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 Reverend Quin and his nigerian parish

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sparky905
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PostPosted: Sat May 23, 2020 11:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I hope the cracks in the parging are not symbolic of dissent in the membership.
This lad is special.

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Birlic
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PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2020 6:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ Yeap, exactly! Laughing Laughing Laughing


- Late last night he gathered his parishioners and performed "the Admiration of the Monument". Laughing
- Today there will be a meeting of the Elders of the Church and I am very sure that the Committee will approve the Monument of Faith and recommend the last stage of the Admission process: the Baptism Ceremony. I have no doubt that it will be something special. Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil

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bikeatl77
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PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2020 7:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Is the animal depicted on the white side supposed to be The Holy Lamb Itself? It looks more like a wild boar to me but both are pretty dang delicious so whatever. I will say that if it IS the Lamb then Quinn is committing a major sin by casting his mortal shadow upon a sacred immortal symbol in pics 2 and 3. I wonder what all they talked about during this most Holiest of Holy celebrations! Very cool Razz
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Claus Shaeve
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PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2020 8:30 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I thought he was doing some half-assed shadow puppet show! Although doing an adult version of Donald Duck is probably not appropriate for such a sacred monument as this Very Happy

Top quality baiting sirs!

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Linoline
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PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2020 12:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

5:29 Quin
Quote:
dear sister Dave good morning how was your night and how is fatherEd doing today today hopefully he is OK now we have been praying
for him to recover quickly and pls acknowledge the receive of the
picture sorry it came late due to my phone was so bad


13:00 Sister Dave
Quote:
Dear brother Quin,

Thank you for your message. Father Ed has returned home yesterday but he didn't regain all his strength yet. It will probably take some time for him to recover fully, but we thank God that He decided to spare him from this unfortunate virus. Glory to the Holy Lamb! Hallelujah!
I received your pictures and I have given them to the Elders to review today. When father Ed has the strength he will also look at them before they will allow proceeding with the baptism ceremony.
We will get back to you with more information later today or tomorrow.

Be blessed
Sister Dave


We have a very obedient idiot who has done everything we asked of him so far as long as we kept reminding him of the money that would be coming is way soon. And don't forget he showed interest in becoming BOA, so after the baptism there might be another special task for him ahead.

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Birlic
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PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2020 8:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

16.45 - Reverend Ed wrote to our moron:
Quote:
Dear Quin, dear my son,
I am glad to see such beautiful materials that prove how strong your Faith is and how well you can lead the people around you. Surely you will be a Reverend full of Heavenly Grace and with certainty that the future holds only pleasant surprises for you. Son, I'm very proud of you!

Today's meeting of the Church Elders' Committee looked at all of these materials in depth, and our dear secretary Dave read for us also some of your messages. We are pleased to tell you that the vote was unanimous and that everyone decided for you to continue the Admission process with the last stage: The Sacred Ceremony of your Baptism. Congratulations my son, congratulations!

Son, the way of the Cross is long and difficult, but at its end the Salvation awaits you! The Baptism Ceremony is practically the End and the Beginning, it is that sacred moment in which the Holy Spirit descends on you and offers you the Heavenly powers that you will need for your future career as a Reverend. All those around you will be touched by Holiness and will feel the power of the Holy Lamb.

Brother Quin, I understand very well that the whole Ceremony has already been explained to you by our dear sister Dave. Of course I will be here for any other necessary explanations. Please tell me what you understood about the Baptism Ceremony and ask me everything you want me to explain.

Sister Dave sent me your best wishes (when I was in the hospital) and told me that you had prayed for my health. Thank you, on behalf of all the members of the Board of Directors of the Holy Lamb Community!
Be blesses, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
Rev. Ed

===

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PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2020 8:12 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Sunda
17:18 Quin
Quote:
dear sister Dave good afternoon how was the service hope it was
great am so happy to hear that father Ed is back home I pray that
healing shall be complete and permanent IJN Amen
thanks brother Quin


Monday
4:48
Quote:
dear sister Dave good morning how was your night thanks for the good
work you have been doing on my behalf am so grateful God bless you
richly ,pls sister dave can you pls forward to me how the baptismal
ceremony will look like pls
brother quin


9:11 Sister Dave
Quote:
Dear brother Quin,

You could have gone back to my message from April 12 that I have sent to you with all the instructions for the Baptism ceremony. I will copy that part of the message for you below. If you have any questions or need guidance please contact father Edor me.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

<copy of the instructions>

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Birlic
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PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2020 8:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Monday

- I don't think he slept very well, because he sent me the next message at 04.45. Laughing
Quote:
dear chancellor Edward good morning how was your night sir am so happy
to read from my father in the Lord am so thankful for restoring my
father in the Lord fully thanks for your word of encouragement sir may
our good Lord protect you sir.pls sir pls sir can you pls explain to
me better on what to do better sister Dave has send the process to
me before but it been long pls sir can I get it back thanks for your
understanding sir
your son in the Lord Quin

09.17 - My old Chancellor writes to our dear reverend Quin:
Quote:
God bless you, dear my son Quin!

The Baptism Ceremony is the last step of the ladder that goes up to the Gate of access to your spirituality; just as John the Baptist baptized those who came to join the Faith.
It is a symbolic moment that marks your transition to the position of Reverend, as a full member of the Holy Lamb Community. Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!

Basically, the Baptism Ceremony is a public event that your entire team must attend. The ceremony consists of the following steps:
- Everyone must be present there, around the Sacred Pyramid. All the parishioners of your parish, all those who have helped so far.
- You will need to choose 2 assistants to help you in the Baptism process. They will stand behind you, permanently, throughout the ceremony and will sing hymns of glory.
- You will kneel and say (aloud and with a clear voice) the prayer "Our Father". In your arms must be that sacred chicken.
- After you finish the prayer, you will raise both arms up and look at Heaven. The chicken will be held in your right hand.
- You will speak in an extremely clear voice the following "sacred words" for 3 times:

"I baptize myself in the spirit of the Holy Lamb!
I will offer milk and honey to those who will follow ME!
Glory to the Holy Lamb!"


- At the same time, behind you will be those 2 assistants who will pour "milk and honey" on your head, as in the Exodus - chapter 3.17 - when Moses promises to his tribe that he will offer them milk and honey: "And I have promised you that I will bring you up from the misery of Egypt to the land of the Canaanites, Hethites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites... a land flowing with milk and honey."

- The whole ceremony must be photographed and filmed, from as many angles and positions as possible.
- All the sacred moments of your Baptism must be clearly seen on photos/video and must be well documented because it will remain in the electronic archives of the church.
- Instead of real milk and honey you will use white paint (to symbolize "the milk") and yellow paint (to symbolize "the honey"). 10-liter buckets of white paint and 10- liter bucket of yellow paint will be enough for the entire ceremony.

I hope that now everything is clear and that you have understood what needs to be done. The ceremony must be done in the morning (not at night!)
If you have any more questions, I'm here. For small details, stay in touch with our dear Secretary Dave.


Unde the Grace of the Holy Lamb, be blessed!
Rev. Eduard

===

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bobdemol
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PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2020 9:37 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ Hmmm, 20 liters of paint instead of milk and honey Shocked

I hope you didn't push it TOO far Laughing

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Birlic
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PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2020 10:56 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ I do not understand what you mean; It is known that the Faith requires sacrifices, isn't it? How else could he become a true servant of the Holy Lamb? Laughing Laughing Laughing
Especially since this is not the end of his religious career. Both Linoline and I intend to offer the idiot a job as Bishop of Africa ... in short, we want to get him tattooed. Laughing Laughing Laughing


Let's not forget what was his first message to me (end of January):
Quote:
Dear Sir,

I am a senior accountant with the federal ministry of aviation here in
Nigeria. I got your contact through a friend of mine who is a diplomat and has once work in your country. Proposal i want you to assist me in transferring some fund out of my country

This money came from contract over invoicing and inflation, of
Contract sum. I became the senior accountant of my ministry not long ago .
When i assumed office i discovered this money floating in my
ministry's Account.

My investigation disclosed that the money was meant for foreign
Contractors who did some works in my ministry in the past. These
Foreign Contractors have been paid in full but this money still remains as a debt in our account books.

I have decided to secretly transfer this money out of my country and
to Convert this money to my private use. The safest way of doing this, is to transfer this money overseas on the pretext that it is being paid to Contractors that are being owed by my ministry. i will give you more information when i get your respond thanks.

best regards
Sani.

Laughing Laughing Laughing

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PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2020 5:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ to be fair Quinn probably has a bunch of paint left over from the monument so doing the task this way saves him money. Plus, it's a bit ungodly to dump copious amounts of perfectly good milk and honey on the ground in an area of relatively high poverty Laughing
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Birlic
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PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2020 9:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ LOL! Very Happy

Two messages from the reverend... he's worried and, for the first time, he's asking for money. I'll answer him tomorrow.

18.05

Quote:
dear sir chancellor Edward good evening
thanks for your mail
now I understanding you well
hope you are much better now
pls be strong for me
thanks
your son in the Lord
Quin

and
22.19
Quote:
dear sir chancellor Edward good evening how was your day
pls sir I want to understand you clearly am I going to use our normal Lords
prayer before saying the word of the baptism pls explain better to me
(our father who at in heaven how low be thy name thy kingdom come thy
will be done on earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily
bread and forgive us our trespass as we forgive those who trespass
against us lead us not into temptation but deliver us from all evil
for this thy kingdom thy power and thy glory for ever and ever Amen)
and also Sir
pls I don't know if there is anyway the church can help us here for this
great ceremony to be able to cook small meal for my
followers and also rent video courage pls no amount is to small pls
help your son am very rich for now am indebted to people ever since I
started this process
pls sir I will be grateful if my request will be
granted remain blessed
your son in the Lord
Quin

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Birlic
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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2020 8:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Tuesday

09.00
- My old Chancellor writes to Quin (sister Dave is in CC):
Quote:
Dear Quin, dear my son,
Yes, that Lords' prayer is correct and it must be said before "the sacred words".
- Remember that sacred words must be spoken clearly and extremely loudly, and that you must repeat them 3 times.
- During this time, your assistants (behind you) must pour milk and honey on your head. You will need a considerable amount of liquids, so be well prepared.


The Baptism Ceremony represents the official inauguration of your Parish and your appointment as Local Reverend. I hope you have already discussed with our Secretary Dave about the Courtesy Parcel, as well as about the financial installation bonus. We will need to transfer the money by bank transfer, so we will need you to indicate a bank account where you will receive the first $10,000.

Sister Dave, please tell me if the list of products needed for Quin's parish has been finalized and if things are clear here.
I do not want to have any delay in this regard.

Blessings,
Rev. Eduard

===

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bikeatl77
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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2020 8:30 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Self-baiter wrote:
...no amount is to small...

Awesome! Enjoy your $0.00 (ZERO DOLLARS UNITED STATE). Jackass Laughing
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sparky905
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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2020 11:34 am Reply with quoteBack to top

He is definitely "bishop" material.
If he is appointed bishop he will need a staff. Perhaps the church will consider accepting short videos from prospective applicants for these jobs......and a monthly salary of course. They may even qualify for the monthly "sustained giving" allotment from the church.

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Birlic
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PostPosted: Wed May 27, 2020 9:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ LOL! Laughing Laughing Laughing

Our reverend Quin:
Quote:
sir chancellor Edward good evening how was your day and how is your health now hope you are getting much better now
as for the account it as been sent since April as for now I don't have any money on me again I have so much debts on me now
since the church are not ready to do any thing for me to be able to perform my baptism ceremony it all means it will have to wait till am able to gather my self again
hope you people will bear with me because Nigeria is not like outside country

thanks for your understanding
your son Quin

Sister Dave:
Quote:
Dear brother Quin,

The funds will be sent to you shortly, however our church protocols forbid us to send money for your parish before it is officially registered, and we can do that after you finish the initiation. I hope you can understand this. The Lord brings trials on our way and only the strong ones will remain standing and shine in the Glory of the Lamb. Overcome these small setbacks and I promise you that everything will work out perfectly and you will receive exactly what you deserve after your hard work.

Be blessed
Dave

===

_________________
Let the lads come to me!

- A lot of Closed lad accounts & many Vcamera ; Whip ; Jack Boot ; Goat ; 4x The Church of the Old Gods ; 3x Sand Timer ; Golden Pith ; 35x Safari ; 🍰 ;
- My travel agency: Accra-Tamale; Akure-Kamba; Akure-Bohicon; Bamako-Siguiri; Banjul-Basse; Banjul-Dakar; Banjul-Karang; BeninCity-Lagos; BeninCity-Seme; Brikama-Basse; Brikama-Dakar; 2xBrikama-Karang; Brussels-Lausanne; Cotonou-Accra; Cotonou-Djougou; Idiroko-Aneho; 2xIdiroko-Cotonou; Idiroko-HillaCondji; Lagos-Abuja; Lagos-Bamako; Lagos-Bida; 7xLagos-Cotonou; Lagos-Lome; 2xLagos-Seme; Owerri-Abuja; Warri-Cotonou;
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