My first trophy - tattoo *update* 99% published

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 12:01 pm

More nice work, cuervo. Very Happy

Three great trophies in the bag from one lad with your first go is awesome work. clapping

Now, how about that safari? Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 12:15 pm

@ Eight
Sounds good to me! Dunc4n is waiting for his shipment and donation now, but the church board members are away on business, and the folks in the church accounting department are fairly incompetent, and will probably send the laptop, hymnals and MG to Ghana, and with the FBI investigation into Rev. K4rl's death, I doubt that anyone will have the time to go stop the shipment and re-route it to Senegal Shocked

Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 12:25 pm

It's a hat trick alright! Way to go! Damn, what are you going to do for a follow up?

Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 12:34 pm

mugumogambo wrote:

Damn, what are you going to do for a follow up?

I've already got one working, two actually , and the modalities are already in place to insure that they come off hitch-free (my fingers crossed) Wink

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 07 Mar 2006 Posts: 88

I thought that n6nw, when inverted, bears a closer resemblance to "mugu", as sompared to n8nw.

Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 10:18 pm

stopwar, that's a really good idea .... except that sorryrat

sorryrat wrote:

Great work! Twisted Evil

I wonder if "n 6 n w" would be to obvious for the lads. Cool

and BarneyG

BarneyG wrote:

Shouldn't the sign say: instead of ?

beat you to it. Laughing

And cuervo's on it already. Twisted Evil

jose_cuervo wrote:

In the future though, I am going to try to lad-proof my modality and use a 6 in place of the 8 in case the same situation arises, although my church will have to trim some more fat out of the 10 commandments to get them down to 6 Very Happy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 28 Feb 2006 Posts: 59

You can use my 6 commandments...
#1. Don't be a dick.
#2. Don't be a dick.
#3. Don't be a dick.
#4. Don't be a dick.
#5. Don't be a dick.
#6. Remember the Courtesty Flush.

Master Baiter Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 186 Location: GA

OMG...

Two friggin' humongerous tattoos!

"Welcome to 'scared straight,' where scammers get tough love served to them by what they think are their victims. Tonight's special contestant..."

Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:18 pm

Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:06 pm

Well it looks like it's all over but the crying for my friend Duncan. Here's the bait in it's entirety with the exception of the final curses I hope to be receiving soon! Very Happy

No time-frame available for the first few emails between Duncan and iMike�s character, but I included it here to give the background for my bait.

Apparently Brother Duncan was very impressed with fellow baiter Arthur Daley�s Horizon Pathway Church website (no longer in existence?) and decided to contact fellow baiter iMike, who in turn passed him off to me. Here are the initial emails between iMike and Duncan �Lucky� Wilkins (love that middle name!)

Quote:

From: Duncan
To: iMike

Dearest,
I'm very, very happy contacting you. I know you don't know me but happen to find your e-mail address from the guest book of the "HORIZON PATHWAY CHURCH" My name is Lucky Wilkins, i need an assistance from you as my mum is very ill and I've last my dad a result of the war that fail from my country some years back in Sierra Leone. I don't know if you can help me but if you know you can please do as I'm in badly need os assistance from you.

Hoping I'm not becoming a problem to you in any way? As you do, God will bless you forever.. Hoping to hear from you soon God willing.

Bye with love,
Lucky.

From: iMike
To: Duncan

Duncan, my son
I was sad to hear of your plight. How may I assist? Know ye that the LORD will help those who are righteous.

From: Duncan
To: iMike

Dear Sir,
Greetings in the name of the Almighty Lord. I feel very, very wanted with you� short and wonderful reply. I�m happy today we still have people like you in the word, do you know I�ve send a lot of mails for help but to no avail. I pray God will touch your heart so that you can see me through all this pains after so many years of war and hard ship. Sir, my mum is due for an operation within now and next week Wednesday and the only chance I�ve for her to be alive is if I can raise money for the operation and that is the reason I contacted you.
She is due for kidney transplant operation within now and Wednesday Sir. The cost for the operation to keep her back to her feet will cost about $17,000 USD and that is my problem for now Sir. I�ve tried all I could but to no avail, please Sir I�m begging you in the name of the LORD that you and I believe to help with anything so that my mum will not die and I becoming an orphan Sir. After so many years of war and suffering she is all I got because there is no father and brother today but she alone.
I want to believe as it is written in the book of 1st king 17 v 1:7 when God sent the RAVEN bird to Elijah to feed him in the time of draught in the land so shall my God sent forth a RAVEN to you. I want to see you too as that RAVEN bird that God has send to see my mum and I through Sir. I also want to use this medium to ask you about the �HORIZON PAHTWAY CHURCH�, I see the church as very interesting after going through the website of the church. I want to ask if it can be possible for you to make me one of your members? All I�m asking for Sir, if there is anything you can do for me to save my mums life please do it for me I�m on my kneels Sir. I hope this mail finds you in God health! Hoping to hear from you soon Sir God willing.
Your�s son,
Duncan.

From: Duncan
To: iMike

Dear Sir,
How was your church service today? I just feel i should know how far about you and your family and still too at the same time remind you of my plight please. Note I'm not asking for all the money from you Sir but to help me with what ever you feel will be OK for you to give to me please.
I don't want my mum to die now please i do beg of you Sir. Like i said before, the operation is due for Wednesday Sir. I'm on my kneels help me please i don't want to be an orphan please Sir. God bless you as I'll be waiting patiently for your reply Sir.
Yours son,
Duncan

From: iMike
To: Duncan

Duncan, I am sorry I haven't replied to your email sooner, but I have been attending bible study classes. Unfortunately, I am not one of the Church Elders and therefore I cannot assist you to become a member. I am also very poor. However, I have spoken to one of our senior clergy named Karl. I have told him of your plight and he has said he may be able to help you become enlightened, and may be able to assist with funding for your mother. I would urge you to contact him as soon as possible. His email address is [email protected]. I do hope your dear mother can hang on a little longer. May god go with you.

Gusty.

Duncan contacts Reverend Karl.

Quote:

Date: Wed, 8 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Reverend Karl
Subject: God bless you sir!

Dear Sir,
Greetings in the name of the Lord. How is the work of the church going? I happen to get your mail id from one of the members of your church name Mr Gusty. First let me introduce myself to you, my name id Duncan Wilkins from Sierra Leone I�m the boy that the mother is very, very sick and want to under go kidney trans plant operation. I don�t really know what to say here than to tell you that her operation is due but due to lake of funds it has been pending sir. I don�t know if you can help me see what you can do for my mum since now that I don�t have a father that would taken care of this for me.

I�m living in a refuge camp here and my mum always in the hospital sir. The operation why due for today but there was no way I could meet up to the demands of the hospital. I don�t know but only pleading for your assistance sir. If there is any thing you can do for me to save a situation I�ll be very, very happy and be grateful to God Almighty all my life seeing my mother alive again. I�ll also like to become a member of your church if you can assist me on this line too I�ll most happy too sir. I�ll be waiting to hear from you sir God willing.

Regards,
Duncan.

Rev. Karl is deeply moved, but unable to help poor Duncan because he is not a member of Rev. Karl�s church. The first few letters were pretty much cut and paste from Shiver�s baits, so I won�t post them (to move this along).

I tend to use caps on words to make them look important/official so please forgive me (I use the lad modality against them)

Quote:

Date: Wed 08 Mar 2006
From: Reverend Karl
To: Duncan
Subject: RE: God bless you sir!

Dear brother Duncan,

INSERT SHIVER MODALITY HERE (tattoo changed to n8nw)

God bless,
Reverend Karl Childers
n8nw Ministries

Damn, the Shiver modality reels them in! I�ve read his tattoo baits, but didn�t realize how effective they could be. I am definitely a believer now!

Quote:

Date: Thu 09 Mar 2006 07:14:45 AM EST
From: Duncan
To: Reverend Karl
Subject: RE: God bless you sir!

Dear Reverend Karl Childers,
Happy hearing from you today sir, I'm happy you could at list reply my mail irrespective of the fact that you don't know me and have not seen me before now. My mother is for sure in serious need of financial assistance so if becoming a member of your church as long it is the work of God why I'll most be happy to become a mermber. All i do ask from you now, is to give me a guard line how to become a member of this wonderful work of God.

I don't want my mum to die, so by the grace of God I'll like to become a member of this wonderful house of God to keep my mum alive Reverend Karl. Can you please tell me how to go about the induction procedure? I'll be most happy and waiting to hear from you soon sir, of course i want to be a member and that was the reason i ask you in my first ever mail to you to tell me how to become a member of your church sir. Hoping to hear from you again soon God willing.

Regards,
Duncan.

Date: Thu 09 Mar 2006
From: Reverend Karl
To: Duncan
Subject: RE: God bless you sir!

Dear Brother Duncan,

Thank you very much for your kind email.

INSERT SHIVER�S MODALITY HERE (tattoo changed to n8nw)

Thank you again for your email.

God be with you,
Reverend Karl Childers
n8nw Ministries

I had to travel out of town, and didn�t really want to mess with Duncan, so I applied the ignore modality around this time in the bait. Duncan works himself into a frenzy, and Rev Karl gets inundated with multiple emails (3 of this one - same message, same subject). I didn�t post them for obvious reasons.

Quote:

Date: Fri 10 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Reverend Karl
Subject: URGENT!

Dear Reverend Karl Childers,
I got your mail with all my heart and do accept to the conditions and willing to take care of man kind and do the work of God. After this mark n8nw, what else do i do? If i may ask, how do i send the picture of the tattoo to you? Is it by scanning them to you and how many pictures do i need to take as a proof? Is the tattooing the induction procedure? So when do I've to do this? Come up and tell me all I've to do so that i can move on to become a member. I want to ask a question why the mark? What is the significant of the mark as a tattoo? Why the tattoo? Please i need all this answers from you please.

Is the photographic proof of the tattoo mark of n8nw, all one need to become a completed induction member? What is the meaning of the mark n8nw? I'll like to know all this in full sir. As you can see, I've agreed to all you said as long as there will be no pain and purely of God. I'll be waiting to hear from you by tomorrow so that i can start up immediately Reverend Karl Childers.

Regards,
Duncan.

Duncan fires off another salvo of identical emails. And looky, he works Saturdays too! (5 total this day)

Quote:

Date: Sat 11 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Reverend Karl
Subject: RE: God bless you sir!

Dear Reverend Karl Childers,How are you today Reverend Karl Childers? I just feel i should send my greetings to you and remind you of my mothers health and the induction procedure. Please, i want you to get back to me as soon as possible so that i can complete my induction procedure. Sir, i hope all my questions will be answered? God take good care of you and the good work of the church and your commitment towards the work of the Almighty God. I'm looking very forward to complete this Reverend Karl Childers. Hoping to hear from you soon.

Regards,
Duncan.

Duncan lets fly with another barrage of identical emails, notice the subject line (4 of this one)

Quote:

Date: Tue 14 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Reverend Karl
Subject: I'm waiting patiently sir!!!!

Dear Reverend Karl Childers,
Greetings in the name of the Lord. I was expecting to hear from you before now but to no avail. I'm ready now, but have to hear from you and how to send the picture of the Ministry mark to you. Once this informations are pass to me I'll immediately send you the picture of the tattoo mark on my body and the picture proof to you. But through what means? And for me to know what next to do. Hoping to hear from you soon God willing.

Regards,
Duncan.

Duncan changes his message and only flings this new one twice (for a grand total of 6 today)

Quote:

Date: Tue 14 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Reverend Karl
Subject: RE: God bless you sir!

Dear Sir,
Where can i get the induction form? I need all this to move ahead please!!!!!!!

Reverend Karl finally answers Duncan. It wasn�t getting late; I was just enjoying watching Duncan squirm.

Quote:

Date: Tue 14 Mar 2006
From: Reverend Karl
To: Duncan
Subject: RE: God bless you sir!

Brother Duncan,
I please accept my apologies for not contacting you sooner. I have just returned from a Church sponsored retreat, and was unable to access my email. I have been very busy, but I have not forgotten about you. It is getting late here, but I will contact you tomorrow and forward the requisite forms as well.

Remain Blessed,
Reverend Karl Childers
n8nw Ministries

Duncan is ecstatic, and has taken the initiative to get the tattoo without full instructions! Lads should always be reprimanded for failure to follow instructions. There are no extra points for ass-kissing mugus in Karl�s church. This will come into play a bit later.

Quote:

Date: Wed 15 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Reverend Karl
Subject: RE: God bless you sir!

Dear Reverend Karl Childers,Thanks for your apology!! I will be waiting patiently for the form, but mean while I'll be going ahead with the tattoo mark. I'll beputting on the tattoo by tomorrow by the grace of God. Please note once this is done, I'll be sending you the pictures immediately Reverend Karl Childers.Hope to receive the form latest tomorrow morning. Mean while you're welcome from your trip, hope you still have my mother at heart Reverend Karl Childers? Hoping to hear from you soon God willing.
Regards,
Duncan.

Date: Wed 15 Mar 2006
From: Reverend Karl
To: Duncan
Subject: RE: God bless you sir!

Dear Brother Duncan,

Thank you so much for your patience.

INSERT SHIVER�S MODALITY HERE (changed tattoo to n8nw)

God be with you,
Reverend Karl Childers
n8nw Ministries

Duncan is off to the ink shop with a smile on his face and a spring in his step that only a cash donation can bring! At first, I�m extremely skeptical, and already planning the mother-of-all-slaps for a fake tattoo.

Quote:

Date: Wed 15 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Reverend Karl
Subject: RE: God bless you sir!

Dear Reverend Karl Childers,
Thanks for your wonderful explanation sir, I'll be sending the first face of the tattoo pictures to you by tomorrow than 24hours later I'll send the second face of the pictures to you as instructed sir. You can go ahead inviting the the board members together because by the grace of God I'll be sending the first face of the mark tattoos to you sir. I hope to do my best and bring the church to wider Africans if given the support needed.

I want you to advice me if the pictures should be send together at the same time. Is this the induction form you're talking about? I've a little worries sir, and my worries are, you don't reply to my mails as early as expected sir. Can you tell me the meaning of the logo n8nw? I'll like to know as a new member sir if possible, You promise sending some pictures to me but to no avail. You made mention of coming to the states, how can this be possible? Are going to get me a visa to come over? Well till that time! I think the first step is to become an inducted member first.

Like i said, I'll be starting the first face" of the induction procedure by taking the mark of the tattoo on my choose part. Hoping to hear from you soon God willing.

Regards,
Duncan.

Duncan wants an explanation of the n8nw tattoo. I thought it prudent to come up with a more benign explanation than �mugu upside-down� so I had to wing it. Actually I was a little glad to do this because using Shiver�s script up to this point was making me feel somewhat lad-ish! I broke out the online Latin translator and a � pound of bullshit and came up with this�

Quote:

Date: Wed 15 Mar 2006
From: Reverend Karl
To: Duncan
Subject: RE: God bless you sir!

Brother Duncan,

Once again, I find myself asking you to accept my deepest apologies for not answering your merited questions in a timely manner. I have very little help with all of the new programs that our Ministry is developing, and I have been interviewing Accounts Managers to help in addition to all of my normal Reverendly functions in our Church. I have performed six Baptisms, four Weddings and a Funeral, and preached two Sermons since my return from the retreat over the weekend.

In answer to your question about the n8nw Ministries tattoo...

The first n stands for the Latin word nota (meaning : mark, token, note, sign.)

The 8 is for 8 Commandments which we adhere to in lieu of the 10 Commandments adhered to by most other "less enlightened" Churches
The 8 Commandments in which we believe are:

1. You shall have no other gods before the LORD God Almighty.

2. "You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain: for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain."

3. "Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy, as the LORD your God commanded you. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work; but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God"

4. "Honor your father and your mother�

5. "You shall not murder."

6. "You shall not steal."

7. "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."

8. �You shall not desire your neighbor's house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his ass, or anything that is your neighbor's."

The second n stands for the Latin word nuntius (meaning : messenger, message.)
And the w stands for the English word world (meaning : the earth with its inhabitants and all things upon it)

In short n8nw means "Our mark of the 8 Commandments is our message to the world"

Brother Duncan, as for coming to the United States, we will be able to obtain visas for you as a member of the Clergy. I personally do not know how all of this works, but we have members from other countries that come to our Church meetings frequently without any problems.

Additionally, you will need to provide me with details for payment of our donation.

Thank you again for your patience, and God Bless!
Reverend Karl Childers
n8nw Ministries

HOLY SH*T!!! This is in my inbox first thing in the morning! I almost spit my coffee all over my laptop! 15 high-res pics (in 3 emails), and an old fashioned single needle tattoo! (pictures previously posted in this thread)

Quote:

Date: Thu 16 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Reverend Karl
Subject: Part one of the pictures

Dear Reverend Karl Childers
Thanks for your explanation, I've been able to come to teams with the church and willing to go by the 8 commandment. I was with the tattoo man today in his home as early as possible to get the tattoo mark done on me to enable me become a member of this wonderful church. Attach herein are some of the pictures as promised by me. By tomorrow, that is after 24hours I'll be sending the last face of the pictures to you as a proof of my tattoo mark.

Note, if there is any question you which to ask me you're very, very free to do so. I'll do my best in this part of the world to make sure members are brought to God Almighty. In short I've already started telling people about the good work of our church.
Once the pictures are approved, my donations should be send to me through "WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER" because it is the only means I've here to pick up money. I'll also send the receipt of the tattoo to you bytomorrow. It was not available as at the time the tattoo was been done because he did it at home not in his office because of the appointment he hard with others today. Hoping to hear from you soon God willing.

Regards,
Duncan.

Date: Thu 16 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Reverend Karl
Subject: RE: God bless you sir! Second face of the picturs

Dear Sir,
I'm very, very happy for the concern shown so far for me. God bless and reward you abundantly!!!!!!

Regards,
Duncan

Date: Thu 16 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Reverend Karl
Subject: RE: God bless you sir!

Dear Rev,
This are the last face of the pictures, i promise to send the other once after 24hours is done. I do keep to my words, and i want to say to you again God bless you for seeing me through this induction procedure. I'll be waiting patiently to hear from you soon. Please note when sending my donations, you should please tell me what will be the next step to the church and things we need to be doing here. The name to use is DUNCAN WILKINS when sending my donations through "WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER".

I hope with this I'm on course with the work of the Almighty God. I'll be waiting patiently for your reply today.

Regards,
Duncan.

Now I know what a lad feels like as he�s running to WU at breakneck speed dodging cars and goats� PAYDAY! I immediately fire off a PM to Eight, and start posting in the pictures forum. Duncan gets the congrats letter much, much later in the day, I�m too busy hitting the refresh button on my post to be troubled by a mugu. Besides, he did botch the tat a bit and I need time to figure out how to deal with that.

Quote:

Date: Thu 16 Mar 2006
From: Reverend Karl
To: Duncan
Subject: Congratulations Brother Duncan!

Dear Brother Duncan,

I am very pleased that you have completed the initial induction process! I have already forwarded the first set of photographs to the Review Board members for verification, and I am most certain that they will be pleased as well!

I would like to unofficially welcome you as the newest member of our congregation, and we will hold a small celebration in your honor at the services this evening! If the Review Board has favorable findings regarding your induction, I will notify you immediately!

Please do stay in touch with me, and let me know if you hear from the Review Board before I do, as they may be inclined to contact you directly.

Remain Blessed Brother Duncan!
Reverend Karl Childers
n8nw Ministries

Duncan is excited, as well he should be. He�s the first lad in recorded history (to my knowledge) to have a �mugu� tattoo!

Quote:

Date: Thu 16 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Reverend Karl
Subject: I'm happy too Reverend Karl Childers!

Dear Reverend Karl Childers,
I'm happy hearing from you again, I'm happy you've congratulated me in the first step of the induction procedure today. Thanks for forwarding the pictures to them in time, and like you've said, I'll inform you once I'm contacted by them before you immediately sir. Sorry, how can they contact me when they them self don't have my mail address? Did you give my email contact to them?

Well be it as it may, I'm very, very happy to be a member of this wonderful church before hand.

I'll get back to you as promised and make sure the second step and set of the induction pictures are send to you by tomorrow after 24hours as directed by you.Less i forget, you did promise to send me some pictures! I want to ask if this our wonderful church don't have a website? If yes is your answer can I've it?

I wish to say thanks again to you for your concern and theencouragement given to me by you in the first place. Hoping to hear from you soon God willing.

Regards,
Duncan.

Now to answer Duncan�s questions. I add ominous overtones of Reverend Karl�s impending death, and the review board�s dissatisfaction with his tattoo. I have decided that since he botched the 8 in the tattoo, I should convince him to correct it in some way and since Eight is my mentor� Duncan also wants some pictures of other church members with the tattoo, so I asked Nurse Nasty for a bit of Photoshop help. I have to keep Duncan contented since I am going to attempt the second tattoo.

Quote:

Date: Fri 17 Mar 2006
From: Reverend Karl
To: Duncan
Subject: RE: I'm happy too Reverend Karl Childers!

Brother Duncan,

I have forwarded your email address along with the initial set of photographs to the Review Board members, and I am happy to say that they have mostly been well received. I would like to commend you on your photographs as they are of a very high quality, and they further prove your serious commitment to our Church.

I am sorry to say that we do not have a website for our Church, and this issue has been a source of great debate at our annual meetings. I personally believe that we should have one to further our message to those who would otherwise not have access to it. However, a lot of other members believe that maintaining a website would require taking money from the budgeted allowances of our other programs that offer direct aid to some or our more needy members. Therefore it has been decided that at the present time, our funds should be used for the greater good, as opposed to mere advertising. I will try to have one of the younger members of our church scan in some of our pamphlets though and email them to you for your perusal.

As for the pictures, I would again ask you to accept my apologies. My memory is not as good as it used to be, and I have forgotten which pictures you have asked for? Please do remind me, and I will send them as soon as I can.

It is so nice to know that though I am an old man now, I turned 83 years old last November; there are good young people who will be around to continue the good work of the Church long after I have met my Final Reward!

It is getting late here, and I am very tired from all of the excitement of the week!

Remain in His good graces, young Duncan,
Reverend Karl Childers
n8nw Ministries

Duncan sends the 24 hour pics with no cajoling, and has gotten the hint that Rev. Karl may not be long for this world! I love a lad that can read between the lines. Notice that there is no mention of the sick mum for the last few days? (pictures previously posted in this thread)

Quote:

Date: Fri 17 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Reverend Karl
Subject: Pictures after 24hours Reverend Karl Childers!

Dear Sir,
Happy hearing from you again sir, as promise, I'm sending the face two of the pictures to you now. Note, one of this pictures was from yesterdays snap. Other pictures are pictures of after 24hours sir, I've kept my word to make do with every opportunity given to me by this wonderful church. Please note, if there is any other thing, do let me know sir. I never knew you're this old sir, did i hear you say 83years? What about your children sir? Are they with you in the church doing the work of the Almighty God with you?

Ooh the pictures, the once you promised to send to me, pictures of other member showing there own tattoo. That is the pictures you promised sending to me sir, I'll be very, very happy too if i can get the pamphlets of our church sir. Can you tell me more about the activities of our church?

Thanks for the commendation given to the pictures i did send to you, I'llalways do my best to see how the word of God will be heard by all are sundry in Jesus name. Hoping to hear again from soon sir, have a rest and take good care of yourself for me.

Regards and God bless you,
Duncan

Duncan is still working Saturdays, and the ignore modality still seems to work well (2 emails sm/ss)

Quote:

Date: Sat 18 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Reverend Karl
Subject: RE: I'm happy too Reverend Karl Childers!

Dear Reverend Karl Childers,
Greetings in the name of the Lord. Hope all is well with you? I was expecting to hear from you or the board member but to no avail. Did you receive the last pictures i send to you? Please sir, I'll like to hear from you, to enable me know my faith and the verdict of the board members. I know you need rest please do have some because at your age you don't really need to be over workth. Like I've been saying before now, that I'm counting badly on you to see me through all this.

Hope you'll be sending the pictures i did ask from you to me in your reply? Do take good care of yourself and I'll be waiting patiently to hear from you soon God willing.

Regards,
Duncan.

Rev. Karl attempts to acclimate Duncan to the idea of a second tattoo. Nurse Nasty also did a great job on the Photoshopping, so a thank you is in order and I need to find a way to get Duncan to vote. This will come in to play later. I also need to cast a bad guy for future coercion and slapping in the event that Duncan mutinies at the request for a second tattoo. Deacon Wheatly is just the man for the job!

Quote:

Date: Sat 18 Mar 2006 10:11:55 PM EST
From: Reverend Karl
To: Duncan
Subject: Church review board

Dear Brother Duncan,

I hope all is well with you this glorious day!

I write to inform you that the Church review board is still in discussion of your bid for membership to our Church. There are four review board members, as I described to you in the course of our previous correspondence. Three of the review board members, Deacon N.N. Helfington, Deacon Vaughan Cunningham, and Deacon Anthony Sinclaire, have found in your favor, and wish to admit you into the fold immediately.

However there is one of the review board members, Deacon Frank Wheatley, who has some reservations to your admittance due to the configuration of the tattoo that you have received.

I personally am very upset by this unfortunate development, and have had heated discussions with Deacon Wheatley, and continue to argue with him on your behalf. I am presiding as the Moderator of the review board, and I can assure you that we will resolve this issue with due haste!

Deacon Wheatley believes that the tattoo is incorrect because the 8 is the same size as the other letters, and due to the fact that our faith is based on the 8 Commandments, that the 8 should be significantly larger than the the n nw, and should appear just as it appears typed out as... n8nw.

I the three other board members previously mentioned find your tattoo absolutely acceptable, and we are still in discussion with Deacon Wheatly, and will continue to advocate your immediate acceptance. Unfortunately, our founding Charter requires a unanimous decision from all four of the board members prior to complete and final acceptance of any new member. I, being the Moderator, am unable to vote on this issue.

The four board members and I will reconvene on Sunday evening, after Church services are finished, and stay in deliberation until this is resolved.

Please do not let this development discourage you Brother Duncan, as I believe this is merely political posturing on behalf of Deacon Wheatley, and we will be able to conclude this issue favorably very soon.

Deacon Wheatley causes me great aggravation, due to his political inspirations. I believe that there is no place for politics in the Church, and I have lost a lot of sleep over this whole affair due to Deacon Wheatley's shenanigans! But fear not, truth and compassion will prevail!

I was able to have one of our young members get some of the things that you asked for scanned in, and I am sending them to you as you asked.

Again Brother Duncan, I ask you to remain patient, as you have in the past, and we will have this resolved very soon.

Remain Blessed,
Reverend Karl Childers
n8nw Ministries

Duncan is now working Sundays! NO, NO, NO! This will just not do! And mum sends her greetings. He waited until today to tell his mum about the good Rev. Karl? Lets� hope that mum�s kidney holds out a bit longer!

Rev. Karl has a massive coronary.

Quote:

Date: Sun 19 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Reverend Karl
Subject: PLEASE HELP ME?

Dear Reverend Karl Childers,
How was your service today? I�m not happy with this development Rev! This was the reason I was asking you to send me the pictures and samples of the tattoo mark before I go ahead tattooing my body. Like you and I know, tattoo is an ever lasting mark. Please see what you can do for me, I need your help at this point and counting badly on your support and believing in the Almighty God that you�ll not fail me no matter what. I�ve the tattoo on me now and it is ever lasting on me this you know.
Have come in teams with the church, and will not and can�t go back on my word. So I want you to do same for me. Don�t forget I�m in now and a member!! It was not my fault the board members should note this. On your own, what do you advice I do at this stage? My tattoo is real not fake, I want you to help me fight my case to the end which I know you�ll do for me.
I�ve seen all you�ve send to me and will be reading through them till I hear from you later in the day. Note this Rev, I�ll not sleep until I get to hear a good news from your side. May the good LORD be with you and give you the strength to go through this and fight this for me.
Less I forget, I did told my mum about you today and she did extend her greetings to you.
Yours son,
Duncan.

Duncan is a bit impatient today! Let�s see how he takes the news, shall we?

Quote:

Date: Mon 20 Mar 2006 08:43:18 AM EST
From: Duncan
To: Reverend Karl
Subject: PLEASE DAD!!!

Dear Dad,
Please don't do this to me please i beg of you. I was expecting to hear from you yesterday as promised but to no avail. I'm waiting patiently for your mail please I'm on my kneels Dad.

Yours son,
Duncan.

To the previous message, Duncan gets the news of Rev. Karl�s death via automated response. But he doesn�t contact Deacon Wheatley� I wonder why?

Quote:

<<<Please do not reply to this automated response>>>

It is with great sorrow that I inform everyone, Reverend Karl Childers has passed away. Funeral services will be held on Tuesday, March 21. Seating will be limited due to the high number of people attending.

Anyone having outstanding business with the late Reverend Karl, should contact Deacon Frank Wheatley at the following address [email protected]

<<<Please do not reply to this automated response>>>

Enter Deacon Cunningham� and he has some bad news (as if Duncan didn�t know)

Quote:

Date: Mon Mar 20
From: Deacon Cunningham
To: Duncan
Subject: Reverend Karl has passed

Brother Duncan,

I am very sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but our beloved Reverend Karl Childers passed away on Saturday evening March 18, 2006. As you may know, Reverend Karl was 83 years old, so he lived a full and prosperous life, for this reason, you should not feel sorrow for reverend Karl, only sorrow for the loss of such a wonderful man.

Duncan, Reverend Karl was very fond of you and he spoke of you often, you were like a son that he never had. Do not worry about the arrangements that were made regarding your church membership, that will be taken care of and finalized within the next week or so, and I will take over where Reverend Karl left off.

I do need to know the arrangements that you and Reverend Karl agreed upon though, because he did not save any of the email correspondence that occurred between you and him. We will insure that all agreements made by Reverend Karl will be honored. Additionally, Reverend Karl made some changes to his Last Will and Testament recently, and you are mentioned therein. This will all be taken care of after the finalization of your induction to the Church.

Deacon Frank Wheatley had some concerns about your induction tattoo, however compromises were made prior to Reverend Karl�s passing that I am sure will be an acceptable solution for all of us. I will explain in further detail after Reverend Karl's Funeral services have been held.

Please do contact me at your earliest convenience, and as always, remain blessed.

Deacon Vaughan Cunningham,
n8nw Ministries

Duncan is wrought with grief, and blathers on about meaningless crap that I�ll surely have to answer without a slap. It�s time to play good-cop bad-cop. But we�ll ignore him for the moment. He even has the nerve to ask for a phone number! Also, in the subject, is he talking about the tattoo? I hope it�s not infected.

Quote:

Date: Tue Mar 21
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Cunningham
Subject: It is painful!

Dear Deacon Vaughan Cunningham,

Thanks for this news, but I must confess here that I find this news very, very hard to believe. Why did you say I should not feel sorry for the man that was suppose to be there for me? I don�t understand what is going on here forsure. I want a very good explanation please, I know for sure that death is inevitable but not now. Thanks for knowing that he is a wonderful father not man please, point of correction.

Did i hear you say you�ll take over just like that! How do you mean by the word take over? I did explain things to him and he did understood with me about the health of my mother and wanted to make sure he sees me through everything financially. But with this development I�m afraid what will come out of this. I�ve my tattoo on, you and I know it is ever lasting on me and some things have to be done about it. He gave me his word before hepassed on according to what you wrote me that he has passed on to mother earth. If you say, I�ll be waiting patiently to see how it will go. I�m worried for sure note this!

Well the arrangements I�ve with him is to become a member by having the tattoo on me first and some money will be send to me to take of my expanses. And that I should make sure, and be ready to spread the gospel of the church over here in Africa if I�m willing to do that. He told me after all this, I�ll be invited to the head breach of the church for yearlyconference. Do you want me to forward all the mails he send to me to you? I�ve them with me, he gave his word that he will do everything humanly possible to make sure everything works out well with me. Really he did, made changes on his Will and Testament in my favour? If you say so, I don�t have any reason to this believe you at this point. Now the big question is, when will my induction be finalize?
Why did Deacon FrankWheatley do that? What was his concern if I may ask? It is what I was told to do that I did. I was not given any picture as a sample but just the tattoo symbol which I did. So what ever comes up after then was not my fault. Fine if you say that compromises where made because of Rev. Karls passing away. Please, I�ll like you to send to me the funeral pictures of Rev. Karls and every other thing you feel will be of grate important to me in regards to his funerals. May his wonderful sole rest in perfect peace for ever��.Hoping to hear from you soon God willing.

Regards,
Duncan.

NB* Can have your phone number?

Deacon Cunningham coddles Duncan, and reinforces the need to vote for a new Moderator. Oh what a tangled web we weave� I told him the two candidates for Moderator here, and later in the bait I told him a different name and thought I had blown it. He actually calls me on it, but I blew him off and he didn�t push it (I�m still holding the donation).

Quote:

Date: Wed Mar 22
From: Deacon Cunningham
To: Duncan
Subject: RE: It is painful!

Brother Duncan,

I wanted to write you to answer your questions. Sorry for not contacting you sooner, but there were many arrangements to be made, and very little time to coordinate the funeral services and subsequent burial for Reverend Karl, God rest his soul.

When I said do not feel sorry for Reverend Karl, I meant that he has met his final reward, and is in Heaven now, so all of his earthly trials are over! I did not mean that you should not mourn his loss, sorry for the miscommunications on my part. As for death being inevitable, that is true. However I do not understand why you say not now? We as children of God have no say over when he is to call us. This is Gods plan and we must not question it. And yes indeed Reverend Karl was a wonderful man and we will miss him dearly.

As for taking over, again, I am sorry for the miscommunications. I will merely be attending to all of Reverend Karl's unfinished business within the Church. A vote will be held, next week, by all of our members to determine our new Reverend. Hopefully we will have the issues with your membership resolved by then, and you will be able to participate in selecting the new Leader of our faith!

Also, as you may know, Reverend Karl was the review board Moderator. Since his passing, we must be quick to appoint a new Moderator. Appointing a new Moderator is also crucial to the future of our Church during the up coming elections. The two candidates for Moderator are Deacon N.N. Helfington and Deacon Frank Wheatley, so please keep this in mind. If you complete your induction this week, you will be asked your choice of these two men for Moderator.

As for the compromises that were made regarding your induction, Deacon Wheatley was supposed to contact you. Has he not contacted you? Please let me know if he has not, and I will see to it that he does.

I will have one of the younger members of our church scan in some photographs of the public funeral services and of the private church burial ceremony. I also have a picture of Reverend Karl that I took just last week, and I thought you might like to have it, so I will send it as well.

Again, Brother Duncan, please contact me immediately if Deacon Wheatley has not yet got in touch with you, and I will insure that he does.

Remain Blessed,
Deacon Vaughan Cunningham
n8nw Ministries

Duncan wants to talk on the phone! I don�t feel like messing with him on k7. What to do? Ignore! Notice that Duncan is now using n8nw Ministries in his siggy? I seriously considered administering a slap because he�s not a full member yet, but let it slide.

Quote:

Date: Wed Mar 22
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Cunningham
Subject: I'll be waiting!

Dear Deacon Vaughan Cunningham,
Thanks for your mail and the responds to my questions! I�m happy at list that some one else is taking care of my case. Sorry, I did ask you for your phone number, but did not get it with the mail sent to me. I want to talk to you on phone; in your last mail to me, you did mention something about the Will of Rev, Karl and his Testimony. Tell me, why didn�t you made mention of it in this mail? I�m very, very sorry I�ve to ask all this questions because till thismoment I�ve not gain myself from the news of his death that is just the truth of it all. Please, don�t fail to send me the funeral pictures of Rev. Karl as promised by you. May his wonderful sole rest in perfect peace forever��

It�s OK, I�ve heard all you�ve explained here. No, I did not mention not this time in any of my mails to you, if there is anything like that maybe it was really a mistake because I don�t really have any reason to question God for taking away Rev. Karl. It is God that giveth and taketh. He did made mention of donations that will be send to me once my induction is been concluded. Are you aware ofthat?

Tell me, how will the vote be conducted? How can I cast my own vote? All this I intend knowing from you in your reply. Don�t forget to respond to my question in your reply because I�m part of the family now and suppose to know about the family and what is going on with our church. Rev. Karl, use to tell me all I needed knowing about all that is going on in the church when he was alive. The issue of my member ship is very, very important to me. He gave me his word before his passing on to mother earth, I hope nobody will seat on what he have in mind for me because he is no more. I�llbe most happy to do that, I mean participating on the selection of the new leader of our faith!

Yes, I know he was the board Moderator before his death. I think that is a good step because any church without a head will amount to not been functional. The names given to me here like you�ve mentioned have been done, that I should keep them in mind right? Once more, I�ll do my best and play my part so that this wonderful church can move forward forever� After my induction, what will be the next step? Note, I�ve not heard anything from DeaconWheatley. He has contacted me in any way or any time what so ever. I�ll be waiting patiently to hear from him soon God willing.

Good, I�ll be very, very happy if you can do this for me. Sending me all the funeral pictures through scan. Rev. Karl see me as a son with the mails I used to receive from him, he gave me his words about life and promise to help me out in any way he can as long as life is concern. I repeat, I want every pictures of the ceremony send to me through scan please note this and don�t forget this please. Note you also promised to send me the pictures you both took? For sure I want to have it, please send it I�mwaiting.

Deacon Wheatley have not yet contacted me, See what you can do about this issue for me in time. Note this, and don�t forget this either. I�m counting on you and hoping badly too on you to see me through what the late Moderator have promised me before his death.

You should remain blessed too,
Duncan.
n8nwMinistries

Enter Deacon Wheatley, strictly business and straight to the point. Time to apply a little pressure! No subject on the email - I�ve had lads complain about this before, I think it bothers them, so I�ll do it from time to time.

Quote:

Date: Thu 23 Mar 2006
From: Deacon Wheatley
To: Duncan
Subject: [No Subject]

Mr. Wilkins,

Deacon Vaughan Cunningham has asked me to contact you regarding the issues surrounding your induction process.

I am the Senior member of the church review board here at n8nw Ministries, and I have ruled against your admittance to our church on the basis of the size of the 8 in your tattoo. The reason for my decision should be clear to you, but I will explain it anyway.

The 8 Commandments are the foundation on which our church is based, and as such, should be given higher status in the mark. This is the reason that - as you should have noted, in all of our correspondence, logos, letterhead and photographs that were sent to you - the 8 is always the largest due to it's esteemed status, and the letters are in lower case.

You are not the first member of our church to make this error with applying the tattoo. Previous decisions by the review board have ruled that if a mistake is made in applying the tattoo, the review board has the authority to make an exception, or require corrective action to be taken.

************** NOTICE ***************

The tattoo that you have now should NOT be altered or covered in any way!!!

In your particular case, I have decided that corrective actions would be appropriate, and if you agree to this, I see no reason why we cannot have this issue resolved within the next few days, and welcome you to our church with all entitlements and privileges. As you may be aware, the review board requires that all four members agree on an applicant's admission requirements, or membership will be denied.

The review board has decided, at my request, that you shall be required to have the word Eight, just as it appears in this letter to you, tattooed right above your n8nw tattoo, and this will satisfy the requirements of the review board. Pictures will have to be submitted, as with the original tattoo, for acceptance and validation, and the church, along with the expenses for the original tattoo will pay for any additional expenses for the second tattoo. Additionally, the donation amount will be increased by 50% for your efforts.

Please let me know if this is acceptable to you as soon as possible, because the church is waiting for your decision, to vote for our new Moderator and Reverend. We need to vote very soon to appoint our new Spiritual Leader, and want you to be able to participate in the selection process. I will also need time to explain the voting process to you before the election is held, so time is of most importance now.

Remain Blessed,
Deacon Frank Wheatley
n8nw Ministries

Duncan complains a bit about the second tattoo, but quickly sees the light, thus narrowly avoiding a slap that would knock his mum out of her knickers. More whining about the phone number, and money for the new tattoo that he screwed up? I think not!

Quote:

Date: Fri 24 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Wheatley
Subject: Re:

Dear Deacon Frank Wheatley,
Greetings in the name of the Almighty God. Note I�ve heard so much about you in the past and very, very happy you�ve contacted me at last. In regards to my induction process, I want you to note this, it was never my fault in the first place; because I was not given sample of the tattoo before marking the tattoo to my body part. It was after the first proof have been sent by me before the sample came to me. Thetruth of the matter is that, I did not take a good look at it until I was told and I find out that it was true. All the same, the way forward is what I want because I�m already a partial member of the church because I do have the tattoo on me already.

Good since I�m not the first member this has occur to, and since I�ll not like to do same mistakes in regards to this, I do demand a pictures from the other members that have been corrected before my own to enable me take good look on there errors and correction before proceeding on the tattoo correction.

I�ve come to teams and have agreed to what you want me to do on this issue sir. The word Eight as it is written here right, I�ll do just that and forward the pictures to you as proof. There is one more issue I�ll like to point out here sir, before now, I was told after the inscription of the first tattoo my entitlements will be send to me but up till now, nothing have been done about it before the death of Rev. Karl some days back. Are you saying the correction have to be done before my donations send to me? I�ve come to acceptance to all you�ve said but please, I don�t want to make other mistakes andfor that reason, I�ll like to have the pictures of correction please. A decision have been taken and I�ve come to teams with all. I�ll be waiting patiently for the voting procedure of the new Moderator and Reverend from you in your reply. I�m waiting for explanation in regards to the voting process from you before the election time.

One more thing, can talk to you on phone? I�ll like having your phone number and pictures of the funeral of Reverend Karl please. He loved me like a child and Ifeel I do owe him this at list to have his pictures. If there is any other thing you fill I should know, please do let me know in your reply. Can I have some money for the new tattoo? Or after the tattoo? I want to know all this and the programs of the church I don�t have them at hand.

Regards,
Duncan.
n8nw Ministries

Time to sling a little bullshit and see if it sticks to anything� This lad is definitely high maintenance, and were it not for the hopes of a second tattoo and a Nurse Nasty vote, it would be a slap-fest extraordinaire.

Quote:

Date: Fri 24 Mar 2006
From: Deacon Wheatley
To: Duncan
Subject: Re:

Mr. Duncan,

Thank you for your letter. I am very happy that you will soon be a full member of our Church! I am trying to contact one of our members that had the corrections made to his tattoo so he can send me a photograph, and I hope to have it soon. I have however, attached a picture of how the corrected tattoo should look, should you wish to have the Eight on the same arm as your n8nw tattoo. Or you could simply have the word Eight tattooed on your right arm, and this would be completely acceptable.

I am sorry about the mistakes that were made regarding your first tattoo, however it must be corrected before you can become a full member. Unfortunately we are unable to release any funds until you become a full member, this is according to the rules of our Charter, and there can be no exceptions. To answer your question, yes the tattoo must be corrected before we can proceed. Additionally, the details of the donation amount and the items left to you in Reverend Karl's Will, can not be discussed until you are a full member of our church. However, I can say that due to 50% increase in the donation amount, and the personal items left to you by Reverend Karl, you will be very pleased!

Regarding phone contact, n8nw Ministries uses a computerized phone service. Our phones are on a network, so we do not have to pay for our calls, just the monthly service, which is paid for out of the Church administrative account at no cost to our members. This helps us to be able to save our money for more important Church projects. On completion of your induction, we will send you a laptop computer with all of the network software, encrypted and installed, to enable you to communicate on our secure network. Did Reverend Karl not explain all of this to you?

I will also need your current shipping address to get the laptop computer to you. Additionally we will be sending n8nw Hymnals and literature to help you start your n8nw Ministry there. I do not have your address in our records, and we have not been able to find it in any of Reverend Karl's records either. I also need to know this for processing your donation, and whether you wish to have the money directly deposited into your bank account, or receive it by other means. Please do get back to me with this information.

When I talked to Deacon Cunningham, he informed me that he would be sending you the photographs that you requested. I will talk to him and make sure that you get all of them, but I am attaching two of Reverend Karl's pictures. One was taken just a week ago for our annual news-letter, and the other one, is when he was about 20 years old and just a young Chaplain in the United States Navy during World War 2.

Remain Blessed,
Deacon Frank Wheatley
n8nw Ministries.

Two photos of Rev. Karl

Duncan is keeping Deacon Cunningham well informed. If he only knew�

Quote:

Date: Fri Mar 24
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Cunningham
Subject: Thanks!

Dear Deacon Vaughan Cunningham,
Greetings in the name of the LORD. Deacon Wheatley sent me a mail yesterday explaining to me what to do and how to go about things. I�m bringing this to your notice that I�ve replied his mail today and agreed to all he said in the mail regarding my induction process. Idid replied your mail yesterday and was waiting patiently for a reply but to no avail. I ask you to send me the funeral pictures of Rev.Karl but to no avail. Please at this point, I want to see you as Rev Karl to me at list for you to play the role he intend to play in my life. Can you do this for me irrespective of the fact that you�ve not seen me and I�ve not seen you either?

I don't know, but hoping on you. I was hoping that you'll send me your phone number too. I'll be waiting patiently to hear from you soon Godwilling.

Regards,
Duncan

Deacon Cunningham rigs the election. He also sends pics of Rev. Karl�s funeral service and subsequent burial-at-sea. Will Duncan be impressed? Ahh the subtleties�

Quote:

Date: Fri Mar 24
From: Deacon Cunningham
To: Duncan
Subject: Reverend Karl's Funeral Services

Dear Brother Duncan,

Good to hear from you! I spoke with Deacon Wheatley earlier today, and he reminded me to send you the photographs that you asked for. I'm very sorry Brother Duncan, I forgot to send them because I have been busy attending to Reverend Karl's youth program, and trying to get things in place for the elections that are coming up. We are planning to vote on Tuesday morning, so I'm glad to hear that you will be a full member, and ready to vote. I will make sure that you get the ballots as soon the pictures of the new Eight tattoo have been recieved. Deacon Wheatley also tells me that you will be able to get Eight tattooed on your right arm, if you choose, and that would be acceptable to make you a full member. The two candidates for Moderator are N.N. Helfington and Jack Enthebachs. Most of us are hoping that N.N. Helfington will win the election because he is much younger, and would be a good Moderator. Jack Enthebachs is 94 years old and is not in good health, and we fear that he may not be with us much longer. If Jack were to be elected and then suddenly pass away, it would be very bad for the church. Duncan, I hope you will take this into consideration when you place your vote.

I am forwarding the pictures of the public Church Services for Reverend Karl, and also of his private Burial at Sea. As you know, Reverend Karl was a Highly-decorated Veteran of World War 2. He was a young Chaplain in the Navy when Pearl Harbor was attacked by the Japanese, and he saved many young men's lives that day. The United States Navy gave him a full Military Burial at Sea, in accordance with Navy regulations and tradition, along with a 21 gun salute, reserved for great heroes of his status. I think Reverend Karl would have liked this very much because he was so proud of his Military Service, and talked about it often. I'm sure that he must have told you many stories about his adventures in the Navy as a young man. God rest his soul.

Duncan, I would like to be the person to play the role in your life that Reverend Karl did, but I could never replace him because he was such a great man. I will try very hard to be the person that he was to you, Duncan.

Deacon Wheatly said that he explained to you about the computerized phone system we use to communicate. He said that your laptop was being packaged for shipment. He also said that he didn�t think Reverend Karl had explained these things to you. That is quite odd; Reverend Karl was usually very thorough discussing things with our future members.

Duncan, please contact me if you have any more questions, and I will try to answer them to your satisfaction. Please do not be upset with me if I do not reply immediately because I have been very busy since the passing of Reverend Karl, and have very little time for correspondence.

Remain Blessed,
Deacon Vaughan Cunningham
n8nw Ministries

Here are the pictures of the services and obituary. Notice how you can�t actually read the obituary? No mistake I assure you! Laughing

Duncan was apparently impressed with the funeral arrangements and dedicates 5 whole sentences in this four paragraph letter to the loving memory of Rev. Karl. You can�t let sentiment get in the way of a donation and a laptop!

Quote:

Date: Sat 25 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Wheatley
Subject: Re:

Dear Deacon Frank Wheatley,
Thanks also for your mail. Yes I�m happy too, that at list I�ll soon become a new member of the church. Though I�ve seen the attach picture of my god father Rev. Karl and I was very, very happy too for been able to see his face once more. All thanks goes toyou for your effort to make this possible for me. God bless you and be with you forever� I think I�ll prefer having it on the same arms! Hope this will not cause any problem? I�ll be making the pictures of the corrected tattoo available to you come Monday before the elections date of Tuesday so that I can also participate on the elections.

It is OK, since the correction will be make and be acceptable there will be no problem in regards to that Sir. There is no problem about that, I�ll have to wait until my induction process is been completed for the funds to be send to me! That will be no problem sir, I�ll follow as instructed by you and thehead member of our church and as the rules states. Happy hearing this sir.

No he did not have time to explain all this to me, he only told me he wants me to become a member first then every other things will be explain to me in due cause. My current shipping address is Duncan Wilkins Derkle,cite soboa no 6 ,rez-de-chaussee. Dakar Senegal. Please note, all shipment should be done with �UPS� currier service and the tracking number of the shipment send to me after the laptopmust have been ship. I even wanted to ask for this from you before now too, the hymnals and literature to help me know about the n8nw Ministry. I do not have an account for now, so I�ll advice the money been send through western union money transfer to me with my name and address.

Yes, and thanks for your concern about that. Deacon Cunningham have sent the pictures of thefuneral of to me. I did received the pictures you send to me through attachment. I knew he is sure a wonderful father before his death. He stood for me as my God father before his death, may his sole rest in perfect peace forever.. Hoping to hear from you soon God willing.

Regards,
Duncan.
n8nw Ministries.

Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:52 pm

This is where Duncan calls me on the candidates for the upcoming elections. Ignore modality applied liberally here. I�ll fire off a full page of bullshit at him later to give him more stuff to ask questions about (the old Jedi mind trick)

Quote:

Date: Sat Mar 25 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Cunningham
Subject: Thanks for the mail and information.

Dear Deacon Vaughan Cunningham,
Thanks for all you�ve done so far in my behalf, may the good LORD be with you forever�. Yes, Deacon Wheatley told me everything in his mail to me. Thanks once more for keeping to your words and promise, I�m very, very happy for the pictures you did send to me today. It�s OK, I do understand all you�re doing and going through for now. Reverend Karl's was like a father to me before his death I remembered vividly hislast mail to me; he said son, I�ll make sure my best is given to you don�t worry I�ll not fail you in quote by him. I promise to be part of the voting, I�ll do my best, and make sure I do correct the tattoo before that said date. Yeah the picture of the new Eight tattoo will be send to you by Monday by the grace of God. He said so, but I do prefer it on the same arm and that is what I�ll do.

This names are two different names from the first names you send to me. Why this two names N.N. Helfington and JackEnthebachs for the position of Moderator? I was thinking it was Deacon Wheatley and one other name you gave to me in your last mail to me. The name given to me by you is the one I�ll for sure cast my vote for N.N. Helfington. I�ve done that already Deacon Vaughan Cunningham and will for sure put that into consideration when the time comes. We did not really have much time to talk about his life, all he was after was that, I become a full member of the church because of my situation as at that point in time. I miss him so much, the news of his death was chocking to me I must confess this today but may his wonderful sole rest in perfect peace for meforever�

I know he was a great man Reverend Karl, he was like a father to me all the while I know him. I�m happy for the kind of burial they gave to him. For sure, God have rest his sole. I know that you can never be like Reverend Karl, it�s never going to be possible, but you can do your best and play your own part in my life. I�m very, very happy and feel very wanted with this statement of yours. That you�ll try very hard to be the person he was to me! Thanks for your concern Deacon Vaughan Cunningham. He said soin his mail to me, about the computerized phone system. And I�ve just send all the information�s about me to him now. No he never told me about the computerized phone system, he was particular about my membership first. Yes you�re very correct but it was not his fault, he gave me his word about the church and I knew if not for the untimely death he would have taken his time to explain every bit of it to me. Be it as it may, I do have you now and I�m happy but miss him so much.

What ever I feel I�ve to know, I�ll for sure ask you because I�m the asking type. I want to know where I don�t know! All I want for now, is for you to tell me more about our church. Take your time and do that. Hope there is nothing forbidding in the church? And if there isanything please do let me know before hand. My father in Christ Reverend Karl, is gone and like you�ve promised to take his place in my life, please don�t fail me? I do wish you all the best as we prepare for the fourth coming elections.

Regards,
Duncan
n8nw Ministries

Deacon Wheatley adds some positive reinforcement regarding the election, and the second tattoo.

Quote:

Date: Sat 25 Mar 2006
From: Deacon Wheatley
To: Duncan
Subject: Re:

Dear Brother Duncan,

Thank you for your email. I am very glad that you will be a full member by Monday! I will make sure that you have the voting ballots in time, and are able to vote on the Moderator this coming Tuesday! I will personally review and approve the photographs as soon as I receive them and finalize your donation arrangements so they can be sent.

I will email you two ballots. Our ballots are very simple to use. You should print out the ballot for the person you wish to vote for as Moderator. One ballot will be for N.N. Helfington, and it will simply have his first two initials which are N.N. and the message for MODERATOR along with an alpha-numerical ID at the bottom and our n8nw logo.

The second ballot is for Jack Enthebachs, it will also have his initials J.E. and the message for MODERATOR along with an alpha-numerical ID at the bottom and our n8nw logo.

Duncan, I ask you sincerely to take into consideration the future of our Church when deciding on your vote, over the next two days.

This is such a joyous occasion, and I am very happy to know that you are soon to be considered among the closest of family here at n8nw Ministries.

God Bless you Son,
Deacon Frank Wheatley,
n8nw Ministries.

Duncan is excited about the elections, and even reminds me that it is tomorrow. It�s a good thing that he got that second tattoo in time! Now Eight has her very own personalized mugu, and Nurse Nasty is a shoe-in for Moderator!

Quote:

Date: Mon 27 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Wheatley
Subject: Correction pictures!

Dear Deacon Frank Wheatley,
Greetings in the name of the Almighty God. I�m very, very glad too that I�m welcome to the n8nw Ministries family at last. I�m sorry I could not reply back to your mail all because I wanted the corrections to be done first before relying your mail. Please according your word, in quote, I�ll make sure you have the voting ballot in time. I �ll be waiting patiently for the next step to take sir; I�m counting on you and hoping that all well be well thistime! OK, the pictures are attached to this mail. Thanks once more for your concern towards my membership and induction into the family of n8nw Ministries.

I�ll be waiting for the two ballots are promised by you in this mail. I�ll do as instructed on this mail I promise. I�ll for sure sincerely take into consideration the future of our church sir when deciding on my vote. In your last mail to me, you did not mention when my laptop and the n8nw Hymnals and literature will be send to me. Ifthere is any other news you fill will be important to me, please do let me know.

It is really a joyous occasion as mentioned here sir, but I know by the grace of the Almighty God all will be fine with His grace bound on us. Hoping to you from you soon after all must have been concluded and hoping to get the voting instruction too from you in your next mail to me. Don�t forget tomorrow is the voting day!

God bless you,
Duncan
n8nw Ministries

Date: Mon 27 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Wheatley
Subject: Corrected pictures!!

Dear Sir,
The second face of the corrections!! I'll be waiting patiently to hear from you sir.

God bless you,
Duncan
n8nw Ministries.

Deacon Wheatley sends the ballots along with lost of praise. Unfortunately the donation is destined to wind up in Sierra Leone.

Quote:

Date: Mon 27 Mar 2006
From: Deacon Wheatley
To: Duncan
Subject: RE: Corrected pictures!!

Brother Duncan,

I would like to congratulate you on your acceptance to n8nw Ministries as a full member! It is such a happy occasion for us here at the church!

I have your laptop and all of the accessories boxed and ready to ship, along with your donation which will be sent first thing tomorrow morning!

I have attached the ballots, and will need you to cast your vote as soon as possible. To vote from a remote location, all that is required is for you to print out the ballot of the person that you wish to vote for and to take a picture of the ballot. You should hold the ballot next to your n8nw tattoo, so it can be verified that the vote is from one of our members, and have a photograph taken. Please do take care to make sure that the photograph is clear and that the ballot can be read easily.

Again Duncan, I congratulate you. I will let you know the results of the election as soon as all of the votes are counted, and I will contact you with the laptop shipping and donation information as soon as I can.

Remain blessed,
Deacon Frank Wheatley
n8nw Ministries

Duncan is ready to vote. He sends a little reminder to Deacon Wheatley about the donation arrangements.

Quote:

Date: Mon 27 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Wheatley
Subject: I'm happy now!

Dear Deacon Frank Wheatley,
I want to first of all say thanks to Almighty God and you in particular for keeping to your promise and confirming me as a full member of the n8nw Ministries. I�m more than happy I must confess Deacon Frank Wheatley, I�m happy now and ready to do the work of God too I�ll be waiting for all the information of the shipments by tomorrow. Please note all information�s regarding the shipment should be send to me through my mail box please. I�ll alsolike to remind you of the n8nw Ministry Hymnals and literature.
I�ve seen the ballot and will do as instructed by you first thing tomorrow morning too. I�ll get the ballot of my candidate print, and take a picture with it as instructed. I�ll make sure the future of the church is put into consideration sir.

Thanks once more for your effort in making this come to pass. God bless you sir. Perfect on that, I�ll be waiting for the elections results. Please do, I�ll be waiting patiently for the shipment and donation information�s sir. God bless you sir..

Regards,
Duncan.
n8nw Ministries.

Duncan is very dependable when it comes to dissemination of information! Deacon Cunningham needs to be informed!

Quote:

Date: Mon Mar 27
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Cunningham
Subject: I'm now a full member of the Ministry!

Dear Deacon Vaughan Cunningham,
Greetings in the name of the LORD. I must confess I�m very, very happy now with the news I got from Deacon Frank Wheatley today. I want to formally inform you that, I�m now a full member of n8nw Ministries. Since my God father is no more, I felt it will be wise for me to get you informed before hand that I was given the good news today by Deacon Frank Wheatley. How I wish Reverend Karl was alive to see this day! Like I�ve made you to understand before now that, you�ll be the one to replace Reverend Karl for me.
I know by now you should bebusy with the election procedure, and that should be the reason why I�ve not heard from you for some days now. Less I forget, he also send me my own ballot to cast my own vote. I�ll be casting my own vote by tomorrow as instructed by Deacon Frank Wheatley. He gave me the instructions to follow and I�ll be doing just that as a member of the n8nw Ministries.
He also made me to understand too that, my laptop will be ship to me by tomorrow first thing in the morning with other entitlements. I really hope to hear from you soon God willing.
Remain blessed,
Duncan.
n8nw Ministries

Duncan prefers UPS, and is a big help with shipping procedures. What the hell happened with poor mum�s kidney though?

Quote:

Date: Tue 28 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Wheatley
Subject: My vote!

Dear Deacon Frank Wheatley,
Once more i want to say thanks for my acceptance sir. I'm attaching with this mail my vote as instructed by you. I'll be waiting for the information's later in the day here for any onward tracking of the shiping number.

Please don't if there is any other thing don't fail to let me know please! I'll be waiting patiently to hear from you today. Remember the shipment have to be done with "UPS" is more reliable here sir.

Remain blessed,
Duncan.
n8nw Ministries.

Out of town for business, so I need a little cover story�

Quote:

Date: Tue 28 Mar 2006
From: Deacon Wheatley
To: Duncan
Subject: RE: My vote!

Brother Duncan,

Thank you for processing your vote in a very timely manner! I will let you know the results of the elections as soon as all of the votes are counted.

Deacon Cunningham and I will be traveling by train to Green Bay, Wisconsin for our annual meeting with Reverend Earnest Angley. Reverend Angley is a televangelist. That is to say, his ministry is broadcast on television. He has made many trips to Africa, and spread the word of his church there. Perhaps you have heard of him? Reverend Angley is not a member of n8nw Ministries, but he is a good friend.

As we will be traveling by rail, we will not have access to the internet, so do not worry if we are unable to reply to your emails quickly. We expect to return to our Church on Thursday evening, and will contact you then as soon as we return. I will have the lady in accounting make sure that your shipment is sent to you today, as she was unable to get to the shipping offices yesterday due to a bout of diarrhea.

We will talk to you soon, and hope you are doing well.

Remain Blessed,
Deacon Frank Wheatley
n8nw Ministries.

Duncan just wanted to say hello� twice

Quote:

Date: Wed 29 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Wheatley
Subject: RE: My vote!

Dear Deacon Frank Wheatley,
Thanks for your mail and the information passed to me sir. I'll be waiting to hear back from you soon. How is Deacon Cunningham? I'll pray for the guardians of the Almighty God to rest with both of you as you'll be on the train. I've not heard of Reverend Angley before but with this information, I'll be looking out to hearing his program. Really, that he has made a lot of trip to Africa here? If that is the case, he must be very, very use to Africa.

I do pray also that , our n8nw Ministries grows and spread around Africans too. I got you and understood your mail, I wish you both safe journey. I'll be waiting upon your arrival to get the information across to me in regards to the shipment and other information's i need get from you upon your arrival.

I'll be waiting for you, i do also hope, to get the result of the vote too.

Remain Blessed,
Duncan.
n8nw Ministries.

Duncan is concerned for our well-being as is stated in all 3 of his emails today. (same message/same subject) And WTF??? He needs more info on Rev. Karl�s funeral? Can�t he let the dead rest in peace?

Quote:

Date: Fri 31 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Wheatley
Subject: You're welcome back!

Dear Deacon Frank Wheatley,
Greetings in the name of the LORD. Hope all is well with you and Deacon Cunningham? I was expecting your mails yesterday but to no avail, this is the reason I'm writing to find out what could have been the reason behind it.

I've been waiting to hear a word from you about the shipment, and the way forward in regards to our n8nw Ministries. As you can see, I'm really in the dark for now. I don't know what is going on! even the vote i did participated on i don't know who won seat of Moderator. Please i want out of the dark, and will appreciate if can hear from you today sir.

If you're back from your trip, hope all went well as planed? May the good LORD be with you and other members of our n8nw Ministries. I'll also appreciate it, if you can still tell me more about the burial of Reverend Karl.

Remain Blessed,
Duncan.
n8nw Ministries

There�s been a tiny mistake with the shipment, but it�s really no big deal. Be sure to check out the security Q&A, should be quite interesting if used in a bank. Deacon Wheatley also forgets to mention that the police have been at the church.

Quote:

Date: Fri 31 Mar 2006 03:07:06 PM EST
From: Deacon Wheatley
To: Duncan
Subject: RE: You're welcome back!

Dear Brother Duncan,

I am sorry that I did not get back to you last night when Deacon Cunningham and I returned, but it was very late in the evening.

The elections went well indeed and N.N. Helfington is now officially our new Moderator.

I checked with the accounting department, and indeed the shipment was made on Tuesday of this week. However there has been a small mistake, and the laptop, hymnals, your donation in the amount of $18,375 USD and $2000 USD for the reimbursement of the tattoo costs were inadvertently sent to Sierra Leone. They have arrived at the Bank, and are ready for you to pick them up.

Apparently, Gertrude was under the impression that you were in Sierra Leone. She must have thought this because she was very close to Reverend Karl, and she said that Reverend Karl told her you were in Sierra Leone.

The bank that she shipped to is

SIERRA LEONE COMMERCIAL BANK
35A LIGHTFOOT BOSTON ST
FREETOWN, SIERRA LEONE 0

I am told that the procedure to collect your shipment only requires that you have your ID or Passport, or know the correct Security Question and Answer.
The Security Question is: How do you praise the Lord? And the Security Answer is: Put your hands in the air.

Please contact me by email as soon as you have arrived in Freetown, and I will issue another Moneygram check draft to cover your travel expenses.

Remain Blessed,

Frank Wheatley
n8nw Ministries

Time to seed some doubts. I probably trashed the chance for a safari with this email�live and learn though.

Quote:

Date: Fri Mar 31 15:21:43 2006
From: Deacon Cunningham
To: Duncan
Subject: A matter of importance

Dear Brother Duncan,

I arrived back at the Church vary late last night and was surprised to find that some very strange developments have arisen during the trip that Deacon Wheatley and I took.

It seems that there in an ongoing police investigation into Reverend Karl's sudden death, and that foul play may have been involved. Have you heard anything suspicious from any of the other church members? This is a very unsettling turn of events, and I am deeply concerned about it. There have been no arrests made, but there must be some very strong evidence supporting foul play, because there are police officers at the church at all hours, night and day.

Please do contact me immediately when you receive this message.

May God keep you safe,
Deacon Vaughan Cunningham,
n8nw Ministries

Duncan voices concern about the recent developments.

Quote:

Date: Fri 31 Mar 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Wheatley
Subject: RE: You're welcome back!

Dear Deacon Frank Wheatley,
Greetings in the name of the LORD. I got your mail today with mist feelings I must confess sir. First I must say thanks to God for bringing you both back safely. So now, our new Moderator is N.N. Helfington? I want to say a big congratulations to him and God guardians towards his new post as a Moderator.

Sorry Deacon Frank Wheatley, are you saying the shipments was made to Sierra Leone? Why if may ask? Before making the shipment you did ask me how did I intend receiving my donation which I personally send to you. My contact address andall relevant information�s you needed from me. Can�t you recall the shipment and send it back to the address I gave to you? Because I don�t have money for my transportation to Sierra Leone.

I�ll also like to have other evident of shipment to back up my clam from the said bank, that is, if I can be able to lay my hands on funds to make my trip to Sierra Leone. Can I please get the total amount in full please; You have told me before now that, you don�t have any information about me and that was the reason you ask how I Intend receiving my donation. I�m only from Sierra Leone butliving here in Senegal because of the past war that befall my country.

Please if you don�t mind, I�ll love it if you can scan to me through mail the shipment receipt. This I ask, will be my back up evidence please. I�ll also like to know the name in which she used in sending the shipments to Sierra Leone. What if thetravelling expenses is send to me now to enable me make my trip to Sierra Leone? This will be the best bet for me, cause I don�t have any money here with me to make my trip and Reverend Karl ask me to join the n8nw Ministries so that assistance can be given to me.

You did gave me your word before now, I strongly believe as a man of God you�ll not go back on your word. I�ll be waiting patiently for the scanned copy of the receipt of shipment sir. There are other things I wish to knowfrom you too but certainly after all this must have been resolved. Less I forget, Deacon Cunningham wrote me a mail today and was saying the police came to the church in regards to Reverend Karl death. He did ask some questions that really made me felt bad about everything. For crying out loud, how can he ask me if I happen to hear a word from a church member about the death of Reverend Karl. To me, that question is not suppose to come to me at all in the first place. Today I don�t even know any of the church members to start with apart from Late Reverend Karl, you and him. I�ll waiting patiently to hear back from you come tomorrow sir.

Remain Blessed,
Duncan
n8nwMinistries

Duncan is apparently not as good at reading in between the lines as I first suspected. I meant to cast suspicion on Deacon Wheatley, but it didn�t have the desired effect.

Quote:

Date: Fri Mar 31 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Cunningham
Subject: Re: A matter of importance

Dear Deacon Vaughan Cunningham,
Greetings in the name of the LORD. Sorry for once, you should know there is no way possible for me to know anything about it. How did they come about this after Reverend Karl's have already been buried? I don�t get you write on this with this question you�re asking me! God, how can I hear anything from any church member? I�m in Africa and the church and the event you�re taking about here took place in America.

On my own part as a human being, I must say here that it was surprising to myself when you did break the news about his death to me but since I�m here, there was nothing I could do about it but just believe you and took the news by faith. For sure, I don�t know anything nether did I hear anything about it. All information�s that comes to me from the church comes only from you and Deacon Wheatley.

I did receive a mail from Deacon Wheatley today and he did not made mention of it to me. So I was surprise hearing this from you. How come Deacon Wheatley is not aware of this? Because with every indication he is one of the elders of the church so he should be aware of this. Are you aware that my donation was ship to Sierra Leon! You did promised to make sure you see out things for me! I�m surprise that things like this could be happening to me by this time after all information�s duly passed across before the shipment was made.

Please, help me look into this issue and let me know what your advice is. Coming back to the police investigation you talk about, if I may ask, why would any body want to kill Reverend Karl's? I�m very, very worried about this development I must confess to you. I feel like crying over this, why Reverend Karl's? I�ll be hoping to hear from you by tomorrow to enable me know what will be the next step on this issue. I do believe so much in the living God, and know I�ll be safe always. Because it is written �no weapon fashioned against me shall prosper�. Laughing

(the email is mightier than the sword, dear lad!)

Remain Blessed,
Duncan
n8nw Ministries

Deacon Wheatley plays it down.

Quote:

Date: Sat 01 Apr 2006
From: Deacon Wheatley
To: Duncan
Subject: RE: I don't know what to do now!

Brother Duncan,

Gertrude must have mistakenly shipped your package to Sierra Leone. I gave her the shipping information that you provided, but she is elderly and somewhat forgetful. She said that she shipped the parcel in your name, Duncan Wilkins. The laptop, hymnals and donation are already in Sierra Leone, so I don't know if it can be shipped back, as it is consigned to you personally. I think it would be against the Bank's security policy to take charge of your consignment and ship it anywhere. I will have someone scan the copy of the shipping receipt, as you requested, and send it to you. As for the donation, the total amount was sent in full as two separate checks. One check is in the amount of $18,375 USD and one check is in the amount of $2000 USD. They are both in your name, and you may do with them as you wish. They were sent along with the IBM Thinkpad laptop and hymnals to

SIERRA LEONE COMMERCIAL BANK
35A LIGHTFOOT BOSTON ST
FREETOWN, SIERRA LEONE 0

At this time, auditors are reviewing our recent Bank statements, and our accounts are temporarily frozen. We hope to have all of this resolved very soon, but I am told that it may be 6 to 8 weeks before we are able to write any new drafts on our accounts. To this end, I can not send any additional money at this time, but would be happy to at such a time as the Bank allows.

Brother Duncan, I must admit that the police have been here, but it is of little concern and just a minor matter that should cause no alarm.

Remain Blessed,
Deacon Frank Wheatley
n8nw Ministries

If you think it�s getting confusing now, imagine what Duncan must be dealing with. Deacon Cunningham attempts to cast suspicion on Deacon Wheatley a second time in less veiled terms.

Quote:

Date: Sat Apr 1 2006
From: Deacon Cunningham
To: Duncan
Subject: Re: A matter of importance

Brother Duncan,

I do not know why Deacon Wheatley would not mention this to you. Something does not seem right about Deacon Wheatley lately. During our trip he kept talking about becomming the new Reverend now, and it upset me the way that he was talking. I do not know why anyone would want to kill Reverend Karl, but it seems now that this may be the case. The police have frozen all of the churchs' bank accounts, and now they are going through all of our membership records. The investigators say that the bank accounts may be frozen for up to 6 months.

There is something strange happening here, and I will keep you informed of everything as I have promised to look after you since Reverend Karl's passing away.
Please be careful of what you say to Deacon Wheatley, he was very angry that I told you about the investigation. I told you because you are now a full member of our church, and as such, are entitled to know what is happening. I will talk to Gertrude, in accounting, and try to find out why the donation, hymnals and laptop computer were sent to Sierra Leone in stead of where you asked to have them shipped.

God be with you,
Deacon Vaughan Cunningham
n8nw Ministries

Duncan needs some documents and tries to extract information from Deacon Wheatley.

Quote:

Date: Sat 01 Apr 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Wheatley
Subject: RE: I don't know what to do now!

Dear Deacon Frank Wheatley,
Greetings in the name of the Almighty. It�s OK, I�ve heard you and will be going to Sierra Leone to get the ship items pick up. You don�t bother yourself about that any more, I mean shipping back the items to you. I�ll look for funds and make my trip to Sierra Leone as soon as possible. I need the copy of thereceipt of shipment scanned to me before making the trip, I strongly believe in God and know for sure what ever has beginning has an end too. Why would you need to look for some one to scan the receipt to me? I was expecting you to say you�ll scan the receipt to me, sorry but I�ve to say this at this point, I don�t really know what it going on I�m afraid now I must confess to you. Deacon Frank Wheatley, is there anything you know that I don�t know and you don�t want me to know?

Note without the receipt of the shipment, Ican�t make the trip to Sierra Leone. But be assured that, I�ll fine out about the shipment even without going to Sierra Leone from here because Sierra Leone is my country of birth. You made me to understand here that, the donation is on cheque right? If I may ask, where will I cash the money since you�ve said the church bank account have been frozen. Won�t this cost any problems to me? But why is that it is now that my donation are made that all this are happing? I think here that, there is more to which my eyes can see here. I know where the bank is in Sierra Leone, I even know there head office so there is nothing to worry about but just need the receipt of shipment that is all I need now.

If your last mail to me is anything to go by, you made me to understand that, if I eventually get to Sierra Leone, that all my travelling expenses will be send to me by money gram. The truth of the matter is that, I don�t know what to do at this point. Because you people are confusing me at this point. Are you saying with the account of the church been frozen the issuing bank of the cheque will still honour the cheque? This are the things I want to know from you in your reply. What ever it is Deacon Frank Wheatley, please let me know and no body will die because of this. This is life and as long as one lives it must go on. You�re like a father to me today irrespective of the fact that I don�t know you as a person but believe in all you�ve said to me so far, but for sure now, I�m kind of having double mind with the developments athand.

Did I hear you say there is no cause for alarm? If you so, I�ll take you by your words and so be it too. We�re not really saying anything about the n8nw Ministries why if I may ask? I�ll also like to have the website of the church, address of the church and every other relevantinformation you think will be useful to me at this point in time. As a full member as you have confirm me be, I think I do deserve the right to know more about the church and it�s activities. Hoping to hear from you soon God willing.

Remain Blessed ,
Duncan.
n8nwMinistries

Duncan is all over the place now, and needs some discipline. How dare he question Deacon Cunningham�s faith? Oh no you did-ent! It�s on now!

Quote:

Date: Sat Apr 1 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Cunningham
Subject: Re: A matter of importance

Dear Deacon Vaughan Cunningham,
Do you believe in God? If yes, I want you to know God has been my light with the faith I�ve in him. For sure now, I�m convince here now that there are some things you people know that I don�t know and don�t want to tell me. What ever it is, let me know and I�ll not die. I�ve seen the four corners of war and came out of it with the help of the Almighty God. If God be with me who should I fear?Nobody!!!!

Do you know it is very, very painful when you find out people are trying to use you because you do have faith in the works of the Almighty God. I did not come in to become member of the church all because of money no. (oh really?) Laughing

But came in because of what God have done for me in the past, I was told by Reverend Karl�s that God duel in your church and I will see the good things God will do in my life once I become a member of the church which I believe him for with all myheart.

Why is it now that my donation is ready that you people are talking about frozen of the church account? Deacon Frank Wheatley told me it will be for 6 to 8 weeks but you�re saying here that it will take up to 6 months. For sure as you can see, I don�t know who to believe. You people should come out and tell me some things, please somebody should tell me what is going on here? No you�re nothing doing that for me as you�ve promised me! Can you prove me wrong by sending me the pictures of Reverend Karl�s and you together, the picture of the church with the signboard inscribe with the name of the church, the church website address, the church postal address and above all the picture of the church auditorium.

Please let me know if I should go to Sierra Leone because it will be painful going to Sierra Leone and finding out that I was lied to. As I�m talking to you now, I did borrowed the money I sued for the tattoo from a friend all in the name that it will be refunded back to me like I was made to believe. Come to think of it, why should he be angry about that? Am I not a member of the church and deserve to know what is goingon in the church! As it is now, I�m not even sure if there is any donation any where waiting for me. I feel betrayed, for once in my life with the name of the Almighty God. I don�t know what to say now, all I ask from you now is for you to open up to me.

Tell me, if really the shipment have been made? And if your answer is yes, I want you to scan the receipt of shipment to me and the address where the shipment is coming from because those are the information�s the bank will be asking from me when I get to Sierra Leone. I�ll be waiting patiently for your reply soon Godwiling.

Regards,
Duncan.
n8nw Ministries

Spare the rod and spoil the child� It�s spanking season, and Duncan�s hankerin� for a spankerin�!

Quote:

Date: Sat Apr 1 2006
From: Deacon Cunningham
To: Duncan
Subject: Re: A matter of importance

Brother Duncan,

I am surprised by your harsh words. I have always had your best interests in mind. I know that I can not replace Reverend Karl, but I told you that I would try to help you as Reverend Karl did!

I am a man of my word, Duncan, and I can tell only the things that I know. I have no idea why Deacon Wheatley would talk falsely, but if you say that he has, I will trust your word.

I have scanned in the Moneygram receipts and attached them. The frozen bank accounts will have no bearing on your donation, as it was paid in full prior to shipment.

I feel that I have done everything that you have ever asked of me, and the only thanks that I receive from you are angry and hurtful words and accusations. And you even dare to question my faith!

Go then and collect the laptop, hymnals and your donation, and you will see that I am not deceiving you as you so rudely accuse me.

I can not remove the anger and the hate that I now see in your heart. I can only pray that you will see the error of your accusations and ask my forgiveness for your spite towards me.

Good day to you,
Vaughan Cunningham,
n8nw Ministries

Duncan�s send button must have got stuck because there were 6 of these in my inbox. (sm/ss) And he�s working Sundays again I see.

Quote:

Date: Sun Apr 2 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Cunningham
Subject: I'm sorry!!

Dear Vaughan Cunningham,
I do for sure know how you feel about the mail i sent to you. I don�t want you to forget in a hurry, if you�re in my position you�ll do same like me. I�m very, very sorry if I must have offended you in any way in the cause of sending my last mail to you. It�s OK, please let us not go through all does words again please I beg of you. Now I promise to listen to you andbelieve in you too like I did for Reverend Karl�s since you�ve given me your word on this.

For sure, that was what he wrote to me. It was that mail that blow up my mind, if you say you�ll trust me, I�ll take you for your word. I did got the receipt of the Money gram from you mail today. First thing tomorrow, I�ll be calling the Money gram office for verification and for me to get myself ready for Sierra Leone. I�ll be picking up the money I�ll be using for my fair to Sierra Leone,like I�ve made you to understand yesterday, that I�ve to get some money borrowed from a friend before making the trip. I�m happy hearing from you that, the money sent to me got nothing to do with the church account been frozen.

I�m very, very sorry once more but you�ve not done everything I did ask from you for me. I did ask you for the church address, website address, pictures of church auditorium and a picture showing me the name of the church on a sign board all this you did not send to me! Please I�m on my kneels Deacon Vaughan Cunningham what ever I must have written on my mail was just an act of frustration please! Please don�t vex your anger on me please, now I agree with you that, I went far beyond my boundary. All I did was for you to prove yourself to me that you�ll really keep up to your words as Reverend Karl�s did for me.

Like I said before nowin this mail, I�ll be going to Sierra Leone after I must have confirm from Money gram by tomorrow. Thanks for confirming the items have been shipped. Once it is confirm by tomorrow, I�ll now place all my trust in your hands forever�. No you�re wrong with this! Please note you can for sure remove the anger and hate I got inside me once I got my confirmation by tomorrow I promise you from my heart. Once my confirmation is done by tomorrow, I�ll know by then that God has answered your prayer on me.

One last one, I beg of you please do forgive me for any wrong doing towards you. I was confused that is the truthbecause I never was anticipating the kind of delay in the first place and couple with the death of Reverend Karl�s. Please forgive me from your heart please!!!!!

Remain Blessed,
Duncan.
n8nw Ministries

Duncan�s writing style and intelligence changes here, and in the original emails there were several different fonts, I think Duncan�s Oga was going to lend the money for safari, wanted to keep an eye on things, and got suspicious.

Quote:

Date: Mon Apr 3 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Cunningham
Subject: Re: A matter of importance

Dear Deacon Vaughan Cunningham,
I ask again do you believe in God? Like i said before now yesterday that, I've to confirm all that is on the form which I've done with good faith too. I called the Moneygram office i Sierra Leone and was told the "REFERENCE NUMBER" on the form is more than the one Moneygram operates with. I was told Money gram "REFERENCE NUMBERS" are normally 8 not 10 as it appears on the form you send to me yesterday. Please, now you can see why I've to behave the way i did the other day.

Please, I'll want you to find out and confirm some things for me please. If you really care about me. I want the phone number of the bank the shipment was send to, because as it is now, i find out too that Sierra Leone Commercial Bank 35A Lightfoot Boston Street does not receive Moneygram any more.

Now this is your word against my own word, please prove yourself to me Deacon VaughanCunningham.May the good LORD bless you as you do this for me. This are my findings take care of them for me. Waiting patiently to hear from you God willing.

Remain Blessed,
Duncan.
n8nw Ministries

The SPANK-O-METER just hit 110%. And we�re bringing in the big guns. Deacon Cunningham goes on a 20 paragraph rant about Brother Duncan, courtesy of Scott Pakin�s complaint letter generator (left out for obvious reasons)

Quote:

Date: Mon Apr 3 12:39:57 2006
From: Deacon Cunningham
To: Duncan
Subject: Re: A matter of importance

Brother Duncan,

Of course you were not able to check the Moneygram on the phone, as it is a secure Moneygram. Secure Moneygrams have a 10 digit code and can not be tracked. I will only recieve notice as to the status of the transfer after it has been received. And I would suggest that you look up the bank address and phone number on the Moneygram website before you continue your blasphemy and question my faith in the Lord! I grow weary of your accusations, and I am now starting to doubt our decision to allow you to join our church! And for your transgressions I shall send a letter to all of the members of the church and warn them to offer you no aid should you ever question me again! Do not continue to anger me, or I shall inform the church members of the following:

(INSERT 20 PARAGRAPHS FROM COMPLAINT GENERATOR HERE)

And the church members will all see you for what you truly are!

Glory to God, amen!

Good day
Deacon Vaughan Cunningham
n8nw Ministries

Duncan just doesn�t know when to quit! Surely he doesn�t think I need to call? More influence from a third party here, I believe.

Quote:

Date: Mon Apr 3 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Cunningham
Subject: Re: A matter of importance

Dear Deacon Vaughan Cunningham,
I want to state here again that I know I�m saying. Maybe the way I�m going about may not be good for but, the truth have to be said no matter what and that I�ve done here with good faith sir. I just called Moneygram U.S.A now before replying this mail and they told me the same thing and gave me there number for you to confirm. Note after confirming, if you find out the truth you�ll come to teams with me Deacon Vaughan Cunningham. Please try and listento me for once, I beg of you, the Moneygram tele phone number is this 8009269400. I truly know how you feel but just for once listen to me. I don�t have any reason to lie to you, I was told just now that, Moneygram don�t have any transaction that carries TEN digits. They told me all there reference must be within the limit range of Eight digits.

All I�m trying to do is to be protective of myself for not spending the money for nothing please note this. The told me bluntly that they don�t have any secure Moneygram program sir, I�m not a blasphemer sir but trying to express myobservation. Don�t you know you have any reason of doing what you�re saying here because the facts are here for you to see my complains. Why don�t you find out first before getting angrier with me? The REFRENCE number on my form is this �2094138105� I want you to know from me now that, I don�t have any reason to lie to you please believe me.

Regards,
Duncan
n8nw Ministries

Time to bring out the tough love - g4y pr0n style - hope he enjoys! SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!!

Quote:

Date: Mon Apr 3 14:55:05 2006
From: Deacon Cunningham
To: Duncan
Subject: Re: A matter of importance

Brother Duncan,

If you would check this website, I think you will see that I am serious, and I do not know what you are blathering on about! http://softmeasure.zoy.org/ (NO CLICKY!!!)

Good day!

Duncan takes the zoy.org link fairly well, he was obviously distraught, but still ever so pleasant, and perhaps a little humbled by the experience. And he is soon to find out just what sort of church he joined.

Quote:

Date: Tue Apr 4 07:57:19 2006
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Cunningham
Subject: Re: A matter of importance

Dear Deacon,
I got your website but for sure this website gets nothing to do with what we've at hand here sir with all due respect. We're talking about donation been sent to me here, are you're sending me website. If I'm member of an organization don't i have right to ask of my own entitlements like you made me to understand before now that it is my right as a member of the church. So why am asking now and your sending website to scare me of my own right? Laughing

You said you've send my donation, which i do agree on that it is send with what you made me to understand, but i can't find it in moneygram. I want you to know one thing here, i got your site or what ever but, what ever you think you're doing, know now that you can only hurt me if only i come contrary to any understanding we but reach. And so far God Almighty knows I've not done that so stop what ever you think you're doing to scare me please because "No weapon fashionedagainst me shall prosper".

Stop all this and lets address the donation issue please that is what we have at hand after that we can talk about other things please. How was your findings? Did you call the numbers i gave to you? Please try lets us see what we do have at hand. I'll be waiting to here from you soon God willing.

God Bless you,
Duncan,

Duncan decides to make a formal complaint.

Quote:

Date: Tue 04 Apr 2006 10:21:43 AM EDT
From: Duncan
To: Deacon Wheatley
Subject: RE: I don't know what to do now!

Dear Deacon Frank Wheatley,
Greetings in the name of the LORD. I just want to formally lay my complain to you about the donations made to me. I've not seen them and have call the bank and confirm from them too but to no avail. I called Moneygram Sierra Leone, that is the name of the bank you gave to me but to no avail. I'm just putting this forward to you, i don't want you to feel I've collected the donations in which I've not collected. This bank made it very, very clear that they don't receive Moneygram but there head office do.

SIERRA LEONE COMMERCIAL BANK
35A LIGHTFOOT BOSTON ST
FREETOWN, SIERRA LEONE 0

I've called the head office since after i got this information but to no avail too. I don't know if there is any other thing to do! If not, i think I'll forget everything about the donations by faith and believe in God that he will do it for me as he has before now. Hoping to hear from yousoon God willing.

Remain Blessed,
Duncan.

Unfortunately Deacon Wheatley and Deacon Cunningham�s email addys have been shut down. Duncan will receive the terrible news of the police investigation from a concerned third party. Enter Sharon Hargraves - concerned third party who will be Duncan�s only contact throughout the rest of this fiasco. I had to slow Duncan down; he was inundating me with emails. Since Sharon isn�t a member of the church, she has no way of knowing anything other that the cryptic messages she receives from Deacon Cunningham, via pay-phone, regarding recent events.

Quote:

Date Tue, 4 Apr 2006
From Sharon Hargraves
To Duncan
Subject A message from Deacon Cunningham

Duncan,

Deacon Cunningham has asked me to contact you. He had to leave the state for fear of his life. He tried to contact you the other day, but noticed that someone had been sending messages to you from his email. Deacon Cunningham suspects that it is Deacon Wheatley who is doing this, and he asked me to warn you. Deacon Cunningham also wanted me to send you a newspaper clipping that he thought might help to explain the situation at the church.

Please get back to me and let me know if you are okay, and I will forward the message to Deacon Cunningham. He will stay in contact with you through me, because he is afraid that Deacon Wheatley may do him harm, and he must remain in hiding. He also told me to tell you that he read the emails that were sent from his account, and he thinks Deacon
Wheatley is trying to get the donation that was allocated to you for himself. Deacon Cunningham has all of the information of the transaction, and it was not sent through Moneygram as you are being told by someone. Please get back to me soon so I can tell Deacon Cunningham that you are okay.

Sharon

This is the first newspaper article. Marvinator made it up for me. I had to convert it to a GIF because photobucket resized the JPEG and made it too small. This is readable, but does not do the original justice. Marvinator�s work is incredible! http://s56.photobucket.com/albums/g189/rev_karl/?action=view¤t=Newspaper1.gif
Duncan is confused, and doesn�t know what kind of church this is! I guess the 1st newspaper clipping has him worried, wait �til he gets the 2nd one! Shouldn�t he have been concerned with these details before joining? And there is still no mention of dear mum.

Quote:

Date Tue, 4 Apr 2006
From: Duncan
To: Sharon
Subject: Re: A message from Deacon Cunningham

Dear Sharon,
The truth of the matter is that, i don't know who to believe in all of this. They have been lying to me all this while for no reason but i want them to know for now that, I've a God and my God is able to take good care of me. The stories are becoming too much, did i hear you say in is into hiding? If he wants to contact me he can because, internet is every where and he can for sure send me mails too.I don't know what to say for now, that is the truth. And how i feel about everything.

So what is the problem with the donation now, where is my donation?Tell him i say he must prove himself before me. I'm fine because my God is with me!! I've not done anything bad to any body so i must be fine by the grace of God. I don't know what kind of church is this! I'm disappointed in the way and manner things are done in the church. Are you a member of the church? If yes, tell me more about the church please

Now tell me, where is the donations sent to and what are the information's he intend to give to me? I'll be waiting patiently to hear from you soon God willing.

Regards,
Duncan.

Date: 5, April 2006
From: Sharon
To: Duncan
Subject: Re: A message from Deacon Cunningham.

Duncan,
I will give Deacon Cunningham your message when he calls. I don't know where he is, he said he would call me back in 2 days. He does not have a computer now, and is calling me from a public pay-phone so I don�t have his number. I am not a member of the church, so I don't know anything about it, only what he tells me.

Sharon

Time raise Duncan�s stress level and break the terrible news about the lascivious and illegal activities at the church and the real meaning of the n8nw tattoo.

Quote:

Date: 5, April 2006
From: Sharon
To: Duncan
Subject: Reverend Karl is alive and has been arrested.

Duncan,

I was reading the paper this morning and I found this. I thought you should know about it.

Sharon

This is the 2nd newspaper article by Marvinator. Again converted to GIF. http://s56.photobucket.com/albums/g189/rev_karl/?action=view¤t=Newspaper2.gif

I am such an IDIOT!!!

It appears that Duncan knew all along that I was playing him and the joke is on me!

YEAH RIGHT!!! Laughing

Quote:

Date Thu, 6 Apr 2006
From Duncan
To Sharon Hargraves
Subject Re: Reverend Karl is alive and has been arrested

Dear what ever,
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! You see i laugh at you and the others because you�ve eyes but can�t see with them. Did I hear you say FBI is looking for me? So now I�m Oasama Ben Laden Nonsense people that what you�re if you say the n8nw means �MUGU� I want you to know from now on that, I was playing along with you and your co horse. I want you to know today that, there was noting like tattoo read my lips fool. You�re �MUMU� Look very, very well and think of there was useless fools!!

Don�t you ever mail me again, I don�t want to have anything to do with you again it is over with I was only playing along with you people before and what I was look for I�ve gotten and OK.

I�m afraid all that is left of this one is to try for a death threat or a voodoo curse. I�ll sure miss Duncan, and I�ll never forget him� And I�m certain he�ll never forget me! Twisted Evil

Quote:

Duncan,

I really don't know what to make of this email that you sent. Are you on some kind of medication? You dont seem to be making any sense. I do hope that you are okay.

Sharon

No answer to the first one yet, but this one should do the trick!

Quote:

Duncan,

I forgot to ask you what a MUGU is. Deacon Cunningham is very upset that he has a tattoo that he doesn't know the meaning of. I looked up MUGU on the internet and there was only a bunch of entries in guestbooks that said MUGU KEEP OFF OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

What is that? It sounds like a bunch of retarded people, or little boys playing on the computer.

Sharon

I hope you enjoyed Duncan�s adventure as much as he and I did, and please do send him a line! His addy is [email protected] He loves g4y pr0n and would like to answer any questions you might have about stealing money from the Church and his illicit love affair with Reverend Karl!

Please post any responses here for all to enjoy!

Later,

Cuervo Cool

Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:57 pm

Isn't this what publish your work is for????

Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 11:42 pm

EDIT> Moved

Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 12:27 am

hey, isn't that Senator "Sheets" Byrd?

My first trophy - tattoo update 99% published	View next topic View previous topic