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So... we're from the United Satanists Organization, where our motto is S.H.I.T. (Satanists Have Ideas Too) haven't gotten very far, wanted him to fill out our application and personality matrix (which will follow in a moment)

-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Sent: Sun, 20 Feb 2005 07:18:03 -0500
Subject: PLEASE ADVICE

FROM: JOSEPH KOMA
TELE: + 233 244 489475
E-MAIL: [email protected]

DEAR SIR,

MY NAME JOSEPH KOMA, THE ELDEST SON OF CHIEF JOHNNY S. KOMA, FROM
ZIMBABWE. THIS LETTER MIGHT COME AS A SURPRISE TO YOU ABOUT WHERE I GOT YOUR
CONTACT ADDRESS AND HOW I KNEW YOU. I GOT YOUR ADDRESS
FROM THE GHANA CHAMBERS OF TRADE INFORMATION CENTER HERE IN GHANA.

DURING THE CURRENT WAR AGAINST THE FARMERS IN ZIMBABWE FROM THE SUPPORTERS OF
OUR PRESIDENT ROBERT MUGABE TO CLAIM ALL THE WHITE-OWNED FARMS FOR HIS PARTY
MEMBERS AND HIS FOLLOWERS. MY FATHER WAS ONE OF THE BIGGEST FARMERS IN OUR
COUNTRY AND BECAUSE HE STONGLY OPPOSED MUGABE'S IDEAS, MUGABE'S SUPPORTERS
INVADED MY FATHER'S FARM AND BURNT EVERYTHING IN THE FARM, KILLING MY FATHER AND
MADE AWAY WITH A LOT OF ITERMS IN MY FATHER'S FARM.

BEFORE HIS DEATH, MY FATHER HAD DEPOSITED WITH ONE SECURITY COMPANY IN GHANA,
THE SUM OF US$25 (TWENTY FIVE NILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS). THIS WAS MONEY HE
PLANNED TO USE IN BUYING NEW MACHINERY AND TO SET UP A NEW FARM IN SWAZILAND.
AFTER THE DEATH OF MY FATHER, WE DECIDED TO ESCAPE TO AN AFRICA COUNTRY CALLED
GHANA IN WEST AFRICA, BECAUSE OF CONTINUED HARASSMENT FROM MUGABE AND HIS
SUPPORTERS.

AS A FAMILY, WE DECIDED TO CONTACT A REPUTABLE INDIVIDUAL THAT WILL
ASSIST US TO MOVE THIS MONEY OUT OF GHANA (AFRICA) AND INVEST THE SAID SUM INTO
ANY LUCRATIVE BUSINESS VENTURE OF OUR CHOICE THAT WILL BE PROFITABLE. FOR US.

YOUR ROLE IN THIS TRANSACTION, WE HAVE AGREED TO OFFER YOU 15% OF THE TOTAL SUM,
AND 5% WILL BE MAPPED OUT FOR ANY EXPENSES THAT MAY BE INCURRED IN THE COURSE OF
THIS TRANSACTION AND 80% WILL BE FOR ME AND MY FAMILY WHICH WILL BE INVESTED
IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR AGRICULTURE OR THEREABOUT.

ALL WE WANT YOU TO DO IS TO ACT AS THE SOLE BENEFICIARY TO THE FUND, AND TO
ASSIST US CLAIM THE FUND FROM THE SECURITY COMPANY. AS SOON AS YOU HAVE SECURED
THE FUND WE WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU CAN HELP US MOVE TO YOUR COUNTRY AS
PERMANENT RESIDENTS. YOU CAN CONTACT ME ON THE ABOVE TELEPHONE OR EMAIL ADDRESS.

NOTE THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% RISK FREE YOU SHOULD HOWEVER TREAT THIS
TRANSACTION WITH ABSOLUTE CONFIDENTIALITY. ALL RELEVANT DOCUMENTS TO MAKE CLAIM
OF THIS FUND ARE WITH ME AS THE NEXT OF KIN.
JOSEPH KOMA
(For the family)

Guest

my e-mail is just an e-mail i have on AOL where people think i am a perverted gay male (i'm really a perverted female). I put it to better use:

[email protected] wrote:

Dear Mr. Koma,
I have just finished reading your email and was deeply touched by your situation. I don't usually respond to emails from total strangers, but your story left quite an impression on me. I feel for the loss and would love to help in any way that I can. I, personally, do not have very many resources at my disposal, but I am a part of a very charitable and confidential organization that may be of some aid. Sadly, due to some past incidents of fraudulent claims we are unable to help non-members.
If you are interested in learning more about United Satanist Organization I would be happy to explain our goals as well as answer any questions you may have. If, after receiving this information, you would like to join in our cause, I would help in any way possible to ensure your membership approval.

Best wishes,
Rick James

Quote:

-----Original Message-----
From: joseph koma <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tue, 22 Feb 2005 13:18:22 +0000 (GMT)
Subject: Re: PLEASE ADVICE

I really don’t understand what you are saying. am trying to see if you can give me a helping hand to get my father deposited fund lying with the security out from Africa because presently we are on a cross road.

Regards
Joseph koma

[email protected] wrote:
Mr. Koma,
I certainly can not assist in moving money, but as stated in my previous e-mail i know of an organization that can.

-Rick

Quote:

-----Original Message-----
From: joseph koma <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 09:08:04 +0000 (GMT)
Subject: Re: PLEASE ADVICE

thanks for the effort you are rendering towards this transaction,i will surely not dissapiont you in any way but please explain to me better how would they want to see that this transaction can be done without any governmental involvement.

please i need a brife explanation.and what will be there percentage for assisting me.
i really appreciate your effort.can you call me or can i reach you.

regards
joseph

Joseph!

My name is Sermon Orlando Bloom. I am the financial director of United Satanists Organization. We have absolutely no government involvement and are a private organization. Unfortunately, i can not assist in any financial transfers to non members. If you would like to become an oficial member of USO i will be happy to forward the information to you.

Sincerely,
Sermon Orlando Bloom

Quote:

hi,Orlando
compliment of the day friend,sequel to your last mail.i did request for your membership form since you request will be better for me at the moment.am waitting to hear from you soon.
regards
joseph koma

Mr. Koma,
Attached are the forms for the United Satanists Organization. We require these to be in Ink for our records, so please print these forms off your computer and fill them out. Scan them back into your computer and send them to us. We also need a picture of you with our initiation symbol drawn on you. A picture with a red line going from your forhead to the tip of your nose is all we need!. We look forward to having you as a member! Its so nice to have another member to support our cause and action! Once a member we can help you with any and all financial issues. BUT we have to have this information to be able to give you assistance and to cover our rumps!!

Sermon Orlando Bloom

Guest

and here is the personality matrix Laughing

the application is kind of bland

UNITED SATANISTS ORGANIZATION
S.H.I.T
(Satanist Have Ideas Too)
Online Client Questionnaire

Please print this application and fill it in with BLUE ink. Scan this application back into a �Word� File and send back it back to us.

Date: ___________________

Full Name: _________________________________________
Last First Middle

Spouse Name: ___________________________________________
Last First Middle

1. Do you anticipate using any money given to you for terrorist activities? YES / NO

2. Have you ever been in a terrorist organization? YES / NO

3. Do you support terrorism? YES / NO

4. What is 2 + 2? ____________

5. Have you ever been a member of any boy band or otherwise musical group? YES / NO

6. Do you anticipate gaining this money through fraud? YES / NO

7. Are you an honest person? YES / NO

8. Have you ever committed an act of Fraud? YES / NO

9. Have you ever put your shoes on the wrong feet? YES / NO

10. Do you bathe regularly? YES / NO

11. Have you ever told a lie? YES / NO

12. Have you ever chopped down a cherry tree? YES / NO
13. Are you a member of the United Negro Fund? YES / NO

14. Do you like Bill Cosby? YES / NO

15. How about Johnny Cochran? YES / NO

16. Does his name remind you of a cockroach? YES / NO

17. Do you admire OJ Simpson? YES / NO

18. Do you think he killed his wife? YES / NO

19. Have you ever killed anybody? YES / NO

20. Did you enjoy it? YES / NO

21. They had it coming, didn�t they? YES / NO

22. Do you like Canada? YES / NO

23. Do you have any Canadian Friends? YES / NO

24. Do you think Canada should be nuked? YES / NO

Please remember these questions are to gain knowledge of your personality in whole and determine if you are a qualified candidate for our funds. These questions are merely determining your personality matrix and there is no right or wrong answers. Please keep answering them as honestly as you have been doing.

25. Have you ever considered getting a nuke from the Black Market? YES/ NO

26. To bomb Canada? YES / NO

27. Is your Favorite Color Clear? YES / NO

28. Do you like to eat cheetos? YES / NO

29. How many sexual partners have you had that are male? ________

30. Female? _________

31. Other: _____________

32. Do you have any friends that are a midget? YES / NO

33. Do you have any friends that are a pirate? YES / NO

34. Do you have any friends that are a ninja? YES / NO

35. Do you have any imaginary friends? YES / NO

36. Have you ever committed an act of bestiality? YES / NO

37. On lonely nights? YES / NO

38. Do automatic doors refuse to open for you? YES / NO

39. Can you see yourself in the dark? YES / NO

40. Do you glow in the dark? YES / NO

41. How big is the length of your shadow? YES / NO

42. Have you ever had a sex change or thought about having a sex change? YES / No

43. Do you anticipate using the money to fund a sex change? YES/ NO

44. Do you own a sex ox? YES / NO

45. Are you happy with your current long distance carrier? YES / NO

46. Have you ever played Leapfrog with a unicorn? YES / NO

47. Did we ask you enough questions? YES / NO

by signing below you certify you and only you took this personality matrix. The results will be given to you upon acceptance of your application.

___________________________________ ______________________
Signature Date

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