAD knives can also be used to cut cheese |
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| PROSTITUTES, if selling your body for sex makes you feel cheap, then simply raise your prices |
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| SINGLE PEOPLE. Pretend you`re having sex by parking your car in a secluded country lane and steam up your windows using a "travel Kettle" plugged into the cigarette lighter |
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_________________
Javed Main:I received your e-mail message but cannot read very well due to the injection I took last night/Please for Gods sake i would'nt like you to address my bank as feck/You are a priest and you are bold enough to tell me that you took 3 bottles of the finest whiskey/Please i am not ready to take more of your insult.
NIGERIA HE GOAT
IF YOU EVER SEND THIS TYPE OF THINGS TO MY EMAIL;; I WILL SHOW MY SELF TO YOU BASTAD NIGERIA HE GOAT....F*CK OFF AND DIE OF UNGER
YOU ARE SUCH A NONENTITY, I NEVER KNEW PEOPLE LIKE YOU STILL IN EXISTENCE. WHAT AN INGLORIOUS BASTARD ARE YOU?
x 10-2x33/8 you do the hokey cokey and you turn around and that's what it's all about |
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thud419
Baiting Guru
Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 3193
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Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:10 pm |
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DIETERS. Buy only Russian Alphabetti Spaghetti as there are only 22 letters in the Cyrillic alphabet. Just watch the pounds fall off.
-- Sergei Atkinsov |
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BASEBALL cap manufacturers. Save the wearer the bother of turning your caps round by putting the peak on the other side.
-- John Davies, Carlisle |
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COMMUTERS. When you leave your house, sprint the first 200 yards and then revert back to your regular walking speed. This will save you from having to do the run of shame for the bus nearer the stop and look like a fool when you miss it.
-- Micky the Lips |
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To make a pot of supermarket coleslaw go further, simply grate a carrot, some cabbage and an onion into the tub, then add some mayonnaise.
-- SA, Derby |
Some of them tell a story all in themselves...
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TEENAGERS. Make sure your dad doesn't find out you've been watching his porn films by not whistling the theme tune to Emmanuelle at the dinner table.
-- Richard Bowen |
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_________________
Click here to feel warm and cozy.
I did not f**k your wife in any way -- Nike Akanbi
I don't know what else to do or do I continue filling and filling forms. -- Barr. Koloti
you has been dribbling me up and down but I will show some thing you have never seen before, I think you breath air wait and see. -- Barr. Cole
 x14
 x 0.25 won from Reaper in a sucker's bet
  x8 x several |
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Spudz
Elite Baiter
Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 1173
Location: --4--
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| Posted:
Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:49 pm |
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_________________
Javed Main:I received your e-mail message but cannot read very well due to the injection I took last night/Please for Gods sake i would'nt like you to address my bank as feck/You are a priest and you are bold enough to tell me that you took 3 bottles of the finest whiskey/Please i am not ready to take more of your insult.
NIGERIA HE GOAT
IF YOU EVER SEND THIS TYPE OF THINGS TO MY EMAIL;; I WILL SHOW MY SELF TO YOU BASTAD NIGERIA HE GOAT....F*CK OFF AND DIE OF UNGER
YOU ARE SUCH A NONENTITY, I NEVER KNEW PEOPLE LIKE YOU STILL IN EXISTENCE. WHAT AN INGLORIOUS BASTARD ARE YOU?
x 10-2x33/8 you do the hokey cokey and you turn around and that's what it's all about |
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Spudz
Elite Baiter
Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 1173
Location: --4--
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Sat Jan 13, 2007 12:04 am |
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_________________
Javed Main:I received your e-mail message but cannot read very well due to the injection I took last night/Please for Gods sake i would'nt like you to address my bank as feck/You are a priest and you are bold enough to tell me that you took 3 bottles of the finest whiskey/Please i am not ready to take more of your insult.
NIGERIA HE GOAT
IF YOU EVER SEND THIS TYPE OF THINGS TO MY EMAIL;; I WILL SHOW MY SELF TO YOU BASTAD NIGERIA HE GOAT....F*CK OFF AND DIE OF UNGER
YOU ARE SUCH A NONENTITY, I NEVER KNEW PEOPLE LIKE YOU STILL IN EXISTENCE. WHAT AN INGLORIOUS BASTARD ARE YOU?
x 10-2x33/8 you do the hokey cokey and you turn around and that's what it's all about |
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