The making of a TWAT (Dec. 1 - NEW VIDEO - p.10)

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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:06 am

Big Worm wrote:

Well the Ordainment Ceremony Manual has been completed and approved. It is pretty damn funny! YW's buddy can write some pretty F'd up chit.

ROFLMFAO!!!

I think I should forward that to our HR department at work.

Very Happy

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 9:25 am

The Deputy Govenor of the CBN seems keen to demolish the pyramid...

Quote:

Attn: Brother Roy,

Thank for your mail consider this job done. All I needed from you now is mobilization fee of 500 pounds to send the boys there to take a look of the envelopment at list for two to three days and I will let you know when this job will be carried on.

Hmm, you dont read the emails do you. No money up front. Never mind, if he beleives it, he'll still go. No sign of Austine, I doubt his mummy will let him have money for the internet cafe, after all the trouble it's caused.

Once the Burning Brown Eye ceremony has been performed, and the photos posted, wouldn't it be irresponsible if a rival Church were to leak them to the Daily Sun, with an outraged press release about the evil fetish TWATS in Benin City?

Unlike when we tried to get a story about YW's floating trunkbox in the papers, this time there is something that a journalist could go and see for himself.

It would be even more irresponsible to hint at the valuable booty within, as the subsequent movement of the population of West Africa to a courtyard in Benin City might make the Earth wobble on its axis.

Is there an icon for a mass migration, say with lemmings on it? Very Happy

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 2:46 pm

Our TWAT has been sent the instructions for the ordainment.

Quote:

Dearest Brother Omoruyi,

I have finally been able to work things out with Rev. Phystme. Here is how we need to proceed.

First off, you need to be ordained. This is ususally done in the presence of Rev. Phystme. But since Rev. Phystme is so busy for the next couple of months, we can go ahead with the ordainment cerimony without him. This is a good thing. Otherwise, we would be waiting until the end of January to get this done.

I have attached the ordainment cerimony instructions. You will need to enter CDXIX to open it. As you will see, the cerimony takes no more than about 15 minutes. Of all of the churches out there, I believe that ours must be the shortest of all ordainment cerimonies.

There is only one thing that Rev. Phystme asks of you. Since he is not able to attend the ordainment, he has asked that the cerimony be video taped, converted into an MPEG, and then emailed to us. That way he can feel like he was there for you in person.

On an unrelated note, I have spoken to our construction engineer. He is already making plans to arrive in Nigeria sometime in December to meet with you, and see where you feel the new church should be built. He will survey the location. He will also be bringing with him most of the money that we will need to get the church built. Since he is not an ordained TWAT minister, this money will be turned over to you for safe keeping, in accordance with the church's rules governing finances. I trust that you will have a safe place to keep it.

He will also be bringing with him, by ship, the granite alter that will grace your congregation. It is a work of art. Hand carved from a single block of black granite, it is one of the most beautiful things that you will ever see. It weighs nearly 12 tons and took over a year to create. TWAT has its own ship for trasporting it. We will need to arrange for transport of it from Lagos.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I am looking forward to addressing you as Reverend.

Stay Blessed,

--
Reverend Benjamin Dover

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 2:47 pm

Roy...you continue to come up with some great ideas. If we got an actual article about the TWAT pyramid, I would frame it and hang it in my office. Very Happy

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:28 pm

Doctor Mike works for the Yahoo Internet Lottery, however he is keen to have a go too, but full of questions, the answer to most of them were in my emails.

Quote:

Mr. Roy.

Thanks for the details of the deal, I promise I will steal the pyramid; but I have to mobilize some hard men that will assist me in the mission.

I have some question for you before I commence action about the said deal.

1) What are the forces behind this pyramid???
2) What must I do with the contents in this pyramid???
3) What is the meaning of T.W.A.T???
4) What is the power of fundaligi0n???
5) Why must I go with a camera???
6) Will your organization fund this deal???
7) And how will the payment be made???

I am ready to stick out my neck for this deal, if you can only give me the whole details on why this pyramid must be destroyed.

I am ready to work with you if you can comply and reciprocate with me, believe me ok.

Mike Denison.

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:30 pm

Quote:

I am ready to work with you if you can comply and reciprocate with me, believe me ok.

Oh believe me...he will be reciprocated Laughing

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 5:12 pm

This bait ranks up at the top. The pyramid, the evil pyramid destroyers, I'm just beside myself with amazement.

Master Baiter Joined: 21 Jul 2005 Posts: 137

Quote:

Thanks for the details of the deal, I promise I will steal the pyramid; but I have to mobilize some hard men that will assist me in the mission.

I just hope he's got a big truck for all those bags of dirt !

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 8:31 pm

I just HAD to do something to help. I know you like the dark marble for the altars, but my workmen like this wonderful warm tan marble.

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 8:40 pm

^^^
can you do a chop with an upside down sandbag Pyramid?

only the strong in faith can build one of those *muahahaha*

[edit: they are easier to demolish too]

Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 9:01 pm

Quote:

I am ready to stick out my neck for this deal

Here, rest it on this wooden block.... Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 3:28 pm

Mr Mike definitely has a hardon for the money, his 'hard men' seem very expensive though...

Quote:

Dear Roy.

I thank you so much for your information and answer.

Yes I am interested to do it, I have mobilize hard men that will go the mission with me and they said that before the will take such risk that I must pay them upfront.

I told them that I don�t have money to mobilize them, they refused, they said that I must give each of them $2000,then after the mission I balance them $3000 each, and they are 5 in numbers plus me, but I am not colleting any money from you based on the 25% as we agreed.

You can call me immediately you receive this email on 234-8023089035 so we can discuss on how to put hands together to mobilize those war lord�s.

How much do you think you can come up with to mobilize those men???
How much diamond and gold do you think is heart of this pyramid????

Thank,
Mike Denison

If I can get him to stump up $10,000 to give his 'war lord's' all the better!
He's not getting it from me though!

Quote:

You have the most expensive war lords in the World, Mike. They want $25,000 between them? You could buy a small country for that in your part of the world. I suggest that it is them you should be negotiating with.

I dont see that there is a risk, the pyramid is not guarded at night, as few people know what lies within its heart.

Ive told you, I'm a monk, and dont possess money, which is why I am offering you a share of this treasure.

Its value depends on where you can dispose of the gold and diamonds. I'm told Amsterdam is good, do you know anyone there? Perhaps you could sell the lot. then we split the cash.

He then sends me the pictures of all the TWAT heirarchy, from their website, and asks

Quote:

Dear Roy.
could you please tell us more about this people below,

how inportant is the distroction of the pyramid to you and your brother???

Mike Denison.

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 3:46 pm

Quote:

He then sends me the pictures of all the TWAT heirarchy

For a moment there I thought to myself...

'Whoa Whoa. That lad is thinking about going and hurting the people from TWAT. He knows what they look like as he has their photo's. Roy has broken the rules about not involving third parties here Shocked

'

I then remembered that this is all fake Embarassed

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 23 Jul 2006 Posts: 6

Im watching the news over the next couple of days for reports on civil war breaking out courtesy of you lot.

That would be a trophy !

great work

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 4:12 pm

He wants 25K to go to the pyramid? What an ass. It doesn't sound like he's going anywhere.

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 4:16 pm

it sounds like a good deal to me YW. Just as long as he knows that he will not receive the money untill afterwards.

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 4:24 pm

I'm hoping he will rip me off, and go freelance to the pyramid anyway when no upfront money is forthcoming. He knows I know he's a scammer. Wink

At least this one's in Nigeria, unlike the muppets who think I'm going to fly them in from abroad.

Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 5:21 pm

any updates on this one? I've been anxiously awaiting ever since the forum went down. Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 6:19 pm

^^^^
Yes and no.

He says that he completed and videotaped the cerimony. He must have screwed up attaching the two videos though, because each one was only 1kb in size and neither worked. I have asked him to look into it and get the videos to me ASAP.

Big Worm and I were talking about this the other day. It seems that this lad actually believes in the church and sincerely wants to join it and be a minister. We have tried to bait his lottery format for about a week now and have not received any sort of response. So, the question now is, how far do we push this guy? We are certain that he will do ANYTHING that we ask (read the cerimony procedures and you'll see what we mean). But it also appears that he is not really a hard-core scammer. So, we find ourselves on the fence. Do we bait this guy to the ends of the earth? Or do we let him down easy after we get our videotape and XMas card submission?

Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 8:27 pm

If you can get a video of him being travelling along the main street of town on a wooden sleigh pulled by goats while throwing TWAT advertising pamphlets wrapped around candy to the startled onlookers and shouting "Repent of your sins and come to my TWAT" wearing his full regalia, then you may let him go.

Don't forget the sleigh will need a lighted candle at each corner.

Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 8:36 pm

YOur proberly right about him not being a big time scammer. The ones that do all the stupid stuff are proberly at the bottom of the heap. However if it stops them climbing the ladder or making money for the big boys then it still has an affect. It may well be there own greed in that they think money is coming and try to go it alone Smile

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 22 Nov 2006 Posts: 4

Seems like the other monuments from the website didn't have their brown eye on top of the pyramid - I wonder how they got their enormous payouts? Smile

Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 11:52 am

I can't access the link to the cerimony. Has it been moved?

Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 6:38 pm

I was hosting it on my eater space and I think that is temporarily down due to the recent reinstall of the forum. I uploaded it to a free hosting site so you can download it at:

http://www.freefilehosting.org/public/23939/ordainment.pdf

I will also change the link in my original post...at least until my eater space is back online. Password to open is CDXIX

Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 11:21 pm

That's some great work BW. Who wouldn't want to be a member of that church.

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