tHOU DOST PROTEST TOO MUCH...

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Posted: Wed May 19, 2004 4:26 am

What an unfortunate name this mugu picked for himself

>From: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: confidential
>Date: Fri, 14 May 2004 22:52:31 +0200
>
>
>Dr. Dikko Bello,
>Branch Manager
>Stallion Bank (NIG) Ltd.
>Idumota Branch
>Lagos Nigeria.
>
>
>I am Dr. Dikko Bello,The Branch Manager of Stallion Bank Nigeria Limited,Idumota
>Branch,Lagos Nigeria. I have an urgent and very confidential business
>proposition for you. On December, 1997, an American Oil consultant/contractor
>with the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, Richard Burson, 77, Venice
>Isles, Florida
>made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued
>at US$11,500,000.00 (Eleven Million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars)
>in my branch. Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to his forwarding
>address but got no .www.cnn.com/US/9911/02/egyptair990.list/index.html
>
>
>After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his contract
>employers, the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation that Mr. Richard
>burson died from an Egytpian air plane crash, www.cnn.com/US/9911/02/egyptair990.list/index.html
>
>PLANE CRASH OF 31 OCTOBER 1999[WITH EGYPTIAN AIRLINE 1990] WITH OTHER PASSENGERS
>ABOARD AS YOU CAN COMFIRM IT YOURSELF THROUGH THIS WEBSITE.(www.cnn.com/us/9911/02/egyptair990.list/index.html)http://www.cnn.com/US/9911/02/egyptair990.list/index.html
>On furthe investigation, I found out that he died without making a WILL,
>and all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless. I therefore made
>further investigation and discovered that Mr. Richard did not declare any
>kin or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit
>paperwork in my Bank.
>
>This sum of US$11,500,000.00 is still sitting in my Bank and the interest
>is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year. No
>one has ever come forward to claim it.
>
>According to Nigerian Law, at the expiration of 5(five) years, the money
>will revert to the ownership of the Nigerian Government if nobody applies
>to claim the fund. Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you to
>stand in as the next of kin to Mr. Richard
> so that the fruits of this old man's labour will not get into the hands
>of some corrupt government officials. This is simple, I will like you to
>provide immediately your full names and address so that the Attorney will
>prepare the necessary documents and affidavits which will put you in place
>as the next of kin. and letter of probate/administration in your favour
>for the transfer. A bank account in any part of the world which you will
>provide will then facilitate the transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary/next
>of kin. The money will be paid into your account form us to share in the
>ratio of 70% for me and 25% for you
>and 5% be used in settling taxation and all local and foreign expenses.
>There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this transaction will be
>done by the Attorney and my position as the Branch Manager guarantees the
>successful execution of this
>transaction.
>
>If you are interested, please reply immediately via the private email address
>below. Upon your response, I shall then provide you with more details and
>relevant documents that will help you understand the transaction.
>
>Please observe utmost confidentiality, and be rest assured that this transaction
>would be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your assistance
>to invest my share in your country. I can be reached through this email
>address as well I do urgently await
>your response .
>
>Best regards,
>
>Dr. Dikko Bello.
>
>

SNORE! I have a bad headache, so I tear into this jackass:

Dear Dicko Belly,

First of all, the name of your bank is really gay. "Stallion"? That is a homosexual name for sure. I heard that a lot of Nigerians are homos, but this is ridiculous. I hope you aren't a gay homo, because I am a very conservative businessman and I will only do business with guys who like women, you know what I mean, pal? The soft, firm breasts of a woman, cupped in my hands, now that's what I call a good thing. So, if you like looking at naked men, don't write me again. If you are a straight, god-fearing, woman-loving businessman, we can make a deal. OK homo?

HUGH

Now, I was SURE that would have gotten rid of this a-hole for good, but...

>From: [email protected]
>To: .com
>Subject: let me know.
>Date: Sat, 15 May 2004 01:53:05 +0200
>
>Hello friend,
>
>I have to thank you for your mail , iam not a homosexual and the name of
>my bank is not a name of gay, and i wiil like you to know, that nigerians
>are not homos, I am not one and i do not know of any around me, I am a
>banker who need a foreigner to assist me in this transaction, and not
>any person but responsible personality, so my friend if you think you can
>please let me know.
>
>Thanke
>
>Bello.
>

Well, I think he protested a bit too much about the gay thing...that HOMO!

Dear Dicky,

I'm glad you aren't a gay homo, but I still think the name of your bank is really gay. You should
tell whoever owns it to change its name. Homos are very tricky, and I don't want to catch you trying to trick me into thinking you aren't a homo if you really are one.
Anyway, I'm a serious businessman, and am the CEO of the NY Gastroentereological Group. We are a high tech research facility, and we also invest a lot of money into foreign business. So your proposal is very exciting. The name of our bank contact is Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe Fiduciary Trust located in Hicksville NY. Now you need to send me any necessary documents, and your ID and picture. And don't turn gay on me.

Hugh

Crying or Very sad

Well, I'm still waiting to hear from ol' Dicky. I know these lads get quite pissed off with the gay stuff, so, maybe I offended him . Waddya think?

Posted: Wed May 19, 2004 4:39 am

Man talk about coincidences. One of the mugus I'm baiting sent me some "documents" from "Stallion Security Services Company." You sure we're not baiting the same people?! Hahaha. Razz

Posted: Wed May 19, 2004 5:03 am

tritium4ever wrote:

Man talk about coincidences. One of the mugus I'm baiting sent me some "documents" from "Stallion Security Services Company." You sure we're not baiting the same people?! Hahaha. Razz

Maybe you should mention that he *might* be gay...heh heh

Posted: Thu May 20, 2004 3:13 am

hey hey hey! Guess who wrote me?! Yep! Here's the letter:

From : <[email protected]>
Sent : Wednesday, May 19, 2004 3:08 PM
To : xxxxxx.com
Subject : Urgent Response Required

| | | Inbox

Dear Dr Hugh,

I greet you from this end and thank you very much
foryour last email. Infact after reading your mail, I
wasfurther reassured that I can trust you to follow up
with receiving these funds on our behalf. I would
likein your next mail for you to educate me more on
prospective ares of investment in your country. for
me real estate would be my prefrence . Anyway let us
leave that for now.

Presently all is set for me to immediately put the
transfer process in place with the information you
have already sent down. However it is very careful I
explain the two possible ways that we can effectively
transfer these hudge amount of funds across to you.
First is that we have to make a WILL immediately
avaliable making you the next of kin and inheritor
of the Eleven Million, Five hundred Thousand United
States Dollars. In this process we will require to
hire the service of two independent attornies. The
first one I will be responsible of retaining in the
process of drafting the WILL. Then there would be a
second independent attorney whom you will retain for
the process of registering the WILL at the PROBATE
to enable the bank immediately release the funds. As
you must be aware I am just the banker who will be
responsible of officially releasing the funds ,
however there should be no link between the two of
us as both attornies would not know exactly the true
nature of what we are doing. This will be left to
the both of us.

The second option would be for us to go through the
diploamtic process of moving the funds into an
offshore bank that would conclude the neccessary
process of direct wire transfer of the funds into
your nominated account. Such an offshore bank would be
located in London (England).however for this bank
to render such a service you must have to open an
account with the bank to conclude the process.
please bear in mind that these process are 100% safe and
risk free. This is my assurance and guaranttee to you.

On your own, you will need to immediately get back
to me on this , you must read in between the lines and
ensure you have a complete understanding of both
option and immediately decide on which one is most
convinient to you. You must know that since you are
the beneficiary of the funds, you must be able to
process the ability to handle the receipt of such a
hudge sum. I would like you to educate me about the
Tax laws in your country as regards hudge deposit of
this nature. I would advice that you make provision
to reach me on phone , it might be difficult, but you
must continue to try on + 234 80 339 122 96. As you
know our communication here is not as developed as
it is out there in your country.

I shall await your immediate response to enable us
proceed.

Please remember the transaction code. IT IS WELL

Very Warm Regards

Dr. Bello

And my admittedly lame response:

Dear Dr. Dick Below,

Thanks for your e mail. I am now sure that you are not a gay homo. Thank God! Allah and Jesus Christ will smite gays and throw them into the eternal lake of fire and boil them.
Anyway, back to business.
I am a serious businessman. There is a lot of fraud going on, as you know. There is only ONE way that I will do business with you, and I will explain.
My company is a high technology research company, and we made over 18 million dollars profit last fiscal year. We are always interested in Foreign Investment.
In order for me and my company's Investment Committee to do business with you, it is imperative that we establish TRUST. Therefore we require that you send us a copy of your passport or other identification. As you know, these things are easily forged, so we have one more requirement. We need you to send us a photo of yourself holding a sign with my company slogan "HUGH G RECTION FOR MY COLON." This sign must be LARGE, CLEAR, and EASY TO READ. This slogan can be utilized as our secret password in our business dealings. A photo like this would be practically impossible to fake, therefore it would enable my company to trust you. This requirement is NON NEGOTIABLE.
If you are able to satisfy this requirement, we can do business.

Regards,

Dr. Hugh G. Rection, M.D., Phd., CEO
NY Gastroentereological Group
Fighting colon cancer, saving lives.
"Hugh G. Rection for MY colon!"

Hmmm, let's see if he keeps nibbling, the little poofter. Twisted Evil

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