My Crap Reply to 419 Emails

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Subject: I need your Help

My name is Bob Onobolomanbami. I am the son of Charles Onobolomanbami, now deceased. Many years ago my father worked in a far away land called Los Angeles. He worked as a plumber all of his life. While so working unbeknownst to me and my mother or two brothers my father amassed a fortune by hoarding Crap. He cornered the market on Crap. He had more Crap than any other human being had a right to have. My father, you might say, was the �King of Crap�.

Anyway, it turns out that just before his death my father had drawn a map pointing out the location of his Crap. While he was in the hospital on his death bed he called me close and whispered to me the following words � son, after I die you will be full of Crap � here take this map�. And then, my father passed on. Two things then happened. I followed my fathers map to the Crap and I became full of Crap, just as my father had predicted. Well anyway, the authorities in Los Angeles had by this time passed an Anti Crap measure. Since Los Angeles was such a big place they had to put the Anti Crap measure on different ballots. So in some parts of the City it was known as Proposition C and in others it was Proposition R and Proposition A and Proposition P. When all the voting was completed it was unanimous - C.R.A.P. had passed!

Well now you might ask what has this got to do with me you? Since Crap had now been banned it quickly became �contrabanned�. Thus my Crap became even more valuable than it was before the Crap ban. I now have amassed a fortune from the original Crap turning it into the equivalent of $13 Million Dollars in Crap. Now, here is the problem. As you can imagine $13 Million Dollars worth of Crap takes up a lot of space. Since the Anti Crap Ban was put in place I could not just load it up on trucks and take it out of Los Angeles and then out of the Country to Nigeria. So, I have buried the Crap in various locations in Los Angeles, just like my father had done.

I planned on digging up the Crap a little at a time and smuggling it out of the Country to Nigeria, my home Country, where I currently reside. You see I found out the authorities were on my rear and about to grab my Crap when I escaped to Nigeria. I have now been in Nigeria a number of years and got your name from a �friend� who wishes to remain anonymous. This �friend� assures me that you are of the utmost integrity and honesty and would not attempt to cheat me out of my Crap.

Now, if you would indulge me a little further and be so kind as to help me get my Crap I would be most pleased to share my Crap with you, 50 � 50. The authorities know what I look like and now after 9-11 there is no way I can sneak back into the Country as the borders are too well guarded. Please sir, this matter is of the Utmost Urgency and requires the greatest amount of Secrecy. We must work quickly before my Crap turns to SHIT. No one must learn about the whereabouts of my Crap.

If you could help me please respond either by emailing me at the return address above or calling my Nigerian Cell Phone at: IAMSOFULLOFCRAPICANNOTHOLDITANYMORE

Sincerely, and with Best Wishes and Kindest Regards, Your Humble and Obedient Servant

Bob Onobolomanbami
Post Office Box �CRAP�
Nigeria

Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2005 5:46 am

Welcome tennisman. You get an "A" for creativity. Let us know if anyone bites at the crap.

Guest

But the question is: Is it 100% crap free?

Guest

I think my Crap was too much for them to chew. So far no bites But I enjoy the Crap out of sending it to them!

419Eater is my life Joined: 12 Oct 2004 Posts: 264

maybe its just a little long for them, most mugus stop reading after the first few lines. their brains cant handle much more at one time.

try shortening it, use some of the stuff in your first reply once you hook one.

Guest

Yeah, put something shorter...like this:

Dear Sir/Madam,

There is a lot of crap. I want crap. Get me crap, you can have crap too.

Guest

Yes guys, I know I was too verbose and no one is going to fall for a Load of Crap. I should have just put a little Crap on my hook. But I had fun writing it. And luckily with the stroke of a key or the click of a mouse I can dump a Load of Crap any time I want. Actually I think it has worked somewhat. The number of Idiots writing me for money has dropped way down. From about 10 a month to maybe 1 or 2. So maybe the Shit has Hit! Thanks for the replies!

Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2005 2:56 am

The crap we're talking here, is it absolute crap or just slightly crap Smile

_________________
Volvo Wiki

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 13 Jan 2005 Posts: 8

@tennisman1939

you're just like me... I like your 'fun game'!!!

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