The making of a TWAT (Dec. 1 - NEW VIDEO - p.10)

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Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:14 am

The minimum size is 4 meters square at the base and 3 meters high.

Wait until the lads hear about the pyramid relocation ceremony.

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:22 am

This definitely has the potential for future "pilgrimage" photo opportunities. I can't wait to see the finished product.

Way to go guys! clapping

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:24 am

Do they have to manufacture their own organic/holy bricks from straw and goat sh!t ?

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:46 am

Actually, BW produced the pyramid building instruction manual. It is a work of art and funny as hell. There is NO WAY a lad could possibly F it up if he follows these.

<a href="http://yeawhatever.catholiccall.org/twat/pyramid.pdf" target="_blank"> Pyramid Building Instruction Manual</a>
If you get a promt to enter a password, enter CDXIX.

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:53 am

Are you going to require pictures during consturction to insure that the lads dont just stack some sacks on an existing mound of dirt?

Great instructions, BTW.

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:59 am

Of course. We will demand photos for the entire process otherwise I can only imagine the Hall of Shame material that we will be getting.

By the way, my 11 year old son thinks that this is just about the funniest damn thing that he has ever seen (So do I. I am happy to see that I have the same sence of humour that an 11 year old has) and has figured out how many sacks it would probably take to finish one of these things. He estimated about 2500 sacks, each one weighing about 60 pounds. That is about 150,000 pounds.

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 4:39 am

Guys I dont know if mugu's are smart enough to figure this out, but maybe change the copyright bit on the Pyramid Building Guide to some year other than 2006?

This has 2 benefits.

1) If they are mildly intelligent they will question that its so recently created?

BUT more funnier is the below:

2) Make the Copyright year something like 1982. Then when they build the Pyramid, tell them that was the OLD manual (duh, see? it was made in 1982!) and that you now have NEW updated instructions and send them the 2006 instructions, which (of course) call for a bigger pyramid, otherwise they dont get the grant. If they are truly as stupid as they should be, they will go and extend the pyramid size!

Thoughts?

[EDIT] OH YOUR EVIL! I just read the full instructions, and noticed that since the bags are rectangular, not square, the pyramid wont come to a proper point, and will never be symmetrical at all!!! haha, something else to pull them up about!!! Love it!!!

Forever n00b Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 432

Excellent stuff. Dig it man!

One minor error on the grants page.

Applying for a Grant
Applying for a grant is an easy process. Simply contact one of out (Shouldn't this say "our"?) pastors and they will provide you with everything that you need. Grants are awarded based upon the candidate's proof of faith. Also, there needs to be a well thought out plan for what the grant money will be used for. Spreading TWAT all over the world is obviously what we promote. Spreading TWAT can be done in a number of new and creative ways. We are not sold on the notion that there is only one way to spread TWAT.

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 9:27 am

Way to go! I notice that the Brown Eye at the top has to be made of a flammable material. Will there be a 'Burning Eye Ceremony' at a later stage, then?

I just had an evil thought. Twisted Evil

If you can get the lads to send you the precise location of the pyramid (so that you can find it on Google Earth Very Happy

), then you could send other lads on safari there, to recover the trunkbox of cash buried underneath it!

I can see chaos and ladfights breaking out! jump_4_joy

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 9:56 am

And there was me thinking it would just be an interesting logo for a tattoo.

Fantastic stuff. Can't wait to see the piramids popping up all over the world.

I can just imagine 1 group of lads trying to find a trunk box underneath, while another group fight to defend their pyramid from a bunch of icon destroying heathens. Lad wars lol.

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 10:22 am

I'm afraid that the Construction Manual, for all its quality as a work of art...

... still doesn't have Apocalyptic spelled correctly.

419Eater is my life Joined: 21 Aug 2005 Posts: 381

In a few hundred years some archeologist will discover that in the beginning of the 21st century a new religion developed in west africa. It combined traditional (pyramids) and modern (internet-monks) things. The followers of this religion were called "small bois" and lived in internet cafes and western union branches.

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:45 pm

Fantastic! Laughing

I've only hinted to the apocalyptic elements of the faith in my own church bait, but this is genius!

Can't wait to see this kick off.

Any chance of more occult/masonic elements such as aprons, secret handshakes, rituals and signs, maybe even indoctrination into degrees that will see them illuminated with occult knowledge?

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 1:07 pm

wow this thread blew up overnight Very Happy

I will make the spelling changes...YW was right, you can blame it on me!

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 1:09 pm

Roycropper wrote:

Way to go! I notice that the Brown Eye at the top has to be made of a flammable material. Will there be a 'Burning Eye Ceremony' at a later stage, then?

I just had an evil thought. Twisted Evil

If you can get the lads to send you the precise location of the pyramid (so that you can find it on Google Earth Very Happy

), then you could send other lads on safari there, to recover the trunkbox of cash buried underneath it!

I can see chaos and ladfights breaking out! jump_4_joy

You are evil Roy...I love that idea! Yes the Brown Eye will be lit up. And I am surprised no one has commented on the name "Brown Eye" hehehehe.

BW

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 1:36 pm

Now if we can get the Lads to tattoo themselves on their foreheads with molten metal and shave their heads...

And once they've completed the pyramid, time to build the Chaapa'ai next to each one, symbolising the path to heaven that a sound and stable faith makes possible.

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 1:36 pm

Makes all my years of studying Egyptology and archaeology worthwhile!! Laughing

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 1:42 pm

just to build on what roy said, do you recon you could get a lad to recover the loot when the lads building the pyramid near completion? it would be pretty funny to play threm off against each other if one destroys it by night and the other builds by day.

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:24 pm

YW - I would suggest that, in addition to the brown eye, that various sacred (perhaps Masonic?) symbols be required to be painted on each side of the pyramid. In this way, you can demand photos of all four sides, and make sure that the lads have not simply built a facade!

Bruin

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Feb 2005 Posts: 2301

This is going to be fantastic! Very Happy

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 3:17 pm

Those instructions are just aces, there is no way the lads are going to make a satisfactory pyramid, reckon there will be some unauthorised lad adjustments made to get it to look right Laughing

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 3:22 pm

Im disappointed Sad

Only 4x3 meters? I was expecting at least 10 meters wide! Go big or go home!

EDIT: Successive is proper spelling. See page 5 of manual.

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 3:26 pm

Sorry to dissapoint you there Rolling Eyes

BTW, that is the minimum dimensions. Of course, the bigger you build, the bigger the buck!

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 3:28 pm

Great stuff. Absolutey brilliant and funny as hell. Maybe you can get them to sit on the ground with their arms out like a pyramid. Then they can paint the brown eye on their foreheads. Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 3:40 pm

Or, a lad pyramid:

When I think of human pyramids I remember Monty Pythons Travel Agent sketch..

Quote:

And being herded into endless Hotel Miramars and Bellevueses
and Bontinentals with their International luxury roomettes
and draught Red Barrel and swimming pools full of fat German
businessmen pretending to be acrobats forming pyramids and
frightening the children and barging into the queues. And if
you're not at the table spot on 7 you miss your bowl of
Campbells Cream of Mushroom soup - the first item on the menu
of Internaional cuisine.

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