Peter, a funny nigerian scammer - 4x Safari

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Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

Perhaps it is time for JooJoo to have his eyes checked. How many goats can one man hit?
Perhaps next time he won't be wearing his seatbelt and suffer a slight concussion? He could be experiencing memory loss at that point. Always nice to have a medical reason for failing........

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 2:04 pm

^^^ A very good idea, thanks! Laughing

14.05 - Peter to Emoje (the manager):

Quote:

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your message,
And to inform you that I have arrived at Place de I'Etoile Rouge in few hours ago and also sent the picture to him.

Thank you
Peter

14.46 - Emoje:

Quote:

Salam Sir,
The mechanic is still working on the repair of the car. I will tell Joojoo to keep you updated on the evolution of the situation and to inform you exactly. You will probably receive a message from him within minutes.

Mash'Allah!
Emoje

===

15.21 - Emoje to our lad:

Quote:

Dear Sir, as Salamu Alaykum!
The mechanic is working hard, trying to repair the radiator. Joojoo is there and waiting for the car to be ready. He will let you know as soon as he knows how long he can start his journey to Cotonou. Please go and eat something because it is not normal for our client to wait so long for nothing. Joojoo will pay you all the costs of this trip. If you have the bus ticket please take a picture and send it to me for accounting.

Mash'Allah!
Emoje

===

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 2:23 pm

Another happy customer!
Congrats on the safari, ... again Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 2:34 pm

^^^ LOL!

- Much of our success is due to the fact that we have the PLog site (Berje, thanks again! clapping

) and we can "personify" quite convincingly all of our little stories. I never talk on the phone, and this is a pretty serious drawback (considering our boys' appetite for phone calls).
- Also, Linoline is extremely, but extremely convincing and she successfully manages to build a parallel reality around these idiots. clapping

In short, our stories are a fun mix of happenings and coincidences and the fact that we plan everything carefully makes us succeed in most cases. Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 2:36 pm

Congrats on the safari! When did you start baiting this lad?

Also, should Mike send a spontaneous email to the lad asking if everything is all right, or should I wait until things get worse?

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 2:54 pm

In my opinion it would be strange if customer service contacts him when there's no sign of trouble that will have been mentioned to the headquarters. Right now it's just mechanical issues, but seeing the messages of the lad, not a problem at all (yet)

Birlic started baiting this lad early in January I believe. I joined on jan 20.

Mastermind wrote:

Also, Linoline is extremely, but extremely convincing and she successfully manages to build a parallel reality around these idiots. clapping

Thanks. You're doing a mighty fine job of that yourself as well[/quote]

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 2:55 pm

@MrMystery: This little story started on January 10 and I just wanted to have fun with Lenny and the MoneyGram Call Center (see on the first page)... The idiot proved to be extremely obedient, so together with Linoline we decided to continue the story... I introduced other characters to the story and we got here. Laughing

Another part follows, the one with the "Church of the Holy Lamb" and its rituals based on milk & honey. Maybe even a Pyramid, if we can be quite convincing. Laughing

Why are you asking?
===

Umukelani is no longer patient. Laughing

Quote:

Tell me what you do now and where you are. I want precise details. You managed to get the parcel and the money?

Peter (attached is the last message from Emoje):

Quote:

This is the last message from their manager few minutes ago, don't rush me I will give you the update immediately I get it received.

Umukelani, again:

Quote:

Don't tell me not to rush you, because I'm starting to get nervous. OK?
Tell me everything, everything that happened. Starting this morning and until now. I'm waiting.

Peter:

Quote:

I'm still waiting for the parcel to come don't bother me because I'm trying all to get everything ready today.

===

15.37 - Peter to Emoje:

Quote:

Dear Sir

Thank you for your message but I don't have the bus ticket, and it will going to be hard for me to back today if he don't reach here in time.

Thank you
Peter

15.50 - Emoke to our lad:

Quote:

Salam Sir,

All will be fine because I will order Joojoo to take you by car directly to the border area between Benin and Nigeria, so you can get home safely. Do you live near the border? I know that many people of Idiroko have contacts and friends in the Benin part of the border. So, do not worry about this.

Mash'Allah!
Emoje

===

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 3:06 pm

This is why he asked Very Happy

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 3:12 pm

^^^ Roger! Very Happy

MrMystery314 wrote:

Also, should Mike send a spontaneous email to the lad asking if everything is all right, or should I wait until things get worse?

Yeap, sure, please do it!
Mike will want to find out all the details of today's meeting, in order to make a correct assessment of the professionalism of the team in Benin. This is of course related to the monthly financial bonus. Right? Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 3:21 pm

I'm writing now just to apologize for the minor delay and ask if he is still appreciating our customer service. I want to set myself up as someone who he can ask for help later if needed.

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 3:23 pm

16.22 - Peter to Joojoo:

Quote:

Dear Jojo,

It's more than 3hours I have been waiting for you, so I want know how more long will I have to wait here?

Thank you
Peter

Obviously, our dear super-driver Joojoo will answer later. Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 3:28 pm

Mike enters the fray:

Quote:

Dear Mr. Omezumba,
My name is Mr. Newberry, and I'm the head of customer service for P-log. Given the value of your package, I thought it prudent to check in just to make sure that everything's all right. Have you been satisfied with the local staff? I see in the system that your package hasn't been picked up yet. I am sure that is just a minor mechanical delay, or traffic, or something like that; a trivial issue, I am sure. Please tell me any impressions you've had of our staff so far, and if you need any support or advice and the local staff prove inadequate or unclear, feel free to ask me anything.

Cheers!
-Mike

Assuming he gets my email and responds, I hope his impression is positive of the service so far. This may change.

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

Quote:

going to be hard for me to back today if he don't reach here in time

Isn't that the general idea here?????

It really is amazing to see how well you guys work together and how you make it look easy. Even with the formula used, there is still a lot of "prep" work to make it unfold seamlessly. And no matter how many times it happens, JooJoo hitting a goat is still funny.
The shipping company, the supporting cast of characters and a compliant lad all make it so believable. Truly amazing work!

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 3:50 pm

^^^ LOL, thanks! Very Happy

16.45 - Finally Joojoo reply to our lad:

Quote:

AM THINK WITHEEN UNA HOUR EVERTHEENG WIL BE REDY AT LEAST SO SAY DA MECHANIC
HE DISASEMBLD DA RADIETEUR AND TRIEED TO GLUE IT WIDH MOWER AN LEAD AN NOW HE MOUNTES BACK
WE WIL DO UNA SHORT TEST AN THEN AM WIL START TOWARDES YU
MA BOS EMOKE TOLD MI TO TAKE YU BY MA VAN AN TAKE YU UHERE YU SAY NEAR DA NAJIRIA BORDA AREA OK

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 5:02 pm

His eyes are scary. Stred the living crap out of him.

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 5:05 pm

The lad did respond to me:

Quote:

Dear Sir, Mike

Thank you for your message,
I have been waited over 4hours at the place where the parcel choose to be deliver at Cotonou but not yet arrive, and it hard for me to go back today cause of long delaying.

Thank you

What a shame.
Me:

Quote:

Mr. Omezumba,
I'm sorry to hear that. Has the driver or local manager explained the reason for the delay? Please keep me informed.

Lad:

Quote:

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your message, according to the drive said its a mechanical delay,
And I don't when he will going to be here.

Thank you

Me:

Quote:

Mr. Omezumba,
Thank you for the update. I am sure this will be resolved soon. Please keep me informed.

Largely meaningless of a conversation, but the lad believes the story. I hope he keeps playing along.

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 5:14 pm

^^^ Okay, so let's invite him to go to Bohicon. Laughing

18.10 - Joojoo writes to Peter:

Quote:

WE MOUNTED EVERYTHEENG AN TRIED TO LEAVE BUT DA WATAR BOILED IN RADIATEUR QUICK QUICK AN MELTD ALL THOZE REPARES
SO DA OLD RADIETUR CANOT BI REPARED SO AM ORDRED UNA NEW PIECE
IT WIL COM TOMORO MORNEENG AN DA MECHANIC WIL INSTAL QUICK QUICK OK
DIS NIGT AM HAV TO REMAIN HERE IN BOHICON AT OTEL PRINCES
IF YU WANNA COM HERE AM WIL PAY FO ANODHA ROOM FO YU
TOMORO WE LEAVE TOGEDHAR AN AM WIL LEAVE YU SOMUHEER NEAR DA BORDA AREA OK

Let's hope the little idiot prefers to sleep somewhere in Cotonou, so that tomorrow we can repeat our script. Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 5:18 pm

Bohicon isn't safari distance, unfortunately, but there are plenty of reasons why Joojoo could be recalled to Parakou from there. Maybe there's another urgent pickup for a VIP client, and the other drivers are busy; Joojoo needs to get back to Parakou. The lad can wait an extra day or two for him to return or he can follow Joojoo back to home base.

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 5:23 pm

18.20 - My manager Emoje:

Quote:

Masah el Kheir!
Unfortunately, it seems that the van could not be repaired today, so I decided the driver to sleep there in Bohicon. The new radiator will arrive tomorrow morning and things will go to normal. I invite you to take advantage of our best services and to stay overnight at the Hotel Des Princes, located in the city center of Bohicon. Joojoo is there and will take care of you, and tomorrow you and him will leave together directly to the border area near your city.

Salam,
Emoje

===

Our dear lad is sad... very sad.
He doesn't want to go to Bohicon, so he decided to go back home. Laughing

Quote:

Dear Joojoo,

I am tired of waiting here so if you can make it today then tell me what exactly is going so I will know what I can do because I came from far down to here. And it have already become night.

Thank you
Peter

and, half an hour later:

Quote:

I will start going back now, so you can tell me the time you will be arrived tomorrow then I will come meet you there at the time OK.

18.42 - Joojoo to Peter:

Quote:

AM WIL BI DHERE TOMORO AT NOONTIME OK
AM HAV MANY ODHAR PARSELS TO DELIVER IN COTONU BUT AM WIL COM FIRST TO YU OK ?
PLESE DO NO DELAY TOMORO BECUSE IT WIL BI DIFICULTE FO MI TO RECOVAR DIS LOST DAY OK ?

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 7:00 pm

I might have seen a lad looking angrier in a safari photo during my years of baiting, but right now I can't remember when. Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 7:45 pm

20:45 Sister Dave

Quote:

Dear brother Peter,

Unfortunately I haven't heard from you all day. I would have expected you to send me a message when you came home to tell me how happy the children are witht the support, yet I find my messages without them containing a single one from you. How ungrateful. Please give me an update about today and tell me when we can expect to receive the video of the children that you have promised us.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 7:45 pm

^^^ Muhahahaha! Laughing

19.33 - More fun with our lad. Laughing

Peter to my manager Emoje:

Quote:

Thank you for your service,
But I couldn't get there this night so I decided to leave and come back tomorrow at the same place in Cotonou, and I would like to know the exact time he will be arrive here tomorrow.

Thank you
Peter

Peter to Joojoo:

Quote:

I will be there at 12:30pm noon and I don't like what happened today to happen again tomorrow because I am coming from long way.

20.45 - Emoje to Peter:

Quote:

Masah el Kheir Sir!
I will make sure that everything will be perfect tomorrow and I deeply regret the unfortunate situation today. Once again I assure you of my deep respect. Joojoo will come directly to Cotonou to meet you at 12.30, only then will he continue to deliver the rest of the packages in his car.

Mash'Allah!
Emoje

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2020 10:08 pm

23:08

Quote:

Dear brother Peter,

Thank you for kindly sending me an update. I want to urge you tomorrow to keep us better updated about what is going on. My superiors have been on my neck today because they want to hear the news that the parcel has reached the children in good condition. Please promise me to communicate more effectively. It's a show of respect to do so.
I am glad to hear that you have worked things out with the shipping company and that you will receive the parcel tomorrow.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2020 6:26 am

Wednesday

07.20 - My fake nigerian Umukelani wrote to Peter:

Quote:

Tell me you got the money? What the hell is going on there?

Today:
- The new radiator will come to the workshop only at noon, so Joojoo will go to a bar and get drunk.
- Of course he will not be able to drive the car in that condition, so he will sleep.
- My manager Emoje will again invite Peter to go to Bohicon. Twisted Evil

===

08.00 - Today will be a new wonderful day. Laughing

... my manager Emoje writes to Peter:

Quote:

Sabah el Kheir, Sir!
I have talked to Joojoo now and everything is ready for today. He has already arrived at the workshop and waits, with the mechanic, for the courier to come and bring that new radiator to be mounted on the car. The operation does not last more than 2 hours, with all the installation and subsequent tests, so Joojoo will be present in Cotonou at the latest at 13.00-13.30. Please be there and don't be late, because Joojoo has many other packages in his van and must deliver those to the beneficiaries. If you want everything to end sooner, then you can go directly to the Cotonou airport, in the parking lot in front of the Arrivals Terminal. Joojoo has to take over some packages that came in the airport Hub over night.

After that, Joojoo will start at Porto-Novo and take you directly to the Idiroko border area, where you will be able to cross immediately to get home.
Cheers,
Emoje

===

Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2020 7:07 am

sparky905 wrote:

Perhaps it is time for JooJoo to have his eyes checked. How many goats can one man hit?

There was an article that I saved some years ago dealing with a journey from Lagos to Kano in a ramshackle minibus driven by a manic driver with apparently suicidal tendencies. Here's the relevant part.

Quote:

Ayos... felt no need to pass cars as long as he was on wide, straight stretches of road. But when he sighted a blind bend or, better yet, an oncoming cattle truck bristling with horns and thousand-pound steers, he was suddenly seized with the desire to overtake the vehicle ahead, which he did while leaning on his horn and despite howls of protest from the passengers behind me. The wreckage of four head-on collisions – which included corpses – that we roared by in the first hour of our trip did nothing to temper his lust for speed. At times, in fact, so irresistibly did he feel the need to overtake that he passed the car in front of us as it was passing the car in front of it, thereby turning the highway into a three-vehicle-deep wall of death for anything approaching from the other direction.

Maybe that guy was Joojoo's driving instructor.

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