Reverend Quin and his nigerian parish

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Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2020 10:25 am

Birlic wrote:

^^^ We suspect that our idiot just copied the drawings from a book with illustrations for children. Laughing

A holy copyright violation! Shocked

That's doubly blasphemous!

Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2020 2:20 pm

Saturday
13:47 Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother quin,

Your message is unclear and I don't know what you are talking about exactly, but like I told you it's not allowed to use a book with drawn pictures as an example for your own work so I have to kindly ask you to redo the drawings you have already made and make your own authentic drawings of the stories please.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

21:17 Quin

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave.
Please try to understand my position and my message,I told you that
it took me all through the nights of thursday 25_03_2020 till around
3pm to 4pm yesterday friday that I was able to send those drawn
pictures so far please at 59 years of age am not doing thing that will
jeopardise my efforts nor that of others,please if planting a church
here will make you see things I do as not being commendable efforts
pls do let me know before I start to loose the followers I have
already gathered. or do we wait a little while for the restriction of
movement order to be reversed to
enable us do the first task of when the Israelites were going out of
Egypt passing through the red Sea?
Thanks and Remain Blessed.
Brother Kingsley.

13:20 Good news from sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

Like I have said, you don't need to do the reenactment of the scene where Moses led the Israelites through the red sea. At this moment it's prohibited to gather in groups in your country, as well as many other countries, that is why you have been given this assignment of drawing. The only requirement is that your work is authentic and not copied from a book or from someone else.
You don't need to worry about losing your followers. As true christians they will understand the situation, because they are in the same situation themselves. Please send me your own authentic works starting today.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2020 8:14 am

Monday

Our Lad wrote to sister Dave:

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave.
Thanks for your message,please I don't understand the whole situation any more please I suggest is better if we could do these things ,by you giving me a WhatsApp no to add you then you watch me do the drawing online through video chat please,because since you are not seeing me while doing the drawing,it might still be a waist of time
doing it again when you will not be watching,or tell me exactly the ones you want me to repeat.
Thanks and God Bless you.
Brother Quin.

Sister Dave:

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

If you want to show me how you work, you can send me a video file through email or upload it to youtube and send me the link.
I do not have a mobile phone with whatsapp so it's not possible what you are asking of me.
Please continue your work and send to me what you have finished.

Be blessed
Dave

===

Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2020 1:22 pm

Tuesday March 31
Quin

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave.
Thanks for your response to my message,is OK I will continue with the
remaining work,and will send any only I finish one after the other,
Thanks and God Bless You.
Brother Quin.

Of course he was not in the mood to make a video, he had a picturebook to hide.

Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

Thank you for your message, we are waiting for your submissions and praying for the spiritual journey you are taking right now.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Wednesday April 1
Quin

Quote:

hello Dave how are u doing today pls bear with me OK pls because our
service provider are not working at the moment but as soon as possible
when I see any Chance I will send it to u pls

Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

I don't see why the working of a service provider should stop you from doing the work and making the drawings, but I appreciate you contacting me and keeping me informed about what's going on.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Thursday April 2
Quin

Quote:

hello pls do bear with me because am only using my phone but I do not
known how to forward the draw I can only send u email through my
phone my computer service provider are not working because of the
lockdown pls do bear with me am almost through with my drawing's
remain blessed
thanks from brother Quin

Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

Once again, thank you for your update. We will be patient and wait until your problems are solved. We're praying for you continuously and hope that you and your family are all in good health.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Friday April 3
Quin

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave
Good morning thanks for your email which brings hope and
understanding to us I pray that our lord the creator of heaven and
earth who made it possible for me to come across our church over
there will bring his plans and arrangements for us through the
mighty name of our holy lamb Amen
Thanks BROTHER Quin

SAturday april 4
Rev. Ed

Quote:

Son, be blessed!

These heavy moments, marked by the outbreak of the Corona virus, are the test stone that the Lord has set before us. To try us and see how we react! Our prayers must be sincere, intense, and frequent, for humanity to overcome these difficult moments.

I understand that you have not yet completed the steps required for your Admission, but Sister Dave has assured me that you are working well. I'm glad to hear these things and I look forward to it to see your Baptism Ceremony finished well.

Glory to the Ho Lamb!
Rev. Ed

Quin

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave.
Thanks to you Chancellor Ed and the Entire Church of the Holy Lamb
for you people's understanding and prayers for us during this Seasons
and trials of Faith,that has befallen the whole world We over here are
also praying that the Holy Lamb will guide protect all of us till the
whole season gets over Amen
Thanks
Brother Quin.

Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

We have been waiting for days to receive an update of your work, yet you didn't send us anything new. Can you please make sure that you will show us your progress within the next 2 days? I need to report back to the elders soon.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Quin to rev. Ed

Quote:

Sir Chancellor Ed.
Sir am so much happy to read from you,after much thoughts of happening
caused by the Covid19,but to the Glory of our Lord we are all hearing
about it,only we cannot have it on any of us Amen Though I see it as a
time of trial of faith and our believe to know if we believe we have a
Creator that loves us. Sir though we are having hard times over here
since the lock down,because there were no provisions of any sort by
our Governments,am still doing my remaining task which I will send to
Sister Davina,once am able to get reconnected by my internet service
providers,am only using my phone to read and reply messages pls Sir
bear with me I will not disappoint you as a Son because I believe u
count on me as a Son in the Lord that you want to Excel in the
Christian Dom.
Thanks May you Remain Blessed.
Your Son in the Lord
Quin.

Quin to Sister Dave

Quote:

hello sister Dave thanks for ur patient am so grateful I pray that
holy lamb of God will bless you and all the elders
thanks brother Quin

Quin

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave how are u doing today pls I tried to send the
remaining task as u requested as a novice through my phone pls do
confirm if u have seen it pls
thanks brother Quin

Sunday April 5

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

Unfortunately I have not received any images from you. Please try to send them again and if possible, ask someone else to help you with it.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Quin

Quote:

dear sister Dave thanks for your understanding pls I will do as u
requested am trying my best but no movement here
thanks brother Quin

Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

As an aspiring reverend you have to understand that you will have to conquer many problems on your way. You will have to face them and rise above them, because that is what God expects from you as a leader and a shepherd of your flock. The small issue that you do not yet understand how to send a picture with your phone is a very minor issue that is easy to overcome. You will only have to call someone and ask if they can explain it to you. It is really that simple and I shouldn't even have to explain this to you.
I expect to see your results by the end of Monday.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Monday April 6
Quin

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave thanks I will try my best to see what I can do
because Easter is on Sunday I will see what I can do thanks may u be
blessed by the holy lamb of God thanks
brother Quin

Quin

Quote:

Dear sister Dave,
Here are the remaining task, I expect you and the elders of
the church to resprocat to my efforts.
Thanks.

Quin

Quote:

Dear sister Dave
The last picture was by error
Thanks.

Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

Thank you for sending me all your work. I have forwarded everything to the elders earlier today and I'm waiting for their answer. I will let you know as soon as possible.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Tuesday April 7
Rev Ed to Sister Dave

Quote:

God bless you!

Sister Dave,
After viewing the sent materials, one of our elders noted that "the 10 plagues of Egypt" were omitted. Please notify our brother Kingsley to remedy this omission and to send as soon as possible the drawings concerning the biblical plagues.

Then, as quickly as possible, I will ask you to guide him in his final step: the Sacred Monument of Faith and the Baptism Ceremony. I intend to propose at the next Elderly meeting the approval of a budget of $40-50,000 for the construction of our new african church and an orphanage for this parish.

Be blessed,
Rev. Ed

Sister Dave forwarded the message to Quin

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

As you can see in the messages below you have forgotten to draw a few images, like instructed. You should have drawn all the 10 plagues individually and you didn't do that. Can you please make sure to send those drawings as soon as possible, so that we can proceed to the final stage of the initiation and we can prepare the sponsorship for you.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Quin to Rev. Ed and Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave.
Thanks for the Forwarded message from Chancellor Ed,which are
clearly understood I personally knows that the plaque are up to
ten,but I only drew that two believing it will make you people believe
I have idea about the plaques,please remember I told you people I had
a sleepless night to make sure I come up with these drawing,am still
having pains at my back dew to bending up and down,and there are no
incentives put in place by our Government since the Covid19 even
before we are suffering here,My members are complaining if am sure of
what I am telling them? because other Churches from out side Nigeria
that come here to build/plant branch of their church here do always
assist their members Financially /materially,but I keep giving them
hope,but we have not seen any thing of such for over 2months now I
have been giving hope,without them seeing any proof,We know every
thing is not Money,but even at this Covid19 period that we do not get
any assistance from neither the Government or Individual would have
been great opportunity to get people's consent,well for me I will need
some time for the pains I had during my previous drawings to ease up
then I see what I can do,just as I promise to make sure you people
will not be disappointed,still put me into consideration in some areas
of your Decisions.
Thanks and may you,Chancellor Edand the Entire Church remain
Blessed by the Holy Lamb.
Brother Quin.

Rev Ed

Quote:

Dear my son,

This is exactly what we are trying to do. Let us help, with money and products, the members of your parish!
Of course, this can only be done under the conditions in which you and your people are members of the Church and you have completed the membership procedures. This is the Regulation, for the Reverend and his people to perform the Baptism Ceremony together. Just exactly as John baptizes people in the water of the Jordan River.

After you submit the drawings for the 10 plagues, you will need to complete the last step of the Accession process. After that, together, we will make a list with all the people around you who need material assistance and sponsorship.

Blessings,
Rev. Ed

Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

Personally I do not know of any church who gives money to people without knowing them. We have protocols to follow and that is exactly what we are doing right now. From the start we have told you that you will receive financial support once your initiation process to become an official reverend has been completed. If you want to complain that it already took two months, then you can complain to only one person and that is yourself. We have been clear from the start about what needed to be done and about the steps that needed to be taken to complete the initiation process, yet you have taken a lot of time for each step to be completed. I am convinced that the situation due to the COVID-19 outbreak have complicated matters, but that is still no reason to blame the church. The financial support will come to you. You will get everything that you deserve.

In the initial assignment, you have been told that you should draw all the 10 plagues. You can think that it is enough to only draw one or two, so that you have shown that you understand them, but that is not the assignment. Don't you understand that the initiation process is not just a spiritual journey, but also to show that you can and will follow instructions. What if the Lord tells you that you need to do a certain thing? Will you only do that partially and stop completing the task because you have shown that you have understood it? What if another brother trips on a cliff and only holds on to the edge and you get the task to save him? Will you only tell him to grab your hands only to let go directly because you have proven that you have understood the task? Do you understand the serious consequences this kind of attitude may have? In this case it are drawings but in another situation this attitude might mean the difference between life and death. This is one of the purposes of the initiation process. If you can fulfill it without failure and without delivering half work, the elders will know that you are the chosen one, with the right character to lead your own parish. Please keep this in mind and send your 10 drawings of the 10 plagues to us within 2 days.

As father Ed explained to you, after this task there is only one assignment remaining, which is the monument of faith. Please note that this is not a difficult task and you can do it by yourself. Officially, for the baptism, your helpers need to be with you, but in this time and extraordinary circumstances we will allow for you to also do that by yourself, assisted by the people who live in the same home as yourself. Don't worry about this, I will explain to you everything when the time is right.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2020 1:46 pm

When I first found this thread, I must have read it like the devil reads the Bible... Sister DAVE??? Laughing

You peeps owe me a new keyboard. Send me a Google Play gift card. Laughing

Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2020 3:59 pm

Send that request to Purple. He's the one who suggested changing my characters name to that. in retaliation I told him to change his characters name to commandor crabs, but he never posted anything from that character since. Wonder why.
Oh and I have no problem sending that gift card, but first send me a picture of you holding a sign saying "I love sister Dave"

Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2020 4:35 pm

^ But of course, you seem trustworthy!

Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2020 5:07 pm

Totally trustworthy. I'll send the cards with plog. Hope you don't mind. I can't promise they'll end up at your doorstep, but I can promise they'll be waiting for you somewhere far away until the travel ban is lifted. Laughing

Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2020 5:32 pm

The Commander is alive and well – but I tend to “rest” my characters after a bait or two to let the heat off. Once everything goes quiet, he’ll be back

There are plenty of others to fill his shoes in the meantime

I’ve had a few lads try to contact the same character they are already trying to scam to see if he bites to see if he’s genuine, and the last thing I need is a “reputation” among the lads …..

Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2020 5:41 pm

Should there be any issues, as head of customer service at PLog, I can guarantee I will personally handle your case to bring the 5-star customer service you know you deserve!

Posted: Thu Apr 09, 2020 7:19 am

April 08 - Our moron wrote to sister Dave:

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave how was ur night am on the drawings since
yesterday hope fully on or before Friday you will get the remaining
eight already I have sent two to you
thanks brother Quinn

Sister Dave:

Quote:

Brother Quin,

Thank you for your update. I will tell father Ed that he can expect to see the remaining drawings on Friday.

Be blessed
Dave

===

Together with Linoline, we decided that the next step would be the construction of the Monument (Pyramid).
Probably our nigerian brother Quin will not be at all excited about this "last" task. Laughing

Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2020 7:45 am

The 10 Plagues of Egypt

We have another nice trophies from our dear reverend Quin. Laughing

Quote:

Dear sister Dave happy good Friday pls do comfire if u have received
the pictures I sent to you
thanks brother Quin

Obviously he didn't send all the necessary drawings, so Sister Dave writes to him:

Quote:

Dear brother Quin
Yes, I have received them and we are still waiting for the remaining ones.
Please note that there are 10 plagues you needed to draw.

Be blessed
Dave

LOL!
- It seems our new reverend didn't sleep much tonight... Laughing

- He sent us other drawings... we will approve them and try to move to the construction of the pyramid. Twisted Evil

Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2020 7:35 pm

Sunday

Only good news for our dear reverend... He must build a 3 meter pyramid and pour milk and honey on his head. Laughing

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

The elders have studied the drawings you have made and spoken about your willingness to be a reverend for our church.
They have approved to let you continue to the final stage of the initiation process.
This last task that you will need to do consists of building a monument of Faith..

Sponsorship
At the same time I will start preparing the sponsorship for the new parish. You have been appointed a budget of $10000,
You can go to the website www.amazon.com and choose electronical products you will need for your parish.
Think of laptops and mobile phones for communication, beamers, printer, scanner, etc. You need to send me a list with the following information:
- name of the product
- link to the product page
- price of the product
- amount you will need of each item
- total amount
You will also need to send me the full name and address of where you want to receive the parcel and the bank account information where you want to receive the sponsorship money.

The monument of Faith
And the LORD said to Moses: "Go back to Egypt, for all the men who were seeking your life are dead!" (Exodus 4.19)
The monument resembles the spiritual basis on which you build your new parish.
You have to build a pyramid with the dimensions of the base 10 feet (3 meters) and with the same height.
It will be possible to accept a lower height (only 2 meters, but the base must be 3x3 meters.
The materials used may be sandbags, cement bags or any bags filled with any other available materials (earth is also accepted).
This is a sacred monument of our Faith. A remembrance to the deliverance of Gods people from the grip of Pharao in ancient Egypt.

On the top of the pyramid you will place a sign with the logo of our church.
Next to the pyramid, a bench should be built for the believers to sit and pray. For the bench you can use bricks, cement, wood or any kind of available material.
I attached some skecthes to help you understand the building process and some pictures of the monument our reverend in Mozambique has made.

The Baptism
2) "And I have promised you that I will bring you up from the misery of Egypt to the land of the Canaanites, Hethites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites--a land flowing with milk and honey." (Exodus 3.17)

- This is the Baptism Ceremony and represents The Sacred Way through which you are appointed as Local Reverend and your Parish is officially recognized as one of the Church sisters-parishes.
- As in the Exodus (chapter 3.17), when Moses promises to his tribe that he will offer them milk and honey, you will have to stay in front of the Monument of the Faith and say "Our Father" prayer.
- Your position must be kneeling as if in prayer and in your arms you must hold a lamb (a baby goat will be accepted), what symbolising the power of your Faith! To show everybody that you really believes and respects the spirit of the Holy Lamb!
- One of the faithful who attends the ceremony must pour some honey on your head... then, he will pour milk on your head.
- You have to raise your hands up and, with eyes looking at Heaven, you must say "the sacred words of baptism" for three times. They have to be uttered very clearly!

"I baptize myself in the spirit of the Holy Lamb!
I will offer milk and honey to those who will follow ME!
Glory to the Holy Lamb!"

- The Baptism Ceremony must be video-recorded and it is also useful to take some suggestive photos during the event.

We know and understand that this last sage can take 2-3 weeks, so we will not wait for it to prepare the Courtesy & Sponsorship package.
Do not forget to confirm all the details I asked you to give me (address, bank account, list for the sponsorshp package)
We want to see the progress made by you and your team of believers. I need you to regularly "document" all the construction's phases of the Monument of the Faith.
- I want to see photos of the place that you will choose as the "base".
- I want to see photos taken while building... the first bags.

If you have already chosen the people who will be your official assistants, we need from them the filled membership form and proof of faith picture, like you have sent us.
They will receive a salary from us as well once the parish is operational.
Usually the building of the Monument of Faith is done together with your chosen helpers, since this is not possible due to the measures taken because of the corona virus outbreak, you can do this task by yourself and we will understand that completing it will take a little longer. The details of how to do the baptism ceremony will be worked out when you have finished your Monument.

Please keep us updated about the progress and send us pictures on a regular basis.

Be blessed
Dave

Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2020 8:34 pm

What is a beamer? A video projector maybe? I know it to be a nickname for BMW cars but it's usually spelled bimmer in that context. I'm sure he'll give you his address, piggy details, and product list lightning fast and then drag his heels on everything else in hope that the package will get to him before having to so much as lift a finger. I think we all know how solid that plan is Twisted Evil

I wonder if this idiot is smart enough to create a proper item list. They never seem to get it right despite clear instructions.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

^ Really? I've usually seen it called 'beamer'.

@Birlic - many states in Nigeria, including Lagos state, are on total lockdown at the moment, so your lad may not be free to go out and find somewhere to build a pyramid.

Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2020 12:49 am

^^^ apparently there are three ways to spell it with beemer being the oldest iteration according to BMW. Before today when I looked this up I had never seen it spelled as beemer. I live in the US where the bimmer spelling was adopted in the 70's. Outside the US the beamer spelling is more popular. The more you know I guess.

https://www.bmw.com/en/automotive-life/bimmer-beamer-nickname-origin.html

Sorry for the off topic hijack. Maybe the church can offer the lad a BMW if he chooses the "correct" spelling. Of course he will be wrong regardless of what he picks. Or maybe Joojoo steals it and taunts the lad with pictures of it while he tours exotic destinations across Africa. The car could be part of a contest and you can bury a clause in some really fine print in the rules that says that the lad will have fill out some form if he wants the shipment to be insured. Make it vague so it's easy to miss or have it cost money so he'll avoid doing it. When the car is stolen it's the lad's fault that he failed to opt in for insurance. So sad...

Contests may be a good way to pass the time until the pandemic clears up. You can create a YouTube channel and disable the comments and put a bunch of lad's videos on it and let view counts determine winners. If lads see what other lads are doing they may try to one up the rest by putting forth more effort. X Factor for lads basically. Can Reverend Quinn sing and dance? Laughing

Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2020 9:26 am

^^^ LOL!

Dear Reverend Quin writes back to sister Dave:

Quote:

Hello Sister Dave.
Happy Memorable Easter celebration to you and the Entire Members of
Holy Church over there thanks for the updates and the information on
the next step of the task. Pls am using this forum to point out some
of the situations that,are not on ground yet.(1) we have not acquired
a space where the Church will be built yet,we only use my place and
sometimes that of one of our members to have gatherings before the
Lockdown.(2)I do not have Sheep nor Goat,but can only buy from the
dealers at the Market but that has to be after the Lockdown of
Covid19,then for the form that will be filled by member that will be
my assistants,I can be inviting them one after the other at
intervals,because most of them are not living in the same Vicinity. As
of my acct details, Quin Eze****** Ama****** Eco Bank Acct No
381207****. please do confirm all the requested are inline with what I
have sent.
Thanks and Remain blessed
brother Quin

Sister Dave:

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

I understand that at this time it is hard to find a place where you will start the parish, so for now it will be good if you build the monument on an open piece of land or even in your backyard.
Try to find a way to solve this issue and in this special situation the elders will accept the location you see fit to build the Monument of Faith as long as it meets the required size.
Right now is not yet the time to worry about the details of the baptism ceremony. Maybe by the time you are ready for that you will be able to find a lamb or a baby goat, but if not, you are also allowed to use 2 chickens or doves.
Regarding to your helpers, you can send them the membership form and document for the proof of faith picture and you will email me their filled form and proof of faith picture. That way you don't need to meet every one of them personally.
As for the bank account, I will need the following information:

name of the bank
address of the bank
bank account
name of the account holder
iban / swift / routing number

Also you need to send me the address where you want to receive the courtesy parcel.

Be blessed
Dave

Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2020 10:37 am

^^^ You might want to obfuscate the name of the church in Quinn's response to you. I think you decided to change the name because the last one you created brought too many lads to Eater.

Maybe you should single handedly throw a bone to the Nigerian Postal Service. Tell the lad to snail mail the forms to his members. He will complain about the cost of postage, print outs, and envelopes of course or will play dumb and not know how to use the post or say it is unreliable or the other members don't have mailable addresses but it couldn't hurt to try. He will be reimbursed of course and if he adds one of those label printing and parcel weight scale machines to his starter package wishlist the church will set him up on the master account so that he never has to pay postage again! The Holy Lamb truly does provide.

He won't do it but it would be hilarious if you could convince the lad to build the pyramid inside his house by himself and then have his flock help him move it outside when the crisis is over. I don't think an indoor pyramid has been done before. It would save a lot of time because he can use his couch as the Bench of Reflection (or whatever you call it). If I was the landlord and saw that shit I would evict his mugu ass Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 5:05 am

^ Thanks! Solved!
===

It seems that our idiot received the burden of the monument (the construction of the pyramid) quite easily, because he did not protest at all.
Obviously, we are still not sure he will build something, but the premises are very good. The idiot is totally committed to this mission. Twisted Evil

We sent him some sketches with the construction details for the pyramid Laughing

... it seems that he can not open (on the phone) files in PDF format.

April 14
- Our dear reverend wrote to sister Dave:

Quote:

Dear sister Dave sorry for the delay for not replying ur mail since yesterday I was trying to get all information before replying u because my account officer was on able to pick up her phone call until today this are all the details of all you need now pls pictures you sent was only the church emblem with church logo pls do help me resend the picture to guide me to build the pyramid and also do help me send the membership form because the one you sent before was deleted DAT same time I told u to resend all the mail to me pls,we agreed DAT in the area of instruments and phones laptops etc DAT you people should make choice we are. not to chose for you ok because we have not done any business with Amazon from here in Nigeria before ,this is address the parcel can be received 20 Azeez ********** AYOBO Ipaja Lagos the account details :account name: <reported piggy> thanks for ur patience remain blessed brother Quin

Sister Dave:

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

Thank you for your message. I have sent your bank account information to brother Emmanuel who runs the finances of the church.
The sponsorship funds will be sent to you on the same day as the courtesy parcel, which will be after you have completed the baptism ceremony in front of the finished monument of faith.

Please find attached the requested images to help you build the monument and the documents you need for your helpers to be registered as official members of our church.

For the courtesy parcel, it is no problem that you have never done business with amazon before. We will order the products and send them to you, but you know the local situation best, so it is up to you to make the list of products exactly like I asked of you and send it to me. If you do not know how to do this yourself, please ask one of your helpers, who has more experience with these kinds of things, to help you pick out the right products. even if you think you will only need phones for you and your helpers to be able to communicate with each other, and you will buy the rest of the needed materials from the funds we'll send you, that is perfectly fine. We know that you are a brother, and reveren to be, sent to us by the Lord, guided by the Holy Spirit. Praise to the Holy Lamb!

Be blessed
Dave

The Lad:

Quote:

Dear sister Dave thanks a lot for ur update and for the picture of how to build the pyramid but pls do help me send the membership forms
I will try and look for the bags to be able to start building the pyramid from tomorrow
thanks remain blessed brother Quin

Sister Dave:

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

I have sent you the membership form in my previous email, please check that again.
Did you find a place where you will build the monument yet? The elders would like to see pictures of the location please.

Be blessed
Dave

Aprilie 15
- The Lad:

Quote:

Dear sister Dave good morning how was ur night I have not seen it but I with build it in the place I reside for now as u suggested to me before
I did not see the membership forms it was the one DAT will guide me to build the pyramid I saw pls help me resend it
thanks
brother Quin

Sister Dave:

Quote:

Dear Brother Quin,

I have sent you the adhesion form yesterday. I checked this and it was attached. I don't like you accusing me of not doing my job well.
It is obviously an error on your end that you were not able to open it. I asked someone to change it to another file type and I hope you won't have any problems with it this time.

Be blessed
Dave

The Lad:

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave
Please and Please do not be offended am very sorry for the inconvenience I might have coursed you,do forgive me but the good thing is that we have seen the Adhesion form. The issue of choosing musical instruments our member that knows much about musical instruments has given the list but I feel they are much, I advice that as the mother/headquarter of the church we intend to have here,what ever instruments you give/send to us we will make do with it for a start. I also plead that the name that our church bears should be written on the instruments for record purposes.
Thanks and Remain Blessed
Brother Quin.

Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother Quin

The budget of $10.000,- is assigned to choose electronical products. This can be musical instruments, but that's up to you to decide. Most churches use the budget to purchase smartphones so the reverend and helpers can communicate well. The choose laptops for organising the parish administration. You can not give us the task of deciding which products you need for your parish. It is your job. I have my own job to do and it takes me enough time as it is, especially when I have to repeat so much every time.
My advise to you is to ask help from one of your future parish assistants and get the list done like I requested from you.

Be blessed
Dave

===

Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 6:40 am

THE MIGHTY REVEREND QUINN

(With apologies to Bob Dylan and Manfred Mann)

Some Lads are making works of art
Some are building monuments
Just doing their part
Everybody’s had enough of the lockdown blues
And when Quinn the Reverend gets there
It’s an offer we can’t refuse

Oh come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Reverend Quinn
Come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Reverend Quinn

We’d all like to stredd the Lads abroad
But COVID spoiled all that
We won’t infect the ITPs
I’ll say it off the bat
But now here comes a likely Lad
To cure the lockdown blues
And when Quinn the Reverend gets here
It’s an offer we won’t refuse

Oh come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Reverend Quinn
Come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Reverend Quinn

He’s sent us loads of drawings
And yes, all of them pinched
He’s pledged to build a pyramid
Like it’ll be a cinch
We’re waiting now with baited breath
For the next thrilling part
And when Quinn the Reverend gets there
The fun’s just about to start

Oh come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Reverend Quinn
Come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Reverend Quinn

Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 9:23 am

^^^ LOL...great tribute! What's up with his use of "DAT" versus that? This is one weird and lazy lad. If he continues to drag his heels getting you that list tell him that you are going to send him 10,000 cheap plastic crosses that cost $1 each. When the pandemic subsides he will be tasked to take to the streets and hand them out to the public to remind them that the Lord is everywhere. I bet he will find the time to pick the Apple products he wants to steal from you then. After all, he DID tell you to pick all that stuff out yourself Wink

Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2020 11:34 am

^^^ LOL!

Obviously he is a lazy idiot, but at the same time is well hooked in our hook.
We hope to get a beautiful construction made of sand bags.
Glory to the Holy Lamb! Laughing

Thursday

My old Chancellor wrote to sister Dave... I'm 100% sure the message will reach our boy.

Quote:

Sister Dave, what are the news about our brother in Nigeria? The Reverend Quin?
Did he start working on the Monument of Faith? Did he send you something like this?

In our last conversation I told you to keep me up to date with the evolution of the situation and tell me when we can begin to approve the first payments for the new parish. I regret that everything has been delayed by the global pandemic and I regret that our parish in Nigeria could not be inaugurated before the holy days of Easter.

Blessings,
Rev. Ed

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 11:12 am

Thursday
Sister Dave to rev. Ed and Quin

Quote:

Dear father Ed,

I'm sorry to say that I do not know exactly if there has been any progress regarding the monument of faith. I didn't receive any requested pictures about the location where he wants to build it, nor did I receive the list of products for the sponsorship package or the forms and proof of faith pictures of his helpers. Brother Quin is making us wait very long for all the information. Meanwhile he wants me to put together a list of the products he will receive for his parish, even after I explained to him that I can't do this for him. I'm a bit confused about what is going on exactly with the new parish in Nigeria.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Quin isn't happy

Quote:

Dear sister Dave good evening pls I don't understand the mail you
forwarded to me and I don't understand the way you present me in front
of the elders because I don't remember telling you to help me chose
instruments for the parish here in Nigeria I only told you DAT has the
head quarters any instruments sent to us DAT we can make do with DAT
for now as new parish that the ones my member DAT known musical
instruments wrote out are much as a new parish and I also told you to
see that the names of our church should be written on them for record
purposes, as for where the monument of faith will be build because
there is no movement here is not like your country if you move and
the authorities sees you the person is in trouble I can not go against
the rules of my country pls no way to go out to print out the form you
sent to me for the member to fill it was only yesterday I was able to
see it for the pyramid I most have to go out to get the bags but no
movement am not the way you are trying to paint me before my father in
the lord am confused here in one of your mail you said that I should
take my time but it should not be more than three weeks, I don't
understand you again am a tenant living with other people I will try
to build the pyramid at my own backyard that is after the lockdown is
over thanks as for the list here are the ones I was told I thought
is too much since you insists
musical instruments
1:trombone 2:musical note 3saxophone, 4:trumpet 5:tube 6:French note
,7:clarinet 8:recorder 9 microphone 10:Harp 11:keyboard 12:xylophone
13:maracas 14:bell,15:harmonica 16accordion ,17:Bass drum 18,banjo 19:
double bass 20:drums, 21:cello 22:violin 23:piano 24:guitar
25conga,26:snare drum, 27:speakers that was why I said is too much
but as for me here are the ones I think is important for a start
1: keyboard
2: guitar
3: piano
4:microphone
5:bell
6:conga
7:speakers
8: saxophone
9:drums set
10:trumpet
11: bass guitar
pls I need to known the way forward thanks and remain blessed brother Quin

Quin

Quote:

Dear sister Dave I now understand DAT we are to buy the instruments
here in Nigeria after reading your mail you sent yesterday at about
4:40pm which i now saw on my bulk mail are you saying we are also
going to get the laptops and phones too from the 10,000 USD pls
clarify me do not be offended about this mixup thanks for your
understanding in anticipation.
thanks brother Quin

Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

Yes, that is what I meant. The things that I need from you now are

1. list of electronical products you need for your parish. Pick the items from Amazon.com and send me a list with:
- Name of the product
- link to the product page
- price of the product
- amount needed
- total price
2. adhesion forms and proof of faith pictures from your helpers
3. picture from the place where you will build the monument of faith
4. summary of your plans about when and how you will build the monument.

Please make sure to get these to me as soon as possible. We are very understanding about the situation, but if there's no communication from your side about these issues you can't expect us to take these into account.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Friday
Quin

Quote:

Dear sister Dave good morning am very grateful for taking me to
some situation I never new exist here in Nigeria that Amazon have
their office here in Nigeria ,I have been able to find out the price
of the instruments here are the list:
guitar:usd50 ,to 100usd
keyboard: 264.77usd
electric violin: 105.95 USD
electric guitar amplifier: 37.51usd
drum set:100to 200 USD
speakers: 349usd
piano: 603.77 USD
saxophone professional: 288.99
microphone wireless: 55.99
microphone with antenna 89.99
conga and bongo :394.99
trumpet: 149.99
total for now is 2741.17usd
we did not include the scanner photo copy machine ,laptop and phone
find out the price later
thanks brother Quin

Quin

Quote:

Dear sister Dave here are the prices of the remaining items
printer :179.99
Dell laptop:299.99
photo copy machine: 299.00
Nokia Android phone each:299:99 as for the form it has to wait till
after the lockdown because we need to print it out before given it to
the members to fill same thing goes to the building of the pyramid
thanks for ur understanding
thanks brother Quin

Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

Thank you for sending me a part of the list. As you can see in my previous emails, you have not sent me the complete information. I need the links to the product pages. If you do not know how to copy those, please ask assistance from one of your helpers. I can not be explaining this to you with every message I write to you if you do not even read my messages well.

As for the forms, if there's no possibility to print them right now, your helpers can write them out completely. The original text of the form in black ink and their answers in red ink and send a picture of this back to me.
The same goes for the proof of faith picture. When printing is not possible, they can write the words with a thick marker on paper and draw the logo, just like in the example, so they can still make the picture. We need to proceed with the work, at least the administrative part of it, so we will not have too much of a delay.

May I remind you that you have forgotten to send a picture of the location where you want to build the monument? Even though you can not start building it directly, I am sure there are preparations that you can do right now and I want you to keep me updated about this process so I will have something substantial to report back to the elders soon.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Quin

Quote:

Dear Dave
this is the place we want to build the pyramid of faith that
we are waiting for sacks after the lockdown
Regards
Quin

Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother Quin,

Thank you for this picture. Can you please make a few more pictures from different angles and can you try to be in the picture yourself so that we can get a better estimate about the location where you want to build the Monument of Faith.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Saturday
Quin

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave.
Good morning and how was your night? Thanks for your mail of this day
which most of the contents I still need to clarify you on. I remember
I told you in one of my mails that we have not aquared any space were
the Monument of Faith which I believe is the Church building will be
built,that we always have our gatherings at my residence and that of
one other of our member, that when we are ready to buy a space for
that,all we need is get to Real Estate agents that can show us
locations ment for such purposes for sale the attached photo I sent to
you yesterday is where I will build the pyramid as you requested,what
you see there is the sand I have already gathered for that purpose,
what am now looking for is where to get empty cement bags to be used
fill and build the pyramid, as for the form and prove of faith,the
forms the writings there in are very tiny can only be boldly/properly
seen when printed out,the prove of faith I told you in one of my
previous mail that it will be after the lockdown based on the fact
hthat we are not staying in the same vicinity,also be informed that
the way you suggest will not be possible based on the fact that most
of us do not have Android phones. As of how we got the link to the
products from Amazon ,we used the link you sent to us that is
www.amazon.com when it opened we started requesting for names and
prices of gospel musical instruments one after the other that is how
we arrived at what was finally sent to you please Sister DaveI want
to find out, Does it mean that Church like <snipped> Congregation do not
have any Telephone number? what if any Government Authorities wants to
have any conformations of our communication with you people how
possible will that be as email is not what one checks every minute ,we
have not been seen or visited by any one from there or you people
attach any photograph of yours or the Elder,remember I have given you
people assurance that I will not disappoint you people, in the same
way I will like <snipped> Congregation to Reciprocate .
Thanks and Remain blessed.
Brother Quin.

How many times do I have to explain the same thing to this idiot. Either he is a moron (check) or he's just lazy (probably check) but I'm losing patience with him.

Sister dave to rev. Ed and Quin

Quote:

Dear father Ed,

I have tried to explain things many times now to brother Quin, but it seems like he doesn't understand my words. Can you please read this message that he sent me this morning and give a response to it. I hope that, coming from you, he will understand and obey what you have to tell him.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2020 12:50 pm

His constant use of DAT is so friggin' annoying. As tempting as it can be to correct him we know not to educate the lads. Still though, what posseses him to think that a capitalized DAT should serve as a valid substitute for "that". Idiot

Posted: Sun Apr 19, 2020 8:43 am

Sunday

The lad, to sister Dave:

Quote:

Dear sister Dave good morning how was ur night I have not seen your
reply since am waiting to here the next line of action because I don't
understand what is going on again with my account information you
collected from me
thanks brother Quin

Father Ed, to our dear lad-reverend and to sister Dave:

Quote:

Brother Quin, be blessed!
I am happy to see your progress but I am sad to hear that there are disagreements regarding the inauguration of our new parish. Brother Quin, all I want most is to declare your parish to be officially open and to officially declare you to be our Reverend there. Sister Dave explained to me what the restrictions are on the current pandemic and she told me that you will build the Monument of Faith somewhere in your yard. Bravo! After you complete the accession procedures and after we end this pandemic, we will buy a lot of land and start the official steps to lay the legalization of your parish. It will be necessary for you to search for a land available for the new construction and it will be necessary to have there a law firm that represents our interests before the local authority. Of course, everything will be supervised by you, as our Reverend, and I will ask you for all the necessary details and explanations.

Sister Dave, did you send to our dear brother Quin all the necessary explanations? I do not understand what is the problem related to the component of the Courtesy Package and do not understand why the rest of the parishioners there do not send (each one of them separately) all the necessary materials? Of course, I refer to the Proof of Faith forms and photos. It is enough for brother Quin to send a simple list of the products needed to the parish, and we will take care of buying and sending everything to them. As with sponsorship, we need a bank account where we can make the first payment. After the inauguration of our parish we will open a bank account there which will be registered on behalf of our local branch.

Let everything end well, as quickly as possible.
Glory to the Holy Lamb, glory to Jesus!
Rev. Ed

Our idiot is somewhat confused and tries to pretend he doesn't understand the things he doesn't want to do. We have patience with him, because he is really well hooked in the hook. For a long time we have not had such a docile lad. Linoline and I hope he will bring us another pyramid in our siglines! Laughing

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