Happy tapping with Elmo

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Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2020 1:35 pm

Wednesday

14.25 - Well, well, well... our Elmo's back. Laughing

Quote:

Dear Reverend Eduard,

Thank you very much for your message.

Please i must apologize for that message you receive yesterday. Please My Gmail account was hack yesterday so it was the hackers that wrote those message to spoil my image.

Please i am begging you in the name of God to forgive.

Please i cannot send such horrible message to you. I really thank God now that i have my email account back and i have change my password and the every other things contains in this email.

Please i am pleading for your forgiveness and i will be very glad that you will accept my apology.

Please i am looking forward to hear from you so that we can proceed.

Thank you and God bless.

Regards,
Mr. Elmo

Rev. Eduard:

Quote:

Son, my soul still suffers from those heavy words I saw written in your message. We will forgive everything, as our Savior teaches us, but I want to see that you are hardworking and you deserve our forgiveness. By Sunday's sermon I would like to have some of your materials so that I can show them to the members of the committee of Elders. I do not know at what stage you arrived with the Admission process, but I hope you have passed the initial phase.

Sister Dave, please keep me up to date with the evolution of our new brother's Admission process. I wish that Sunday we could present at least the first and second part of the materials: his "proof of the Faith" photo and the "documentary material" from the stage #2. For him, let me recommend the beautiful theme represented by the "Escape from Egypt" story.

Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
Rev. Eduard

===.

16.42 - Elmo sent the same message to sister Dave... so:

Quote:

Dear brother Elmo,

As you can see Reverend Eduard has chosen to forgive you and still give you the chance to become reverend, but he wanted to finish the membership and the first stage of the initiation process before Sunday, which means that there is work that needs to be done without delay.
You need to send me the filled form I gave you and next you'll have to make a picture holding the sign that I have attached to this message. You need to make the picture outside, in daylight and you need to be completely visible. This picture will be displayed in the hall of the church so our parishioners can see the new reverend we will support using their generous donations.
Please, if you are really a devoted man of God like you say you are, then don't waste time and don't make our work be for nothing and send me the requested materials today so we can start the initiation process and make reverend Eduard proud.

Be blessed
Dave Weelson

===

Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2020 11:09 am

Thursday

11.44 - Elmo to father Eduard:

Quote:

Dear Reverend Eduard,

Thank you very much for your message.

I really thank you so much for your understanding and your forgiveness. I am happy now. thank you so much and i really appreciate it.

Yes i will definitely fill the form and submit before Sunday this week and also i need clear explanation about the picture and what exactly i need to do so that i will not make any mistake about it.

Once i hear from you then i will proceed to fill the forms and also take the picture and send the two together.

Thank you and God bless.

Regards,
Mr. Elmo

Father Eduard responds to our moron. Sister Dave is in CC:

Quote:

Sorry son, but I am very busy with the current problems of the Church and I have no time available to explain some simple things. The Admission Process (through which you will be appointed as Reverend of our new Parish) is made up of several "steps". Both, the "Application form" and "proof of the Faith" photo form are part of this simple process. Sister Dave is the person who deals with these formalities. The faster you will complete the admission procedures, the faster we will be able to register your new Parish in our records and the faster we can start our sponsorship and charity activities there, locally. You will be responsible for the judicious sharing of all the funds you will receive.

Be blessed,
Rev. Eduard

This lazy idiot hasn't sent anything so far, but he insists with questions and asks for explanations. Maybe the image of impending payments will make it more cooperative. However, given the fact that he refused to travel to Tamale (although he had the opportunity to hand over $30-40,000), I am a little skeptical about our success. We will see in the coming days.

Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2020 11:53 am

If he won't cooperate, tell Saint Elmo that he's Fired.

Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2020 12:28 pm

He sent the same message to Sister dave

12:13 Sister Dave replied

Quote:

Dear brother Elmo,

The form and this picture that I told you about yesterday belong to the process of becoming a member. When you have finished those I can tell you more about the initiation process to become a reverend. I'm very sorry, but right now you are not a member and I can not discuss any details about this with you at this moment. Reverend Ed did request that the first step of the initiation process would be finished by this coming Sunday so it seems to me now that you are stalling and wasting precious time. If you still want to have the chance to become a reverend for our church and have your own parish, I suggest that you will submit the form and your proof of faith picture to me today.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2020 9:50 am

Saturday

10.45 - Rev. Eduard wrote to sister Dave (Elmo's in CC):

Quote:

Sister Dave,

It has been 2 weeks since our brother Elmo was accepted into the program "A New Parish, a new Reverend" but I sadly note that he has not even sent the preliminary materials until now. Sister Dave, what's going on? My patience is great, but not infinite. I want to finalize the list of the winners and start preparing the packages and sponsoring the Easter charity local activities. It seems that the parish of Elmo will not benefit from anything this year, because I do not think he will be able to finish hid Admission process before the Easter Day.

Blessings,
Rev. Eduard

Elmo is a difficult lad, hard to manipulate and who shows a high degree of aggressive idiocy.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

@Yastreb - ha! Too funny. 😂

Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2020 10:02 pm

12:10 Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear father Ed,

A few days ago I have informed him about the membership procedure and I haven't heard back from him since so honestly, I don't think he is serious about this and I think we will have to find another faithful man to become reverend for our church in Ghana.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2020 6:26 pm

sister Dave wrote:

Dear brother Meensah,

I don't understand why it should take you this long to make a picture and fill out a form. If you do not have a printer to print the document and the sign needed for the picture, then it is no problem if you write out the form completely and fill it with a different color ink. Also the sign for the picture, you can copy it yourself on paper and use that. I don't understand all this delay over simple things. If this is how you will run your parish then I don't have much hope of it ever being successful enough to gather many parishoners.

Be blessed
sister Dave

===

in a message to Rev. Eduard, Elmo wrote:

Dear Rev. Eduard,

Please i have prepare the forms and fill it, but i have not print the original form out yet because of lack of finance with me here but to show you that i am very serious to do the work of God, that is why i present this one to you.

I have filled the form and also attach my photo for you to see me and i am hoping to get some money between tomorrow and Saturday to print the original form and the other paper and the take the picture and stand the way i suppose to stand sent it back to you.

Please kindly accept the little one i have present to you today and i will send the original by God grace tomorrow or Saturday.

Thank you once again for all your patience with me. I really appreciate it.

Thank you and God bless.

Regards,
Mr. Elmo.

Reverend Eduard writes to our moron:

Quote:

Dear my young brother ELMO, be blessed!

Son, it is okay to write the text required for the "proof of Faith" photo by hand. Your strong Faith is the only thing that matters! You can write that text on a large piece of cardboard and make that picture by holding that cardboard in your hands. The faster you complete the Admission process, the faster we can deal with the current issues of the parish: sponsorship, benefits, charity, etc.

Blessings,
Rev. Eduard

Elmo is a lazy idiot who does nothing... we won't get anything funny from him, because he seems to understand nothing of what is required of him and seems to not understand that "time is money!". Laughing

Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2020 1:18 am

Elmo is such a shady self-serving lazy twat. Much of the address he gave you was edited to avoid Google but I think it is fake. That "indypendance" (sic) layout area is actually located in Nigeria where he said he is from. He might be mixing addresses from both countries to hide his true location. Maybe the church should tell him that they sent him a money order or an AMEX traveller's cheque to help him with the application process. It doesn't have to utilize the P-LOG modality just yet. If he lied he should come clean and you can torture him for lying to you and later send him a "real" P-LOG parcel to chase after. This tosser is just BEGGING to be safari'd even if he doesn't know it yet. It absolutely amazes me that this rancid sack of dirty rotted garbage is so tragically inept that he can't be bothered to scrounge together 20 measely dollars to meet Mary at 4E to rob her of nearly 100k Euros...all while his fake sick mother lies in bed barely clinging on to dear dear life. Biggest....loser-douche sack....ever! Glory to the Holy Lamb amen! Laughing

Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2020 3:43 pm

Sunday

Nothing from him, so my reverend Ed wrote to sister Dave (Elmo is in CC):

Quote:

Sister Dave,

Please stop working with ELMO THE IDIOT and send those $15,000 sponsorship to our new brother Abdoulah from Kumasi. I am not interested in the reasons why brother Elmo was so late and I do not want to hear anything about him. It's his choice and he has to live with it! He had enough time to fulfill the requirements, but it turns out that he is lazy incapable of simple tasks. It is obvious that we cannot leave our funds in his hands!

We will continue with the community around Rev. Abdoulah.
My blessings!
Rev. Eduard

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2020 8:19 am

Monday

- Of course, our little idiot responded immediately when he felt that it was money. Laughing

- He sent a common message to Sister Dave and Reverend Eduard:

Quote:

Dear Rev. Eduard, dear sister Dave

Good morning.

Does it mean that if i send those requirement today you will no longer accept it again since you said that you have another person from Kumasi.

Please i want to know.

Thank you.

Regards,
Mr. ELMO.

- It is obvious that he is lazy and that we will not get any funny trophies from him, so we were happy to annoy him and frustrate him.
- Sister Dave to Elmo:

Quote:

Dear brother Elmo,

That is exactly what it means. You have been lazy and stalling to fulfill a simple task. You have proven to be unstable and untrustworthy.
You didn't even take the common courtesy to respond to our messages so father Eduard has chosen to find someone else.

Be blessed
Dave

- Reverend Eduard to Elmo:

Quote:

Son,
The door of the Church has closed for you! I have been patient with you for more than 3 weeks, but you have proven that you are unable to execute simple orders and that you are not serious and diligent. In these circumstances, I ordered that the first payment of the annual sponsorship ($15,000) be made in the bank account opened by our new Brother Abdul from the city of Kumasi. He responded promptly to all our messages and complied with all the rules and orders received, so we trust him.

You probably have many other businesses from which you earn very well and you were not at all interested in our small local parish. No problem!
I wish you much health and a happy life! Be blessed!
Rev. Eduard

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 8:53 am

Tuesday

Elmo is very frustrated because of that money ($15,000) and is now trying to look active and hard-working. Laughing

He wrote to Rev. Eduard:

Quote:

Dear Rev. Eduard,

Yes i know that i delay so much but don,t deny me to serve our Lord Jesus. Please give me another and i will not disappoint.

To Err is human and to forgive is divine.

I am staying in Accra so i will serve our lord Jesus here. Please just very last chance. please rev sir.

Thank you.

Regards,
Mr. ELMO

Rev. Eduard:

Quote:

Son,
Send the required materials and we will try to overcome this moment together. I don't trust you anymore, but Jesus said to forgive all the mistakes of those around us.

Blessings,
Rev. Eduard

Elmo:

Quote:

Dear Rev. Eduard,

Good morning sir.

Please sir, Thank you so much for your forgiveness, May God continue to bless you, but one more thing sir. you said that you don,t trust me anymore so it gives me serious concern and worried here.

Please as a christian we must forgive and forget completely sir, i cannot be made a Reverend and you cannot trust me, it didn,t look good sir. I think you need to forgive me completely and bring back the trust you have for me from the beginning. I know i messed up and i am now a change person. Please kindly forgive me completely so that my mind will be at rest sir.

Yes, I have write out the " PROOF OF FAITH" quote message on a difference white cabone paper and i am ready to sent with my FULL PICTURE standing visible as you requested and sent to you as soon as possible today unfailingly but i want you to bring back your trust you had for me from the beginning so that i can sent the " PROOF OF FAITH" message to you today.

Please i am looking for hear from you urgently.

Thank you and God bless you sir.

Regards,
Mr ELMO

Rev. Eduard:

Quote:

Son, a good Christian doesn't make conditions!
He does good deeds without waiting to be rewarded!
A good Christian helps everyone and does not boast about it!
A good Christian forgives the mistakes of those around him!

So will I. I want to see if my kindness will be rewarded.
Waiting for you to send the requested materials.
Blessings,
Rev. Eduard

We didn't expect anything from him and we didn't want to waste time with this lazy idiot. We were just trying to frustrate him as much as possible.

Sister Dave to our imbecile:

Quote:

Dear brother ELMO

Of course we are forgiving Christians like the Lord has taught us but He also taught us to cut off the vines that produce no fruit and you are behaving like a dead vine. If you show us your progress and the fruit of your labor unfailingly then, like our Lord Jesus Christ, we will show you forgiveness and the promise of us supporting your new parish will remain standing.
This means that today we expect you to send the form and the proof of faith picture and that you will not waste any time on the next steps of the initiation to become a reverend. Right now you are not even a member since you have not send us the requested handwritten form and picture so we have no obligations toward you.

Be blessed
Dave Weelson

===

Few hours later... Elmo send us his "proof of Faith" trophy. Laughing

Quote:

Dear Rev. Eduard,

I am happy now that you have bring back the trust you have for me from the beginning and i assured you now that your servant is change person and ready to do the work of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Please In the attachment is the " PROOF OF FAITH" quote message and my visible picture which you requested and also in attachment is the ADHESION FILLED FORM.

Please kindly open the attachment you will see those requirement and I pray that it will please your mind to approve and give me the opportunity to work in God divine yard.

Thank you once again for your forgiveness and the trust you have brought back.

I will be very glad if approve my requirements and give me the opportunity to serve our Lord Jesus Christ and I promise to win many souls for the Lord if giving the opportunity.

Thank you and God bless you sir.

Regards,
Mr. ELMO

Sister Dave to Elmo... We just want to annoy him and frustrate him. Twisted Evil

Quote:

Dear brother Meensah,

I can not present these to father Eduard. What were you thinking? The picture is unclear and the form is still not a handwritten form. I expect you to make the picture again for me today and write out the complete form and send me a picture of that as well. I thought I had been clear in my previous messages, but I see now that I need to repeat the simple instructions I have given you every time. I will remember that and I hope our Lord will forgive me for not doing that earlier on.

Be blessed
Dave

===

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 2:04 pm

Elmo

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave,

So you expect me to print the form and filled the form with a pen/biro and sign on it and return it back, also i should print the PROOF OF FAITH as well and take a picture of it in visible way and return it back to you.

Please clarify me if this is what you want and what you are saying.

Thank you and God bless you.

Regards,
Mr. Elmo.

Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother Elmo,

This is what I have been telling you from the start and what I am still expecting from you. If you can't print it you can copy it by hand. If you don't do anything at all we will not put any more effort into pulling on a dead horse.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 3:07 pm

Doing the Lord's work in knock off Adidas sandals wrote:

...and give me the opportunity to work in God divine yard.

TRANSLATION: I am begging you to ask me to build you a pyramid!!!

Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2020 9:35 am

10:03 Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother Elmo,

Again you have failed to follow instructions and do what you promised to do. Is it that hard to write out a form and make a clear picture?
Much later than you our new reverend <snipped> from Kumasi has started his membership process and he just finished his initiation process this monday. He will be receiving financial support of $25000 this week to get his parish operational and to support the less fortunate.
You have neglected the benefit the people around you will have from your labours. Imagine what you could have done by now to support the people in your city if you had finished the initiation by now. Yet you still have not done anything.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Attached was a picture of a finished monument. Elmo will be happy

Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2020 3:48 pm

12:48 Elmo thinks he can make stupid demands again

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave

Please send me the filled form and PROOF OF FAITH which our brother Rev. <snipped> has completed so that i see it and know how he filled his own form so that i will do same thing without making any mistake.

Please kindly send it to me today so i can see how Rev. <snipped> filled his form and also how he stand and take the PROOF OF FAITH visible picture so that i can do same without any mistake since you said that the last one i sent to you is not good.

Please do that and get back to me today.

Thank you and God bless you.

Regards,
Mr. Elmo.

14:24 Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother Elmo,

How dare you make demands like this? Don't you know that we have to deal with the GDPR laws? We can not forward a form that someone else filled to you, who isn't even an official member of our church yet. I will not send anything to you and I do not want to communicate any further with a lazy and rude man like yourself. You do not want to start a parish for our church in your city, you have been lying and wasting our time and it is time that the Lord cuts the fruitless branch out of the vineyard and burns it outside the vineyard.

Remain blessed.
Sister Dave

Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2020 6:02 pm

Elmo sent the same message to Rev. Eduard, so:

Quote:

Dear my son,

First of all, you have no right to make such requests.
Secondly, you are not a member of the church, so you are a stranger to us.
Third, it is prudent for the personal data of our people to be stored securely.

We don't know who you really are, so we must be careful. So far you have not been able to prove to me that you deserve to be helped by the holy church. All I heard from you were only excuses and postponements. Son, I'm sorry to tell you, but I don't think you deserve sponsorship or a monthly salary. You are simply a lazy man who does nothing but has demands. Well, this will not happen!

Blessings,
Rev. Eduard

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2020 3:47 am

Great bait! I'm a little confused, is Elmo the same lad in both pictures? The lad in the hat further up the thread looks much different than the lad holding the adhesion sign. Is Elmo the same as Mr. Mensah?

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2020 6:08 am

Yes, he is the same idiot! The quality of the last photo (the one with the "proof of the Faith" text) is deplorable, but he is!... remember, we are talking about Elmo here, that one moron who failed to buy a bus ticket for the trip to Tamale, although there were tens of thousands of dollars and a young woman eager to sleep with him. Laughing

===

He is certainly angry and frustrated. Twisted Evil

There is talk of tens of thousands of dollars, and he gets nothing. Laughing

He is an idiot and does not understand very well what is required of him... and all of this stresses him terribly. Laughing

===

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2020 9:53 am

9:15 Elmo to Sister Dave and rev Ed

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave

Thank you for your explanation. I will filled the forms together with the PROOF OF FAITH visible picture and sent to you today.

I will follow the step you explain to me on the previous email and return back the filled forms today.

Please just give me go ahead to proceed by replying my email urgently so that i will proceed to print out the form and fill it and return it back to you today.

Thank you and God bless you.

Regards,
Mr. Elmo .

9:21 Sister Dave

Quote:

Brother Elmo,

How many times have you promised this now? Yet all this time we have been waiting in vain for you to deliver on those promsieses. I need to see to believe first and if that makes me a Thomas, then so be it, because I have told you I do not want to communicate with an untrustworthy liar.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

10:15 Rev Ed.

Quote:

Son,

All these promises without cover become useless, because it is increasingly obvious that you are not able to work with God and that Faith is not strong in you. Son, if you were serious, by now you should have already been appointed Reverend and we should have made lists of the electronic and food products we should send to your people and we should have sent the money from sponsorship. You managed to lose a month, with silly excuses and stupid questions. Honestly, I don't think you'll be able to manage $40-50,000 budgets. You are not serious and you do not have the support of your community.

Blessings,
Rev. Ed

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2020 1:57 pm

14:08 our Idiot

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave,

Thank you for the great opportunity.

Please rest assured that all the requirement will be sent to you today. I really know that you have try alot to had patience with you.

Assured you today that i will not disappoint you again. I went the requirement few hours time today unfailingly.

Thank you and God bless you.

Regards,
Mr. Elmo.

14:23 Sister Dave

Quote:

Brother Elmo,

I have seen you promise this to me before, so please excuse me that I'm not overflowing with enthusiasm right now.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2020 4:12 pm

16.49 - Elmo to Rev. Eduard:

Quote:

Dear Rev. Eduard,

I am happy now that you have bring back the trust you have for me from the beginning and i assured you now that your servant is change person and ready to do the work of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Please In the attachment is the " PROOF OF FAITH" quote message and my visible picture which you requested and also in attachment is the ADHESION FILLED FORM.

Please kindly open the attachment you will see those requirement and I pray that it will please your mind to approve and give me the opportunity to work in God divine yard.

Thank you once again for your forgiveness and the trust you have brought back.

I will be very glad if approve my requirements and give me the opportunity to serve our Lord Jesus Christ and I promise to win many souls for the Lord if giving the opportunity.

Thank you and God bless you.

Regards,
Mr. Elmo

These tiny pictures are at the "original" resolution to which they were sent. Of course, sister Dave will refuse them. Twisted Evil

This idiot understands nothing. Laughing

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2020 4:16 pm

Quote:

This idiot understands nothing.

Why do you think I foisted him onto someone else? Very Happy

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2020 7:41 pm

Ah, so that was the reason you so generously offered him up Rolling Eyes

I'd like it more to see him make a scene playing moses. Of course he will be slapped for being an idiot anyway.

On the Mary-front, he's boring, still begging for money, still trying to get her to Accra, which won't happen any time soon due to the corona outbreak.

Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2020 7:14 am

Saturday

The idiot sent another message to Rev. Eduard:

Quote:

Dear Rev. Eduard,

Good morning sir.

Please kindly update me if you receive the requirement i sent to you yesterday.

Thank you and God bless you.

Regards,
Mr. Elmo.

The Reverend is on his way to visit the orphanages in the area, so he will not be able to respond to the message. Laughing