Chicken Man # 4

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Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

Last year a group of us had some fun with some aspiring chicken farmers from Lagos who decided to travel in search of riches sent by a compassionate church group. The Chicken Man # 2 was a wonderful example of lad greed and naivete.
Since then a couple of other lads have been "turned" from scamming, to following their passion of being the best chicken farmer in Nigeria. The Outreach Committee of the church is anxious to help. We had Chicken Man # 3 ready to go on safari when such activities were suspended here due to the virus. He is still in touch, but is wisely waiting out the virus in safety.

Now we have Chicken Man #4 on the cusp of a safari. Unlike #3, he wants his package delivered now and is quite demanding. So in order to let him have his own way, and still follow current safari protcols, we are sending a package that will start on its journey to the lad, but be caught up in the confusing world of international shipping and virus issues somewhere out of reach of everyone. It will be too far away to recall the package, and too far away for the lad to retrieve it. With his cash tucked inside his "welcome package" the church committee cannot send him money via WU, MG or Bitcoin or anything since we committed the cash to the package. Hopefully he will stay well hooked and when safari restrictions are lifted, we can allow the package to almost reach him.

The lad asked for it to be sent via USPS and "same day service". He did say he could wait 2-3 days. Naturally, he forgot my character is in Canada and does not use USPS but instead relies on an internationally recognised shipping company which comes with 5 Star service guarantee.

The lad wants only to deal with my character, asking him to relay messages. Sadly, his work as a security officer at a Canadian air base means he is unavailable most of the time, so the lad is forced to deal with the smiling faces from PLOG. Hopefully his greed will be greater than his frustration level.

Posted: Tue May 05, 2020 6:10 am

Chicken Man baits are fun. Did he have to create a trophy or two to "win" the care/startup parcel that P-LOG will deliver via 5 Star Customer service? The drawings from (not so) Lucky that depicted his vision of what his hatchery would look like were hilarious. Who knew that a poultry farm would require so many flood lights? I know that safaris are still out of the question but the lad would probably not be too pleased if "someone" intercepted the package.The contents of Lucky's parcel were awesome. Who wouldn't want to travel long distances to collect a parcel filled with chicken wire fencing? Lucky actually considered selling his shoes at one point and the Nigerian embassy offered to let him apply for refugee status. Amazing. If he hadn't found his own bait here on Eater I can only imagine what you guys would have tried to make him do afterwards.

Did you ask Chicken Man #4 to go to Amazon to pick out "X" amount of dollars worth of "stuff" needed to get the business up and running? Lad "wish lists" can be so funny sometimes. Glad you're keeping this modality alive Razz

Posted: Tue May 05, 2020 8:50 am

Yeah, the idiot was reluctant to communicate with Mr. Elvis, the PLog representative, but of course the company's rules must be followed. Right? Laughing

I asked for copies by his ID. Also the BIP trophies are coming! Twisted Evil

Elvis, to our idiot:

Quote:

Good morning, Sir!

My name is Elvis Presley and I am the account officer responsible for the delivery of the parcel TRK44657****. The internal security rules impose a certain conduct regarding the correct authentication of the Receiver, therefore we need to be sure that the person who responds to the emails (you) is the right person empowered to take the parcel (OG**** RICHY U****). I hope you understand the reason for these safety measures.

So, to complete the authentication procedure, I need from you the following details:
- your full name (as Receiver of the parcel TRK44657****), exactly as it appears in your identity papers,
- the full delivery address and your phone number, as originally sent by the Sender (Joseph D***** from Ontario - Canada),
- a good quality scanned copy of one of the following documents: National ID Card or Passport or Driver License.

At the time of delivery, you must be able to authenticate yourself with the original identity document, and the representative of our company will verify this by comparing it with the copy already in the internal file. If you do not have valid identity documents (these situations are quite common in Africa), or if the insurance company requests for it, then we will use a biometric authentication procedure (used for people who have not permanently resided and no legally established identity). The Sender paid all the costs related to the transport of the parcel (customs duties, insurance, handling and transport) so that for The Receiver there is nothing to pay upon delivery.

If you have any questions or issues, please tell me.
Thank you for using PLog, the finest in 5-Star Customer Service!
Elvis Presley

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

This chicken man is a different creature than most aspiring farmers, so no "up front" trophies, but I have faith in the PLOG professionals to make this a pleasant and unforgettable transaction!

It should also be noted that the lad wrote originally about a consignment box in the UK. He has given up scamming to become a farmer. The other day however he slipped up and sent my character orders for a fund transfer. He wrote back and said isolation because of the virus has caused his mind to do funny things......but I'm guessing he's lying and is still scamming.

Yesterday while my character was at work the lad wrote

Quote:

Tell your shipping agent to phone mr U**** over his phone number as soon as they have arrived the street address

He was told hours later, once again, I will not be the go between, the receiver and the shipper must work out the details, esp. since this is a high value package.

Posted: Tue May 05, 2020 4:02 pm

The latest news.

- He is just an poor idiot who claims to be located in the UK.
- The package is intended for a character from Nigeria.
- So, obviously the PLog staff wants to get in touch with the "Nigerian". Not with the Englishman. Laughing

- I froze the package in Paris and wrote to the "Englishman" that we needed the Nigerian's identity documents.
- The "Englishman" is of course Laughing

dissatisfied with this situation and claims telephone conversations.

Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

The "Englishman" wrote to my character in his usual demanding manner
The shipping company said to U**** is was stopped in Paris what is all this game

I wrote back in part What I do not understand is why, if PLOG contacted Mr U**** and said the package is stopped, why did he then contact you, who contacted me to then contact the company to find out. Why does U**** not just ask them himself?

When I first joined up and read about baiting, I remember reading that a lot of lads are arrogant pricks who try to order people around. This guy is a textbook example of this character trait. He makes the rules, you must obey.

Posted: Wed May 06, 2020 12:08 pm

HVC-type parcels are the best types of parcels. Nothing beats full-on security protocols! Very Happy

Posted: Wed May 06, 2020 2:28 pm

^^^ YesofcourseSir! Laughing

The "Englishman" doesn't want to talk to Mr. Elvis... all he does is send short rude messages to the PLog "servers".

Quote:

Why

Quote:

Why all this games

Quote:

Scam

Quote:

Scam

Quote:

Scam

===

Mr. Elvis tries to communicate with the "Nigerian" by sending all the messages to the "Englishman". Laughing

I remind you that the idiot (the "englishman") claimed to be operating in the UK and that the package is for someone in Nigeria (for the "nigerian").

Quote:

Dear Sir,

So far I have not been able to get in touch with Mr. U**** on that email address ([email protected]). Please tell him to contact me.
The package just arrived in Paris (France) but is blocked on the airport there for reasons related to the authentication of the Receiver.

Cheers,
Elvis

and

Quote:

Dear Sir,

My colleagues in the "Monitoring" department told me that you were offending them and kept asking for details about the package.
- First of all, you are not the person empowered to know details about the package. That person is the Receiver (Mr. U****).
- Secondly, the parcel monitoring service does not know specific details related to the parcels. They can only provide punctual information, related to the position of the packages.

Cheers,
Elvis

and

Quote:

Dear Sir,

It is useless to continues to offend people who work in the Monitoring department.
Especially since you have nothing to do with this package and you are an uneducated and rude person.
As long as the real Beneficiary (The Receiver Og**** U****) does not respond to messages, the package will remain on standby.
After the legal deadline of 14 days, if The Receiver does not communicate efficiently, the package will be returned to the country of origin.

Cheers,
Elvis

===

I don't think we'll be able to have fun with him because he's an uncooperative and naughty idiot.

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

If does not reply, we can still play it out that he has so many days left before the package will be re-directed to another Nigerian who wishes to raise chickens. As we well know, he is not the only chicken farmer out there.

Posted: Wed May 06, 2020 3:50 pm

Of course, that's exactly what we will do in the coming days
- Mr. Elvis will write a message to Sender and claim that the Receiver is not cooperating. The idiot is in CC.
- Of course, the church committee will want to redirect the package to another Nigerian candidate.

Laughing

Quote:

Dear Sender,

I officially announce that we are unable to contact The Receiver of the parcel (Mr. Og**** U**** - my note: this is the "nigerian").
Under these conditions, the package is stored in a high security facility at the French airport in Paris.
The contact person (Mr. Je*** - my note: this is the "englishman") is an uneducated and naughty little boy who insults our staff and sends idiotic and illogical messages.

Please take all necessary measures.
Cheers,
Elvis

Posted: Wed May 06, 2020 4:19 pm

Some lads, sadly, aren't meant to safari.

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

The lad wrote my character back with one word "scam". Naturally this raises more questions than it answers and seems the perfect opportunity to insult him on a level all lads are sensitive to.

Quote:

I am unclear with your monosyllabic responses exactly what is going on. Has Mr U**** contacted the shipping company? In a message I rec'd and I do believe you were cc'd the message, the shipping agent has not been successful in contacting the receiver. Several messages have been sent and no reply as yet. You just sent a one word message "Scam". I am unclear as to how you arrive at this conclusion. The package is sent, the receiver has been contacted to arrange delivery, and because he refuses to answer, the only logical conclusion is this is a scam? I think you had better re-check your thought process as I do hope we can work this out.
There were hints from your needless aggression and from Mr U****'s mincing submissiveness, that the two of you are homosexual lovers. I can assure you, we do not judge people in our church. We have wished all along for Mr. U****'s success and will continue to do so. As I understand it, all he has to do is communicate with the shipping agent.

I hope he sees that the church is still there to support him. This might have burned the bridge, but his initial enthusiasm wore off quickly for whatever reason.

Posted: Wed May 06, 2020 6:08 pm

Elvis wrote to Sparky's character (sure, the idiot is in CC)... Of course I took the opportunity to offend him. Laughing

Quote:

Dear Mr. D******, please tell me who this idiot Je**** (the englishman) is and what role he plays in this business? We have a contractual obligation to you (as Sender) and to Mr. U**** (as Reveiver). I don't understand the role this dubious Mr. Je**** plays.

If we do not manage to get in touch with Mr. U**** in 14 days, we will consider everything as "abandonment case" and the package will be at your disposal. You can choose to send it elsewhere, or receive it back at home.

I hope everything is clear and I hope I don't have to read other stupid messages written by that illiterate man named Je****.
Thank you for your cooperation!
Elvis

We hope that the fear of losing the package will make it more cooperative. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

Ever the peacemaker........my character wrote back to the shipping agent

Quote:

Mr J****** F******* is a businessman from the United Kingdom. When I wrote to him about my church helping people, he identified Mr U**** as a client/associate of his who could use some assistance in his chicken farming business in Nigeria. To that end, my friends at church put together what we call a welcome package to assist someone get ahead in life. All was well until the package was actually sent. At that point Mr F*****'s demeanour changed and he became aggressive and rude. Further, he was relaying messages from Mr U***** to me to "fix" things with your company, instead of addressing concerns himself. Somehow, though the package was meant for U****, F****** thinks he is the spokesman for him and that he does not need to follow protocols of the shipper. Now he is accusing me of various things which are not only untrue, but insulting. I have tried to get F***** to allow U***** to message you directly but he refuses to. I think F****** has anger issues, and it is a shame his pigheadness will deny his friend/lover/associate the chance to be successful.

I do not have Mr U*****'s email address but if you would share it, perhaps a direct appeal from me would be of help?

Posted: Wed May 06, 2020 6:29 pm

LOL @ the gay angle...not that there is anything wrong with that. Lads tend to be particularly sensitive if they are accused of being drunk or on drugs. Calling them poor and/or uneducated and/or lazy doesn’t really sit well either. If you think he has or is about to bail you could push all those buttons at once. Maybe he'll deliver something fun for your sig line. "You are too lazy and stupid to provide proper identification so you and your ashawo boyfriend elect to stumble around town drunk as Hell looking for blow and a decent street corner to turn tricks. No wonder you don't have any money". His loss I guess.

I wonder what made him so suspicious. Maybe you should conduct an exit interview Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

He was fine until the package was sent and then wanted several people to call him and discuss. He has been rather rude and aggressive and probably will not react.......so the next best thing is to annoy him and insult him. Every lad is different but it is fun to find an angle and exploit it. Last fall we insulted Egobia about having to check with his wife for permission.....or how his associate Austin was impotent. Whatever works, we use! It doesn't have to be true, it only has to annoy.

Posted: Wed May 06, 2020 7:02 pm

^^^ Things are getting funny and we are trying to get some serious reactions from our dear boy.

The lad, to sparky's character and to Mr. Elvis:

Quote:

Both of you are scammers from Nigeria

Mr. Elvis writes to Sparky's character (yeap, the moron is in CC):

Quote:

Dear Sir Di****,

Is that so-called Je**** an English businessman? Hmm, I honestly doubt it.
Rather, he is a shy homosexual who does not have the courage to acknowledge his true sexual nature. He probably fled Nigeria and left his boyfriend (that U****) there. That's why she wanted to help him, because she feels responsible for the fate of her gay lover. Je**** probably prostitutes himself and sends money home to his boyfriend (U****).

Thanks for all the clarifications!
Elvis

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

A bit wordy but a "nice" letter to the lad to let him know whatever he decides is fine.......we are still friends. Hopefully the saccharine infused kindness contrasts with the shipping agents sharp tongue! The timeless good cop/bad cop angle.

Quote:

I am completely at a loss to explain how you have gone from a nice man to a dictatorial person who manners have been stripped away by greed. If I am to understand you correctly, Mr U**** has refused to respond to the shipping agent's messages. Because he remains quiet, you have jumped to the conclusion that everyone around you must be a scammer. I find that an incredible leap of faulty data. As the agent explained, the package is a high value parcel, so the receiver has to make arrangements with the delivery company. The fact that he won't has caused the package to be temporarily held, pending contact being established. Somehow U****'s silence means this is an ill conceived plan to scam you or him or both. If I understand scams, generally the scammer steals from the victim. Yet no one has asked for a thing from you except patience. Please add up all you and Mr U**** have lost, that "scammers" have taken from you? It won't take long because the answer is zero. Not much of a "scam" is it?
However, I would suggest that while this is not a scam it is a shame. It is a shame that the efforts and resources of dedicated people have been pushed aside at the very time when they were reaching out to help you. It is a shame the Mr U****'s farm will continue to struggle because of his silence. It is a shame that a way forward to your most intimate friend has been denied to him.

All of these choices you have made have consequences. By refusing to communicate with the shipping agent, the delivery was halted. That makes it all a shame, not a scam. You have not been lied to, stolen from or hurt. You accuse others rather than face your own demons. Again, that is your choice. If you do not wish to collect the package let me know and I will work with the committee to assist someone else. It saddens us, but does not break our spirit. Let me know if you or your friend no longer want the package. If the answer is no, then we will part on good terms as friends and speak no more hurtful words between us. The kindness we offered will manifest itself with some other deserving person.

I have appreciated getting to know you and to share time which was inspiring and instructional. And please in the midst of all else, stay safe and wash your hands and keep this awful virus at bay.

Posted: Wed May 06, 2020 7:50 pm

I find it rather intriguing when a lad smells foul play and they auto-accuse baiters of being Nigerian scammers. Especially when the lad is Nigerian him/herself. Cash baiting is forbidden now so I guess if a lad senses something that may be amiss he just screams "SCAMMER" even though no one has asked him to send the baiter money...ever. Sometimes they just shout "419" to baiters as well but they probably haven't read that section of the Nigerian criminal code let alone tried to understand it. Over time the definition of the term "419" seems to have evolved into "internet joker/prankster" in ladland. The irony that they are 419 scammers falsely accusing baiters of being 419 scammers themselves is totally lost on them. I might be wrong but some lads seem to be expanding the scope of the 419 definition. Easily triggered lads that don't get their way immediately scream "419 419 419" as if to prove a point. The term "419" is becoming a synonym for the word "fake". Nonetheless, it could be interesting to get a lad's perspective as to why he jumped to certain conclusions so quickly. They educate you and you de-educate them.

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

Chicken man seems bent on not following shipping company protocols. He lashed out at his benefactor.

Your gay too and black guy whom claimed to be white a fraudulent people

My characters polite response.

Mr F******:

Quote:

Let us take a moment, shall we? I wrote a message to you in the spirit of kindness and now you write back in anger? You wrote Your gay too and black guy whom claimed to be white a fraudulent people Sir, I think now I am beginning to understand. When you wrote "your gay too" I think in your angry haste you meant to write "You are gay too". This would then imply that you think I am a homosexual like you , hence the use of the word "too". I am sorry if that disappoints you, but this whole matter is not about me, or you or your preferences. This is about helping Mr U**** and his farm. When you write in anger, it shows that irrational thoughts have replaced calm and reasoned thinking.
But it is not too late. If you do not wish for Mr U**** to receive the package, just let me know and I will get our committee busy on sending it to someone else. Most of what we sent are items of universal applications such as the electronics, the cash etc. The chicken equipment can always find a home elsewhere if our next recipient is not a farmer. The key point here is that our assistance will go where it is most needed. As I stated previously, regardless of which direction you select, I am pleased to have gotten to know you and share part of life's journey with you. I hope you feel the same.
If Mr U**** does not wish to take the simple step of ensuring package delivery, so be it. Let us part as friends.

Posted: Thu May 07, 2020 5:31 am

If he’d like to call someone from corporate customer service, PM me and I can give you a phone number he can call me on.

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

Thank you Mr Mystery......I think this lad has left us behind but it's always worth a shot. My character wrote him a missive with the hopes of rebuilding trust.

Quote:

I have spoken to some of the more senior members of our committee and in my state of upset, they calmed me down and explained a few things about human behaviour to me, which, although I know already, are hard to implement when one is in the middle of the controversy. So I defer to their judgment and wisdom. I do not wish to escalate this matter further. I am detailing below the salient points, hopefully with a goal of reconciliation.

* the package of assistance has been sent as promised
* the recipient has failed to establish contact to ensure delivery
* rudeness and anger has replaced kind and genial dialogue
* words can hurt and we have hurt each other. I have tried to be polite and ask that you do so as well. I did note this about you in messages before this, and while not accusing, I want you to know it is not only me who has noticed this.
* I am neither a scammer nor a Nigerian despite your accusations As I wrote, I have asked for nothing from you. Nothing.
* the most important thing here is not "who is right" or who can out debate the other, as the committee reminded me, the goal was to offer assistance to someone in the spirit of Christian kindness. I do think in our anger, both you and I have lost site of this.
* the shipping company has regulations to follow, esp with high value packages. They must implement them. The question is how do they do their job, while still dealing with a customer who will not help them? The church asked me to contact the shipper and they gave me the name and phone number of a customer service agent who will hopefully mend things up. Perhaps a third party will help smooth the waters and ensure we do not lose site of what the goal was here, i.e. helping someone.
* Justin is the customer service agent who will work to resolve this matter 1-***-***-****

I have extended the olive branch of peace.

Let us hope the lad is in a generous mood!

Posted: Thu May 07, 2020 4:37 pm

In my opinion, this idiot is not worth our effort. A concession made now will attract others after it.
Now you give him a finger, but the lad will want to take the whole hand.
He's suspicious and naughty, I don't think he's a good subject for the story.

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

I think it is a dead end too......but the least we can do is try.

Posted: Thu May 07, 2020 5:26 pm

If he's given you a phone number, I could also simply call him directly, if only to get some funny rants.