Oops! Sea Mugu meets Jojobean's lad, now pyramid wrecking!

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Elite Baiter Joined: 03 Jan 2006 Posts: 1455

You are evil people.

Nice work; keep it up!

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I'm curious as to how they're going to be able to take pictures of the damn pyramid coming down, considering that they will be destroying it in the middle of the night.

I offically love this thread.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 Nov 2006 Posts: 48

These people amaze me. What gives them motivation to do all of this?

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 2:03 am

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 2:40 am

No, no, it's their deep religious convictions.

Nah, it's the money.

*** BANNED *** Joined: 10 Jan 2004 Posts: 3779

Pachanga wrote:

Since Austine has been so faithful (stupid), isn't it time he adopted special clothing to set him apart from nonfundal1gionists?

Looking at the long history of this congregation I'd recommend something very medieval. Black is also very useful for nightly expeditions and excavations.

Blackadder wrote:

Black: his gloves of finest mole,
Black: his codpiece made of metal,
His horse is blacker than a vole,
His pot is blacker than his kettle.

Quote:

Percy: ...and codpiece, My Lord?
Edmund: Well, let's go for the Black Russian, shall we? It always terrifies the clergy! (laughs ridiculously)

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 08 Apr 2006 Posts: 571

Quote:

Percy: ...and codpiece, My Lord?
Edmund: Well, let's go for the Black Russian, shall we? It always terrifies the clergy! (laughs ridiculously)

(o/t) Wow, that is the only episode of that show I've ever seen. I don't know if I dare watch it again Shocked

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 10:19 am

We shall have to look into a Fundaligi0us uniform. Black sounds good, when I googled 'Evil Monk', of course I get this guy, one G ('Rara') Rasputin (Lover of the Russian Queen, it was a shame how he carried on)

We have a bit of a labour dispute at the moment, Austine has a default scrounge mode that he goes into in between Church missions:

Quote:

let me be like u plssssssss

dear sister,
is like u don't know where is benin city,the place where all evil take place in nigeria Shocked

.see i can do that if the church<foundaligion> can put the power in me by seeing them to know more about the church besides there is no way i can trust any living in same church when i'ven't notice any membership love.

,just to send me money, they refuse till i went to ghana and fustrated myself ,look sister when next u mail me again u tell me how will i get the money the church use to support my faith b/cos when they talk much and do less is absolutely nonsense ok.incase u don't know when i started this they gave a promise that i will be given $5,000 for my new membership so is just b/cos of my too much believe and pratice make me suffer in the past.pls without this now i can't continue this with u again.

HALLELUJAGOBBLE
AUSTINE

Lets see if we can appeal to his greed. Again.

Quote:

Dear Austine,

I don't know Benin City, dont forget I have only been in Africa just over a week, what is it like? If you have no faith in us any more, get someone to go and look for the pyramid, and report to you if it is there or not. In the meantime, we are trying to get our informant to send us a map showing precisely where the pyramid is, although we already have the address.

The vaulables in there are worth a lot more than $20,000, this is how you will get your money from us. as I told you we are strapped for cash right now, we cant even get the bus back on the road without some help. If you want to be really usefull, find us a 1966 Bedford VAM bus cylinder head.

I am often as frustrated as you over Fundaligion's reluctance to part wiyth money, this is why we have to beg for it ourselves sometimes. They just say that they have been scammed too many times, and leave it at that, as you have found out.

Well this time, we are taking the money, not waiting for it to be sent from Weatherfield. For this reason, Father Phine4s and his staff know NOTHING about this, and it must stay that way. This is a bit of local theft really, althougfh we will present it to him as a huge triumph, if you can get photos of the destroyed pyramid. Maybe then we will all get the funds we were promised, although we will actually need them less if we have treasure.

When you said you were 'down' with whatever the Church wanted, I assumed that you meant it. Was that the truth, Austine, or were you lying to me?

If you really want nothing to do with this, and dont want anything to do with the project, and dont want first pick of the valuables, then we shall do it without you, as soon as we get our bus fixed, and expel you - It's up to you.

Hallelujagobble!
-
Anna Lynne

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 10:32 am

Theres no way he is going to fall for that, is there Very Happy

"fustrated myself "

Hmm I wont even go there

In public Shocked

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 12:07 pm

Roy-

My lad was so impressed with your boy�s tattoo that he wants to get another one! I followed Ginger Head�s advice and told my lad that he needed to follow the last step. So I told him this:

Quote:

Dearest Kevin-

I am so happy to see that you have been faithful. The final test is upon you. You have on of two options. The first is to get your n!pples pierced. They must stay in for a complete year after you receive the money. The second, is to get a tattoo around your n!pples. Just a 3 inch circle around both of your n!pples. The choice is yours my friend. Now that you have passed the Good Samaratin Test, we know you are indeed a true member of our church. Mike Hock is proud. He sends his greetings brother. This needs to be done by the end of the month, for obvious tax reasons. We will need pictures of the procedure both DURING and AFTER the procedure. Once you complete this, the money is your brother. Plus, we have a big surprise for your faithfulness. Would you like to come to America and see the church? On a free trip? We can arrange this for you and your girlfriend.
Franc

So he replies:

Quote:

Dear Franc

Thanks for everything i show the brother my tattoos but i don't understard the new tattoo you want me to do on my n!pples can i do it the place i like in my body the n!pples i will feel too much pain Laughing

can you explae to me but please now i don't have money all the money i get from my friend i have use it to get a house now i don't have money to do anything please send me somemoney to use it this i will like to come american to come see the Church please send some money please i do everything you want me to do i will be waiting for you thank you god bless

Roy- this little meeting has given Kevin the extra pep in his step that he needed. He was getting a little bored with my antics. However, he is right back where I want him. He has asked if he could get the tattoo somewhere else. I told him that was fine. Of course, once the tattoo gets finished, there will be something wrong and he will have to get the original done.

Roy, if your lad does not get to make the trip to destroy YW�s pyramid, I might try to send mine. YW- your lad is in Benin, right?

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 12:19 pm

I am glad to find that Brother Kevin was inspired by Bro Austine's faith to have such a monster tattoo.

Maybe we could get them to go at the same time, seeing as they know each other. I have to get my lad back on side first, though.

If not, I'm sure the TWAT pyramid can withstand more than one attack, we can keep sending lads until the sandbag full of treasure is found.

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 12:54 pm

Maybe we can collaborate on this one again Roy. We can get them to meet up again. We will need to get our story straight, but that should not be a problem. If we could get them to meet up again to tear this down together, that would be brilliant! Obviously, the sandbag full of treasure is most likely to be at the bottom in the middle.

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 12:56 pm

I prefer the idea that you get them to do it on the same night but without knowledge of each other doing it.

Remember the scene from the life of Brian when the two militant groups bump into each other under the palace? Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

You know, you could also give Kevin the charge of PROTECTING the pyramid, as you have heard of rouge church scoundrals that want to destroy it.

Just a thought.

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 2:19 pm

/\/\/\ I think the family who built the pyramid will be busy protecting it. From the address I have, and the photo, It might be in their back yard!

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 2:19 pm

Thats what I was thinking as well Roy...THIS SHOULD BE FUN! Very Happy

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 2:21 pm

Will the lad be expected to shout Hallelujagobble whilst performing this raid???

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 2:42 pm

How weird could this be? Three separate baits, colliding in one place? That would be a first I believe.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

How will they be protecting the pyramid? Once darkness falls, anything could happen.

Did you ask them to build lights surrounding the pyramid for protection? I'm thinking that they'll need some pretty heavy duty lighting for this one. What type of pyramid guard schedule do they have?

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 2:56 pm

Beats me. They have only been given a passing warning that their is evil out there that may want to destroy their Monument of Faith.

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 4:57 pm

In case Austine decides he wont leave town again without money up front, we have a backup plan.

Brother Geoffrey is the latest sea mugu. http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=92613
He impressed the Church Elders by standing in the Atlantic Ocean in his bucket, however before his tattoo, he is being a royal pain in the ass by querying everything to do with the Church.

He suspects that we are Occultist. I can assure him that we are not, however Fundaligi0n is not a lot of things. Very Happy

Anyway, he has been sent a similar email to Bro Austine, if he gets the gold and jewels from the heart of the TWAT pyramid he will be spared the tattoo, and get to share the booty.

Any news on the map, YW? I'm damned if I can find a clear street map of Benin City.

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 5:29 pm

No map. I have not heard back from him yet. But when I do get it, I will be sure to post it.

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 8:38 pm

Wussy Mugu wrote:

the n!pples i will feel too much pain

Bollocks!

I hope you're not going to let him get away with this. You haven't asked him to tattoo his nipples, but circles around them. A circle around both nipples, joined in the middle and a line back to his armpits would do nicely. Like a giant pair of spectacles...

If he gets a tattoo anywhere else, it will need to be visable at all times. The back of the knees would be good as they would lie on the pathway of the life from the heart to the feet, carrying one forward in glory.

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 8:44 pm

Quote:

The back of the knees would be good as they would lie on the pathway of the life from the heart to the feet, carrying one forward in glory.

Callum, I don't know you very well but I feel safe that you won't be offended if I call you a nasty bugger. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 9:03 pm

If you can get a map, that would be nice. My boy will need to know how to get there.

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