Not very funny, but I did waste the lad's time

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Here's one I recently ended (although I am baiting them a bit more sucessfully from a different account)

I just took a mail from the surplus forum, and sent them the following response:

Quote:

Hello. My name is , and I am the head of the I'd like to help grow your ministry, but I need to know more about your doctrine first. Do you have a statement of faith you could email me to peruse?

Mugu responds:

Quote:

Dear ,

Thanks for your Mail.

Well,as Christians I do not Believe that there are Different Doctrines than there is Only One True God and he sent his Son Jesus Christ of Nazareth to die for our Sins that through him we are Safe.I Preach the Good News of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.I do not Understand what you meant by "Statement of Faith".I would like you to Explain.

Well,I will say that at this Juncture that you Provide for me the Following Informations about yourself so that we can Effect the Beneficiary to your Name and as such you can Lay Claims to the Funds.

1)Your Full Legitimate Names,
2)Your Contact Address,
3)Your Telephone Number,
4)Your Fax Number,

Please,Upon the Confirmation of the Reciept of this Mail I would want you to Respond Immediately.

God Bless you as we Together in God's Strength Accomplish this Task.

Yours' In Christ

.

I insist that he sends me a Statement of Faith...

Quote:

A "Statement of Faith" is a document which sets forth those things your church believes. Generally speaking, it includes such topics as (but not limited to) The nature of God, The person of Jesus, end-times events, prophecy, attairing salvation, Bible positions on medical procedures, among other topics. I would really like to see such a document before we continue on with this transaction. I need to put my mind at rest, that your theology is spot-on.

Mugu replies...

Quote:

Please Find Attached Our Statement of Faith.

Please Acknowledge the Reciept the Mail of this Mail.As I will like you to Provide me with the Informations I asked from you in my Initial Mail to you.

Yours' In Christ,

He attaches an .rtf file...

Quote:

We Believe the Holy Bible, both the Old and New Testaments, is the Inspired Word of God, the Inerrant and Entire Revelation of God's will for Salvation, and the Divine and Final Authority for the Christian Faith and Life ( 2 Timothy 3:15-17).

We Believe that Man was created in the image of God; that he sinned and thereby incurred not only physical death but also that spiritual death which is separation from God; and that all human beings are born with a sinful nature and, in the case of those who reach moral responsibility, become sinners in thought, word and deed.

We believe that the Lord Jesus Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, as a representative and substitutionary sacrifice and that all who believe in Him are justified on the ground of His shed blood.

We believe in His sinless life, His miraculous ministry, His substitutionary death on the cross as atonement for our sins, His bodily resurrection from the dead, and his ascension into heaven to serve as our intercessor before the Father (John 1:14; Hebrews 7:25,26)

We believe water baptism is by immersion, and must be observed by all who truly repent & believe on Christ as he commanded. ( Matt. 28:19; Acts 10:47,48; Acts 2:38; 1 Pet. 3:21 Rom. 6:4,5)

Entire sanctification and a life set apart from the world is God's will for all believers. Sanctification is something that should be earnestly pursued by living in obedience to God's word. (Rom. 8:3-4; 1 Thes. 5:23; Heb. 12:14; 1 Pet. 1:14-16; 1 John 2:6; 3:3

We believe in divine healing and prayer for the sick. Deliverance from sickness was provided in the atonement. (Isaiah 53:4-5; Matt. 8:16,17; Mark 16:18; John 5:14; James 5:14,15)

We believe the only true basis of Christian fellowship is Christ's Agape love, which is greater than any differences we possess and without which we have no right to claim ourselves Christians.

We believe in the blessed hope and return of Christ. The resurrection of those who have fallen asleep together with those who are alive and remain, is the imminent and blessed hope of the Church. (1 Thes. 4:16; Rom. 8:23; Titus 2:13; 1 Cor. 15:51,52)

This is our Statement of Faith.

Yours' In Christ.

Can you spot the problem with it? Neither could I until a fellow forum denzien here informed me this was stolen from another website...

Quote:

I sincerely apologize, but we cannot do this transaction with you. It is apparent you just searched the internet for "Statement of Faith" and took the first english one you found, as it is word for word exactly as this one:

"Thou shalt not bear false witness..."

It is a shame, as we are keen on making generous donations to worthy overseas ministries.

I bid you good day.

Mugu denies his sin...

Quote:

Dear Elder M. William Shake,

Thanks for your Mail.

Well,it's a Pity that it you said that I copied Word for Word from a Ministry I do not even know of.I have to tell you the Truth I did not Copy from any Ministry as that is our Statement of Faith.

I am not that Dumb that if I want to Copy A Statement of Faith that even if I search the Internet I will go ahead and Copy Word for Word because certainly I know that I not dealing with an Illetrate here.

So,if you saying that I copied A Statement of Faith from the Internet and as such you are not going to help,well I have nothing to say than Thank you for your Correspondence so far and I pray that God Almighty give you the Wisdom to know the Truth that I did not Copy from the Internet.

May God Bless the Church and you.Amen.

I reply

Quote:

At least do this:

Check out the link I sent you, and compare the
document you sent me, and then tell me again you did
not copy the document.

And the Mugu has told the truth on one thing.. He's not dealing with an illiterate..

Quote:

Thanks for your Electronic Mail.

I Checked the Link the first time you gave it to me and found out what you meant exactly.But what I am telling you is that I did not copy the Statement of Faith from any Link whatsoever.

I Reapeat I am not that Dumb that if I want to Copy a Thing I will Copy it Word for Word for I know I am not Dealing with an Illiterate here.

So,bear In Mind that I am telling you the Truth.If you still go ahead to say that it's the same thing well I have nothing to say but to tell you that I Appreciate your Writing me.

I Pray God give you the Wisdom to follow up this in his Ways.

God Bless your Church and you.

I let it sit for the weekend, and send him back a letter, noting that the board of elders isn't happy with the fiasco..

Quote:

I trust you had a good weekend. Our services went extremely well.

I talked with the brothers here, and we have decided to go along with your proposal given one condition, due to the "statement of faith" debacle. We would like a photo of your elders, holding a sign which reads "she lighted off the camel Genesis 24:64" Please make sure we can read the sign. Upon reciept of this, we will start the transaction in earnest

Guest

Continuing...

Not willing to send a pic of the elders? What kind of scam is he pulling on us?

Quote:

Thanks for your Prompt Response to my Mail.

I am very sorry that I cannot do that which you just ask me to as I do not know you and I will not be willing to Send a Picture of my Elders of the Church.

Please,Inform me if you know that you cannot Proceed without the Picture then I will know my next line of Action which is to Look for someone esle that has Trust to help me in Carrying out the Noble Task.

I Earnestly wait for your Response.

I ask him "Whazzup wit dat?

Quote:

And why is this a problem? You don't know me, yet you require a lot of information about myself and my church which I was more than willing to provide.

Please reconsider, as this would be a blessing to everyone involved.

He refuses to answer...

Quote:

Dear Elder William Shake,

Thanks for your Mail as I recieved it in Good Health.

I will Repeat it Boldly,"I WILL NOT SEND ANY PICTURE".

If you feel that without sending the Picture that you will not help me in recieving the Funds then I am afraid to say that I will have to look for someone else to help me in Fulfilling this Noble Task.

So,if you still Insist on the Picture,Please let me know so that I know my next line of Action.

God Bless you and your Church.

I question his integrity..

Quote:

So, you're telling us that you have something to hide?

Remember, if you are bearing false witness "All shall
be revealed"

He responds:

Quote:

I got your Response.

I will say this,I have nothing to hide whatsoever.So there will be Nothing to be Revealed.

I just can't tell my Elders to take some kind of Picture.
It sounds very funny. (Shake's comment: That's what I was hoping for)

Please,I will like us to continue with the Task or if you still insist on the Picture I cannot and will not send any to you for Verification or whatsoever.

I feel if really that you want to help you can seek the Face of God in this.

Please,I Earnestly wait for your Reply.Please when replying let me know if you are still interested or not.

God Bless the Church and you.

I cast doubt upon the situation...

Quote:

Let me explain my side of the situation...

When the elders at my church saw the evidence that
made it look like you sent a forged statement of
faith, they were naturally concerned. They only
requested that you send the picture as a sign of
trust.

This whole situation is looking fishy to them, and I
must say it is to me too.

Once again, what are you trying to hide? If you have
nothing to hide, then the picture would be no problem.

Gah.. Mugu won't crack...

Quote:

Thanks for your Mail and your Concern.

I must tell you again.I will not send any Picture whatsoever to you with any sign whatsoever.

You have every Course to be doubtful but you must follow your Instinct in this or rather seek the Face of God because before anything is done we have to seek the Face of God to know if it's worth doing or not.

So,at this time I will ask you if you will be able to recieve the Funds.

So at this time, I ask...

Quote:

If you say you have nothing to hide, then why are you being so defensive? I doubt your knowledge of scripture. "Your sin shall find you out"

Mugu keeps on the defensive...

Quote:

Well,I must tell you again that I have nothing to Hide and Please as e Respected Man of God don't ever use words like "Your Sins shall find you out" because I have not sinned and you don't have the right to Judge because you will be Judged First.

Is it a hard thing to say if you will be willing to help or not?

Uh, if you won't prove to me who you are, then yes, it is a hard thing.

Quote:

I repeat:

We are willing to take care of this situation in a
most generous way. But the elders of my church are
not ready to release funds until they recieve what
they requested. We have done everything you requested
of us so far, and yet, you have not given us a token
of trust. Look, at this point I am willing to accept
a photo of just yourself, holding a sign as requested
in a previous email. I'll explain it to the other
elders. It would be nice to see who we are working
with. Certainly you must be thinking the same thing.

Please respond.

Apparently, he isn't thinking the same thing...

Quote:

Thanks for your Mail.

Please,as per your Request for the Pictures of my Elders in Chruch carrying a Placard,which I declined I still stand by that.

Now,you say I should come with a Picture of myself carrying a Placard.

Please,Note that I am not on Bended Knees begging you that you should help me in Recieving this Money.It's just a Favour that I am asking of you which you also stand to Gain from.

I will on this Note also tell you to do the same,then in return I will only send you my Picture "No Placard" because I am not Begging.

So,Please do the same and I will reciprocate with only my Picture.

I pray God gives you the Wisdom to handle this.

God Bless you and your Church.

Well, that's that, I guess...

Quote:

I just talked it over with my elders, and they said
that is not possible, because of the fiasco with the
statement of faith.

Pity, as we had a substantial amount dedicated for
this cause. We have several other situations, and we
will just add the money we had set aside for you to
the $35,000.00 we are sending to the
ministry.

Sorry we could not do business with you.

And the mugu gets a last word...

Quote:

Thanks for your Mail.

I Quite Appreciate the Effort you have put so far but my Beloved Brethren I also can see that we cannot Work together.

I Bid you farewell in the Usman Bello Ministry Transaction.

Thanks for your Co-Operation.

God Bless you and your Church as you complete the Noble Task of Ministry

I may try to find a way to ressurect this one...

Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2005 9:42 pm

Actually, I thought it was pretty amusing. Especially the combo of Random Capitalization and the ridiculous way he tried to deny stealing his statement of faith. And I loved the way he declined the picture-taking opportunity.

Why not create yourself a new persona, contact the lad and tell him that the board of elders is undergoing a procedure to excommunicate the lad and his entire church, if they don't do whatever silly thing you desire? Warn that if they are excommunicated, you won't be sending the annual stipend from the central board on the due date next month... or some such. Those central governing boards don't take stealing statements of faith lightly...

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