Oops! Sea Mugu meets Jojobean's lad, now pyramid wrecking!

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Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 4:39 pm

This is a variation on the ASEM that YW used to send lads scurrying to Abuja. I picked this town in rural Ghana because (a) Its in the back end of nowhere, and (b) The Western Union Agent Locator page gives the address as 'Opposite the Police Station'. Twisted Evil

No doubt I shall be hearing from my first very soon...

Quote:

Dear Mr Dastard1y,

I am so glad that you are now able to go ahead with the Kum4wu 0ur
S0uls Orphange project, and with this $25,000 grant you should also be
able to buy the baby incubator. I will send the second installment
after you have started work on the main building - please keep me
updated on your progress. As you requested, I am sending the transfer
in a form that you can readily cash, so that you can pay the
contractor 'off the books'.

The guys at the Western Union office weren't helpful at first, as they
have a strict $2999 limit to Ghana, but I called my old college buddy
Jack Greenberg, in Engleberg, he's the Chairman of the Western Union
board of directors. Because of the charitable nature of this transfer,
and the danger of bad publicity if the shit hits the fan, he has
authorised a Western Union Secure transfer to the branch nearest you,
the Kum4wuman Rural Bank, in Kum4wu.For security, Secure Transfers
dont use an MTCN, so noone can intercept the payment and claim it at
another branch. I enclose a scan of the receipt they gave me. You need
to take this in and give it to the MANAGER, not the dogsbody on the
counter. He has been forewarned of the transfer, as normally they
wouldn't have that much cash in one branch. For that reason, they
CAN'T transfer it to another branch.

As I didnt know the name of the individual picking up the money, I am
giving you the Test Question and Answer, to verify that the person you
send was sent by you. Share this with noone.

Question: Catch who?

Answer: The pigeon

Please let me know when you have the money

--
USA

Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 5:04 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That should get a lot of lads all worked up. Let's see how many of them actually read the fine print. At least half of the morons will probably ask you to re-route the money and send it "regular" WU.

Right across the street from the cop shop? Nice.

Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 5:07 pm

Way to go ooooooooooooooooooooo

Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 7:45 pm

Roycropper wrote:

I picked this town in rural Ghana because (a) Its in the back end of nowhere, and (b) The Western Union Agent Locator page gives the address as 'Opposite the Police Station'.

The only thing that could be better is if the town had a live web cam showing the street between the office and the clink. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 7:59 pm

You were right, YW, here's the first one....

Quote:

Thanks for your information,please go-ahead to re-send the fund with the following informations i am going to provide as fellows -:
Sender's name ...Winston Cup
Receiver's name -: Paul Ike
Destination country.......Benin
City.........................Cotonou
Test question ....Catch who?
Answer...........Pigeon
You can send it bit by bit ie $2,500:00, $2,500:00
To pick it with this informations is ok by me .
My regards
Mr Dastardly

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 10:07 am

Checked into the mailbox this morning, to find mugus asking for the money to be sent everywhere from London to Jo'berg.

Stupid mugus, Dr Cup will not stand for this.

Quote:

Dastardly,

Read the damn email, fool.

What part of �they CAN'T transfer it to another branch� do you not understand. I went to a lot of trouble to set this up.

Just do your bloody job and stop whining like a small boy.

Dr Cup

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 12:46 pm

"small boy" hahaha, thats bound to put the cat amoungst the "pidgeons"! Laughing

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 12:59 pm

Lauging and learning here, thanks for sharing, please keep us posted

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 2:01 pm

Roy-

I just sent out a similar email with decent results. If it is a bank that you sent the WU xfer to, then I have a suggestion. When they write back asking you to transfer the money to some other stupid location, tell them the following:

Quote:

�As we have spoken about before, I cannot send the money to your location. Like we discussed on the phone before I left for my missions journey to (insert some place that has no phone access), there is the safe deposit box at the bank as well. When you pick up your WU xfer you can also pick up the key to the safe deposit box. Inside there is the $50,000 cash to start the orphanage. It is a larger box that holds the laptops as well. The bank manager will know who you are. I have told them that you will not have proper ID, and that you just need to tell the bank manager the following phrase: (insert stupid phrase here). Thanks for understanding.�

I have used this a number of times Roy- it has worked pretty well.

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 3:37 pm

Cheers, JJB. Cut 'n pasted into my 'formats' file!

EDIT: Also just sent to a Mr Dastardly. He is in South Africa, so that would be a safari and a half! Very Happy

The password phrase was "Muttley, do something!"

For noobs, part of the beauty of an ASEM, you can refer to all sorts of stuff that has been 'agreed before', like the security photo, the nature of the payment you are making, the codeword etc etc, and they are in no position to contradict you without giving away that they are not the real or whoever they are meant to be.

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 4:22 pm

Ooooooooooooooooo South Africa! Now, that is quite the hike and scores big on the safari calculation scale. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:30 pm

I say that you should of tried to send all the lads to the same WU at the same time. say there is a timer on this money and if it isnt picked up at 15:30 the money will vanish not before or after then there will be a queue of lads shouting pigeon in the WU office near the police station.... Maybe they'll get arressted for being disruptive

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:36 pm

Hopefully the SA lad will come through. They generally have a bit more cash at their disposal- at least that has been my experience. They are a bit more willing.

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:54 pm

Sadly he's too lazy. Me, I'd be on a plane by now.

Quote:

> I SPOKE TO THE BANK MANAGER BUT HE DOES NOT READY TO LISTEN,THAT WAS WHY YOU
> NEEDS TO CHANGE THE DESTINATION AND RECEIVERS NAME.TRY AND RESPOND TO MY
> REQUEST AS AM READY TO COOPERATE WITH YOU.
> THANKS.

Yeah, cooperate as in sit on your lazy lad butt and wait for the money to come to you. Rolling Eyes

He cant even be arsed to change his email, unlike the other Dast4rdlys. He's still a London claims agent, depite the fact his IP is in South Africa. Do you think I should let on I know this?

BTW, email now sent to 250 lads, less 52 bounces. I just sent it to my SeaMugu lad, for a laugh.

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 6:01 pm

^^^^
Other than giving you the satisfaction of shoving his lie up his ass, how will it make him travel? Odds are, it probably won't and may only end up causing him to change his pathetic story so the next victim might fall for it. I'd let it go.

Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 6:16 pm

@YW, You're right, of course. If I let him know his IP gives him away he'll only take the trouble to find out about safe scamming.

I decided to go for the gross insult, while letting him know that the money's still sat there waiting for him.

Quote:

Dastardly,

You are a liar. I just spoke to the bank manager on the telephone, he
has heard from NOONE at your organisation.Like me, he has gone to a
lot of trouble for this transaction, and isnt happy to be sitting
there waiting for someone to collect the money, let alone the security
implications of all that extra cash in his branch.

I cant beleive that I go to all this trouble to send you all this
money, and you just sit on your fat ass, molesting the children in
your orphange, no doubt.

Don't make me fly out there and take the money out of that safe.

Dr Cup

Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 11:35 am

/\/\/\ Lad now wants to ring the bank, Ive told him to go in person, or call me.

Meanwhile, remember Aust1ne, the Seamugu lad? He couldnt resist trying to tap Dr Cup for a few Dollars, he really will beleive anything.

Quote:

hello,
i am Aust1ne Ud0h,a student in Nigeria Actually my intention of writing to you is to ask for your assistance in my school problems interms of money,am from a very poor family that cannot further my education and shelter,honestly am trying hard to earn a living and is the more reason why am feeling pain to complain how things really got so bad besides your helping me today might create us a chance of being a friend tomorrow please i will be glad if my request will be accepteable. thanks

Time to offer him more destinations, I think. The hard part is remebering not to mention 'Hallelujagobble!' I am hoping I can get him to moan about how badly I have treated him in other baits. Twisted Evil

Quote:

Dear Mr Udoh,

I am intrigued by your email, how did you get my address? I am happy
to be your friend, but how can I help you?

Do you know a place called Wawa, in Nigeria? We have a foundation
there, the Pedal Institute (Wawa Pedal, geddit? Very Happy

). if you turn up and say that Dr Cup sent
you, they will be able to help you.

We also are setting up an orphange in Kumawu, Ghana, do you want a job
there? I'm sure I can arrange it, but youd have to find your own way
there. The rules of my foundation prohibit me from sending individual
grants and travel expenses, but we would be happy to look after your
future.

Quote:

Dear Cup,
i haven't come across Wawa in Nigeria and i dont know where it is in Nigeria,although am so much interested in the pedal instutute thats if you can tell me more about it b/cos i don't believe that there will be any instutution in Nigeria that can offer a help just like that.so Mr Cup pls can you just help me with any amount of money b/cos im writting a serious exam now in the school that is costing me so much money besides Mr Cup your pic impressed me so much and am having a feeling that you are a God fearing man.
Udoh Austine

The pic I sent was one of N0rris C0le. You never learn Austine.

98% of Eaters who expressed a preference said I should keep on at him. Next email I shall ask if he's a member of any Churches yet. I know he's still got a free shoulder.

Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 1:29 pm

The lad cannot ring the bank. You have given strict orders for the bank manager to ignore any calls about this on the phone. This is for reasons best known to us. That has shut them up in the past.

Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:46 pm

I'll tell him that, JJB. Meanwhile, Aust1ne is trying to scam me from a 'dastardly' account, as well as his direct begging approach. He has no idea that he is the only lad who knows about the Pedal Institute. Bless. He's always good vaule, I knew he'd like Doctor Cup after all those horrid monks.

Quote:

Dear Cup,
You can send it to Nigerian Branch if possible,b/cos right now am about about to enter our pedal instutution in Nigeria to Verify something that i will let you know later
pls as soon as possible
Dick D4stardly

BTW, I just found a real life Wawa Charities Program, I'll send him a link, not that he ever doubts me.

Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 3:03 pm

I love reading threads like these!

If I wasn't so wrapped up in engineering a safari from one of the sharper mugus while suffering from my present time constraints, I'd craft one of these myself.

If I end up with a pith hat next week, I'll tip it to you, Roy!

Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 2:14 pm

The Seamugu lad, Austine, posing as the is now trying a crap 'dying patient' routine on Dr Cup, to try and get travelling expenses. beofre I even checked his Ip I knew it was him from his madcap style:

Quote:

RICHARD situation now is currently in danger and if we dont make a move he might be {LATE} or dead in short time,RICHARD has martyr to his nerve and he now spokes in a supulcharal way,He is heavinly reliant upon charity and helpful society.
We are trying to state a glimpe of the whole situation but we dont want to make it obfuscated to you ,as we want to state it clearly.
Please brethen dont shilly-shally over this situation make up your mind fast as we are now in the penultimate week.
We don't want to tootle with this situatution rather we want to hastening everything up as his situation is extremly horrific.

we are never diddlinmg people rather we are doing it for the sdake of richards life which was left out

Remember RICHARD LIFE LIES ON YOUR PALM.
.

He even recycles (badly) a prayer which I sent him as Father J0rgens. Rolling Eyes

Anyway, he seems to be trying to raise money to go to Ghana, collect Dr Cup's money from the bank in Kum4wu, then run away and join Fundaligi0n. Sister has just heard from Austine, who now has the money to come and join her at the hippo sanctuary in NW Ghana after all. 2 safaris for the price of one! jump_4_joy

He is now emailing me as 3 different people, but doesnt know I am baiting him from (counts on fingers) six different email accounts. He even emails one of me to complain how badly another of me has treated him! Laughing

BTW, I am glad he hasnt forgotten to end his emails with a Hallelujagobble!

Edit, just found this from him in the Fundaligion account:

Quote:

My Dear Member,
my spirit HALLELUJAGOBBLE cos am so much glad that i later got the fund.so am coming to Ghana on saturday during afternoon besides i opologize to my fellow members about the past but i still repeat my promise that two weeks is much for me to involve ten members from my country.
HALLELUJAGOBBLE
Brother Austine

I love the fact that, after all he has been through, he is aplogizing to me! Very Happy

Master Baiter Joined: 21 Jul 2005 Posts: 137

I can't believe how he just keeps coming back for more. Austin really is the king of the idiots.

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 4:01 am

Hippo's are one of the most dangerous creatures around and he's been sent to a hippo sanctuary. Oh dear, what a shocking coincidence! Very Happy

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 11:15 am

@Roycropper,

Fantastic stuff there. You really have a prize lad. I am having trouble keeping up with the e-mails he is sending you, so i have no idea how you manage it. SIX accounts? Jesus, i get problems with two!!!

Keep us updated on this one i really look forward to reading your baits. They are quite "unique" and appeal to my twisted mentality.

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 1:54 pm

Thanks.

Quote:

My Dear Father Phineas,
i swear with my faith am so much glad that at last i won all the temptations that came across right from the day i intended to join the church and i also thank God for you,Father Jorgens,and brother Roy especially for multivating my spirit so i've let the sister known that am coming to Ghana this coming sunday,
HALLELUJAGOBBLE
Brother Austine

Quote:

Dear Sister,
Actually am so much glad ever since i was baptised of the Fire and is the more reason why i will never lost my faith so like you asked about my coming to Ghana,

i prefer as am in accra on sunday(5-11-2006) during afternoon let there be church bus that will pick me up from there just like Father Jorgens promised me before and it will also help to save my little fund besides i need the phone number of the person that will come and pick me from accra cos am leaving Nigeria very early,
and when i will first shout HALLELUJAGOBBLE let the person respond,so that i will know that am dealing with the right person.

HALLELUJAGOBBLE
Brother Austine Udoh

If only we could be in in the Accra, Lorry Park tommorow, we would have the treat of seeing Austine running around shouting 'Hallelujagobble!'

He has had replies from Father Phon3as and Sister Anna, who wrote:

Quote:

Austine,

Hallelujagobble! Were so happy. I attach a picture of the Church bus,
it will be waiting for you in Accra Lorry park tomorrow afyternoon. I
hope you get this before you set off!

Father Franklin has a sattelite mobile, the number is xxxxxxxxxxxx.

I look forward to meeting you soon

Hallelujagobble!

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