Woodentop Woodrow and Her Royal Highness

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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:09 pm

Dear Mr Enema Igwebuike

Many thanks for your note and nice remarks. I do hope things go well in your little country and you soon get what you deserve from us. When you see Mr Kucker, assuming you have not done so already, kindly give him our regards.

Best wishes

Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco, Stewardess of Llareggub, Prioress of Lotto,
Room 101
The Royal Les Dawson Suite
Kensington Doss House,
Buckingham
London
FU2 GlT
44 870 751 5170

>From: Chukwuemeka-Chibuzo Igwebuike <[email protected]>
>To: Princess Margaret <[email protected]>
>Subject: From Mr Emeka Igwebuike=06=04=2006
>Date: Thu, 6 Apr 2006 03:40:55 -0700 (PDT)
>> Hello Her Highness.
> I am very happy to hear from you.My contact with you is a blessing.
> I am ready to send the international passport along with Uche to Mr Tossov.
> I will reach him shortly.
> I will reach Dr Kucker today to get the funds on behalf of WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE.
> Over here we are grateful for your effort.I am also going to meet you soon.
> I have always planned to be in U.K .
> Great Britain is our colonial masters.We always look up to them for positive things in life.
> I will write more later on.
> Hope to hear from you.
> Regards
> Mr Emeka Igwebuike
>

Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:15 pm

6th April 2006

Dear Mr Igwebuike,

Dr Kucker can be contacted directly on his private mobile number which has been set to receive calls from all over the world. It is 0906 6611911.

Yes, I have spoken to him and he is waiting for you or Mr Woodrow to contact him. If his private line is busy call him at the Federal Palace Hotel, Lagos. If he is unavailable speak to his personal assistant Mr Mike Cocksmall.

Yours sincerely,

MELODIE FENWICK
CHAVSTER,MANFRED & NEWMAN MERCHANT BANK INTERNATIONAL PLC
:

Chukwuemeka-Chibuzo Igwebuike <[email protected]> wrote:
Hi Melodie
Thanks for the email
I will contact Dr. Kucker today.
How did you know about Nigeria so well?
I will make sure Dr. Kucker is happy whenever he's around.
Do you have any diurect contact phone to reach Dr. Kucker?
Have you spoken with him?
Regards
Yours Faithfully
Mr Chukwuemeka Igwebuike

Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:23 pm

Dear Brant

I must admit this message came as rather of a surprise. I was in fact half way out of the door to this evenings much anticipated reception for the Royal Smegaroon Dance Troop (recently back from a sell out tour in Siberia) when I find this alarming communication. I do so hate having to wake the servants to just dictate a few lines back, but there it is I suppose.

Now then. I am amazed that you have not yet encountered Mr Kucker. I do hope that this is not some sort of prank on your part. I am waiting to hear back from my staff as to Mr Kucker's confirmed whereabouts and his exact room number, as I was assured he was indeed staying in that hotel. Are you sure that you are at the right place? I know in the dark out there it can be hard to locate places and what not.

In any case I hope to have matters of his locale confirmed shortly, and no doubt in any case you will have better news for me. I am sure this is just a slight mix up.

Kind regards

MARGARET

Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco, Stewardess of Llareggub, Prioress of Lotto,
Room 101
The Royal Les Dawson Suite
Kensington Doss House,
Buckingham
London
FU2 GlT
44 870 751 5170

>From: "Brant Woodrow" <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: RE: to Mr Woodrow
>Date: Thu, 06 Apr 2006 14:01:03 +0000
>
>Hello Her Highness
>
>Goodafternoon
>
>We could not reach Dr. Kucker.
>
>Kindly make enquiry about his whereabouts in Nigeria.
>
>He is supposed to be at The Federal Palace Hotel Lagos.
>
>The Customer service said no person with such name ever visited.
>
>Hope to hear from you.
>
>Yours Sincerely
>
>Brant Woodrow
>
>WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE

Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 10:45 am

7 April 2006

Dear Mr Igwebuike,

Thank you for your e-mail. Are you certain that Dr Kucker was not staying at the Federal Palace Hotel ? I am most surprised - perhaps he was just not at the Hotel when you called. He must be staying with Mr Ojokwu although I am somewhat concerned that this office has not been informed of his change of plan as I have not been able to contact Dr Kucker on his personal mobile.

I will contact you as soon as I have more news.

Yours sincerely,

MELODIE

Chukwuemeka-Chibuzo Igwebuike <[email protected]> wrote:
Hello MELODIE FENWICK
Thanks for the email
Dr. Kucker did not lodge at the Federal Palace.
What is happening?
tell him to call me on phone 234-80-37906437
I'll be expecting to hear from you.
Regards
Chukwuemeka Igwebuike

Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 1:10 pm

7 April 2006

Dear Mr Igwebuike,

I am also worried about Dr Kucker who are at present is not answering his mobile telephone.

Therefore I have asked Mr Lampard at the British High Commission if he could assist me to tracing him. I will let you know as soon as I have some news.

Yours sincerely,

MELODIE FENWICK

Chukwuemeka-Chibuzo Igwebuike <[email protected]> wrote:
DEAR MELODIE FENWICK
HOW IS THE MORNING OVER THERE?
I AM NOT SURE Dr. KUCKER IS IN NIGERIA.
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
WHY HAVEN'T HE CHECKED HIS EMAIL?
MAKE EFFORT TO REACH HIM.
I AM ASSUMING HE WILL FLY BACK ON SUNDAY OR MONDAY.
TODAY IS ALREADY FRIDAY.
KEEP ME INFORMED.
REGARDS
CHUKWUEMEKA

Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 8:02 pm

7 April 2006

Dear Mr Igwebuike,

I regret to inform you that Dr Kucker was taken to the IagoSmart Hospital, Victoria Island, Lagos on Wednesday night. Irt appears he was riding in a taxi which was hi-jacked and his briefcase, wallet, watch and other personal items were stolen by the robbers who also hit him over the head with an iron bar.

The briefcase contained the $US 9,300 which HRH Princess Margaret had allocated to you.

I understand that Dr Kucker has recovered well from his ordeal and is to be discharged very shortly but he is cutting short his visit to Nigeria and is returning home this evening.

We will have to make other arrangements for the transfer of Her Royal Highness's donation. The British High Commission has informed her of the situation and no doubt she will be discussing how next to proceed early next week.

Yours sincerely,

Melodie
Chavster, Manfred & Newman Merchant Bank International PLC

Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 3:25 pm

Mr Woodrow,

I am not sure I understand or appreciate this somewhat brusque tone you have suddenly taken. Here is my representative and acquaintance, poor Mr Kucker, having undergone a terrible ordeal in your wretched country and you expect me to reply as if absolutely nothing had happened? I am quite in shock. You can imagine the distress this whole incident has caused here, and the consternation amongst Mr Kucker's close friends and colleagues. If perhaps your countrymen had more respect for visiting diplomats instead of crawling out of some badly painted shanty town to rob and abuse them at the first opportunity, then your business would have been completed to full satisfaction by now.

While Mr Kucker recuperates the best he can, we are trying to see what else can be done in the meantime. You will appreciate that I have lost a little of my previous appetite for this business. In fact, so disturbed was I by this sudden turn of events that I lost 3 games of whist last night on the trot when playing with Her Majesty and could hardly face the custard creams sent up by cook at the games close.

I suggest that you appreciate the turmoil this has set upon this matter now. Better still, a bunch of flowers and some native sweetmeats (none of your animal brains and what not though) sent to my representative's bed side might be more apposite, certainly more than your current manner, which has pleased me not a jot.

MARGARET

Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco, Stewardess of Llareggub, Prioress of Lotto,
Room 101
The Royal Les Dawson Suite
Kensington Doss House,
Buckingham
London
FU2 GlT
44 870 751 5170

>From: "Brant Woodrow" <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: WHAT IS HAPPENING
>Date: Sat, 08 Apr 2006 07:59:44 +0000
>Path: [email protected]
>
>
>Hello Her Highness
>
>I am surprised on your silence.
>
>read the email below
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>Fri, 7 Apr 2006 15:18:30 +0100 (BST)
>
>From:
> "Joe Kucker" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
>Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.co.uk. Learn more
>
>Subject:
>Re: DR JOSEPH KUCKER apr 7
>
>To:
>"Chukwuemeka-Chibuzo Igwebuike" <[email protected]>
>
>
>7 April 2006
>
>
>Dear Mr Igwebuike,
>
>
>I regert to inform you that Dr Kucker was taken to the IagoSmart Hospital, Victoria Island, Lagos on Wednesday night. Irt appears he was riding in a taxi which was hi-jacked and his briefcase, wallet, watch and other personal items were stolen by the robbers who also hit him over the head with an iron bar.

Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 7:32 pm

From: Chukwuemeka-Chibuzo Igwebuike <[email protected]>
To: Joe Kucker <[email protected]>
Subject: Mail
Sent: Saturday, April 8, 2006 7:56 AM

Dear Melodie
It seems you're joking with me.
How can you make such comment?
You should stop the correspondence
Emeka

Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 3:31 pm

Dear Mr Woodrow (or what ever your name is)

We are disappointed that you and your friends have stopped writing to us - especially as so many others, besides myself and all the other ficticious characters here that is - have enjoyed your stupid attempts at working a scam online throughout. In order to improve our disservice to mugu conmen like yourself whereever they come from, please answer and return the following questionnaire - at your inconvenience naturally.

1. I am an inept conman working a crime out of:

a. Nigeria
b. The Gambia
c. Another African Country
d. I can't see out of my cell window

2. My intelligence is:

a. indifferent
b. uncertain
c. mugu

3. I believed that I was really talking to a dead member of the British royal family

a. From the start
b. For most of the time
c. You mean I was not?

4. The time spent making a fool of myself was

a. Considerable
b. Annoying
c. Costly
d. Embarrassing
e. All four [we hope]

5. My friends now think I am:

a. Stupid
b. Naive
c. Dead, when they catch up with me

6. I would recommend the disservice I have received to:

a. My gang master
b. Those many hundreds now laughing at me on line
c. Those law enforcement officials who may well be contacting me shortly

7. The chances of my realising that what I am doing is a crime and that I am a pathetic criminal are:

a. Good
b. Better than even
c. As long as my prison sentence will surely be

Please return your completed entry to my office within 2 days to receive $65,000,000 in gold bullion packed in trunk boxes (upon receipt of the usual demurrage, of course)

Goodbye Mr Woodrow

No best wishes for the future at all.

'MARGARET'

Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco, Stewardess of Llareggub, Prioress of Lotto,
Room 101
The Royal Les Dawson Suite
Kensington Doss House,
Buckingham
London
FU2 GlT
44 870 751 5170

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