Short story.Dr. Smith wins 1-0

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Dr. Jeff Smith vs. Uuno Turhapuro

29.2.2004 12:15

From;Dr. jeff smith
Tel: 874-763648313
: 874-763648314
Fax: 874-763648315

Dear Sir,

My name is Dr.jeff smith, I am the operational manager
in account management section incharge of credit and
foreign bills of one of the prime banks here in South
Africa. I am writing in respect of a foreign customer
of my bank who perished with his whole families on
25TH JULY,2000 in CONCORDE PLANE CRASH [Flight AF4590]
with the whole passengers aboard.

There is an account opened in this bank in 1998 by
this great late INDUSTRIALIST who died without a
written or oral 'WILL' attached to the account. Since
his death, I personally have watched with keen
interest
to see the next of kin but all has proved abortive as
no one has come to claim his funds and no other person
knows about this account or anything concerning it,
the account has no other beneficiary and until his
death he was the manager of his company.

The total amount involved is 16,000,000.00
USD.[Sixteen Million United States Dollar]. We wish
to start the first transfer with $6,000,000.00[Six
million] and upon successful transaction without any
disappointment from your side, we shall re-apply for
the transfer of the remaining balance to your account.

I have secretly discussed this matter with the general
manager of the bank who I must involve in order to
have a smooth and a successful transfer of the fund to
any foreign bank account which you are going to
nominate. On this note, I decided to seek for a
reliable foreigner who will act as the foreign
beneficiary of the fund from the deceased by providing
his/her bank account where the fund will be
transferred for immediate investment on any viable
project as no one has come up to be the next of kin.

The banking ethics here does not allow such money to
stay more than six years without claim hence the money
will be recalled to the government treasury as
unclaimed after this long period of dormancy.

In view of this I got your contact through my personal
search to see if you can assist by providing your safe
bank account for the transfer or find a reliable
person who will be capable of receiving such amount in
his or her personal account. At the conclussion of the
transfer 65% of the fund will be for me, I will give
you 20% of the total transfer sum, 10% for charity
both in Africa and in your country while the remaining
5% will be set aside to settle expenses both parties
might incure during the transfer process.

Upon the receipt of your reply, I will send to you a

detailed information about the transaction. I will not
fail to bring to your notice that this business is
100% risk and trouble free and that you should not
entertain any fear as all modalities for fund transfer
can be finalized within 7 to 9 banking days, after you
apply to the bank as the beneficiary of the fund from
the deceased.

When you receive this letter. Kindly send me an e-mail
or you can call me or fax me. You should also include
your private fax and phone numbers for easy and safe
communication.

Tel: 874-763648313
: 874-763648314
Fax: 874-763648315

Respectfully yours,
Dr. jeff smith

29 Feb 2004 14:42

Dear Dr. Smith

Thank you for your letter. I must say that I am most flattered that from all the people, you chose to contact me and apparently by company Fixed Asynchronous Gaussian Generator Object Technology Solutions (F.A.G.G.O.T.S) has a decent reputation since I am considered reliable person for a transaction of such a large amount of money.
However, I must insist that this must be legitimate as I cannot afford to lose my reputation in front of my business partners.

I'm afraid I am a quite busy handling my business all over the world (also in South Africa) and traveling almost all the time, so it can be quite difficult to reach me by the phone and therefore I prefer email for now, but if you must, you can leave me voice mail to number 206-203-2989.

God bless,

Uuno Turhapuro
CEO
Fixed Asynchronous Gaussian Generator Object Technology Solutions Inc.

01 Mar 2004 01:53

Attn:Uuno Turhapuro,

I would like to confirm good receipt of your email. In
order to proceed in full confidence and complete trust
would you be so kind to provide me with a brief
information about you and to send me your full account
detail where you would like the fund to be
transferred, it can be an Empty account provided it is
still active and you are the only signatory to the
account. I will also like you to assure me that you
will not let me down either now or in the future as I
stongly hope to establish a strong long lasting
business relationship with you. On this ground we can
proceed in complete trust.

From here I can then, on your instructions, process
the transfer of the fund to any destination you
requested. Further more I would like you to assist us
in areas of investment. I would like to invest my own
share of the fund on real estate or any viable
project.

I would also like to stress that in this kind of
transaction one must possess the ability to start and
close deal very fast. Hence you should give priority
attention to this transaction. The fund for transfer
is of non drug, terrorist or criminal related. As such
this transaction is 100% free of risk and trouble.

The deceased, Late ANDREAS SCHRANNER from Munich,
Germany among others perished with all the members of
his families on 25th July,2000 CONCORDE plan clash
[Flight AF4590]. For further detail visit;

[1]
http://more.abcnews.go.com/sections/world/DailyNews/passengers000727.html

[2] http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Until his death he was the Manager of SCHRANNER GOLD
[pty]SA. He held this account with a prime bank were I
work, FIRSTRAND BANK S.A. I work with this bank,
FIRSTRAND BANK SOUTH AFRICA. My real name is KHEHLA
CLEOPAS SHUBANE.I USED THE NAME IN MY FIRST LETTER AS
A SECURITY MEASURE BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW YOU
BEFORE,and you should address me with that name in my
first letter of proposal through out our communication
in this business.

You can visit our bank website for verification of my
true identity at http://www.firstrand.co.za

On receipt of the above information and a strong
assurance from you that my trust and confidence in you
is not misplaced, I will then start to process the
transfer of the fund to your account without further
delay. I will forward an application for the release
of the said amount on your behalf to the bank. I will
also forward your account detail to the bank and to
the Ministry of Finance for Foreign Transfer Approval
in your favor. So as soon as the fund is approved for
transfer to your account, you as the foreign
beneficiary of the fund will be required to go to Our
Foreign Offshore Payment Centre clossest to you for
the signing of the final fund release order.

After the signing the fund will be transferred to your
account in your present while you are still in the
payment office and you will call your bank to
confirm receipt of the fund in your account. On
confirmation of the successful transfer of the fund to
your account, I will fly over with the next available
flight to meet you up so that I can go back with you
to your Bank for sharing and investment as I stated in
my first letter of proposal.

After the proper sharing of the first $6 Million, we
will be together in your country and I will have the
remaining balance of 10 Million transferred to your
account and we will also share the same as I stated
earlier.

At moment you should not tell your bank that large
amount is to be transferred into your account until
after you must have signed the final fund release
order form in Our Foreign Offshore Payment Office in
in Our Foreign Offshore Payment Office because that
will be the only time all the documents to back up the
transfer as a legitimate fund which does not originate
from drug, money laundry, terrorism or any other
illegal act will be ready in your name and will
accompany the fund to your account so that your bank
or your government will not question the transfer.

This information is highly confidential and you should
keep it only to yourself .

I would like to receive in return your acceptance to
proceed as suggested. Urgency is indeed needed.

Looking forward to a mutual beneficial partnership and
welcome you to South Africa would be my great
pleasure, I remain.

Yours faithfully,
Smith.

NOTE:I want to bring to your notice that, I am not
doing this business because of the huge sum involved
but because it's safe and risk free for both parties,
so I am assuring you triple fold that this business is
no kids play at all. As efficient, strong and reliable
as this transaction {INHERITANCE} inheritance is not a
crime all over the World, a day old baby can Inherit
as you know even a deaf & dump and the blind can as
well Inherit. Because they can not talk nor even read
but Documents and only documents will talk and say
for them.
An Inheritance like this nature, what will make it
crime is if you did not follow the Rules,
laws/Procedures of an INTERNAIONAL
INHERITANCE and as such I have made a master plan on
how this business should be followed.

01 Mar 2004 05:26

Dear Mr. Smith

Thank you for your fast reply. I can read between the lines that you are very straightforward and strict man as you want to go straight to business and I consider that a virtue.

I have bank accounts both at East Germany Trust Bank (EGTB) and Bank of Soviet Sosialistic Republics (BSSR).
However, I'm afraid I cannot give you my account numbers just yet as you haven't proven you identity yet.

My father always used to remind not to trust a man you haven't seen before and I think that is a very good advice. I assume you agree.
However, unfortunately passports can be easily forged so I would appreciate if you could provide me a photograph of holding a sign with my company's name on (using the abbreviation F.A.G.G.O.T.S as the whole name is too long) so that I can be certain that it is you (as the sign is unique - only we now what should read on it).

So: send me a photograph of you holding a sign that says "I LOVE FAGGOTS" and then - and only then - I will give you strict details about my bank accounts as I can consider you trustworthy.

Uuno Turhapuro
CEO
F.A.G.G.O.T.S Inc.

02 Mar 2004 05:02

Dear Uuno Turhapuro,

How are you together with your family,You should confirm the attachment below and get back to me immediately you receive it. Moreover should know that never a business suceed without building trust to each orther. Send any of your choice account even if it is emty account is ok.

Let me hear from you soonest.

Best Regard,

Smith.

02 Mar 2004 07:08

Dear Mr. Smith

I am sorry to inform that as a widow I have no family. My wife was killed by a phone book killer who broke in to our home and beat her to death while I was traveling (I was the benefiter in her last will but I had an alibi) and our only son was accidentally strangled with pantyhose while having an s/m session on drugs with his thirty years older mistress.

But now I have to ask that did you even read my last email? I specifically said that passport will not do because they can be easily faked. That is the reason why I asked the photograph.
Sending the wrong picture doesn't actually help building a trust between us.

So: send me a photograph of you holding a sign that says either "I LOVE FAGGOTS" or "SHAGGED BY FAGGOTS" and then you get the bank details.
The picture also goes to advertising purposes so I would greatly appreciate if you could do this favor for me.

Uuno Turhapuro
CEO
F.A.G.G.O.T.S. Inc.

No sign of him, better remind him about my existence.

04 Mar 2004 12:50

Dear Smith

I am still waiting to hear something from you.

I'm afraid I couldn't confirm your identity since the the passport wasn't what I asked for.

So: Are you still willing to do business with me or not and are you going to send me the photograph I asked for?
I want a photograph of you holding a sign that either says "I LOVE FAGGOTS" or "SHAGGED BY FAGGOTS" as the photograph might go to promotion purposes.
Don't forget to smile.

P.S. I am also planning to visit South Africa some time in the future because of my company so I am expecting to meet you too in the same trip as I will bring you some documents concerning the transfer.

Uuno Turhapuro
CEO
F.A.G.G.O.T.S. Inc.

05 Mar 2004 13:53

my,dear

I,am not the type .

Forget,it

---------------

Ok, so far so good, didn't fool him.
I guess I was waaaaaaayyyy too straightforward or asked the picture too quickly.
Or perhaps he actually read my mail. Smile

Nice try anyway.

Guest

At least they do speak a little bit of English Smile

Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2004 1:40 pm

email him back ...

he said he wasn't the type ....

so ask him to hold a sign saying L.E.Z.O's

and ask him is that more appropriate

Guest

Dr. Jeff Smith -- The Frugal Mugu!

(for my overseas brothers, there was a highly popular cooking show here in the States in the late 80's, early 90's called 'The Frugal Gourmet. The host was one Jeff Smith. The show ended when he was brought up on child molestation charges.)

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